Let's hear some stories, Ags.

Cliff notes version from 1992 story: Roc takes Lil' Roc to the same zoo Roxanne (sp?) took Lil' Roc to just a few days before. Upon seeing same elephant Lil' Roc asks Roc what that long thing hanging down from the elephant is (not the trunk and not the tail but the thing between the hind legs). Lil' Roc says "I asked mommy what that is and she said it's nothing." Roc says "Of course she did, I've got her spoiled."

Excellent. Others?

Rock & Roxanne were riding into town on their old mule. The poor beast stumbled and they fell off. Rock stood up, eyed the beast and said "That's one!"

They climbed back aboard, but again the ol mule buckled and spilled its passengers. Rock stood up, looked at the mule angrily and said, "That's TWO!"

A third time, the climbed on the back of the mule. After a short distance, the poor thing couldn't carry 'em any further and lost its footing. This time, Rock furiously jumped up, ran to the front of the mule and screamed "That's THREE!" He took out a pistol and shot the poor animal dead right there.

Roxanne was horrified and screamed, "Rock, why did you do that? Why did you kill that poor creature - have you no heart? Why? Why? WHY?"



Slowly, Rock turned to Roxanne and said, "That's one!"

something about roc buying condoms. guy at the store said they cost 2 bucks. well roc happened to have two dollars. he gave the man his two dollars and started to leave with the condoms. the man said "hey, what about the tax?" roc says something like "tacs? dont they stay on by themselves?" and thats exactly what we are going to do them ags!

Rock and Roxanne were out walking by the railroad tracks one evening and the mood overtook them. So they rip each others cloths off and proceed to make things happen right there on the railroad tracks.

Well, a train comes around the bend and starts blowing it's whistle to make them get off the tracks. Meanwhile, Rock and Roxanne keep at their business as the train screeches to a halt inches from them.

The engineer jumps down and yells at them for not moving. Rock says "well sir, it was like this, she was cummin, I was cummin and you were coming- you were the only one who had in chance in he** of stoppin!"

circa 1972, my fish year

ROFLMAO 76...now that one is new to me!

Is it Roc or Rock?

Rock...Roc is a former TV show.

I loved this one. We were playing some school whose mascot was a bulldog.

So Rock was trying to get some sleep one night when his neighbor's dog started barking and wouldn't stop. Rock went over and asked his neighbor politely if he could please shut his dog up so he could get some sleep. A little while later that dog started barking again until Rock had finally had enough. He walked over to his neighbor's house, grabbed that big ol' bulldog by the collar, and threw it into oncoming traffic AGS!

Haha. I laughed so hard just because of the horrified reactions of all the girls covering their mouths while all the guys just started whooping and laughing. Pure greatness.

[This message has been edited by aCosmicBandito (edited 11/30/2007 10:41a).]

Good one, '76!

The funniest I've ever heard was told on the steps of the Colorado State Capitol in the early 90s - when we were upset by Colo. I was too tipsy to recall it later, but laughed until I almost wet myself. What I DO remember is that Embassy Suites in downtown Denver gave away free beer from five to seven, so we made a showing in the restaurant/bar. This led to aforementioned memory loss at Midnight Yell.

[This message has been edited by Roc96 (edited 11/30/2007 11:05a).]

"woman that's one."

and

"lad, I don't know where you've been, but I've seen you won first prize"

classics!

ive always wanted to see a thread will all these stories because I can never remember them.

Rock and Raquel got married, but Rock didn't have enough money to afford a honeymoon. THey had to spend the wedding night at Raquel's mom's house (hissss)

Raquel was awfully nervous, and when Rock took off his shirt, she ran out into the living room and said, "Mama, mama! Rock took off his shirt!"

Raquel's mama said, "Raquel, you get back in there and do your womanly duty!"

Raquel said, "Yes, mama." and went back to the bedroom. Things were progressing and Rock took off his pants. She ran out to the living room and said, "Mama, mama! Rock took off his pants!!"

Raquel's mama said, "Raquel, you get back in there and do your womanly duty!"

Raquel said, "Yes, mama." and went back to the bedroom. Now, Rock had been in the war and had lost part of his left foot from a land mine. When he took off his socks, Raquel got really freaked out. She ran out to the living room and said, "Mama, mama!! Rock's got a foot and a half!!"

Raquel's mama said, "Honey, you stay here and I'll go do your womanly duty!"

there were 3 guys that just graduated from medical school; A t-sip, a baylor bear, and ol' Rock. As a final exam, they were to inspect a cadaver and note anything unusual about it.

the baylor bear went first.

uncovered the body. it was lying face up. he looked over the front, and found nothing abnormal about it. he flipped it over, and immediately saw a cork stuck in the rectum. he removed the cork, and it started playing "the eyes of texas are upon you" - he wrote it down, replaced the cork, turned the body back over, and covered it up.

upon leaving the room, his proctor asked him "did you find anything unusual about the body?"

he said "yes. there was a cork in the anus. when i removed it, it played 'the eyes of texas are upon you' "

"congratulations Bear - you are now a doctor!"

next up was the t-sip

he too inspected the body, found the cork, removed it, sang along with "the eyes of texas are upon you" - replaced the cork, covered up the body, and left.

likewise, upon leaving the room, the proctor asked him "did you find anything unusual about the body?"

he said "yes. there was a cork in the anus. when i removed it, it played 'the eyes of texas are upon you' "

"congratulations t-sip- you are now a doctor!"

last up was Ol' Rock.

