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Anxiety, Depression, OCD

26,109 Views | 152 Replies | Last: 10 days ago by BadMoonRisin
jczar03
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AG
I've been lurking the Texags boards for a long time. There are many good people on here always willing to help, share experiences and offer good advice, and it is appreciated. Our family is at a point where we just don't know what else to do. My 29-year old daughter, Class of 2015, had a successful 5-year elementary school teaching career, but has been suffering from anxiety, depression and OCD for the past 2+ years. She has one of the best possible family support systems one could hope for. She has been to multiple psychiatrists (pleased with the current one), numerous counselors, intensive counseling, been prescribed different medications, etc. The most significant issue with treatment over this period is that she struggles taking medication as she thinks it makes her feel worse and we believe that she constantly lies about taking it. She is petite, but should not be under 100 pounds petite. She struggles gaining weight and keeping it on. The whole situation is heartbreaking for us.

We are looking for effective counselors in the College Station area. We are also considering a clinic or hospital in the U.S. that could help. As noted above, any advice, thoughts, recommendations, experiences, etc. would be greatly appreciated.
Ragoo
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AG
You mention weight - does she have an eating disorder driving the other behavior? My sister had a lot of success at St Francis in Tulsa after going to many other places first.
wangus12
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I know this isn't probably helpful, but my wife really struggled with anxiety and depression while she was teaching for 9 years. All the hours of teaching and coaching and dealing with administration and parents in that thankless hellhole wore her down. She got out last year and I got to watch the person I married reappear. Massive weight got lifted off her shoulders.

Hope yall can get her the help she needs. Will be praying for her and your family.
jczar03
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Thank you for taking time to post!

She doesn't appear to have an eating disorder. Right now it's mainly no appetite even though she is on a medication to increase her appetite and help with sleep.

She taught 3rd grade until the school increased her student load from approximately 40 to 90 students which was the trigger that started all of this in 2019. She has not been able to recover since. Covid in 2020 surely didn't help the situation.
Max Power
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AG
I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's, and your own struggles as a parent. Trying to address mental health is difficult to say the least. I can only assume she needs in patient care and I unfortunately don't have any recommendations. I will say she is lucky to have a support group that cares because it's a lonely struggle. I've been on medication for years and I don't think my wife truly has any idea what it's like in my head, and she's lucky for that. When I was diagnosed with depression my doctor said he considered sending me immediately to an in patient facility, not committed or anything like that, but he had concerns.

It sounds like work might have caused a mental breakdown for her, which can happen, possibly PTSD. My mom was a teacher, and it's completely different now. I don't want my daughter to become a teacher, I think it's a bad environment for just about anyone these days. One piece of advice I'd give is that your daughter likely got into teaching because she is a caring person and wanted to help. I'd recommend trying to find something she can volunteer with if she's up to it. Helping someone else can really help someone who is struggling mentally.

There are so many different medications these days, hopefully they can find one that suits her. I wish there was something that made me just feel happy, but there's no pill for happiness. My medication just keeps me out of the bottom of the pit I felt I was in so I'm able to make it through every day. There are some things at the heart of me that I don't think can ever be fixed, but a great deal of that stems from not having the same level of support that your daughter does, she is truly fortunate to have people so willing and able to help her.

Chin up, keep moving forward, don't give up the fight.
jczar03
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AG
Thanks for sharing your experience. It takes an unbelievable amount of strength to go through what you and many others are going through. I'm praying for you and your family.
G. hirsutum Ag
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Have y'all looked into CBD/Delta8/cannabis?

I could write a novel on how much it's helped me
Max Power
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Thank you. Another couple of things that can help on a daily basis. Don't let her be idle, always be doing something. The worst times for me are when I'm alone with my thoughts so I try to stay busy. Another thing is physical activity, and I don't mean minor, I mean strenuous if she can take it. I'm up at 4:00 every morning so I can start lifting by 4:30, luckily I've been able to put a gym in my house. Days I work out are markedly better than days I don't. She might need group classes to stay motivated, CrossFit, Boot Camp, Orange Theory, etc. Minor physical activity doesn't get your brain going like strenuous activity does.

