Just kidding, I know it's wrong and US odds are better than that. I had found a US one a few years back but the above is all I could find earlier today. Just came across the right one though. I'll report back in 1000 years.

You'd think it could give me the results instantly but it actually runs through all the numbers. I guess so you can watch it and feel defeated as you never win.

Saw this on Reddit. I don't know what I'd do.

WOW

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Saw this on Reddit. I don't know what I'd do.

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I'd be sick. To think you were that close.

Photo shopped. If you can zoom into the 35. You can see that it was pasted on there. I'm betting the other numbers were too.

http://powerball-simulator.com/

Two tickets a week for 1000 years resulted in my largest winning ticket $10,000 and net loss $180,582. Plus, I probably died somewhere in there.

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http://powerball-simulator.com/

Two tickets a week for 1000 years resulted in my largest winning ticket $10,000 and net loss $180,582. Plus, I probably died somewhere in there.

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I ran it for a full day and night and it took over 40,000 years just to win $1,000,000. Didn't even get the stinking jackpot.

[url=http://s1355.photobucket.com/user/sitdownrando/media/TexAgs/Screen%20Shot%202016-01-10%20at%201.00.06%20PM_zpsapsmaqn8.png.html][/url]

And hell yes I'm buying tickets for Wednesday's drawing like the rest of you losers.

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Saw this on Reddit. I don't know what I'd do.

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You wouldn't be CashinOut that's for sure.

I'm starting to think winning the $1.3 billion isn't worth the effort. Seems like it'd be a big hassle.

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Saw this on Reddit. I don't know what I'd do.

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Well, I tell you what I'd do. I'd throw away that ticket, since it didn't win.

And do a better photoshop job.

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Saw this on Reddit. I don't know what I'd do.

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Even overlooking the photoshop, this isn't close at all. The guy didn't hit a single number. Close would have been hitting everything and missing the powerball.

That would have still paid the guy 50k. Him missing every number by 1 is funny and close.

And yes, Photoshop

It's Photoshopped, but I've seen it happen. When Lotto Texas first came out, my dad missed every single number by one digit. He was pissed.

If I won the lottery, I would want to sleep on freshly laundered sheets every night.

I wouldn't say that's close at all. It's a weird coincidence every number was one off, but not close to winning. Having 5 numbers would be close. Though that still gets you a million, so not a bad deal. But it's no 900 million. I'd gladly take the mil, but can't say I wouldn't be pissed. A million wouldn't change my current lifestyle, just fund my kids' college and my retirement. 900million is a completely new lifestyle.

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That would have still paid the guy 50k. Him missing every number by 1 is funny and close.

And yes, Photoshop

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$1,000,000.

4 plus powerball is the $50k

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That would have still paid the guy 50k. Him missing every number by 1 is funny and close.

And yes, Photoshop

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$1,000,000.

4 plus powerball is the $50k

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True....got them mixed up.

I read the reddit post on "what to do if you win lottery" the night of the drawing, and I spent the next 3 hours hoping that I did not have a winning ticket. No way to be anonymous in Texas. You'd be ****ed over nicely, even with a solid plan in place.

Why do you folks think such bad things would happen to someone that one? Other than family/"friends" coming out of the wood work for awhile, I don't see how this would inconvenience someone that bad.

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I read the reddit post on "what to do if you win lottery" the night of the drawing, and I spent the next 3 hours hoping that I did not have a winning ticket. No way to be anonymous in Texas. You'd be ****ed over nicely, even with a solid plan in place.

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You can setup a trust in Texas and stay anonymous.

I thought you couldn't claim it through a trust in TX. I didn't research it that much. Obviously I would have employed someone with a ridiculous hourly rate to figure it out for me if I won.

Did you read the Reddit link I posted?

I hear Talon needs some more billable hours

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Did you read the Reddit link I posted?

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Repost. I'm too lazy to search

I'm so excited to get $1.3 billion worth of pudding this weekend!

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I thought you couldn't claim it through a trust in TX. I didn't research it that much. Obviously I would have employed someone with a ridiculous hourly rate to figure it out for me if I won.

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Check on this list of past winners on the powerball.com website:
http://www.powerball.com/powerball/pb_stories.asp

At the bottom of the 2015 list is a trust in Texas

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Did you read the Reddit link I posted?

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Of course not.

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Why do you folks think such bad things would happen to someone that one? Other than family/"friends" coming out of the wood work for awhile, I don't see how this would inconvenience someone that bad.

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People who win the lottery often make poor financial decisions and trust the wrong people with their money. You might win the lottery and decide to visit a reputable attorney and a financial planner to protect yourself and your newfound wealth and figure out a plan with what you want to do with your money. A day laborer named Mortimer would probably be less likely to take those steps, not because he's stupid, but because he just doesn't have the education to make those sorts of decisions.

