has it been broughten!?

I'd say you definitely brought it.

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I'm also racist against morons and cats

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I'm only racist against baylor and Pittsburgh. I also maintain a moderate amount of bigotry against people with PhDs who insist on being called "doctor."

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So a second friend has told me they are in an open marriage. The first couple was always a bit out there so wasn't a surprise. The second couple is closer to "normal" so more of a surprise.

I am not married so I was seeing what the married folks thought?

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I may have missed it I guess, but does anyone else think OP was low key being propositioned/evaluated by her open friends? What say you OP? You down for OPD or OPP?

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Open "marriages" are just one form of the vast perversion of marriage as God intends for it to be. It is an absolute fallacy and a joke. In fact, it is not a marriage at all. It is a continuous cycle of adultery that in no way leads to a genuinely fulfilling marriage.

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While I respect your view as it relates to Christainity, and I would ask you start a new thread on the Religion board. If I wanted to debate the religious aspects of open marriage I would do it on that board, not the general board.

I didn't make this thread to call anyone out for being in an open marriage. I was simply asking more about what everyone's view was since I now know two couples who have embraced this lifestyle.

I will say that I do not know if both are very strong relationships as that's not really any of my business.

I realize that this a personal lifestyle choice for these couples and I have no room to judge them as I can't even hold onto a boyfriend.

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If you asked for everyone's view...and his view is that it is a perversion of marriage...doesn't it still belong on this thread?

Or did you only want happy go lucky "everythnig goes" moral relativist answers? Cause you should have mentioned that in the OP.

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Well had he left it at that I wouldn't have said anything. Instead it turn into a Christianity debate for a bit. I would have posted on the Religion board if I wanted pages of arguments about open marriage and religion. As it turns out he stopped and discussion of other views continued.

Anyhow keep debating I don't care at this point. My question was answered.

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So a second friend has told me they are in an open marriage. The first couple was always a bit out there so wasn't a surprise. The second couple is closer to "normal" so more of a surprise.

I am not married so I was seeing what the married folks thought?

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I may have missed it I guess, but does anyone else think OP was low key being propositioned/evaluated by her open friends? What say you OP? You down for OPD or OPP?

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I said I was asked a few years ago by one of the couple's but I declined. It really doesn't interest me and seems like a ton of effort to make it work. When the second couple told me, that prompted my post.

The first couple has what I see as a strong marriage, but the second couple doesn't, but again their relationship and I only know limited information.

Often tough to judge a marriage based on its outward persona. We've had close personal friends that we thought were rock solid suddenly announce a divorce, then learn afterwards how messed up things were. People are pretty good chameleons, especially troubled people.

Not saying your friends are troubled, just saying that it can be hard to say for sure.

No I asked you for the names of the ones who you whete claiming violated patient confidentiality..... but don't let facts get in the way

Yeah, cause my fianc and I where open , have friends with healthy open or polly relationships, no way more about the lifestyle than most om the boards.....completely irrelevant, at all.

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Often tough to judge a marriage based on its outward persona. We've had close personal friends that we thought were rock solid suddenly announce a divorce, then learn afterwards how messed up things were. People are pretty good chameleons, especially troubled people.

Not saying your friends are troubled, just saying that it can be hard to say for sure.

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Definitely. They could both have troubled marriages, but I only know for sure in one of them. I will wear rose colored glasses for the other relationship and hope everything is okay.

This is an interesting discussion. Too bad Mr. Ginger bowed out like that because I think he makes a lot of assumptions as well

Polyamory has nothing to do with with unshackling from a repressive society, an enlightened and open minded world view, or the need for some social revolution. Basically, Mr. Ginger is just a liberal guy who happens to be polyamorous

Polyamory has nothing to do with political affiliation or philosophy. It transcends the political spectrum, and has been around as long as humans have

He is right --- There are as many models for polyamory as there are those who live that lifestyle. What works for some, may not work for others, and yes, it may not work at all for some people... it isn't for everybody...

I know many couples who live this lifestyle, and I got news for people on this board --- so do you. You just don't know it

The ones I know FOR THE MOST PART are politically conservative, vote republican, are pro life, go to church, are in happy, healthy marriages, have kids, work, support their families, and generally do what everybody else does. They are soccer moms, professionals, football fans, hunters, golfers, beer drinkers, whatever.

They hangout with each other, are friends, associate socially, show up and leave with their spouses at most events, and the only stop on the way home is to pick up milk for the kids' cereal the next morning. They don't talk about sex at their outings to a bar, restaurant, football game, etc., and most in the group have not slept with each other, though some have.