A note on CBD, cannabis, etc. I've tried CBD and it only works if I take a massive amount, and it's not cheap. I keep meaning to get a medical marijuana card because it's basically the only thing I can remember that helps me relax, alcohol isn't great for the meds I'm on, but I had a weed gummy recently and it actually helped me.
BigOil
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I feel your struggle. One HS daughter survived a suicide attempt two years ago and the other thought about it twice. Nothing seems to help - meds, counselors, etc. It's literally a day by day journey with lots of walking on eggshells and someone has to be the oak to keep it all from falling apart. Most days are good, but two steps forward one step back is a constant that you got to be vigilant of.
Builder93
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I have seen this in close female family members.

Check things like food allergies, Hashimoto's thyroiditis, mold toxicity.

A good functional medicine doctor can help. Diet and gut health are huge influences in mood and depression. Low vitamin D can also cause depressive symptoms.

Lots of people will look at these things as holistic voodoo but I've seen it work in real life.
gigemJTH12
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AG
dude...get you some weed forreal. stay on it nightly.
Geriatric Punk
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AG
No advice, but all of my empathy. Anxiety and depression can steal your soul. I hope she is able to find a way through.
Life's an endless party, not a pushcart.
RustyBoltz
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AG
Besides family, does she have any other support groups? She had a successful career but now what does she do? Any hobbies? What gets her out of bed in the morning?

Would she be willing to try participating in a running club? It looks like Brazos Runners Club has a good group of people - if all she does is show up and walk, talk, and socialize. Joining a running club has been the most positive influence on my mental and physical health.
administrative errors
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jczar03 said:

I've been lurking the Texags boards for a long time. There are many good people on here always willing to help, share experiences and offer good advice, and it is appreciated. Our family is at a point where we just don't know what else to do. My 29-year old daughter, Class of 2015, had a successful 5-year elementary school teaching career, but has been suffering from anxiety, depression and OCD for the past 2+ years. She has one of the best possible family support systems one could hope for. She has been to multiple psychiatrists (pleased with the current one), numerous counselors, intensive counseling, been prescribed different medications, etc. The most significant issue with treatment over this period is that she struggles taking medication as she thinks it makes her feel worse and we believe that she constantly lies about taking it. She is petite, but should not be under 100 pounds petite. She struggles gaining weight and keeping it on. The whole situation is heartbreaking for us.

We are looking for effective counselors in the College Station area. We are also considering a clinic or hospital in the U.S. that could help. As noted above, any advice, thoughts, recommendations, experiences, etc. would be greatly appreciated.


If she has a counselor who's open to it, I'll send a macrodose and a month's supply of microdose capsule or pharma-compounding tablets with psilocybin.

Take the macrodose, have the trip alone or with an APPROPRIATE sitter, reflect write and then talk to counselor about the experience. Microdose capsules taken once every 2 days or 4 days on 3 days off.

It can absolutely reset the filters you've put around reality for your own protection that ends up as OCD/Anxiety/etc.

Love to help, lemme know

Cryptohemp at gmail

https://www.elephantos.com/en/blog/the-benefits-of-psilocybin-and-ocd.html
Builder93
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AG
I should mention that Hashimoto's is commonly misdiagnosed as OCD. I read that 30-40% of Hashimoto's patients are initially diagnosed with OCD and sent to a psychiatrist instead of an endocrinologist.
I Sold DeSantis Lifts
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Meditation. Real some philosophy


jczar03
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AG
Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I can't put into words how much it's appreciated.
AggieBarstool
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Not judging, but does your daughter recognize she needs help? If yes, does she *want* it?

Knowing / wanting is 2/3 the battle.
jczar03
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AG
She realizes she can't get past this without something. Unfortunately, she believes the medications she has been on reluctantly and inconsistently, have caused her to have more issues and don't work. Not sure that she has really ever given the medications a chance to work appropriately.

She has been employed more than not over the past 2.5 years and is currently employed.

