Favorite Lines from The Office (US)

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TresPuertas
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8:58p, 3/5/20
AG
Because it's currently on Comedy Central as I type this, I'll go ahead and submit that "Dinner Party" may be the single greatest 30 minutes of television of all time.

Start to finish it perfection. It doesn't miss a thing.

I think it was on another thread, or maybe early on this one but it even has its own Oral History

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.rollingstone.com/tv/tv-features/that-one-night-the-oral-history-of-the-greatest-office-episode-ever-629472/amp/

Edit: the article goes on to say that it's the most cringe inducing episode ever but I have trouble getting through "Scott's Tots".
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HoustonAg2106
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10:16p, 3/5/20
AG
Was just watching this episode

Michael talking to Stanley on his birthday:

"Look at those wrinkles, blacks do crack...not the drug "
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FancyKetchup14
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10:48p, 3/5/20
AG
My favorite Robert California interaction was during his first appearance, his interview:

Quote:
Toby: How will your experience selling refinery equipment translate to our smaller scale here?
Robert California: You don't work in sales, do you?
Toby: Uh Human Resources.
Robert: You see, I sit across from a man. I see his face. I see his eyes. Now, does it matter if he wants a hundred dollars of paper or a hundred million dollars of deep-sea drilling equipment? Don't be a fool. He wants respect. He wants love. He wants to be younger. He wants to be attractive. There is no such thing as a product. Don't ever think there is. There is only sex. Everything is sex. You understand that what I'm telling you is a universal truth, Toby.
Toby: ...Yes.
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'03ag
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In reply to FancyKetchup14 • 10:51p, 3/5/20
Same. His interaction with Jim is great too
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Ol_Ag_02
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In reply to TresPuertas • 11:02p, 3/5/20
AG
TresPuertas said:
Because it's currently on Comedy Central as I type this, I'll go ahead and submit that "Dinner Party" may be the single greatest 30 minutes of television of all time.

Start to finish it perfection. It doesn't miss a thing.

I think it was on another thread, or maybe early on this one but it even has its own Oral History

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.rollingstone.com/tv/tv-features/that-one-night-the-oral-history-of-the-greatest-office-episode-ever-629472/amp/

Edit: the article goes on to say that it's the most cringe inducing episode ever but I have trouble getting through "Scott's Tots".


"Babe" and I happened to flip through right as it started and stopped down. Just absolute awkward perfection.

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FancyKetchup14
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In reply to '03ag • 12:27a, 3/6/20
AG
So gold.
"That man terrifies me. But also he might be a genius."
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Fat Bib Fortuna
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9:15a, 3/6/20
Money (I declare Bankruptcy) was on last night.

Creed:

Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to [holds up passport] Williams Charles Schneider.

Pam Beesly:

Now that I think about it, Angela and Andy might actually make a good couple... but I couldn't do that to Dwight. Or Angela... or Andy.
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TheDraw
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10:19a, 3/6/20
AG
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HoustonAg2106
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3:51p, 3/6/20
AG








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Wolfpac 08
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10:13p, 3/6/20
AG
Diversity training:

Michael: Man, I should have gotten some food

Kevin (Italian accent with "Italian" card on forehead): Maybe some spaghetti!

Michael: ok, Kevin you can take off that thing, ok? That would really, really show him up, wouldn't it? If I had brought in some burritos, colored greens, pad Thai...I love pad Thai

Stanley: it's Collard Greens..

Michael: ahh that doesn't really make sense. Cause you don't call them 'Collard People'...that's offensive
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'03ag
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11:24p, 3/6/20
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TXAG 05
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In reply to Wolfpac 08 • 12:13a, 3/7/20
AG
Wolfpac 08 said:
Diversity training:

Michael: Man, I should have gotten some food

Kevin (Italian accent with "Italian" card on forehead: Maybe some spaghetti!

Michael: ok, Kevin you can take off that thing, ok? That would really, really show him up, wouldn't it? If I had brought in some burritos, colored greens, pad Thai...I love pad Thai

Stanley: it's Collard Greens..

Michael: ahh that doesn't really make sense. Cause you don't call them 'Collard People...that's offensive


Kevin: Hey.

Angela: Hey.

Kevin: You wanna go to the beach?

Angela: Sure.

Kevin: You wanna get high?

Angela: No.

Kevin: I think you do, mon.

Angela: Stop...

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rfvgy12
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6:42a, 3/7/20
AG
Oh God, I hope it's urine

“If one side is protesting racism, then the other side is counter protesting racism.” @thekellenmond
In response to pro Sul Ross statue protesters and fellow Aggies.
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Bunkhouse96
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9:15a, 3/7/20
AG
My daughter's favorite

When Dwight is interim manager and Joe is coming to visit

Dwight "I want all of you to promise me you'll be on your best behavior"

Jim " I already promised other people I would be on my worst behavior.'

Everytime I tell my daughter to do something she says she already promised other people to do the opposite.
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Wolfpac 08
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9:24a, 3/7/20
AG
Toby is in HR which technically means he works for corporate, so really not a part of our family...also he's divorced so he's really not a part of his family
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Bunkhouse96
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9:30a, 3/7/20
AG
Cici's Christianing when she messes up her dress

Pam: There is a spare dress in the bag
Jim: no their isn't
Pam: I told you to check, you said you checked
Jim: I did....say that.
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FancyKetchup14
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10:03a, 3/7/20
AG
"Gossip" has some great lines, including Creed's one about SCUBA. I would do a lot of things if I could go back and have gotten to sit in the writers room for this show.


