Why is dating after 35 such a beating?

233,504 Views | 1575 Replies | Last: 7 mo ago by aeon-ag
Carlo4
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to chiken • 11:55a, 7/1/22
AG
chiken said:
How many of you single people in the dating world kiss on the first date? Whats a date gotta do to make it obvious they want the smooch?


My wife and I made out in there car for like 3 hours like idiot teenagers after our first date. One kiss at the end, and we just kind of knew.
Reply Quote
maroon barchetta
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Ag_N_Houston • 12:05p, 7/1/22
Ag_N_Houston said:
I'm oddly attracted to fish pics. I like outdoorsy types.


Rivalries has a good fishing pics thread you might enjoy.
Reply Quote
8
Sea Speed
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to maroon barchetta • 12:11p, 7/1/22
AG
maroon barchetta said:
Ag_N_Houston said:
I'm oddly attracted to fish pics. I like outdoorsy types.


Rivalries has a good fishing pics thread you might enjoy.


I vote she becomes a contributor
Reply Quote
16
The Fife
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Stat Monitor Repairman • 12:17p, 7/1/22
Stat Monitor Repairman said:
The Fife said:
Ag_N_Houston said:
I have exactly none of those things on my profile. I also use unfiltered pictures. I've been asked on 3 dates in the past 2 weeks.

One guy deleted me before I actually answered. One was clearly looking for a hookup. One I accepted, but it definitely won't be more than friends. I was honest and told.
That's good, I think the majority just disappear.

There's probably a guy OLD profile starter pack somewhere on reddit too. Over here friends say it would be boat pic (because, Charleston), "look at this fish I just caught!," driving selfie in hat and sunglasses, looking pissed off at the gym, one taken from a bar, and the optional and universally hated posing with a dead deer.


In other words, 'heres list of my hobbies that you can look forward to nagging me about after we start dating.'
Some women's profiles mention having a boat being mandatory. I guess if you're a gold digger sometimes it's ok to be upfront about it.
Reply Quote
8
Stat Monitor Repairman
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to The Fife • 12:25p, 7/1/22
Talmbout a boat in they profile than that means they workin'
Reply Quote
1
Pirate04
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
1:34p, 7/1/22
AG
On the topic of kids, I wouldn't say no to a single dad. The only issues is usually the mother. I would say no to a single dad who refuses to have any more kids. I don't know if I can or even want to have a kid but I wouldn't want it completely off the table.
Reply Quote
chiken
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
1:38p, 7/1/22
AG
I wouldnt say no to a man with children either.

And I deleted the last guys number because he didn't text or call me but a few times after the date. If he were interested he would have done more, in my opinion.
Reply Quote
Win At Life
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to chiken • 1:56p, 7/1/22
AG
chiken said:
I wouldnt say no to a man with children either.

And I deleted the last guys number because he didn't text or call me but a few times after the date. If he were interested he would have done more, in my opinion.


"Didn't call or text me enough. Not enough attention, so I blocked his number. " " Called and texted me too much. Stalker, so I blocked his number " "Dating is such a beating." [Chicken]
Reply Quote
31
aglaohfour
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Pirate04 • 1:58p, 7/1/22
AG
Pirate04 said:
On the topic of kids, I wouldn't say no to a single dad. The only issues is usually the mother. I would say no to a single dad who refuses to have any more kids. I don't know if I can or even want to have a kid but I wouldn't want it completely off the table.


This is accurate. In fact I would advise anyone starting to date a single dad to make finding out what his ex's deal is a priority. No matter how awesome a man is, if he has to coparent with someone hell bent on making his life difficult, it will impact any partner he has at least until the kids are grown and sometimes even beyond that.
Reply Quote
3
Bunk Moreland
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Pirate04 • 2:06p, 7/1/22
Quote:
I would say no to a single dad who refuses to have any more kids. I don't know if I can or even want to have a kid but I wouldn't want it completely off the table.
I agree on the kids part...whether they already have them or not. Dated a girl from bumble who said she was open to children (had no kids) and after seeing her for the 3rd time or so, she had a few drinks and just ranted how she could never imagine bring a child into this world, has never wanted kids, blah blah blah...and well....that was that.

