Why is dating after 35 such a beating?

227,822 Views | 1575 Replies | Last: 5 mo ago by aeon-ag
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I'm thinking 20-25%.
scd88
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
So.....how about that...um....Jimbo presser? That is how you do scorched earth.
THE_CHOSEN_ONE
How long do you want to ignore this user?
scd88 said:

So.....how about that...um....Jimbo presser? That is how you do scorched earth.

What did he say?
AliasMan02
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
THE_CHOSEN_ONE said:

scd88 said:

So.....how about that...um....Jimbo presser? That is how you do scorched earth.

What did he say?

Stopped barely short of calling Saban's mother a prostitute. Hit just about everything else.
swimmerbabe11
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Sea Speed said:

There are actually several pretty damned good looking GB users which makes this board an outlier on the internet. Most online forums attractive to unattractive female ratio is like 1:10 and here its more like 1:1.


This might be the nicest thing Sea Speed has ever said on this forum!
(except about his own wife, who he always speaks incredibly highly of, which garners lots of respect from me)
EFE
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Finally figured out who sea speed is
THE_CHOSEN_ONE
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AliasMan02 said:

THE_CHOSEN_ONE said:

scd88 said:

So.....how about that...um....Jimbo presser? That is how you do scorched earth.

What did he say?

Stopped barely short of calling Saban's mother a prostitute. Hit just about everything else.

Haha, I know what I'm listening to for the next 20 mins

BBRex
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Fear InoculAg said:

jwoodmd said:

713nervy said:

Eliminatus said:

Plus trying to find a woman with no kids by this age is hard in most urban areas. Not saying kids are a deal breaker, but also, they kinda are for most. Even if they won't admit it.

For every woman with a kid, there too exists a man with a kid who probably didn't step up to take on 50/50 custody of his own child and therefore the woman is left to raise the child AND support her household while Weekend Dad gets to do whatever the hell he wants. So maybe reconsider the single woman who has a child bc she is probably a pretty capable badass and a victim of circumstance to the man who dumped his responsibility onto somebody else (her).
Will get roasted by some but I believe many will know this as well - seen too many times:

1. Mom wants to use kids a pawn to screw over ex
2. Claims time with dad is not good for kids
3. Mom fights for sole custody even though dad is good father and willing to fully co-parent
4. Mom goes crazy anytime kids say positive things about dad, or, heaven forbid, are close to dad
5. Mom tries everything to estrange kids from father
6. Mom then plays victim and *****es with friends about how father doesn't help and she has to be a single parent with all the burden.

Yes, there are many deadbeat dads, but lots of dads get screwed over by vengeful ex using kids as pawns.

Disclaimer: never divorced, have kids, 25 years married with successful wife.


This is 100000% accurate. To a freaking T.

I am not a divorce lawyer, but I have had to be involved in a number of divorces for clients on the business side as part of my law practice. In EVERY SINGLE ONE of them, the wife and her divorce lawyer went all in on points 1 through 3 that you listed. Tried to make it look like the dad is a terrible and "emotionally abusive" parent and should have limited possession of the kids. Like "he got really angry and through the remote control one time when the baby was nearby" or "he told our son that he wasn't acting like a man" or some bull**** like that. It's always made-up allegations of emotional abuse by the wife, because made-up allegations of physical abuse are too easy to disprove with empirical evidence or lack thereof.

I can think of one where my client fought all the way through trial and got expanded standard possession, which is like 47%, but the wife still had the right to designate the kids' primary residence. But in almost all of these cases, my clients (who were the husbands) ended up throwing up their hands and basically saying "fine, I love the kids and I want to be involved, but have it your way. Life is too short." This is very common. Women are so emotional that they can't see even 5 years down the road when they are going to bearing the entire burden of raising the kids just because they wanted so bad to stick it to their husbands during the divorce. There are some deadbeat dads, but in my experience there are many more vindictive, angry women.


A buddy of mine married and had a few kids with a woman who turned out to be a cheating hoar. She put him through hell before and during the divorce, and she still wound up with the kids and his paycheck. And he probably loves those kids more than life itself and would have taken better care of them than their hoar mom.
swimmerbabe11
How long do you want to ignore this user?
For every story of a terrible woman, we can find one of a terrible man, and vice versa.
Ags4DaWin
How long do you want to ignore this user?
713nervy said:

Eliminatus said:

Plus trying to find a woman with no kids by this age is hard in most urban areas. Not saying kids are a deal breaker, but also, they kinda are for most. Even if they won't admit it.

