this is an excellent thread. All the stories since i've been here (class of 2009... AAA WHOOP!!!) have been complete trash

"An A-Bomb, From A-Rod"

ttt

great thread

My fave:
so... 'ol Rock was f@(king the **** out of a tea-sip!
and thats exactly what we're gonna do to them aggies!

One from mid-80s.

Rock & a t-sip were crossing the dessert on a horse and came up on some water. Rock & the t-sip drank some water, but the horse wouldn't drink. They both agreed that he has to drink some water.
Rock said that he'll hold the horse's head in the water and for the t-sip to start sucking on the other end.
Roch asked "How's it working?"
t-sip replied "Hold his head up, all I'm getting is mud back here."

Rock stopped by a farmhouse and knocked on the door. Farmer answered and Rock said "Howdy, my name is Rock and I'm from Texas A&M and I noticed you got some milkweeds out by the pond. Is it OK if I go get a gallon of milk?"

Farmer said "son, milk doesn't come from milkweeds"

Rock says "well, you see sir, I went to Texas A&M and they taught us how to get milk out of milkweeds and if you don't mind, can I get a gallon or 2?"

Farmer says "If you say you know how, go knock yourself out"

An hour passes when the farmer hears a knock on the door, and he answers. There's Rock with a gallon of milk in his hands, farmer can't believe his eyes.

Rock says " I sure do want to thank you for the milk, sir, and if I could bother you again, I noticed you had some buttercups out in your field. I'd be mighty obliged if I could get a pound of butter from them"

Farmer says "Aggie, I don't know how you got milk out of milkweeds, but you sure as heck won't get butter out of buttercups"

Rock says "Sir, like I said I'm from Texas A&M and they teach us those things and if it's OK, I'd sure like to try"

Farmer says "Have at it"

Couple more hours pass when the farmers hears another knock on the door. When he answers he can't believe his eyes. There's Rock with a gallon of milk and a pound of butter.

Rock says "I just wanted to thank you again for the milk and the butter, but if I could trouble you for one more thing"

"I saw some p***ywillows out by your pond--"

Farmer shouts out before Rock can finish "Hold it right there Aggie, let me go get my hat!"

ttt

Rock and a tea-sip were both applying for the same job at a major corporation.

The man in charge of hiring says, "Your resumes are identical, and your work histories are so similar, I don't know which one of you I want to hire.

"So here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna make up a word. You're going to make up a poem using that word, and quite simply, the best poem gets the job."

So Rock goes out the the room. The tea-sip sits there with the guy. The guy says, "So here's the word - Timbuktu."

The tea-sip sits for about 15 minutes, thinking a little - writing a little. Finally, he's got his poem. He says:

"Across the buring desert sand
came a camel caravan.
One by one, and two by two,
Destination Timbuktu."

The man is quite impressed with the poem, but tells the tea-sip that Rock has to have his try. He sends out the tea-sip, and brings in Rock.

"You've got a tough one to beat, Aggie," He says. "Your word is Timbuktu."

Rock stands and thinks: "Timbuktu... Timbuktu." He thinks for about 10 seconds, doesn't write anything down, and says he's ready.

"Me and Tim a campin' went
took three hookers in a tent.
Them bein' three, and we bein two,
I buck one, and Timbuktu."


Rock got the job. (Whoop!)

Midnight Yell - 1987

Rock the good Ag was going to marry Rockell and they had never been in the loving sort of way before they got married.

Rock had been injured in the war and got half his left foot blown off when he stepped on a mine.

Rock and Rockell got married and spent their wedding night in Rockell's mother's house in the upstairs bedroom.

That night after all had gone to bed Rockell's mom was downstairs kniting when upstairs Rock takes off his shirt. Rockell goes running downstairs and cries "Momma Momma, Rock just took off his shirt, what to I do?"

Rockell's mom says, "Honey, just go upstairs and do your womenly duty"

Rockell goes upstaris. Rock takes of his pants. Rokell goes running back downstairs yelling, "Momma Momma, Rock just took off his pants, what do I do?"

Momma says, "Rockell, go back upstairs and do your womenly duty."

Rockell goes back upstaris where Rock has taken off his shoes and socks. Rockell runs back downstairs and yells, "Momma Momma, Rock has got a foot and a half, what do I do?"

