I just went to a bachelor party a few weeks ago, and it was good clean fun. We bought a bunch of table dances for the bachelor and drank like fish. I'm married, and did not get any table dances, just don't think it's right for me. When I first started dating my wife, used to go to strip clubs fairly often and here's what I told her why (laugh if you wish, but it's the truth):

If you're just going out for a night of drinking with you buddies and want to hang out together with no intention of chasing women, a strip club is a good place because:

1)Comfortable chairs, no standing around a crowded bar
2) Great service, they always have plenty of waitresses who are usually really cool
3) Strip clubs play the best music, and
4) Strip clubs most always have the best sound systems
5) You get to look at naked women

I've said it before and i'll say it again. I would much rather my SO go to a strip club then a regular club.

anyone ever been to heartbreakers in Houston???

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slinkyjim02
posted 11:55a, 3/23/2004



Twila,

Why not go to find out for yourself? There have been other members of the trashy tat clique that have offered to go, I think...

Believe it or not, I've seen women there with their guys every time I've been to an upscale strip club (not that it's THAT many times...)

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twila
posted 11:57a, 3/23/2004



Thank you, ninja. I think if it's actually happening, it's not really paranoia so much as awareness...

Slinkyjim, I'm already dancing around an eating disorder, thank you. I don't need to WATCH my boyfriend cheat on me, I'm not sure that's going to fix my self esteem...

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Does this mean that going to a strip club = cheating? Or is it getting a "dance?" Or are you implying that said BF would go to "the back room" for some extracurricular activitie$?

I'm serious here. What is the level of involvement that it takes for you to consider it cheating?

A lapdance is so much better when the stripper is crying.

Nothing worse than a stripper with no self-confidence, eh?

Cubby, if your girlfriend took off all her clothes and writhed around on some other guy's lap, would you be upset? Would it make a difference if she paid him to let her do it?

Would I break up with someone for going to a strip club, no, I would not.

But, if I saw it happen, I don't think I could be cool with it.

I would not care if my bf/hubby went to a strip club. If it was an all the time thing, yes that would become an issue, but for a party or something (as long as he told me in advance) it would not bother me. I guess I'm a trusting person . . . luckily so far I haven't been burned

(well that I know of)

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Cubby, if your girlfriend took off all her clothes and writhed around on some other guy's lap, would you be upset? Would it make a difference if she paid him to let her do it?

Would I break up with someone for going to a strip club, no, I would not.

But, if I saw it happen, I don't think I could be cool with it.

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How is this a fair comparison? I think the debate here is about letting SO's go to strip clubs...not whether SO's should actually strip.

I have no problem with the fact that some women choose to make their money off guys stare at them while they dance around naked, but it's pretty low on the list of things I'd like Skinky to do in the workforce...I don't think those two ideas are at odds - do you?

Dammit it, slinky! You're so controlling!



And be nice to twila.

In both situations someone is naked on someone's lap.

The difference is in the feelings you have about it. You don't have any feelings for the stripper, you don't consider it cheating because it really doesn't mean anything to you. You love your wife and don't want anyone to treat her the way you're treating that stripper. Plus she's special to you and you don't want to share her.

This is how I feel about it. Most of the world disagrees with me. Again, I just don't want to see it. I can even know it happened, and I'll be sad and hurt but it's not a dealbreaker. Because I realize that it doesn't mean the same thing to him.

Don't worry, Skinky, we're just talking about it. It's an interesting discussion, I think.

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I've said it before and i'll say it again. I would much rather my SO go to a strip club then a regular club.

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reason #562

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twila
posted 3:04p, 03/23/04



Cubby, if your girlfriend took off all her clothes and writhed around on some other guy's lap, would you be upset? Would it make a difference if she paid him to let her do it?

Would I break up with someone for going to a strip club, no, I would not.

But, if I saw it happen, I don't think I could be cool with it.

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1. If I had a girlfriend, my wife would be pretty upset about it.

2. All-nude places have not been specifically brought up in this thread. That's a slightly different scenario, and is not at all typical.

3. Your example is not the same thing as a guy going to a strip club and possibly geting a "dance", and you know it.

Would I be upset if she gave a dude a few bucks to dance around for her in his underwear and maybe grind around a little? Not unless it was a regular thing.

If she went alone or once a week, I might worry about it. If it's once a year or two (as in for a special occasion like a bachelorette party) with her friends, I don't think it's a big deal. Especially not if it revs her up and then she comes home to me.

[This message has been edited by Cubby '96 (edited 3/23/2004 3:33p).]

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reason #562

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why she is still single?

good one, kyle

Cubby,
1) Sorry, should have specified, girlfriend or wife.

2) Good point. That does make it different.

3) I don't know anything of the sort. I think you guys don't like that question because it's a little close to home.

Male strippers are different, I think, because most women attach more emotion to sex than men do. That's a whole different thread.

Guys, remember, this is how I feel about this. I'm not making any moral judgements here.



[This message has been edited by twila (edited 3/23/2004 3:44p).]

In Okinawa I saw a Philipino chick strip to Willie Nelson's "Blue eyes crying in the rain".