This is a difficult nut to crack. Once we can get her stabilized again, I've got to try to figure out the source of this instead of just accepting treatment for the symptoms with generic applicable medications. Possible sources causing this are mentioned earlier, are greatly appreciated and will be checked out. We have already completed an extensive test of hormones with an Endocrinologist so we were able to eliminate chemical imbalances. I found out about another one during a chance meeting that might help someone else reading this thread. It allowed for proper treatment of his daughter who miraculously was able to quickly improve. It's a test for a MTHFR gene mutation. This mutation appears to be the cause for several common problems seen today. I'm not planning to stop until we get to the bottom of this.

Thanks again to everyone here!
gigemJTH12
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AG
forgive me if being too personal...is she single?

I know that in these times being single for someone her age can be tough if she is on social media. seeing everyones "perfect life" of getting engaged, married, pregnant can be tough for someone who is single.

creates a false perception that she is "behind" in life.

Very common and its sad.

And stepping away from social media is tough for people that age. I get it.
administrative errors
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It's gotta be difficult. I've got a 6 yr old and a 2 yr old [girl/boy], and can only imagine.

Is there any trauma uncovered during the psychiatrist/counselor visits? Covid is it's own trauma, especially as a teacher with such opposing views of reality from every avenue... gotta be tough on mental health.

If she loves teaching, has she considered home schooling a small class? Sometimes a fit of depression is exactly what happens before entrepreneurship flares it's magnificent head...

You mentioned you think she's not being honest about her medication regiments, are there other substances she might be consuming under your radar? Prior injuries or pain mgmt concerns?

Sleep patterns?

Anyways, really curious about it and hope you all find resolution that's lasting and helpful.

[Edit]
And yeah social media is pretty corruptive to the soul, tinder/etc. Apps are far from helpful (although my brother met his fiance on tinder)...
Ghost of Andrew Eaton
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wangus12 said:

I know this isn't probably helpful, but my wife really struggled with anxiety and depression while she was teaching for 9 years. All the hours of teaching and coaching and dealing with administration and parents in that thankless hellhole wore her down. She got out last year and I got to watch the person I married reappear. Massive weight got lifted off her shoulders.

Hope yall can get her the help she needs. Will be praying for her and your family.
As a guy who has been teaching for 20 years, I can tell you that these past two years have been absurd. Last year was just a new challenge but this year has been the first time I've thought about getting out of the game. It's not anything other than student behaviors and I've never struggled with student behaviors. Maybe it's this class of kids but I think we've done some damage to our kids with this whole COVID issue and it's going to take time to get them back to normal. The bizarre thing is that it's not the kids that stayed at home last year that are the issue.
I'm not much help but maybe it is time for a career change. Although I could see that possibly causing a whole other set of issues.
If you say you hate the state of politics in this nation and you don't get involved in it, you obviously don't hate the state of politics in this nation.
G. hirsutum Ag
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My body lacks a specific enzyme that inhibits normal flow of serotonin and dopamine. SSRIs alone aren't enough to treat it but it isn't treatment resistant depression. My dad has spent a fortune figuring it out and he finally found the right combination of medication.

I am on a low dose SSRI that I begrudgingly take. It does help take out most of the lows but unfortunately it also takes out some of the highs and kind of makes me dull and numb. Quite honestly I hate it, but it is much better than the alternative. I've tried 3 different SSRIs and they all had drastically different effects and side effects. And unfortunately the process is much more finding a set of side effects that you can tolerate instead of finding on that makes you feel good. Then you have to find the right dose. You have to want to get help to go down this road because it is incredibly frustrating but rewarding if you stick to it.

Back in June I added regular daily cannabis use and within 2 weeks my depression was completely gone. That doesn't mean I don't get depressed, but being depressed is a lot different than living in depression. I want to get off my SSRI and try just cannabis here in the near future. I think I'm finally ready to try.

You are on the right track. Let your daughter know that she has your 100% full unconditional support. Let her know that depression is no different than a sprained ankle or any other normal every day medical condition. Also let her know that long term untreated depression can alter her brain permanently. My faith has also helped me a lot, if that is part of your life I highly encourage you to keep in close contact with the pastors and make sure that they are also 100% supportive and not just telling her that she needs to pray more to cure her depression.