I appreciate it if their profile says they don't want (or don't want more) children. I'd rather them be honest up front so I don't waste my time.
Reply Quote
1
1 edit
Ags4DaWin
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Stat Monitor Repairman • 2:56p, 7/1/22
Stat Monitor Repairman said:


Option 4:
27 year Olds who haven't been completely ruined by the dating scene yet.

That is the little trail off the edge of the picture.
Reply Quote
7
1 edit
chiken
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Win At Life • 3:33p, 7/1/22
AG
Oh shut up. I cant win with you people anyway
Reply Quote
2
Proposition Joe
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:50p, 7/1/22
If you're a single guy in his 30's in decent shape and with a real job and you're struggling -- you are doing something really wrong.

You don't even have to be attractive. Just don't be fat.
Reply Quote
4
Green2Maroon
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to chiken • 4:03p, 7/1/22
AG
chiken said:
I wouldnt say no to a man with children either.

And I deleted the last guys number because he didn't text or call me but a few times after the date. If he were interested he would have done more, in my opinion.

He may have been cautious not to bug you too much. There can be a fine line between being inattentive and overly aggressive.
Reply Quote
8
Stat Monitor Repairman
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Green2Maroon • 4:09p, 7/1/22
G2Ms right. You got to adjust for the conditions.

You can't always be fishing topwater looking for that big hit.

Sometime you got to fish that soft plastic slow and deep.
Reply Quote
4
AggieArchitect04
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to aglaohfour • 4:34p, 7/1/22
AG
aglaohfour said:
Pirate04 said:
On the topic of kids, I wouldn't say no to a single dad. The only issues is usually the mother. I would say no to a single dad who refuses to have any more kids. I don't know if I can or even want to have a kid but I wouldn't want it completely off the table.


This is accurate. In fact I would advise anyone starting to date a single dad to make finding out what his ex's deal is a priority. No matter how awesome a man is, if he has to coparent with someone hell bent on making his life difficult, it will impact any partner he has at least until the kids are grown and sometimes even beyond that.


Seems weird to let the ex-wives have this much influence over who you date. Doesn't sound very empowering to me.
Reply Quote
3
B-1 83
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Ags4DaWin • 4:42p, 7/1/22
AG
Ags4DaWin said:
jwoodmd said:
Ags4DaWin said:
jwoodmd said:
maroon barchetta said:
HossAg said:
Penny

Guys - little inside info - she's over 35


lol yall keep posting celebrities and are like- "she's over 35 you wouldn't date her?" Like this is some kind of gotcha.

It's not.

Celebrities are the exception to almost everything.

1) I guarantee you she looks different without a team of stylists, hairdressers, platic surgeons, and makeup artists
2) As a celebrity she sits on the upper echelon of the dating hierarchy regardless of age. Because she is a celebrity, dating her confers alot of advantages that dating a 20 year old run of the mill hottie would not- money, prestige, etc. So to accurately judge if her status in the dating pool took a hit as she aged we would need to compare her to a mid 20's celebrity counterpart, not a mid 20's regular jane.
3) willing to **** and wanting to date with an eye on marriage are 2 different things.

But oh yes....let's toss up pics of the hottest women in the world and pretend that is how MOST women over 35 look.

LOL it's so sad that yall are so bitter about reality that yall bring it up every chance you get.
You are such a Cliff Clavin…


Well actually historically the Clavens were descendents of the Egyptian Clavonesei who were the close advisers of the pharaohs in Egypt and later Alexander the Great, Charlomaine, and the later Abraham Lincoln.

Valued for our large amount of knowledge and wisdom the Clavens have been advisers to most of the greatest empires ever to exist.
This was unappreciated genius by Ags4DaWin
Being in TexAgs jail changes a man……..no, not really
Reply Quote
7
aglaohfour
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to AggieArchitect04 • 4:50p, 7/1/22
AG
No, it's not very empowering to be continually harassed by a BSC person for nearly 14 years. Or to spend $30k (and countless sleepless nights) just so your partner can be a parent to his kids. If you think that you can be in a long term intimate relationship with someone who has a mentally ill ex who they absolutely have to interact with and it won't effect your relationship or your day to day life, I don't know what to tell you. It would be much better to know up front that someone is inextricably bound to a crazy person for a set number of years before getting too serious is all I was saying.
Reply Quote
9
Stringfellow Hawke
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to chiken • 4:58p, 7/1/22
AG
chiken said:
I wouldnt say no to a man with children either.