For every woman with a kid, there too exists a man with a kid who probably didn't step up to take on 50/50 custody of his own child and therefore the woman is left to raise the child AND support her household while Weekend Dad gets to do whatever the hell he wants. So maybe reconsider the single woman who has a child bc she is probably a pretty capable badass and a victim of circumstance to the man who dumped his responsibility onto somebody else (her).


Their are huge difficulties for men dating a woman with kids.

1) Alot of times women will not allow the guy to parent. They tell the guy: You tell me what the kid did and I will take care of it. This cuts the guy's legs out from underneath him and emasculates him.
2) Single women with kids tend to approach marriage from the perspective of: This is the area of my life I need to be independent in and this is the area of my life we can collaborate in. This does not create a successful partnership. You have to be willing to collaborate in all areas. This is an understandable reaction to their previous divorce or deadbeat dad but it does not create an environment in which the incoming man has a partner he can count on..
3) When the chips are down the woman will ALWAYS choose her kids over you. Understandable but it puts the guy in a difficult position when he knows he will always play second fiddle. This is a result of maternal bodning, chemicals, and evolution and something guys who are married have to contend with as well and which many women and men manage poorly. However guys who are marrying or dating a SM there is no shared history which predates her maternal bond to her kids so she will always be predisposed to choose her kids over him even when it is detrimental to do so.

So generally speaking SM are more difficult to have relationships with and marry.

Regarding the custody issue there are deadbeats and there are guys that get screwed by the system as custody favors the mom amd there are situations where because mom has sole custody and she is actively trying to take the kids away from the father he just gives up.

not sure what i would say the percentages are, but i would say there are plenty of guys that want to be there. the guys who will be a deadbeat usually give off signs they will be a deadbeat before the marriage and once again that comes down to partner choice.

that being said the deadbeats are worthless POS and deserve to be publicly ridiculed and himiliated and flogged for abandoning their kids.

The point i am making this is that alot of sibgle mom's are justifiably proud of being independent and kicking ass on their own. However when a guy is looking for prospective partners there is alot of extra difficulty, hassel, complicagions, and work that goes into not only dating but marrying a single mom.

And the guys that take this on, because mom is more loyal to her kids than the guy justifiably feel neglected, and unappreciated.

So as a guy, why would you actively seek out such an arrangement when there are relationships that are easier to navigate and in which you will be more appreciated out there?
Stat Monitor Repairman
How long do you want to ignore this user?
THE_CHOSEN_ONE said:

AliasMan02 said:

THE_CHOSEN_ONE said:

scd88 said:

So.....how about that...um....Jimbo presser? That is how you do scorched earth.

What did he say?

Stopped barely short of calling Saban's mother a prostitute. Hit just about everything else.

Haha, I know what I'm listening to for the next 20 mins


Damn, he mad.
ThunderCougarFalconBird
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Hydrocele_aggie said:

GunRangeGal said:

This thread reeks of men who have been rejected by a woman over 35.


This thread reeks of women whom think they are way hotter than they really are.
Lots of women on this thread have been watching too much Afternoon Yak:

chiken
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
SWCBonfire said:

Recently divorced 45 year old male reading this thread

Oh hello! You're apparently my demographic now!! Wanna bump uglies?
swimmerbabe11
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Strong "I'm a man, I'm 40" vibes.
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Most famous rant ever by a football coach!
Stat Monitor Repairman
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Hard to top Pirate's fat little girlfriend though.
Sea Speed
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
My wife is the strongest,hottest, nicest, coolest, most beautiful kind and compassionate and amazing wife, person, friend and mother on the planet. She gets a blue diamond. My family and I would quote literally cease to function without her.
swimmerbabe11
How long do you want to ignore this user?
I didn't like Leach more because of that rant though. I liked Gundy much more because of his. I've never believed so hard that a coach would literally fall on a bomb for his players than I did Gundy in that moment.
swimmerbabe11
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Sea Speed said:

My wife is the strongest,hottest, nicest, coolest, most beautiful kind and compassionate and amazing wife, person, friend and mother on the planet. She gets a blue diamond. My family and I would quote literally cease to function without her.