They communicate well with their spouses, know where the other is, and who they are with. They talk before and after an experience outside the marriage.

Some are into wild stuff. Some basically have one couple that they are friends with and occasionally switch... There are a million different models.

They usually have rules and boundaries, and they talk, talk, TALK with one another...

Most I know are middle aged with grown kids, some are empty nesters, etc who are on their only marriage and have been married for double-digit years. Some I know have been married for 25-30 years. They love their spouses above all else, just wanted something new in their lives -- a new experience, a new excitement -- that does not replace their spouse, but simply adds an element to their lives

When it doesn't work, it's almost ALWAYS because both parties were not on board in the first place, and one was dragged into it under an ultimatum. But here's what you might not expect --- most "polyamorous" marriages that I know DO work... Most are committed to their "primary" (spouse), while anybody else is secondary. They are normal people, who lead normal lives in all other respects... They just have that in common.

People think what they want. And that's OK. But understand that it IS out there, you likely DO know a couple or couples who live this way, and they are not as miserable or screwed up as you think they should be. It isn't for everybody, but it can be a very nice, very sweet addition to a happy marriage, and happy life, especially as people grow older, grow more comfortable in their relationships, trust one another, and above all, communicate...

It's not as bad as you think

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Thanks for sharing but I think you're projecting a bit.

The relationships you just described are pretty rare.

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Thanks for the comment, Rusty

I don't know what percentage of adults live a polyamorous lifestyle. It is probably next to impossible to determine with any degree of accuracy

What I'm saying is within the circles I know, the personas are predominately very normal people, married, with families, that, with knowledge and consent of their spouses, have relations outside of marriage, AND the practice is fully mutual...

I would say the most common model BY FAR involve a primary partner, usually the spouse, and secondary partners, ie partners who do not make decisions in the primary partnership, do not share finances, etc... the secondaries could be short term NSA partners, or could be people with which a continuing relationship exists...

Admittedly, my circles are older couples (40's and 50's) whose secondary relationships vary in nature, but who otherwise lead regular, normal lives. ALL are married, and NONE to my knowledge are in strained marriages.. ALL secondary relationships are with the full knowledge and consent of the primary (spouse), and BOTH spouses are polymorous. Again, within my circles...

But I can say with confidence that, while it may be a low percentage of the population as a whole, it is higher than you think, and more than likely you DO know people who live like this. You just don't realize it... it was definitely an eye opener for me

I honestly believe you that the poly people are normal. I believe it works for them but they're marriages aren't as perfect as the Poly's on this thread claim. But I get that if they hinted at one tiny problem ever it would be blown out of proportion.

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I honestly believe you that the poly people are normal. I believe it works for them but they're marriages aren't as perfect as the Poly's on this thread claim. But I get that if they hinted at one tiny problem ever it would be blown out of proportion.

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Excellent point, Rusty

Polyamorous people are just like anybody else. Polyamorous people are happy, sad, angry, jealous, healthy, sick, ... whatever

They have the same life problems and imperfections as everyone else...

What I can say is AMONG THOSE THAT WORK, spousal communication is key, and I have observed, every bit as good, perhaps BETTER among polyamores than monogamous couples.. it HAS to be good....and when it does work, which it DOES in my circles, it is part of fulfilling life that enriches the primary relationship, and can make it better and more exciting, especially in middle age years and beyond

But you are correct... no marriage is perfect, and as I have said, it is NOT for everyone

I will say that I disagree about the slightest mistep... as long as it does not involve deceit or betrayal, it usually can be fixed.. cheating is cheating, poly or not

Polymorphism

approve

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All married people are miserable, polyamorous or monogamous. It's just a contest to see who can be less miserable.

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I'm sorry you have that outlook of marriage, but it just is not true.

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All married people are miserable, polyamorous or monogamous. It's just a contest to see who can be less miserable.

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I'm sorry you have that outlook of marriage, but it just is not true.

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Lol. He was kidding.. I think... it's a Kinky Friedman thing

So as an update the couple that recently announced they were in an open marriage are now separated.

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So as an update the couple that recently announced they were in an open marriage are now separated.

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So as an update the couple that recently announced they were in an open marriage are now separated.

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How do they rank against each other in terms of attractiveness?

I would say they are well suited for each other/about equal. The wife had the edge in the beginning, but they both gained weight through her two pregnancies.

i get a little suspicious of happy marriages that claim to be 100% monogamous, tbh

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If both consent, why does anyone care if people have an Open Marriage?

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Don't think anybody cares but you can discuss the merits of it.

If those two crazy kids can't make it then I don't think there's any hope for me