Rockell's Momma puts down the kniting and says to Rockell, "You stay here, I'm going upstairs and gonna do my womenly duty"


Whoop

Beat the Hell outa Penn State

[This message has been edited by Six String (edited 12/12/2007 5:21p).]

Told sometime in the early 90's.

Rock and Raquel were getting married. The day before the wedding, Rock was playing golf. At the wrong time and while standing in the fairway, Rock turned around and was hit in his wedding tackle by a golf ball. He bent over and fell to the ground. When Rock checked his club (slang) he knew it was broken.

Since Rock was getting married the next day, he had to do something, so he went to the Quack Shack. Rock told Ol Doc what had happened, that he was getting married the next day, and that he needed his help. Ol Doc made him drop his pants. At first, Ol Doc didn't know what he was going to do. Finally, Ol Doc had an idea and pulled out four tongue depressors and some tape.

The next night after the wedding, Raquel came into the bed wearing a fancy french neglige. Raquel said to Rock, "Rock, look at my body. I'm a virgin and I've never been with a man before." Raquel took off her bra and said "Rock, no man has ever touched these breasts before." When at last, she took off her panties, she said "Rock, no man has shared in my desire before. Take me."

You could say Rock was more than pretty excited by now. He tore off his underwear and said to her "Hell, mine's still in the box!"

12th Man, it was the Fall of '81 - my first semester. I laughed until I cried. Thanks for re-telling the story.

This is old story originally told in a coon ass format. Rock and Rockell went Christmas shopping for their Mom.
Rock went to the perfume counter and Rockell went on to another dept.
Rock said to the Sales Lady, " I would like to buy my Mom some nice perfume for Christmas, what do you like?"
The Lady took out a sample bottle of perfume, sprayed a little on Rock's wrist who promptly took a whiff. The lady asked, "How do you like it sir?"
Rock repiled, "It smells real good. What do you call it" " Come To Me", she said.

Rock yelled,"Rockell come quick." He said "Smell this. Does it smell like come to you?"

there have been 2011 views

"An A-Bomb, From A-Rod"

Just before Christmas the children brought gifts for the teacher. The sip's son (a florist) brought flowers. The tceh's daughter (candy-store owner) gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Rock jr. (The liquor-store owner's son) brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine? She asked.

"No," said Rock jr. , "it's a puppy!"

Roc, a tsip, a Frenchman, and Englishman were all sitting at a bar one night.

During a slow point the Englishman took his bottle of Ale, threw it into the air, shot it, and yelled "Long Live the Queen!"

Upon seeing this, and not to be out done, the Frenchman took his bottle of wine, threw it in the air, shot it, and yelled "Vive la France!"

Ol'Roc looks around and says, "I think I know what's going on here..."

So Roc takes his can of Ol'Milwaukee, throws it into the air, SHOOTS THE TSIP, and says "It doesn't get any better than this!"

ttt

ttt

When did Rock stories become so...clean? The one's now are just plays on words. No raquel or roxanne.

******************************
I'm not in a frat. I'm Greek.

Too clean for you, Well this one was told in 1970 during my fish year at midnight yell.


Rock and his buddies had come back from the war and decided to head to the Chicken Ranch for a manly night of beer and women. But when they got there all of the girls were busy except for Sandpaper Sue.

Rock had not seen a woman in a long time and decided that he would pay his $20.00 and go with Sandpaper Sue. So they go to the bedroom and start to get it on. But Rock could not stand it because it hurt him so much. Sue said just a minute and went to the bathroom for a few minutes and then came back and told Rock to try again. Rock climbed back on and it was fantastic.

After he finished he asked Sue what was the difference and how did you make that feel so good.

She replied "Oh, I just scrapped off the scabs and let the puss run."


Bet they wouldn't tell that these days.

Rock and Raquel went to a square dance. While they were dancing, Rock said, "Raquel, what is that perfume you're wearing? It's making me so hot and horny." Raquel said, "It's called Eue de Paris." A little while later, Raquel said, " Rock, what's that you have on? It's making me so hot and horny." Rock said, "I have a hard on, but I didn't know you could smell it."

Is it the off-season already ?? I thought we had another game still to play.