I meant it. If every person talked about their spouse and showed the level of appreciation towards their significant other that you do, divorce rates would be cut to nothing.
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
swimmerbabe11 said:

I didn't like Leach more because of that rant though. I liked Gundy much more because of his. I've never believed so hard that a coach would literally fall on a bomb for his players than I did Gundy in that moment.

He certainly did. The dude just went off like a cannon. That was in fact Gundy who made the famous "I'm a man, I'm 40!" speech.
Sea Speed
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
I know you did, I was just repeating my thoughts for those in the back.
Claude!
How long do you want to ignore this user?
swimmerbabe11 said:

oh also, I would like to report that when I was on this site at 16, the same conversations were being had, but the bar was set at 30, not 35. So, ladies, congratulations we all got a few extra years grace period.
When I was 16, my family had just gotten America Online.
Green2Maroon
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Green2Maroon said:

I can recall one that stood out back in 2012. Went on one date with her and really wanted to like her. Very solid girl with an outstanding background and good personality. I think she was about my age at the time, 28. I probably should have given her more of a chance than I did, I just didn't feel like we hit it off or really had a connection. Again though, she was definitely an all around fine individual indeed.

It is quite possible that I would have fallen in love with this girl at 28 and married her at maybe 30 if I had been a bit more mature and aware of such a fine opportunity.
SWCBonfire
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
chiken said:

SWCBonfire said:

Recently divorced 45 year old male reading this thread

Oh hello! You're apparently my demographic now!! Wanna bump uglies?


Once worked with a guy that was nicknamed because he once got foul with a fowl when excessively inebriated as a teenager... 40 years later he's still "Chicken ___".
tandy miller
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Tanya 93 said:

Hydrocele_aggie said:

GunRangeGal said:

This thread reeks of men who have been rejected by a woman over 35.


This thread reeks of women whom think they are way hotter than they really are.
But GRG is really hot



This may be the only time I've ever agreed w Tanya
FJB
Ags4DaWin
How long do you want to ignore this user?
swimmerbabe11 said:

have any of you fine married gentlemen told your lovely wives that their stock is plummeting at an alarming rate, so that you can remind them that if they left you, that you'd be swimming in tail ten years younger than them?



If you haven't, please do so and report back on the quality of conversation that follows.


Sounds like a nerve got touched..

What tends to happen in marriages thay become unhappy is that 10 years amd 2 kids in the woman starts to take the man for granted, stops appreciating his value and this shows in how she treats him.

what she has failed to account for is that if he is an established professional on firm financial footing his value to OTHER WOMEN has increased in those ten years. Whereas his perceived value to his wife has decreased.

The man has already achieved what he was biologically driven to in the marriage (procreating) while the wife still has biological needs: companionship and support.

The woman also doesn't realjze what many of you women have complained about which further supports this: it is harder for women at 35 than it is for men especially if you have kids.

Most of the men who are suitable to help with childrearing are already doing so. This makes such men a commodity om the market. Most men at 35 don't realize how valuable they are on the open market.

That does not mean that women should grovel at their husbund's feet but what it does mean is that instead of getting progressively more shrew like in the marriage they need to realize the relative social worth of themselves versus their husband and value him in the relationship appropriately.

Because if they do not what will happen is some woman somewhere will value him according to his social value and then he is going to go where he is valued.

But how many married women worry about younger women? That is their brain subconsciously alerting them to exactly what I just outlined above.

You denigrate having that conversation, and yeah if you put it like that then the conversation is not going to go well.
About 5 years ago a switch flipped for my wife and suddenly she was actively expressing appreciation for things I did that she used to take for granted- romantic gestures I would do, me being actively involved with the kids, how much I helped around the house, etc.

A little while back I asked her why. Well two things happened in very close lroximity to each other which changed her views on our marriage.

1) We went out one nighg with a divorced friend of hers. I was friendly but overly flirty. It turned out that her friend accidentally included my wife in a text to another friend saying how she would steal me in a heartbeat and asking that friend if she she thought she could steal me from my wife.

Me being a guy hadn't noticed te fact that particular friend hadn't come around in awhile. Women swap friends sometimes.
2) Shortly after that I had a work function in which my wife watched how the 30 something women approached me. I didn't encourage anything and nothing happened but she noticed.

And then she told me those two things happeneing so close together made her realjze she needed to try harder and that she needed to protect her turf.

Based on our relationship now I would never in a million years consider leaving her. The point being: Its not hard to keep a good man even if he HAS other options. All you have to do is show him you value him as much as other women value him. The problem is that married women are not very good at appropriately valuing what they have or themselves in comparison to the alternative.

