Lily09 said:
Thank you for reading my post. I think I addressed all the questions below.
My kids are young. They are the absolute reason I continue to fight to get through each day. But man they sent me into a spiral sometimes. We have a preschool that they go to during the week. I feel bad because they even go on my days off but I need a break. I work in a hospital and I get so worn out taking care of others that I'm exhausted just being with my own kids for a short time. My job is stressful, but covid made it even worse. Manager changes also haven't helped.
I'd say my marriage is strong but it's hard to talk to my husband about my issues because he is already dealing with his own. He knows everything but I can't bring it up on a daily basis.
I've tried turning toward religion. But even there I feel like I'm failing. This is a whole other issue that I'm not going to go into.
My reoccurring symptoms have been exhaustion, hair loss, inability to lose weight, night sweats, irritable and not interested in doing anything. I've always wondered if there is an autoimmune issue that I'm not aware of.
I've tried counseling. My most recent experience was a nightmare and completely turned me off from it.
I don't have any friends to turn to. My only so called "friends" are my coworkers and I see them enough on my work days. I've always felt like wasted space when I'm around people. Why am I even there.
Very interesting about psilocybin. I looked up other articles about it. Thank you for sharing that info.
Your situation and mine share a lot of similarities, home, work, social life (or lack thereof) included. I tried short term counseling and it wasn't right either.
Forgive me if you've said if you're on anything and I don't recall, but are you?
I've been on Bupropion for years and it's helped me stay out of the bottom of the pit. It doesn't have the pitfalls of a lot of other antidepressants. It doesn't result in weight gain, lethargy, or sexual problems like some of the others. My doctor put me on 300 mg and it was a weird few days but it started doing things fast. A lot of them take weeks to start doing anything. It's worth a try if you are up to it, I fought using meds for years because I had a fear of taking anything that impacted my brain chemistry, but it has helped me.
My doctor went through the depression questionnaire and knew immediately it was serious and put me on the heaviest dose of it. I made sure to make clear I didn't want something that made me check out because I have a family. His reasoning was that it's easier to start at the top and work your way down than the reverse.