Yall keep hacking at it and eventually you will figure it out. If you want to nerd out on all the details of my journey or just want more support feel free to email me.
jczar03
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AG
Single
Smart
One of the sweetest people you will ever meet
Rarely drinks, no drugs
Looks at social media but is not obsessed with it
Really enjoyed Camp Gladiator
Phone not glued to palm of her hand.
Definitely feeling behind, no question about it. Social interaction is a challenge in her profession.
Moved to Mom's house after college. Basically had entire house to herself most of the time since Mom was not there very much. As a result, has a 6 figure 403(b) account and mid 5 figures in cash which is at least some proof of success that she struggles to see.
I suspect PTSD due to Mom's second ex-husband from age 10-18, but appeared perfectly normal until about age 26 when mild anxiety started to creep in and eventually the trigger pushed her overboard.
Depression made her feel like she had no friends, no one wanted to be around her, everyone would eventually abandon her, she would not have enough money to pay for the treatments, and every other false feeling you could possibly think of. Of course, none of it was true but it was a truth in her head.
She has been though 2 psychiatrists, half a dozen counselors, a 7-week outpatient counseling program, a 4-week outpatient counseling program, no inpatient yet

Absolutely heartbreaking to see your child, regardless of age, go through this and no one can get through to them.
1988PA-Aggie
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Just my two cents...my step daughter has several of the same issues, but mostly brought on by a psychologically abusive bio father. Maybe not quite the level of your daughter, but similar. Trauma is still trauma. The rejection she received from her father has manifested itself into several behavior issues...low self esteem, no confidence, shy, garbage boyfriends...throw in ADD that was misdiagnosed several years ago, then compound everything geometrically with social media. She has very few friends, but usually the friends are in worse shape than her. She has no one that will bring her 'up'.

She is medicated but the side effects are stomach issues and inability to sleep soundly. When she doesn't take her med, she acts like a 10 yr old that crawls into her shell, sleeps a ton, and just scrolls through social media.

When she DOES take her med, she is far better and what you may perceive as a normal 25 yr old. But she hates the side effects. It is a double edged sword.

She is in counseling regularly but I don't think it does anything as I believe she manipulates the conversation to talk about one or two current anxiety based issues, and the counselor never digs deeper to get to the CAUSE of the anxiety situation.

What helps? Same as some previous posters have already stated. Working out and staying busy. When she goes to the gym regularly, eats fairly well, her self esteem is much higher, better behavior then follows. Staying busy, while she doesn't know it yet, is mandatory. When she is on break from school, she is usually a minor to hot mess. (That could also be because she doesn't necessarily take her med when off school.) She is FAR better when her mind is occupied with something productive, striving towards a goal and having measurable accomplishments. I have tried to get her to volunteer also, but to no avail. So the only thing we can do from a distance (she is still at school) is to encourage her to spend time with better people, or doing things that she can accomplish and not overwhelm.

I didn't mean to make this post "all about MY daughter"...just trying to draw some parallels. This period we are going through will be broken down and analyzed for decades to come. The affect on our young people is way too complicated to merely medicate them into a zombie-like state. You being a great parent and just being there may be all that is possible to weather this storm?
administrative errors
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Women definitely are better at masking adhd symptoms, and sometimes adhd symptoms are actually trauma symptoms, really messy stuff.

She stay pretty well organized?
Has she left college Station and gone out on her own?
Changes of scenery and new challenges can bring some tremendous changes in people. My brother was going through a depression spell, living with parents, got laid off, o practically forced him to come up to CO and live with us for a bit, and work at my store.

After a few months of getting sick and tired of living with me he went home, got a job, met a girl, got engaged, and is getting married in about 8 weeks.

I can't say I DID ANYTHING other than force him out of his routine of video games and free food and rent, take him out to the wilderness for hikes, a tiny bit of weed since he was looking for a job, and force him to do marketing for the store via Facebook as payment for room/board.

