2.5 year old who takes an hour plus to go to sleep. Most nights ends up in our bed or someone sleeps with her.

She used to sleep like a hibernating bear. It has all gone to hell the last 4 months.

Do we introduce the childproof locks and let her scream like hell?

Benadryl

Car ride

Sleep machine? The white noise is nice.

Aggies1322 said:

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Sleep machine? The white noise is nice.

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Got it on every night.

I know some that do melatonin. Leaning into the idea more and more

Booby traps. Use her favorite stuff animal as an example of what happens if she sets off a trap.

She knows one of you will pick her up and stay or take her to your bed. She's out smarting you. Let her cry it out for a few nights and she'll figure it out.

Been a long time but my recollection is the pre-bed routine helps.

* Bath, etc
* ~30 mins of reading (from a parent, adjacent to the child in bed)
* 10-15 mins of lying beside the child with lights off (other than maybe a small nightlight). We usually did counting of glow-in-the-dark stars/planets on the ceiling.

Good luck. May seem tough now but boy do I wish, a lot of times, that I could go back to that time.

Put'em to work in the yard for several hours
Good supper
Hose them down
Put to bed by 7pm

"Most nights ends up in our bed or someone sleeps with her."

found the problem

jja79 said:

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She knows one of you will pick her up and stay or take her to your bed. She's out smarting you. Let her cry it out for a few nights and she'll figure it out.

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Yeah - this is the best route imo

Couple fingers of bourbon ought to do it

CuriousAg said:

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2.5 year old who takes an hour plus to go to sleep. Most nights ends up in our bed or someone sleeps with her.

She used to sleep like a hibernating bear. It has all gone to hell the last 4 months.

Do we introduce the childproof locks and let her scream like hell?

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Here's where you're shooting yourself in the foot. You're gonna have to rip off the bandaid.

Cut out the bed sharing. Come up with a good bedtime routine to give her a long runway to calm down, lock the door, and white knuckle it until the new boundary sets in for her.

Routine is key. Does she nap in the afternoon? Might be time to cut it out. My 5 year old stopped taking naps at two. It was a pain in the ass to deal with him late in the afternoon sometimes, but he was easy to put to bed with melatonin about 30 min before bed and a routine of dinner, play until 7, bath, book and then bed. He also gets to listen to a CD book that has a calming voice. He still follows this now. He knows once the door closes. It is not to open, unless he needs to go potty. Also, mommy and daddy's bed is just for mommy and daddy. Everyone always sleeps only in their own bed. You have to be the parent and make a stand. No exceptions.

Melatonin gummy

Give it back to the parents.

Is she teething molars? Try checking so see if she has discomfort and give motrin.

If not, it can just be a growth phase. BTDT good luck. Keep up the bedtime routine and it will get better. I know that is no help.

Now I watch the across the street people with a screaming toddler as I walk out to the car with my teenagers and kinda miss those days.

Scotts Tot said:

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CuriousAg said:

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2.5 year old who takes an hour plus to go to sleep. Most nights ends up in our bed or someone sleeps with her.

She used to sleep like a hibernating bear. It has all gone to hell the last 4 months.

Do we introduce the childproof locks and let her scream like hell?

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Here's where you're shooting yourself in the foot. You're gonna have to rip off the bandaid.

Cut out the bed sharing. Come up with a good bedtime routine to give her a long runway to calm down, lock the door, and white knuckle it until the new boundary sets in for her.

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Yep, gotta knock off the behavior that gets her what she wants. You just have to deal with it. Set boundaries and MAINTAIN THEM. Make this a lifelong habit to raise happy children.

We locked our youngest in her room when she wouldn't stay in bed and after a few nights she realized she wasn't going to get her way.

SockDePot said:

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Benadryl

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This

Sea Speed said:

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We locked our youngest in her room when she wouldn't stay in bed and after a few nights she realized she wasn't going to get her way.

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This right here. Our 2yo would get out of bed immediately once we left the room. Turned the locking doorknob around. He'd get out of bed, realize he couldn't open the door, then crawl back in bed and sleep like a rock.

Indica typically helps me fall asleep

A few thoughts and scenarios

1. NEVER let a child sleep in your bed.
2. NEVER sleep in a child's room.
3. Once the door is shut ... you stay in room until you throw up or morning.

4. The kid has a UTI - is she more irritable than usual? Has she had any accidents? can go on for weeks
5. She has pinworms. have you noticed her itching her bottom? can go on for months
6. She has lice. have you noticed her itching her head? shave her head and burn down your house

Lots of good advice already. Biggest one I'd point out is that you and your spouse need to be on the same page, regardless of the direction you choose.

It doesn't feel very good to have one parent try to establish a routine while the other instantly craters the first time the kid cries.



A few things I haven't seen mentioned:
Try to incentivize the child to stay in their bed all night long. Start with whatever will work (we used "you can have some m&ms in the morning if you stay in your bed all night long"). Even if your child forgets, you should still give them the reward you promised. Morph this from physical rewards to verbal praise ("big kids sleep in their own bed") but continually reinforce praise to sustain habit ("you are such a big kid for staying in your bed all night!").

Make the bed a happy place. Talk about all the good things that happened today. Read books. Special blanket/pillow covers. Lots of hugs and kisses in bed. When lights go out, even listening to calm, quiet stories played from a device can be effective.

As silly as it sounds, talk to your child about why they don't want to sleep in their bed. Usually they are scared. Dark? Night light. All alone? Stuffed animals. FOMO? Make very clear that this is bedtime for kids and parents.