Excellent. I will hope for victory next time instead of the opposite, so I'm sure to not run out of time... urrr, pick all of the right numbers this next time.

You can set up a trust for now in Texas but there are powers that be that are trying to do away with that.

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You can set up a trust for now in Texas but there are powers that be that are trying to do away with that.

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As long as they don't do away with it before Wednesday...

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Congratulations! You just won millions of dollars in the lottery! That's great.
Now you're ****ed.
No really.
You are.
You're ****ed.
If you just want to skip the biographical tales of woe of some of the math-tax protagonists, skip on down to the next comment. To see what to do in the event you win the lottery.
You see, it's something of an open secret that winners of obnoxiously large jackpots tend to end up badly with alarming regularity. Not the $1 million dollar winners. But anyone in the nine-figure range is at high risk. Eight-figures? Pretty likely to be screwed. Seven-figures? Yep. Painful. Perhaps this is a consequence of the sample. The demographics of lottery players might be exactly the wrong people to win large sums of money. Or perhaps money is the root of all evil. Either way, you are going to have to be careful. Don't believe me? Consider this:
Large jackpot winners face double digit multiples of probability versus the general population to be the victim of:
Homicide (something like 20x more likely)
Drug overdose
Bankruptcy (how's that for irony?)
Kidnapping
And triple digit multiples of probability versus the general population rate to be:
Convicted of drunk driving
The victim of Homicide (at the hands of a family member) 120x more likely in this case, ain't love grand?
A defendant in a civil lawsuit
A defendant in felony criminal proceedings
Believe it or not, your biggest enemy if you suddenly become possessed of large sums of money is... you. At least you will have the consolation of meeting your fate by your own hand. But if you can't manage it on your own, don't worry. There are any number of willing participants ready to help you start your vicious downward spiral for you. Mind you, many of these will be "friends," "friendly neighbors," or "family." Often, they won't even have evil intentions. But, as I'm sure you know, that makes little difference in the end. Most aren't evil. Most aren't malicious. Some are. None are good for you.
Jack Whittaker, a Johnny Cash attired, West Virginia native, is the poster boy for the dangers of a lump sum award. In 2002 Mr. Whittaker (55 years old at the time) won what was, also at the time, the largest single award jackpot in U.S. history. $315 million. At the time, he planned to live as if nothing had changed, or so he said. He was remarkably modest and decent before the jackpot, and his ship sure came in, right? Wrong.
Mr. Whittaker became the subject of a number of personal challenges, escalating into personal tragedies, complicated by a number of legal troubles.
Whittaker wasn't a typical lottery winner either. His net worth at the time of his winnings was in excess of $15 million, owing to his ownership of a successful contracting firm in West Virginia. His claim to want to live "as if nothing had changed" actually seemed plausible. He should have been well equipped for wealth. He was already quite wealthy, after all. By all accounts he was somewhat modest, low profile, generous and good natured. He should have coasted off into the sunset. Yeah. Not exactly.
Whittaker took the all-cash option, $170 million, instead of the annuity option, and took possession of $114 million in cash after $56 million in taxes. After that, things went south.
Whittaker quickly became the subject of a number of financial stalkers, who would lurk at his regular breakfast hideout and accost him with suggestions for how to spend his money. They were unemployed. No, an interview tomorrow morning wasn't good enough. They needed cash NOW. Perhaps they had a sure-fire business plan. Their daughter had cancer. A niece needed dialysis. Needless to say, Whittaker stopped going to his breakfast haunt. Eventually, they began ringing his doorbell. Sometimes in the early morning. Before long he was paying off-duty deputies to protect his family. He was accused of being heartless. Cold. Stingy.
Letters poured in. Children with cancer. Diabetes. MS. You name it. He hired three people to sort the mail. A detective to filter out the false claims and the con men (and women) was retained.
Brenda, the clerk who had sold Whittaker the ticket, was a victim of collateral damage. Whittaker had written her a check for $44,000 and bought her house, but she was by no means a millionaire. Rumors that the state routinely paid the clerk who had sold the ticket 10% of the jackpot winnings hounded her. She was followed home from work. Threatened. Assaulted.
Whittaker's car was twice broken into, by trusted acquaintances who watched him leave large amounts of cash in it. $500,000 and $200,000 were stolen in two separate instances. The thieves spiked Whittaker's drink with prescription drugs in the first instance. The second incident was the handiwork of his granddaughter's friends, who had been probing the girl for details on Whittaker's cash for weeks.