We can get into these really deep ruts in life, especially if we are hiding from past traumas.

G hirsitum is a good Ag and we talk regularly.


Now I'm not sure if it was answered but is she asking you guys for help or is she following your lead for help? Like another poster said, far far more effective if it's coming from internal motivation.
Max Power
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AG
I can definitely see some similarities in your daughter and myself. I've worked from home about 7 years now and I no longer live in Texas, I'll put it bluntly, I don't have any friends anymore, and it's messed me up. I only bring this up because people are tribal, and if you feel isolated (even if you're surrounded by family) it's really damaging to your mental health. Even though I know I've had depression for quite a long time I had friends back in Texas, people I'd see all the time, go to the bar, concerts, movies, fishing, etc. I didn't have to be medicated until I left, I felt like I had my people around me, now I don't. Every time I go back to Texas I make it a point to see them and my family, but it's not reciprocated, none of my friends has come to visit, not a single one that we had at my wedding, not a single one whose wedding I went to. It can reinforce the isolation, depression, self esteem, etc.

Does she have any friends that she is or used to be really close with? I bring this up because if one of my friends just showed up one day it would mean the world to me. There's a kind of reassurance that comes from your friends that you can't get anywhere else. If you know of any I would try to get them to see her and help...though it's a big ask for them.

I'm seriously not trying to derail this and make it about me, I'm just trying to illustrate the impact of a feeling of isolation, even if from the outside it might not seem like they are.

My heart goes out to you as a parent. One thing I don't remember hearing from anyone before I became a parent is how scared you are for them every single day. I'm always worried something will happen if I'm gone. I'm worried she'll develop depression and self esteem issues like I have, I don't want to pass this crap on to her, but I'll have a conversation with her when she's old enough so she knows to come to me if she feels like I do. I won't let her suffer alone like I have. My daughter is 6, and I worry about today as much as the future.

You are a fine parent, I commend you for reaching out to professionals and a bunch of strangers on a message board looking for answers.
administrative errors
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Max Power said:

I can definitely see some similarities in your daughter and myself. I've worked from home about 7 years now and I no longer live in Texas, I'll put it bluntly, I don't have any friends anymore, and it's messed me up. I only bring this up because people are tribal, and if you feel isolated (even if you're surrounded by family) it's really damaging to your mental health. Even though I know I've had depression for quite a long time I had friends back in Texas, people I'd see all the time, go to the bar, concerts, movies, fishing, etc. I didn't have to be medicated until I left, I felt like I had my people around me, now I don't. Every time I go back to Texas I make it a point to see them and my family, but it's not reciprocated, none of my friends has come to visit, not a single one that we had at my wedding, not a single one whose wedding I went to. It can reinforce the isolation, depression, self esteem, etc.

It is hard, went from huge pockets of friends all over the state to like 4 people we see regularly besides neighbors.

I dont know if the social media connections have helped or hurt, but I do make an effort to call the friends that bring me energy or incite curiousity and keep up with them or update them on my nonsensical ramblings about the world at large.

If you ever want/need to shoot the ****, I'll be your huckleberry. Love to listen.

Quote:



My heart goes out to you as a parent. One thing I don't remember hearing from anyone before I became a parent is how scared you are for them every single day. I'm always worried something will happen if I'm gone. I'm worried she'll develop depression and self esteem issues like I have, I don't want to pass this crap on to her, but I'll have a conversation with her when she's old enough so she knows to come to me if she feels like I do. I won't let her suffer alone like I have. My daughter is 6, and I worry about today as much as the future.

same. Same.

One thing I might encourage is not hiding your emotional distress from family, but leaving it open. I hope, without data, that this will provide my children recognition of their own emotional states and relief avenues or shoulders that can bear some burden.

Quote:


You are a fine parent, I commend you for reaching out to professionals and a bunch of strangers on a message board looking for answers.


Most of us are aggies here, not strangers, just extended family from other mothers.

We can hold each other and hold space for each other to get through the tough times. Right around each exhausting uphill climb is another adventure. I couldn't imagine a better community to experience life with.