General sleeping rules that apply for all adults can help for kids, too. Keep the house cold. Hot bath/shower before bed. Wear socks to sleep. Dim all lights and continue to dim up to an hour before bed time.

Our daughter is about to be 7 and still has issues like OP is mentioning. We've never let any of our kids sleep in our beds.

We've tried just about everything short of melatonin nightly and I'm not about that. We read books, praise, discipline, we've done it all.

She just doesn't need sleep. Even after long days camping, DisneyWorld, etc. she wants to stay up and is awake by 6am. It blows my mind.

Our kids are completely different. One can sleep 15 hours and will just randomly go take naps or put herself to bed and the other will be wide awake all night long and rise with the sunset. Not as extreme as what yours does, but it is crazy how different these 2 kids are. Guess which one this is. TKO

Another idea:

Relay the story about the monster under the bed that attacks kids who get out of bed.

ETA: Inspiration for my comment was this Far Side comic from years ago.

I second all Ginormus said.

Had the same issue with the oldest of four girls while she was still in her baby bed.

The (now ex-)rib couldn't handle the crying and screaming.
I finally got through to her that she had to buck up and NOT get the girl out of bed - let her cry - when she realizes nobody is coming to get her out of bed - she will go to sleep.

It took over an hour of crying and screaming for over a month. Then a regular routine and no problems.

Sea Speed - I completely understand the difference in kids. Second daughter would get sleepy, get up and put herself to bed as soon as she could walk.

I hesitate to use any type of drug or medicine to solve the symptom - fix the problem - don't just treat the symptom. Most of the time it's a psychological connection/training that needs to be done, but sometimes can be a physical ailment as mentioned above.

For y'all talking about 2 - 2.5 year olds... Are y'all's toddlers still in their cribs? Are they crawling out?

We have a baby that will be 2 in a couple weeks. She's still in her crib and I don't see that changing anytime soon. She has never once tried to crawl out. When we put her down at night she lays there until she falls asleep. I don't think we'll take her out of the crib until she starts trying to crawl out or outgrows it.

As others have mentioned, we've had the same routine for her since she was at least 5 months old, with slight variations as she's aged and stays up a little later.

• At 6 months: Dinner around 5:45, bath, read books, and in bed by 6:30 - 6:45. We also began the cry it out method at around 5.5 months. It took about 4 days, but she eventually quit crying for us and sleeping throughout the night.
• Around 18 months: Dinner 5:45-6, bath, read books, and in bed by 7.
• Now at 23 months: Dinner at 6, some limited playtime before bath time, bath, read books, and in bed by 7:30.

txaggie_08 said:

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For y'all talking about 2 - 2.5 year olds... Are y'all's toddlers still in their cribs? Are they crawling out?

We have a baby that will be 2 in a couple weeks. She's still in her crib and I don't see that changing anytime soon. She has never once tried to crawl out. When we put her down at night she lays there until she falls asleep. I don't think we'll take her out of the crib until she starts trying to crawl out or outgrows it.

As others have mentioned, we've had the same routine for her since she was at least 5 months old, with slight variations as she's aged and stays up a little later.

• At 6 months: Dinner around 5:45, bath, read books, and in bed by 6:30 - 6:45. We also began the cry it out method at around 5.5 months. It took about 4 days, but she eventually quit crying for us and sleeping throughout the night.
• Around 18 months: Dinner 5:45-6, bath, read books, and in bed by 7.
• Now at 23 months: Dinner at 6, some limited playtime before bath time, bath, read books, and in bed by 7:30.

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our daughter was in her crib until a month or so before her 2nd birthday. our son was born 20 months after she was. so she got evicted for him after we moved him out of the bassinet in our room. she would have stayed longer. not a climber.

son was in it until around 2. he's a climber and was ready to get out in a bed like his sister.

number 3 is on the way. we will see what the timeline is like for this one.

That's what dad did.

for those of you that said to switch the door and lock them in... does that not concern you from a safety perspective?

txaggie_08 said:

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For y'all talking about 2 - 2.5 year olds... Are y'all's toddlers still in their cribs? Are they crawling out?

We have a baby that will be 2 in a couple weeks. She's still in her crib and I don't see that changing anytime soon. She has never once tried to crawl out. When we put her down at night she lays there until she falls asleep. I don't think we'll take her out of the crib until she starts trying to crawl out or outgrows it.

As others have mentioned, we've had the same routine for her since she was at least 5 months old, with slight variations as she's aged and stays up a little later.

• At 6 months: Dinner around 5:45, bath, read books, and in bed by 6:30 - 6:45. We also began the cry it out method at around 5.5 months. It took about 4 days, but she eventually quit crying for us and sleeping throughout the night.
• Around 18 months: Dinner 5:45-6, bath, read books, and in bed by 7.
• Now at 23 months: Dinner at 6, some limited playtime before bath time, bath, read books, and in bed by 7:30.

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We switched our son out of a crib around 2 even though he never really attempted to crawl out. More or less just decided it was time. Switched him to a Montessori style bed and even then, when he would wake up he wouldn't get out of bed until someone came and got him up. There is no real set age to transition out of a crib just what you and your spouse decide is best. As another poster said they did because they had another one on the way. To each their own, I don't totally remember our reasoning other than we wanted to.

Man, I'd be worried switching ours over to a toddler bed, she is high energy, especially as she knows it's bedtime and wants to fight it, and I could see it being real hard to keep her in there. We've seemed lucky that she hasn't decided yet to try and climb out.