He was in the room for over 4 hours.

Finally the proctor went in and said - "Rock - what's taking so long?"

Rock was in the middle of a full out autopsy.

Rock - "i'm trying to find something unusual about this body"

Proctor - "did you look for obvious things?"

Rock - "of course i did"

Proctor -"did you flip the body over?"

Rock - "yes"

Proctor -"what did you find?"

Rock - "Nothing. unusual"

Proctor -"you didnt see the cork in the subjects anus?!"

Rock - "yes... i saw it."

Proctor -"well... did you remove it?"

Rock - "yes..."

Proctor -"well - what happened?!?!"

Rock - "well, it played 'the eyes of texas are upon you...'"

Proctor - "AND YOU DIDNT THINK THAT AS UNUSUAL?!?!?!"

Rock said - "Not particularly - i've heard @$$h0les singing that for years!"


[This message has been edited by kbaum07 (edited 11/30/2007 11:29a).]

Boo Boo told one about Rock getting pulled over and then beating the cop upside the head.

30,000 ags looking at eachother, stupified not knowing whether to whoop or not.

Roxanne is taking golf as her PE elective and is really struggling. The golf instructor watches and says “I see the problem. You’re gripping the club too tightly. Grip it like you do Rock’s manhood.” Roxanne ties one up and rips it 250 yards right down the middle. The instructor says “that’s great, and you may do even better if you take the club out of your mouth.”

From the 80's - not exactly a "Rock the good Ag" story, but I'll never forget it!

And it goes -

Rock the good Ag was a father, who had three daughters, who one Friday night, had three Aggie callers.

Knock at the door

Hello, my name is Freddie, I'm here to pick up Betty, we're going to go eat spaghetti, is she ready?

So Freddie and Betty go eat spaghetti.

Knock at the door

Hello, my name is Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo, we're going to see a show, is she ready to go?

So Joe and Flo went to the show.

Knock at the door

Hello, my name is Chuck...

Rock slams the door in his face.

Gig'em

Is it a funny coincidence that HardMan posted that one??

Not exactly a Rock story, but was told at an Aggie Yell Practice some years ago...

Old Ag comes back to campus to see the Aggie football team play tu. He's been away for a while, and one of the teasips is hassling him a little for being such an old codger.

teasip: "Why, you're so old, when was the last time you got some?"

Old army: "1945".

teasip: "1945, that's a h*ll of a long time ago."

Old army: "Not really. It's only 21:15 now".






"Desire, determination, spirit, the will to win, love of contact - call it what you like; it still can cover a multitude of sins in a football game." Coach Dana X. Bible

"Ten Aggies can yell louder than a hundred of anyone else." Coach Paul "Bear" Bryant

two favorites

Rock of Arabia and his camel were lost in the desert for days, out of water and food, Rock realizes that he and the camel are doomed.
Rock looks at the camel,
the camel looks at Rock,
Rock looks at the camel,
knowing Rock as he does, the camel takes off running
Rock and the camel go up and down the dunes, running and chasing for miles
then they top a ridge and down below is a small oasis
tied in the top of a palm tree is beautiful Arabian Princess Roxanne

"Help me !" she cries
Rock climbs the tree and frees her, helping her down to the ground

Roxanne looks at Rock and says
"Oh Rock you have saved me, You can have anything you want, I will do anything you need, anything, I mean anything, you name it"

Rock looks at Roxanne and says -
"Can you come hold my camel for me.. ."

I don't remember the connection to a football game or our opponent, but I loved that one.



next on my favorite list

Rock the WWI fighter pilot ace.
picks up Fifi the French damsel and takes her back to his place

"Take of your clothes" he says
"But Rock. . " she starts, "hush woman, I'm Rock the WWI fighter pilot ace, take off your clothes"
he lays her on the bed - "But Rock" she says - Hush woman etc
Rock ties her to the bedpost - "But Rock" - hush woman etc
Rock pours cognac over her naked body - But Rock - hush woman etc

Rock stands over her cognac covered tied down naked body and strikes a match
"But Rock" Fifi starts
"Hush woman, I'm Rock the WWI fighter pilot ace, and when Rock goes down, he goes down in flames !"

I heard a different version of the Golf story.
I heard that Rock was the golf instructor and a ghey sip came in and wanted to learn to play golf so he could spend more time with his partner. Rock not agrreing with the lifestyle helped out anyways and told him to go home and practice gripping the club like he was holding his partners dick and then let it rip. The next day the sip came in to thank Rock for his help and showed him is improvment.
Thats when Rock said you could hit it farther if you took the club outta your mouth.



When did it become cool to be "New Army?"

I like the one where Rock beat the hell outta Stage IV colorectal cancer with metastasis to his lymph and liver.

