Why is dating after 35 such a beating?

232,963 Views | 1575 Replies | Last: 7 mo ago by aeon-ag
pinkdog
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Chester does not help because we need to medicate with wine, xanex, and cats.
Pirate04
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AG
Stat Monitor Repairman said:

Hard to top Pirate's fat little girlfriend though.

What does this even mean?
Anchorhold
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Not you. He meant "The Pirate".

jh0400
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AG
13 pages with no appearance by Kevin Samuels. (RIP)

THE_CHOSEN_ONE
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Pirate04 said:

Stat Monitor Repairman said:

Hard to top Pirate's fat little girlfriend though.

What does this even mean?

They're talking about the Mike Leach rant, not your neck massager
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chiken
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AG
can one of the aged and successful men interested in me send a PM to arrange some bed pounding time? Momma needs a good release pronto.
Ag_N_Houston
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AG
LupinusTexensis
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Ags4DaWin said:

swimmerbabe11 said:

have any of you fine married gentlemen told your lovely wives that their stock is plummeting at an alarming rate, so that you can remind them that if they left you, that you'd be swimming in tail ten years younger than them?



If you haven't, please do so and report back on the quality of conversation that follows.


Sounds like a nerve got touched..

What tends to happen in marriages thay become unhappy is that 10 years amd 2 kids in the woman starts to take the man for granted, stops appreciating his value and this shows in how she treats him.

what she has failed to account for is that if he is an established professional on firm financial footing his value to OTHER WOMEN has increased in those ten years. Whereas his perceived value to his wife has decreased.

The man has already achieved what he was biologically driven to in the marriage (procreating) while the wife still has biological needs: companionship and support.

The woman also doesn't realjze what many of you women have complained about which further supports this: it is harder for women at 35 than it is for men especially if you have kids.

Most of the men who are suitable to help with childrearing are already doing so. This makes such men a commodity om the market. Most men at 35 don't realize how valuable they are on the open market.

That does not mean that women should grovel at their husbund's feet but what it does mean is that instead of getting progressively more shrew like in the marriage they need to realize the relative social worth of themselves versus their husband and value him in the relationship appropriately.

Because if they do not what will happen is some woman somewhere will value him according to his social value and then he is going to go where he is valued.

But how many married women worry about younger women? That is their brain subconsciously alerting them to exactly what I just outlined above.

You denigrate having that conversation, and yeah if you put it like that then the conversation is not going to go well.
About 5 years ago a switch flipped for my wife and suddenly she was actively expressing appreciation for things I did that she used to take for granted- romantic gestures I would do, me being actively involved with the kids, how much I helped around the house, etc.

A little while back I asked her why. Well two things happened in very close lroximity to each other which changed her views on our marriage.

1) We went out one nighg with a divorced friend of hers. I was friendly but overly flirty. It turned out that her friend accidentally included my wife in a text to another friend saying how she would steal me in a heartbeat and asking that friend if she she thought she could steal me from my wife.

Me being a guy hadn't noticed te fact that particular friend hadn't come around in awhile. Women swap friends sometimes.
2) Shortly after that I had a work function in which my wife watched how the 30 something women approached me. I didn't encourage anything and nothing happened but she noticed.

And then she told me those two things happeneing so close together made her realjze she needed to try harder and that she needed to protect her turf.

Based on our relationship now I would never in a million years consider leaving her. The point being: Its not hard to keep a good man even if he HAS other options. All you have to do is show him you value him as much as other women value him. The problem is that married women are not very good at appropriately valuing what they have or themselves in comparison to the alternative.

So while you laugh at alot of my positions, i have come to alot of my conclusions based on very frank information my wife and other women have given me over the last 5 years or so.


Gee your wife sounds so lucky. I hope she can keep complimenting you on hanging out with your own kids enough to keep you around.
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AggieVictor10
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Dunno if it was already mentioned and there's no way in hell am I going to read through all that mess, but online dating probably has some influence here since it's had influence on dating all up. It turned dating into more of a numbers game than it already was for both men and women, albeit in different ways - idk how you fix it.

As far as age-specific stuff, it's probably because folks in their 30s on up have a lot of **** going on in their lives and committing to a relationship is harder when you have other obligations that have long been established.