Even Whittaker's good-faith generosity was questioned. When he offered $10,000 to improve the city's water park so that it was more handicap accessible, locals complained that he spent more money at the strip club. (Amusingly this was true).
Whittaker invested quite a bit in his own businesses, tripled the number of people his businesses employed (making him one of the larger employers in the area) and eventually had given away $14 million to charity through a foundation he set up for the purpose. This is, of course, what you are "supposed" to do. Set up a foundation. Be careful about your charity giving. It made no difference in the end.
To top it all off, Whittaker had been accused of ruining a number of marriages. His money made other men look inferior, they said, wherever he went in the small West Virginia town he called home. Resentment grew quickly. And festered. Whittaker paid four settlements related to this sort of claim. Yes, you read that right. Four.
His family and their immediate circle were quickly the victims of odds-defying numbers of overdoses, emergency room visits and even fatalities. His granddaughter, the eighteen year old "Brandi" (who Whittaker had been giving a $2100.00 per week allowance) was found dead after having been missing for several weeks. Her death was, apparently, from a drug overdose, but Whittaker suspected foul play. Her body had been wrapped in a tarp and hidden behind a rusted-out van. Her seventeen year old boyfriend had expired three months earlier in Whittaker's vacation house, also from an overdose. Some of his friends had robbed the house after his overdose, stepping over his body to make their escape and then returning for more before stepping over his body again to leave. His parents sued for wrongful death claiming that Whittaker's loose purse strings contributed to their son's death. Amazingly, juries are prone to award damages in cases such as these. Whittaker settled. Again.
Even before the deaths, the local and state police had taken a special interest in Whittaker after his new-found fame. He was arrested for minor and less minor offenses many times after his winnings, despite having had a nearly spotless record before the award. Whittaker's high profile couldn't have helped him much in this regard.
In 18 months Whittaker had been cited for over 250 violations ranging from broken tail lights on every one of his five new cars, to improper display of renewal stickers. A lawsuit charging various police organizations with harassment went nowhere and Whittaker was hit with court costs instead.
Whittaker's wife filed for divorce, and in the process froze a number of his assets and the accounts of his operating companies. Caesars in Atlantic City sued him for $1.5 million to cover bounced checks, caused by the asset freeze.
Today Whittaker is badly in debt, and bankruptcy looms large in his future.
But, hey, that's just one example, right?
Wrong.
Nearly one third of multi-million dollar jackpot winners eventually declare bankruptcy. Some end up worse. To give you just a taste of the possibilities, consider the fates of:
Billie Bob Harrell, Jr.: $31 million. Texas, 1997. As of 1999: Committed suicide in the wake of incessant requests for money from friends and family. "Winning the lottery is the worst thing that ever happened to me.
William Bud Post: $16.2 million. Pennsylvania. 1988. In 1989: Brother hires a contract murderer to kill him and his sixth wife. Landlady sued for portion of the jackpot. Convicted of assault for firing a gun at a debt collector. Declared bankruptcy. Dead in 2006.
Evelyn Adams: $5.4 million (won TWICE 1985, 1986). As of 2001: Poor and living in a trailer gave away and gambled most of her fortune.
Suzanne Mullins: $4.2 million. Virginia. 1993. As of 2004: No assets left.
Shefik Tallmadge: $6.7 million. Arizona. 1988. As of 2005: Declared bankruptcy.
Thomas Strong: $3 million. Texas. 1993. As of 2006: Died in a shoot-out with police.
Victoria Zell: $11 million. 2001. Minnesota. As of 2006: Broke. Serving seven year sentence for vehicular manslaughter.
Karen Cohen: $1 million. Illinois. 1984. As of 2000: Filed for bankruptcy. As of 2006: Sentenced to 22 months for lying to federal bankruptcy court.
Jeffrey Dampier: $20 million. Illinois. 1996. As of 2006: Kidnapped and murdered by own sister-in-law.
Ed Gildein: $8.8 million. Texas. 1993. As of 2003: Dead. Wife saddled with his debts. As of 2005: Wife sued by her own daughter who claimed that she was taking money from a trust fund and squandering cash in Las Vegas.
Willie Hurt: $3.1 million. Michigan. 1989. As of 1991: Addicted to cocaine. Divorced. Broke. Indicted for murder.
Michael Klingebiel: $2 million. As of 1998 sued by own mother claiming he failed to share the jackpot with her.
Janite Lee: $18 million. 1993. Missouri. As of 2001: Filed for bankruptcy with $700 in assets.
EDIT: Continued below due to character limit

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https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vo34/whats_the_happiest_5word_sentence_you_could_hear/chb4v05?context=3

After that the comment or delves into what to do after you win.

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https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vo34/whats_the_happiest_5word_sentence_you_could_hear/chb4v05?context=3

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Because sometime asked for the link.

So if 293 people each bought 1,000,000 tickets and coordinated to eliminate duplicate entries... You'd win. Split the pot 293 ways, and each walk off with $4,000,000.