Where ya located now?
Hemingway
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AG
I recently started taking an SSRI, and I agree they do not make me feel good. They make the hard spots less difficult. One thing I wanted to suggest, you really need to be consistent with the medication. I got fed up with the side effects of one and just stopped taking it one day. I was okay for a couple of days then I crashed. I had what felt like an 8 hour panic attack - way worse than the ones that caused me to get on meds. I changed meds and have not missed a day for fear of the withdrawal.
jczar03
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AG
Thanks again for the support and conversation. This is a very informative and useful thread for me.

I'm trying to answer as many of the questions as I can, so hopefully I'm getting to most of them. I would love to hear my daughter ask for help to get better, but that hasn't happened. Unfortunately, I think there was a lot of outside advice that she needed to grow up, act like an adult and figure it out herself, including from counselors. She seems to now be an adult stuck in an adolescence time period which is strange. It's difficult to talk through all of the negative responses and thoughts during conversations. For example, she picked at her food all day yesterday. I tried to find out if she had no appetite, felt full, felt nauseated, food tasted bad to her, etc. The answer was she didn't know how to eat. That's a small part of what we are dealing with.

I'm not quite sure we are ready for some of the non-medicinal recommendations, but nothing is being ruled out.

She has to decide whether she can be mature enough to do what it takes to function on a daily basis and try to get better (focus on eating, drinking, sleeping, medication, counseling, exercise, relationship with God, etc.) or go to a facility where most of these are forced.
jczar03
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AG
We are in the Houston area.
administrative errors
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I'll be in Houston on March 17th for the night before my brothers bachelor party that weekend. Lemme know if I can bring any tools or guidance for your daughter.
Boats and Hose
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AG
administrative errors said:

Max Power said:

I can definitely see some similarities in your daughter and myself. I've worked from home about 7 years now and I no longer live in Texas, I'll put it bluntly, I don't have any friends anymore, and it's messed me up. I only bring this up because people are tribal, and if you feel isolated (even if you're surrounded by family) it's really damaging to your mental health. Even though I know I've had depression for quite a long time I had friends back in Texas, people I'd see all the time, go to the bar, concerts, movies, fishing, etc. I didn't have to be medicated until I left, I felt like I had my people around me, now I don't. Every time I go back to Texas I make it a point to see them and my family, but it's not reciprocated, none of my friends has come to visit, not a single one that we had at my wedding, not a single one whose wedding I went to. It can reinforce the isolation, depression, self esteem, etc.

It is hard, went from huge pockets of friends all over the state to like 4 people we see regularly besides neighbors.

I dont know if the social media connections have helped or hurt, but I do make an effort to call the friends that bring me energy or incite curiousity and keep up with them or update them on my nonsensical ramblings about the world at large.

If you ever want/need to shoot the ****, I'll be your huckleberry. Love to listen.

Same here. Let me know if you want to chat. Happy to be a sounding board.
Boats and Hose
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AG
gigemJTH12
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AG
jczar03 said:

Thanks again for the support and conversation. This is a very informative and useful thread for me.

I'm trying to answer as many of the questions as I can, so hopefully I'm getting to most of them. I would love to hear my daughter ask for help to get better, but that hasn't happened. Unfortunately, I think there was a lot of outside advice that she needed to grow up, act like an adult and figure it out herself, including from counselors. She seems to now be an adult stuck in an adolescence time period which is strange. It's difficult to talk through all of the negative responses and thoughts during conversations. For example, she picked at her food all day yesterday. I tried to find out if she had no appetite, felt full, felt nauseated, food tasted bad to her, etc. The answer was she didn't know how to eat. That's a small part of what we are dealing with.

I'm not quite sure we are ready for some of the non-medicinal recommendations, but nothing is being ruled out.

She has to decide whether she can be mature enough to do what it takes to function on a daily basis and try to get better (focus on eating, drinking, sleeping, medication, counseling, exercise, relationship with God, etc.) or go to a facility where most of these are forced.
can you explain this further? from all your posts before this I wouldnt have expected this after your first few posts about her. I am sorry man
 
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