Either way, there's probably not a one-size-fits-all answer and from what I can tell, most of the people on the GB are good enough folks that they'll find someone even if it takes longer than they'd like.
BBRex
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swimmerbabe11 said:

For every story of a terrible woman, we can find one of a terrible man, and vice versa.


Sure, but for custody, the moms win almost every time. If there was a more fair way to handle that, then maybe divorce would be less attractive.
713nervy
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Butts
superunknown
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713nervy said:

Butts


let's spread the word
AggieArchitect04
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BBRex said:

swimmerbabe11 said:

For every story of a terrible woman, we can find one of a terrible man, and vice versa.


Sure, but for custody, the moms win almost every time. If there was a more fair way to handle that, then maybe divorce would be less attractive.
Unless she is cracked out giving blowies behind sonic while her kids wait in the car, mom's will always prevail as primary in joint conservatorships.

In Texas she then she gets to hit him for 20-40% of his NET income, despite making her own money and despite dad sharing time with the kiddos.

Single moms get no pity from me. You're getting enough from all your friends and yourselves.
chiken
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FYI. No one sent me anything. I am an undesired.
713nervy
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Fear InoculAg said:

ballchain said:


Quite the reaction here. A lot to unpack.

1. Don't you have a thumb that looks like a toe or something similar?
I also remember this. She posted a picture of it years ago. I think she said it looks like it does because she lets her dogs chew on it all the time or something like that.


OMG STOP BEING SO OBSESSED WITH ME

But forreal, that's an impressive memory. I used to describe my cuticles when wet as looking like a dog had been gnawing at them but it was just good old fashioned self mutilation. Not really the case anymore, thankfully.
713nervy
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Dear Ags4DaWin,

When you present statements of widespread generalizations gathered on a highly subjective topic and promote them as fact and as reality…
When you offer these things with sympathy for women and in attempt to be helpful, I make up that you truly believe these things and that you believe that you are being helpful to women.

What I hear is a man trying to tell me my worth as a woman on behalf of the billions of men on the planet - so that I can be informed that I am not worth very much. I hear that I should have stayed as hot as possible for the sake of clinging to my husband and made do with what I had, because now that I'm getting older and am no longer in my physical prime, few men are going to want me. What I hear is that you are telling me that I should have just been grateful that someone wanted me at all.

I feel terrified of you. I feel hurt for having read your posts. You are peddling messages that are very hurtful to women and to our society. You call them truths, but facts are not subjective.

What I tell myself is that if you really cared about women then you'd listen to what women have to say about their own lives, because they are the experts, not you. You'd hear women when they expressed feelings of pain and fear for the things that you're saying and reconsider whether you were really being helpful.

May you remember that "helpful" is just the sunny side of control when nobody asked for the help, and think hard before offering this kind of wisdom to women again.

Okay bye!
I am always wrong
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713nervy said:

Dear Ags4DaWin,

When you present statements of widespread generalizations gathered on a highly subjective topic and promote them as fact and as reality…
When you offer these things with sympathy for women and in attempt to be helpful, I make up that you truly believe these things and that you believe that you are being helpful to women.

What I hear is a man trying to tell me my worth as a woman on behalf of the billions of men on the planet - so that I can be informed that I am not worth very much. I hear that I should have stayed as hot as possible for the sake of clinging to my husband and made do with what I had, because now that I'm getting older and am no longer in my physical prime, few men are going to want me. What I hear is that you are telling me that I should have just been grateful that someone wanted me at all.

I feel terrified of you. I feel hurt for having read your posts. You are peddling messages that are very hurtful to women and to our society. You call them truths, but facts are not subjective.

What I tell myself is that if you really cared about women then you'd listen to what women have to say about their own lives, because they are the experts, not you. You'd hear women when they expressed feelings of pain and fear for the things that you're saying and reconsider whether you were really being helpful.

May you remember that "helpful" is just the sunny side of control when nobody asked for the help, and think hard before offering this kind of wisdom to women again.

Okay bye!



Terrified? Good lord. Grow up. Just tell him that you disagree and that he's an ******* and move on with your life. The words he posts on a message board have literally zero effect on anything in your life. This is exhibit A of why our society is in such a sad state. If you are really and truly "terrified" and "hurt" by the laughable attempts at psycho-analysis of women by some random dude on the Internet you've never met, then you have a legitimate mental health problem, and you should seek help.