Rock the good Ag flew home to Texas for the Thanksgiving holidays the year he was completing a fall internship at a Midwestern university. As soon as he got home, he and Racquel went out for a night on the town...where things got a little steamy.

That night, after their date, Raquel's roommate noticed a big letter 'M' on her chest when she was getting ready to go to bed. She asked Racquel, "what's going on?"

Racquel said they took a walk in the park, it had started to rain, and in the 'steaminess' of the moment they ripped off their clothes except for Rock's college sweatshirt. The block letter from the sweatshirt left an imprint on Racquel's skin.

The roommate asked..."Is he going to Michigan?"

Nope.

"Is he going to Minnesota?"

Nope.

"Then where is Rock doing his internship???"

"Wisconsin."

I always saw it in the Batt as "Roc."

well it seems Old Rock happend to fall for an OU Sooner... and decided it was high time he took her to meet his folks

towards the end of the evening, Rock sat down with his dad and asked what he thought of her...

"Well, Rock" said his father, "she seems like a great girl - shes funny, she's quite the looker, and she really seems to like you... but, i just dont know about her..."

Rock replies "why's that pop?"

"well... if she wasnt good enough for her own family... what makes you think shes good enough for you"

quote:

---

I always saw it in the Batt as "Roc."

---

As I said - Rock.

Told this at fish camp. Yes I was a die hard freshman.

Rock and Rockell went parking, and Rock kissed Rockell. Rockell got nervous, jumped out of the car and walked herself home. She pulled out her diary and wrote a girls best friend is her legs.

Rock finally got up the courage to ask Rockell out again. And again they went parking. But this time, not only did rock kiss her he got her shirt off. Rockell finally go scared and jumped out of the car and walked home.

She pulled out her diary and wrote "a girls best friend is her legs."

Rock was beside himself but figured what the heck. He asked Rockell out again. And again they went parking. The kiss, off came the shirt and well you can make up the rest! (Insert Whoooooop here!)

Ol Rock dropped her off proper at the front door. Out came the diary and Rockell wrote...

"Some times best friends must part."

Fall of '80, I think, told by Jeff Smiley... I think:

Rock had spent all summer after Final Review polishing his new senior boots, and when the first day of class came, off he went, struttin' across the Quad to his first class. And wow, did his boots shine- people needed sunglasses since they shone like brown glass.

He gets to his first class and while sitting across from the hottie, Rockita, Rock suddenly looks down and fixes a stare at the toe of his right boot.

Rockita looks down to see what Rock's staring at and discovers, to her embarassment, that her "special place" is reflecting back up in the sheen of Rock's shining senior boot- and it looked like Rock was perving a glance!

Offended, Rockita yells at Rock, "And just what the HELL do you think you're looking at?!"

Rock looks up and says, "Shi-ite, one day out of the Quad and my boot's already got a CRACK in it,"

I laughed so hard, a little pi55 came out.

So, Rock the Good Ag had a farm out in the vast reaches of Brazos County. He raised all kinds of animals on this farm, but the most unique was a feathered beast by the name of Brewster the Rooster. Quite the cock, it seems. And it seems his cocksmanship wasn't limited to the henhouse. Brewster would attempt to couple with any living, breathing animal of the barnyard. "That bidness is gonna kill you one of these days, Brewster," Rock would warn knowingly.

But Brewster kept up the habit. One morning, the goose. Later that day, a sow. At night, a warm, cozy ewe.

One morning, Rock comes up from the barn, having finished his chores, and there is Brewster, having his way with Rock's best milking cow. "I'm warning you, Brewster, one of these days, this habit of yours is going to kill you!"

Later that afternoon, Rock walks out of the farmhouse and there is Brewster, laid out flat on his back, limp and lifeless in the yard. Buzzards already circling in the sky.

"Dammit, bird, I tried to tell you that this bidness would kill you one of these days," Rock said in the direction of the body.

"Hush!" Brewster looked up with a wink. "Those buzzards are about to light and one of 'em looks pretty good ..."

... and that's the way we are going to dominate Baylor tomorrow Aggies, we're going to beat the ever-livin' ...

ttt

Gotta wonder what would happen to the yell leader that brought back the REAL ol' Rock and Rocquel stories without informing the PC police.

Would probably be his last outing as yell leader.

Oh for the good ol days.

....oh wait, wrong thread.

i remember one, it was a spoof on the old quasimodo pun about the bell ringer....

Albritton bell tower was dedicated in 1984 and so i think they used that as their inspiration.

Not sure if its ever been told again(?).

I don't recall the exact wording or which role Roc played so I'll post the long Quasimodo version here, it has 2 puns and I do recall them both being used:


After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.

The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day.

Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he was there to apply for the bell ringer's job. The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!". "No matter," said the man. "Observe!" And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon.

The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced that he had found a replacement for Quasimodo. But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.

The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before. As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?".

"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell."

BUT, WAIT! WAIT! There's more . . .

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.

The first man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty.".

The bishop agreed to give the man an audition, and, as the armlessmman's brother stooped to pick up a mallet to strike the first bell, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around, and died on the spot.

Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side. "What has happened? Who is this man?" the first monk asked breathlessly.

"I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, "but....He's a dead ringer for his brother."