The entire CPR Scene has some great lines
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Creed "He has no wallet I checked"

Kevin: I can't keep doing this forever
Lady: it's been 20 seconds
Kevin: Call it

Wife and I are watching it through one last time before it leaves Netflix and this is the one that we always have to pause for because I laugh so hard.

*Michael bounces the watermelon off the trampoline and onto the hood of a car*

Michael: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Deactivate the car alarm and clean up the mess!

Dwight: Okay

Michael: Find out whose car that is. If it's Stanley's, call the offices of James P. Albini, see if he handles hate crimes.

Deposition Reporter: [reading off paper] "Mr. Scott, do you realize you just contradicted yourself?" "I did?" "Yes you did." "Can I go to the bathroom?" "No." "I really have to, I've been drinking lots of water." "You went five minutes ago." "That wasn't to go to the bathroom, that was to get out of a question." "You still have to answer it." "First can I go to the bathroom?" "No."

jrod2181 said:

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The entire CPR Scene has some great lines


Creed "He has no wallet I checked"

Kevin: I can't keep doing this forever
Lady: it's been 20 seconds
Kevin: Call it

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first I was afraid...
I was petrified.

one of the best moments of goodbye Michael

When I watched this for the first time I had tears from laughing so hard.

Lots of great ones listed here.

"You will thank me, when they spank thee" - Andy during "Business Trip"

The whole "Oh D" exchange between Dwight and Andy


Michael describing Diwali in "Diwali"

"Tonight, one of our most ethnic co-workers, Kelly, has invited us all to a Diwali celebration put on by her community. What is Diwali, you may ask? Well, to have Kelly explain it, it's "ada blah blah blah, it's so super fun and it's going to be great." Lot of gods with unpronounceable names. Twenty minutes later you find out that is essentially a Hindu Halloween."

Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the woman's room. When I went in to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can.

This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone.

Michael: "What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I went -- I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years."

HTownAg98 said:

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Jim Halpert said there was an abandoned infant in the woman's room. When I went in to save the child, I saw Meredith on the can.

This morning, I knocked myself in the head with the phone.

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Every time I typed in my name on the computer it said "diapers".

v

Blood alone moves the wheels of history!

From the same deposition:

Quote:

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Lester: How long have you known the plaintiff?
Michael: I haven't actually seen it. But I have seen the firm, and I am planning on renting The Pelican Brief
Lester: How long have you known Ms. Levinson?
Michael: Six years and two months.
Lester: And you were directly under her the entire time?
Michael: That's what she said.
Lester: Excuse me?
Michael: That's what she said.
Lester: Ms. Levinson told you she was your direct superior?
Michael: Uh, wh-why would she say that?
Jan: Can we just move on to another question?
Diane: No wait, I don't understand. Who's on record on saying this?
Lester: With all due respect, I'm in the middle of a line of questioning. Now Mr. Scott, what did you say Ms. Levinson said? Regarding your employment status with respect to her corporate position.
Michael: Come again? That's what she said? I don't know what you're talking about.
Jan: Okay, if I may, he was just telling a joke before, so can we move on to another question?
Lester: Oh, are you sure?
Jan: Uh, yes.
Lester: Can you go back to where this digression began?
Deposition Reporter: [reading off paper] Mr. Schneider: And you were directly under her the entire time? Mr. Scott: That's what she said.
Michael: Well, delivery is all wrong. She's butchering it.

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Quote:

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'Just got back from Jamaica. Tan almost everywhere. Jan almost everywhere. Hee hee. Oh diary, what a week. I had sex with my boss. I don't know if it's going to go anywhere. Jan was very specific that this is not going anywhere, that it was a one-time mistake. But we had sex six times so you tell me. I am definitely feeling very eerie.'

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Another favorite is when Pam and Jim get married, and they are having a dance party in the hotel the night before the wedding. Kelly and Andy are having a dance off, and Kelly keeps saying "what else you got?". Erin and Kevin pick up on it.




Then this happens:

"Wow, you're very exotic looking. Was your dad a GI?"

I just watched that episode... Pam's face is so great

One of my favorites is one that gets an eye roll from my wife every time: "I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious"

double aught said:

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"Wow, you're very exotic looking. Was your dad a GI?"

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This is what is so great about this.

Michael is not a racist or a bigot. He just has no filter. He says what many if not most are thinking but have the self awareness and nuance to not go there.

It's really brilliant that way. God I love this show. This is how good America needs to be again. Where we have a sense of humor about this sh**. Most people, of every spectrum, are not hateful. We just f*** up the delivery.

This show is greatness.

TheDraw said:

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one of the best moments of goodbye Michael

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This is maybe the funniest scene in the history of television, this meme is better than any comedy CBS has ever done.

And the most awkward chant in the history of television is...

"Hey Mister Scott, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Make our dreams come true! Hey Mister Scott, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do? Make our dreams come true!"

BUTTLICKER!

AgfromHOU said:

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My wife and I are watching clips of The Office on the NBC app. A lot of these haven't aired. One was a Halloween clip where Michael is dressed with his dick in a box (like the SNL sketch) and fakes a hanging in front of kids

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