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You love your wife and don't want anyone to treat her the way you're treating that stripper

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Like has been repeated on this thread, this discussion is pointless if the guy in question is already an a**. I don't make a habit of having my wife dance in front of me at a bar while half naked, but other than that, I wouldn't "treat" a stripper like a piece of meat, though many guys do. I don't think that part of "strip club behaviour" is cool.

I'm curious...does it bother you if your guy looks at porn?

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I don't make a habit of having my wife dance in front of me at a bar while half naked

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Would I get a bigger allowance if I did this?

I should have worded that differently. I don't mean treating the stripper badly, just seeing her as an object. Of course, by dancing naked for a living she's sort of setting herself up for that...

As hypocritical as it may sound, porn doesn't bother me. No touching or give and take in that. But, if he had to look at naked pictures of other women to get excited, that would bother me. That would be a dealbreaker.

Also, I would never even ask a guy to not go to a strip club with his friends, and I don't like the idea of making him do or not do anything. This is all what I'm thinking as this goes on.

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3) I don't know anything of the sort. I think you guys don't like that question because it's a little close to home.

Male strippers are different, I think, because most women attach more emotion to sex than men do. That's a whole different thread.

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Not close to home, but it is different to be the aggressor in the situation. From what I can tell, the dancer calls the shots in the dance, not the watcher/payer. You suggested that my S.O. would be doing the dancing and paying someone to watch. It is a different situation.

Not to mention SHE would be getting undressed in your scenario, not the other way around. I'm not sure what planet that isn't different on, but maybe you can tell me. Every customer I've ever seen (in my limited experience) at a strip club has had at least pants and a shirt on, no exceptions.

does anyone else REALLY love slinkyjim and skinky?

they are just the cutest.

and man is it fun to hear cubby say he has a wife

That's a very good point about being the agressor. I hadn't thought about it that way.

It's important that you guys understand that what we know with our heads and what we feel with our hearts is completely different. My post about watching him cheat on me is how I know that I would feel if I ever saw that. It's also important that you understand I'm not saying that you cheat on your wives. I'm really not, that's not what I mean.

There were a number of posts on this thread from guys and girls that confirmed that what happens at strip clubs isn't innocent... It is what it is, and I don't have to like it.

cubby, isn't the guy the aggressor since he had to ask for the lap dance and pay the money? I don't care if my guy goes to a strip club, but it is not cool for him to get lap dances ever.

Twila, that just depends on the person and the club. I refuse to go to a cheap strip club, and don't have any desire to go to an all-nude. If I'm going to pay money, it's a nicer establishment. Those have to follow the law, which generally keeps things pretty tame.

Are there VIP rooms, even at the more expensive clubs, where things can happen? I honestly can't tell you. They cost a ton of money, but they probably do allow just about anything.

But just being in a regular, respectful strip club - no, you don't see what I think some posters were alluding to. That's different at the cheap places, which is why I wouldn't go there.

(Note: I do not frequent strip clubs, by any means...I just like to talk about them, apparently).

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cubby, isn't the guy the aggressor since he had to ask for the lap dance and pay the money? I don't care if my guy goes to a strip club, but it is not cool for him to get lap dances ever.

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A) the women are the aggressors. they pester you worse than a new born again christian.
B) I doubt it is at all a regular thing, but if you really think your guy never gets a lapdance, you are naive.

"respectful strip club" - isn't that an oxymoron?

Just kidding, making a joke to lighten the mood.

Most guys go to be with their friends. Most guys don't have sex with strippers. It does depend on the place.

But most importantly, it depends on the guy.

This is true. Slinky's only been twice. Once for his best friend's bachelor party and the other for his. I made his friends take him to one. I wanted to hear all about it. I wanna go next time.

I think I would know better than you whether my guy goes to a strip club or gets lap dances. We're not talking about masturbating here - not every guy does it or lies about it.

Can't we all just get along? We could meet at The Gold Cup and talk it out!

you implied that your guy goes to strip clubs with his buddies. If he never goes to strip clubs, good for him, but if he does occasionally go, with a group of guys, there will be an occasional lapdance, maybe even bought for him by the guys who think it is funny to jack with their buddy.

That's the best idea I've seen on this thread tiny!

There is no sex in the Champagne Room!

He's been once since I've known him, but that's beside the point. To imply that someone is naive for trusting her boyfriend to tell her the truth insults her, calls her boyfriend a liar, and also speaks volumes about how you value honesty in a relationship.

[This message has been edited by Hot Steel 02 (edited 3/23/2004 4:40p).]

What orion said.

Not personal, HS02, but it is pretty naive to think that any guy who would go to a club would not get a dance or go up to the stage and hand a gal a buck or two.

Here's an analogy. It would be like if a group of girls go shoe shopping together, with absolutely no intentions of making a purchase. All the shoes in the store are cute and would match anything, but they all come with a full set of ugly luggage (baggage) and are waaaaay out of your price range. For a couple of dollars, you and/or your friends could look at them up close and fantasize about having such a pair of shoes. Then you can go home in the comfy, cute, favorite pair of shoes you wore there.

Or you could be that one girl who goes along, but doesn't want to look closely for fear that her favorite pair of shoes will get mad because she looked at other shoes. Your friends would probably pay for you to see the "exotic" shoes up close the first time, just in case you might be inclined to rat them out. Or something like that.