And I deleted the last guys number because he didn't text or call me but a few times after the date. If he were interested he would have done more, in my opinion.


Call me crazy but if I enjoyed the 1st date I mention at the end that I enjoyed meeting, would like to go out again and will be in touch.

Just be honest and keep it simple usually works out well.
Reply Quote
5
maroon barchetta
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Stringfellow Hawke • 5:03p, 7/1/22
Stringfellow Hawke said:
chiken said:
I wouldnt say no to a man with children either.

And I deleted the last guys number because he didn't text or call me but a few times after the date. If he were interested he would have done more, in my opinion.


Call me crazy but if I enjoyed the 1st date I mention at the end that I enjoyed meeting, would like to go out again and will be in touch.

Just be honest and keep it simple usually works out well.


Who says exactly what they are thinking? What kind of game is that?" [/Kelly Kapoor (and most women)]
Reply Quote
11
AggieArchitect04
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to aglaohfour • 5:22p, 7/1/22
AG
I get that. Some of it. Except the mentally ill part.

But people don't really get to know someone that way. Nobody airs out all their bull**** at the beginning and there's nothing wrong with that. That would be super weird. I don't think lying is okay, but there's nothing wrong with playing things close to the vest. Why should a person be ostracized from the dating world because an entirely different person they dated/married is BSC?

I can see how a horrible ex could affect a new relationship but I think that's why boundaries are important all the way around. Seems like that would be the thing to do instead of writing off the possibility of a relationship altogether.
Reply Quote
1
Proposition Joe
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
5:30p, 7/1/22
If you married BSC, chances are you make poor decisions and will make them again.

In every "crazy ex" story, the storyteller implies the other one was crazy. Usually it was both.
Reply Quote
9
Green2Maroon
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Proposition Joe • 5:35p, 7/1/22
AG
I'm glad I didn't marry mine. That would have been even more of a train wreck.
Reply Quote
1
GAC06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Proposition Joe • 8:26p, 7/1/22
AG
Proposition Joe said:
If you're a single guy in his 30's in decent shape and with a real job and you're struggling -- you are doing something really wrong.

You don't even have to be attractive. Just don't be fat.


Dudes in their thirties complaining that dating is rough probably had it rough in their twenties as well.
Reply Quote
5
AggieArchitect04
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to GAC06 • 9:08p, 7/1/22
AG
GAC06 said:
Proposition Joe said:
If you're a single guy in his 30's in decent shape and with a real job and you're struggling -- you are doing something really wrong.

You don't even have to be attractive. Just don't be fat.


Dudes in their thirties complaining that dating is rough probably had it rough in their twenties as well.


Doubtful. You're not the same person in your early 20s as you are in your late 30s. People change. Circumstances change. If you haven't evolved through life you're doing it wrong.
Reply Quote
4
GAC06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to AggieArchitect04 • 9:36p, 7/1/22
AG
So maybe guys that struggle at dating in their thirties were once good at it but life experience evolved them to be undesirable to women? I guess that's possible but a little harsher than I was going for.
Reply Quote
AggieArchitect04
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to GAC06 • 10:45p, 7/1/22
AG
GAC06 said:
So maybe guys that struggle at dating in their thirties were once good at it but life experience evolved them to be undesirable to women? I guess that's possible but a little harsher than I was going for.

Perhaps. But who says they're undesirable in the first place? I don't think it's that simple.

The dating pool in the mid-20s is totally different than in the mid or late 30s. The landscape is different for dating and for life in general. By and large, by the mid-30s many people are married up with kids. So immediately the prospects are less.

