Here is my 2 cents.
I was a business major and had to deal with everyone being in a frat of sorority.
Once I got to know most of my classmates we became friends, and 98% of the frat people were nice to me, really nice actually.
But it was hard to meet them because they would just include each other,(This does happen with everyone though, you get a set of friends and it gets to the point that you really don't include anyone else, so can't blame them really.)
I have been to several frat parties and they are not any cooler than any other parties, however I have met some of the biggest a-holes ever at these parties.
I think because people pay to get in and that it at first is a forced friendship is why the few a-holes get in and give them a bad name. I bet most of the frat daddies on this tread will say that the could live with kicking out a few people, and this is my main problem with frats, you can't choose the people your associated with. That and how much it costs is why I cannot understand joining one.