So while you laugh at alot of my positions, i have come to alot of my conclusions based on very frank information my wife and other women have given me over the last 5 years or so.
Sea Speed
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
What did Saban say that got jimbo all twisted?
swimmerbabe11
How long do you want to ignore this user?
that he bought every single player on his team
tandy miller
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Sea Speed said:

What did Saban say that got jimbo all twisted?


That women lose social value after 35
FJB
boy09
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Ags4DaWin said:

swimmerbabe11 said:

have any of you fine married gentlemen told your lovely wives that their stock is plummeting at an alarming rate, so that you can remind them that if they left you, that you'd be swimming in tail ten years younger than them?



If you haven't, please do so and report back on the quality of conversation that follows.


Sounds like a nerve got touched..

What tends to happen in marriages thay become unhappy is that 10 years amd 2 kids in the woman starts to take the man for granted, stops appreciating his value and this shows in how she treats him.

what she has failed to account for is that if he is an established professional on firm financial footing his value to OTHER WOMEN has increased in those ten years. Whereas his perceived value to his wife has decreased.

The man has already achieved what he was biologically driven to in the marriage (procreating) while the wife still has biological needs: companionship and support.

The woman also doesn't realjze what many of you women have complained about which further supports this: it is harder for women at 35 than it is for men especially if you have kids.

Most of the men who are suitable to help with childrearing are already doing so. This makes such men a commodity om the market. Most men at 35 don't realize how valuable they are on the open market.

That does not mean that women should grovel at their husbund's feet but what it does mean is that instead of getting progressively more shrew like in the marriage they need to realize the relative social worth of themselves versus their husband and value him in the relationship appropriately.

Because if they do not what will happen is some woman somewhere will value him according to his social value and then he is going to go where he is valued.

But how many married women worry about younger women? That is their brain subconsciously alerting them to exactly what I just outlined above.

You denigrate having that conversation, and yeah if you put it like that then the conversation is not going to go well.
About 5 years ago a switch flipped for my wife and suddenly she was actively expressing appreciation for things I did that she used to take for granted- romantic gestures I would do, me being actively involved with the kids, how much I helped around the house, etc.

A little while back I asked her why. Well two things happened in very close lroximity to each other which changed her views on our marriage.

1) We went out one nighg with a divorced friend of hers. I was friendly but overly flirty. It turned out that her friend accidentally included my wife in a text to another friend saying how she would steal me in a heartbeat and asking that friend if she she thought she could steal me from my wife.

Me being a guy hadn't noticed te fact that particular friend hadn't come around in awhile. Women swap friends sometimes.
2) Shortly after that I had a work function in which my wife watched how the 30 something women approached me. I didn't encourage anything and nothing happened but she noticed.

And then she told me those two things happeneing so close together made her realjze she needed to try harder and that she needed to protect her turf.

Based on our relationship now I would never in a million years consider leaving her. The point being: Its not hard to keep a good man even if he HAS other options. All you have to do is show him you value him as much as other women value him. The problem is that married women are not very good at appropriately valuing what they have or themselves in comparison to the alternative.

So while you laugh at alot of my positions, i have come to alot of my conclusions based on very frank information my wife and other women have given me over the last 5 years or so.
Stat Monitor Repairman
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Quote:

1) We went out one nighg with a divorced friend of hers. I was friendly but overly flirty. It turned out that her friend accidentally included my wife in a text to another friend saying how she would steal me in a heartbeat and asking that friend if she she thought she could steal me from my wife.
Man, thats wild.
concac
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
Your wife needs to get laid.
jwoodmd
How long do you want to ignore this user?
Sea Speed said:

My wife is the strongest,hottest, nicest, coolest, most beautiful kind and compassionate and amazing wife, person, friend and mother on the planet. She gets a blue diamond. My family and I would quote literally cease to function without her.
Watch your back - you are ripe to get bumped off.
AggieArchitect04
How long do you want to ignore this user?
AG
OP here.

Just sitting back admiring my work with starting this thread.


Serious Lee
How long do you want to ignore this user?
if your goal was to draw out the feminists, atheists, and incels of texags, then tip of the cap to you sir/ma'am/xhe.
 
×
subscribe Verify your student status
See Subscription Benefits
Trial only available to users who have never subscribed or participated in a previous trial.