The longer you live, and the more people you date, the more life experience you have. The more dating experience you. Not all those experiences are going to be good. And I think people tend to carry things from one relationship into the next. So that influences things.
Reply Quote
GAC06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to AggieArchitect04 • 11:16p, 7/1/22
AG
Yes, there are fewer desirable women available in their 30's. However a decently desirable man in his 30's has the option to date younger women.
Reply Quote
7
The Fife
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to aglaohfour • 1:30a, 7/2/22
aglaohfour said:
Pirate04 said:
On the topic of kids, I wouldn't say no to a single dad. The only issues is usually the mother. I would say no to a single dad who refuses to have any more kids. I don't know if I can or even want to have a kid but I wouldn't want it completely off the table.


This is accurate. In fact I would advise anyone starting to date a single dad to make finding out what his ex's deal is a priority. No matter how awesome a man is, if he has to coparent with someone hell bent on making his life difficult, it will impact any partner he has at least until the kids are grown and sometimes even beyond that.

What's weird is I took a lot of crap from the last person I was dating because things between me and my kids' mom were normal. It was an amicable divorce instead of mutual assured destruction and I have the kids for a agreed upon 5 days out of the week. No drama, stable situation that works for everyone.

The person I was seeing I think was the paranoid type, like how a car followed her down the street I live on and stopped at a neighbor's house. That's because they have high school aged kids and someone was dropping one of them off at home. She was convinced that it was my ex wife despite being wrong house, completely different kind of car, ...
Reply Quote
713nervy
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to JobSecurity • 2:23a, 7/2/22
AG
JobSecurity said:
soo what are people with kids supposed to do? No I'm not looking for someone to raise them, but they're kind of a big part of my life? Gonna have to be okay with them being around. Not hiding that and wasting anybody's time

sounds more like this thread should be about dating with kids, not dating over 35

If you've read any bit of this thread then you should know that this is not the place to come for any sort of healthy, well adjusted response.
Reply Quote
3
GAC06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
2:29a, 7/2/22
AG
Maybe most healthy well adjusted people don't have experience dating over 35
Reply Quote
4
2 edits
GAC06
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
3:17a, 7/2/22
AG
And miss out on my prime attractiveness as a male slightly over 35? No thanks.
Reply Quote
7
_lefraud_
User Profile
Private Message
Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to Bunk Moreland • 6:19a, 7/2/22
AG
Bunk Moreland said:
Quote:
I would say no to a single dad who refuses to have any more kids. I don't know if I can or even want to have a kid but I wouldn't want it completely off the table.
I agree on the kids part...whether they already have them or not. Dated a girl from bumble who said she was open to children (had no kids) and after seeing her for the 3rd time or so, she had a few drinks and just ranted how she could never imagine bring a child into this world, has never wanted kids, blah blah blah...and well....that was that.

I appreciate it if their profile says they don't want (or don't want more) children. I'd rather them be honest up front so I don't waste my time.


What if I'm good with what I have but open to having more?
Reply Quote
1
Petrino1
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to AggieArchitect04 • 7:09a, 7/2/22
AggieArchitect04 said:
GAC06 said:
So maybe guys that struggle at dating in their thirties were once good at it but life experience evolved them to be undesirable to women? I guess that's possible but a little harsher than I was going for.


The longer you live, and the more people you date, the more life experience you have. The more dating experience you. Not all those experiences are going to be good. And I think people tend to carry things from one relationship into the next. So that influences things.


Spot on. It's hard dating women in their 30's because a lot of them in the past have been hurt, manipulated, used, cheated on, abusive/toxic relationships etc. This causes them to have a wall up or be emotionally unavailable when meeting someone new. They automatically assume every man is like their toxic ex.
Reply Quote
2
Petrino1
User Profile Ignore User Stop Ignoring
How long do you want to ignore this user?
24 hours One week Permanently Cancel
In reply to GAC06 • 7:11a, 7/2/22
GAC06 said:
Proposition Joe said:
If you're a single guy in his 30's in decent shape and with a real job and you're struggling -- you are doing something really wrong.

You don't even have to be attractive. Just don't be fat.


Dudes in their thirties complaining that dating is rough probably had it rough in their twenties as well.


I'm in my mid 30's and I date more women in their 20's now than I did when I was in my 20's lol. It's pretty crazy that the older I get, the more younger women I seem to attract.
Reply Quote
3
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.