For the record, I don't think you're actually terrified or hurt because that would just be ridiculously pathetic. I think you're being dramatic. But if you are, you should seek help.
Ol_Ag_02
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Ag_N_Houston said:

chiken said:

can one of the aged and successful men interested in me send a PM to arrange some bed pounding time? Momma needs a good release pronto.

Get in line behind all the hot 20 year olds. You know, the 20 year olds that date men in their 30s and 40s because they love and respect them. It has nothing do with money.


Yeah. No crap. We know it's about the money. It's been about the money since the first cave man with two clubs got to slay his way through the tribe, while all the other cavemen got left out.

It's why lion's have manes, bearded dragons have beards, and peacocks have plumage. It's all just a different currency.

You can't fight biology, it's in your DNA.
713nervy
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You're a really cool guy and I hope you do well in life. You deserve it.

(And seriously, please stop being so obsessed with me.)
swimmerbabe11
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His post was directed to me. I hadn't responded because there are just so many laughable things.

However, the summary of my thoughts are:

I really hope his wife never leaves him, so that no other girl ever has to endure dating him.
DannyDuberstein
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The over 35 damaged goods bin shall heretofore be known as the hanji-capable bin
pinkdog
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Yes, telling her that she is pathetic is very helpful at this point. Feeling hurt and terrified are not valid feelings here? Especially (as has been mentioned several times now) that MOST men think this way.

Think of some horrific things in history that came from people simply having less value than others. Think of what happens currently as a result of some people having less value than others. Look at the disabled community. I've seen first hand what happens especially with people that have intellectual disabilities/low IQ. It is absolutely horrible what happens to these people. They are "less than human" in some eyes.

If the majority of men truly feel this way, that's one thing. But we don't have to normalize it or minimize the feelings women have towards it. It's amazing how non chalant people are about dangerous ways of thinking.

It's a very different meaning to just talk about it versus seeing up close and personal what happens to people who are undervalued. Maybe you haven't seen that, but you can respect the feelings of others.
Sea Speed
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Looks like we should all strap in for what is this, round 3 of this thread?
OasisMan
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Kevin Samuels
Fresh and Fit


Know your worth Kings -- stop settling
Claude!
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Hi, Nervy. I'm currently wearing one of the Whataburger shirts you got me for Secret Santa year before last. The taffy is all gone, though.
42
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Pinochet said:

42 said:

Damn this thread got long. I always find it funny when people have to get so wordy to attempt to prove their point. I finally just had to skip to the end.

I'd just like to add that all the ladies on here are very lovely and from what I've seen would make any guy a lucky man.

This still isn't going to get her to sleep with you.

Oh, I'm well aware! I ran through my luck with TA ladies years ago.
TexasRebel
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AG
Online dating is pure trash.
Pirate04
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I must have missed that one.
GAC06
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pinkdog said:

Yes, telling her that she is pathetic is very helpful at this point. Feeling hurt and terrified are not valid feelings here? Especially (as has been mentioned several times now) that MOST men think this way.

Think of some horrific things in history that came from people simply having less value than others. Think of what happens currently as a result of some people having less value than others. Look at the disabled community. I've seen first hand what happens especially with people that have intellectual disabilities/low IQ. It is absolutely horrible what happens to these people. They are "less than human" in some eyes.

If the majority of men truly feel this way, that's one thing. But we don't have to normalize it or minimize the feelings women have towards it. It's amazing how non chalant people are about dangerous ways of thinking.

It's a very different meaning to just talk about it versus seeing up close and personal what happens to people who are undervalued. Maybe you haven't seen that, but you can respect the feelings of others.



Nobody is saying (as far as I can tell) that people have less value as human beings. They're saying single men tend to have more options at that age. And that's a fact as a general rule.

Also if it was false and silly as claimed it wouldn't be causing terror and anguish. Buck up, individual circumstances vary

And sorry for normalizing biology. Lol
42
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Jbob04
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As a long time GB lurker, this thread delivers
42
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Sadly I'm old and fat now.

But working on that fat issue, since I can't fix old.
tandy miller
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I was told at dinner I look 22… I'm 34 now, so does that mean I get an extra 12 years of dating no sucking?

Not sure if there's a conversion chart or something
FJB
 
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