Andy: What?
Kevin: [giggling] Tea.
Andy: So?
Kevin: You would.
Andy: I like tea!
Kevin: Oh, I bet you like it.
Andy: Hahaha! I like it a lot! I love tea!
Kevin: Do you like it as much as you like mens' butts?
Andy: WHAT??
Kevin: Because you're gay.

And then later

Toby: "What are you guys talking about? I have a daughter, how could I be a virgin?!"
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Humorous Username
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7:44p, 3/7/20
AG
SIAP

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investorAg83
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In reply to Definitely Not A Cop • 2:02p, 3/8/20
AG
Champ Bailey said:
Watched the one where Michael and Jan go public for the first time to David Wallace's party.



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HoustonAg2106
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4:51p, 3/8/20
AG
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TheDraw
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1:43p, 3/9/20
AG
I like the joke.

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Wolfpac 08
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6:56a, 3/11/20
AG
When it's Michaels birthday at the skating rink and Kevin is waiting to hear if he has skin cancer:

Michael: Hey Pam, I was thinking, with all this stuff with Kevin...next time you're in the shower you should check yourself out. Just give yourself a check [points to her breasts]...Those things are ticking time bags...

.....

Carol: Michael?

Michael: Carol?? She sold me my condo! What are you doing here? Is this place on the market?!

Carol: I don't just sell real estate...
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The Collective
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9:12a, 3/11/20
AG
A timely clip that the Office youtube account put up yesterday.
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TCTTS
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2:46p, 3/11/20
AG

https://ew.com/books/the-best-office-ideas-that-almost-happened/
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Stupe
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In reply to The Collective • 3:16p, 3/11/20
S
The "I heard that your Mamma" part of that clip is awesome.
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'03ag
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In reply to TCTTS • 3:35p, 3/11/20
If only we knew someone in Hollywood that could pursue the Here Comes Treble murder-silence pact spinoff..
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HtownAg92
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In reply to '03ag • 3:56p, 3/11/20
AG
'03ag said:
If only we knew someone in Hollywood that could pursue the Here Comes Treble murder-silence pact spinoff..
I thought Broccoli Rob was the "Boner Champ".



From "Product Recall"

Jim Halpert:
Yeah, I'm definitely going to go alone.
Michael Scott:
No, no, I need two men on this-- That's what she said-- No time!-- But she did-- No time!

Andy:So Tuna when we get in there let's do a really good job okay?
Jim Halpert:Did that really need to be said?
Andy:Well not everything a guy says needs to be said. Sometimes it's just about the music of a conversation.


Principal:
The issue with the watermark is very serious.
Jim Halpert:
Absolutely.
Principal:
We teach our students that character counts.
Jim Halpert:
And you should--
Andy:
Pfft. You don't teach it well enough. One of your students is a *****.
Jim Halpert:
Andy, is having a real rough day today.

Andy:
I wanna take an ad in your yearbook. Full-page, two words...
Jim Halpert:
'Good luck'.
Andy:
That's not what I had in mind.
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HoustonAg2106
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In reply to HtownAg92 • 7:09p, 3/11/20
AG
HtownAg92 said:
'03ag said:
If only we knew someone in Hollywood that could pursue the Here Comes Treble murder-silence pact spinoff..
I thought Broccoli Rob was the "Boner Champ".



From "Product Recall"

Jim Halpert:
Yeah, I'm definitely going to go alone.
Michael Scott:
No, no, I need two men on this-- That's what she said-- No time!-- But she did-- No time!

Andy:So Tuna when we get in there let's do a really good job okay?
Jim Halpert:Did that really need to be said?
Andy:Well not everything a guy says needs to be said. Sometimes it's just about the music of a conversation.


Principal:
The issue with the watermark is very serious.
Jim Halpert:
Absolutely.
Principal:
We teach our students that character counts.
Jim Halpert:
And you should--
Andy:
Pfft. You don't teach it well enough. One of your students is a *****.
Jim Halpert:
Andy, is having a real rough day today.

Andy:
I wanna take an ad in your yearbook. Full-page, two words...
Jim Halpert:
'Good luck'.
Andy:
That's not what I had in mind.


Also from the water mark episode

"I'm calling the better business bureau "

"Yea well I'm calling the ungrateful beeotch hotline"
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JABQ04
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9:48p, 3/11/20
AG
"Mose, you'll never guess where I am right now "

Screeching on the other end of the phone.
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Humorous Username
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2:28p, 3/12/20
AG
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Dallasag02
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In reply to Humorous Username • 2:53p, 3/12/20
AG
Humorous Username said:

Andy makes all the bad dad jokes about Coronavirus and Lime Disease. Jim stares at the camera each time.
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Stupid Sexy Flanders
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In reply to Dallasag02 • 2:58p, 3/12/20
Dallasag02 said:
Humorous Username said:

Andy makes all the bad dad jokes about Coronavirus and Lime Disease. Jim stares at the camera each time.


Toby spouts off statistics and reiterates the "silent killers."
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HoustonAg2106
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In reply to Stupid Sexy Flanders • 4:56p, 3/12/20
AG
Dog Faced Pony Soldier said:
Dallasag02 said:
Humorous Username said:

Andy makes all the bad dad jokes about Coronavirus and Lime Disease. Jim stares at the camera each time.


Toby spouts off statistics and reiterates the "silent killers."


Meredith taking shots off tequila to kill the bacteria
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FancyKetchup14
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In reply to HoustonAg2106 • 5:18p, 3/12/20
AG
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PDEMDHC
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9:10a, 3/13/20
AG
Ding dong
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