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There is no sex in the Champagne Room!

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I wouldn't bet any money on that theory.

to HS02: missed your last post while I was typing. I am sure that you two have talked about it and if that's what he told you, he's probably being honest. It's just not true in most cases.

[This message has been edited by Cubby '96 (edited 3/23/2004 4:45p).]

that's pretty lame cubby, funny, but lame. It does not address the point I was making. My point is though I have not been in this situation, if my boyfriend went to a strip club and told me that he did not have a lap dance, then I would believe him because I trust him to tell me the truth. that is not being naive; it is being a trusting person involved in a healthy relationship. Orion is implying that I should suspect that my boyfriend is lying to me and possibly accuse him of lying. To me that would be like asking my boyfriend if he cheated on me repeatedly but never believing the answer - that is unhealthy and a sign of a bad relationship.

Do I think everyone goes and doesn't get a lap dance? no. Do I choose to believe my boyfriend when he makes a statement that I have no way of confirming other than faith? yes.

what if you get carded going into one with your husband?

If you've ever known any strippers, I mean, taken the time to talk to them and listen to them, you know you don't want anything, sexual or otherwise to do with them. WHen I was in college, a group of us used to cut class about once a month and take off to the local joint in the afternoon. Nobody there expect us, but the girls still had to do their sets. We NEVER tipped, but since there wasn't anything else to do, the girls would come and sit and talk with us. Let me tell you, they are only doing it for the money. One told a delightful tale of how she banged a married guy after hours one night. He, being drunk, gave her his business card which had his cell and home number on it. She called the home number and the wife answered. She hung up. The next day, she called the guy at work. She then proceeded to blackmail his ass to the tune of about $50,000 over the next year. She was really proud of it and the other girls said they'd do it in a heartbeat. Those girls are bad, I mean, BAD news. Catching something or blowing a wad of cash is the least of your concerns around them.

Better not let them in your car either. One girl was quiet upset when she was going to another club with a guy after work. The guy got stopped and asked out of the car. Of course, they were going to search her and the car, so she dropped her COKE under his seat to avoid the pinch. He got arrested, she called a cab to go home.

I've been to the tit bar with girlfriends. I just point out to them that it is the ultimate in people watching. You just have to understand that strip bars aren't about sex, they're about money.

I'd strongly advise any guy to take his girl to a club, but don't act like an "animal" just act normal and have a great time watching the stupid guys throw their money away. If the girl is curious about what a table dance involves, buy them one. Strippers love to do table dances with other girls because they make more money that way.

Once your girl has seen the circus, and more importantly, the strings, she won't worry about you going anymore...as long as you don't blow the house payment there.

That is why I am perfectly OK letting my SO go if they want. I mean... for bachelorette parties and on occasion. It certainly couldn't be a regular event. Most men wouldn't screw a stripper with their friend's... well, you get my point.

Just my thoughts:

BaitShack, that post about the Philipino stripper was the first post to make me lol in a long time.

Twila, don't sweat what the people on here are saying. 99% of what you are saying is logical and makes perfect sense and you have every right to believe and feel what you do.

TCLTC, your posts make a lot of sense when it comes to men. You seem to be one of the few women that understand men well. I don't know you but your fiance is lucky to have a woman that understands what is going through his head.

I lived behind a strip club for two years. My bedroom window opened up to the Centerfolds parking lot. It was a regular occurance for strippers to walk guys to their cars and spend 10-15 min in the car with them, then the girl would walk back inside. Also, most strippers aren't any hotter than the average female, they are just willing to do things the average female is not. Believe me, seeing them in the daylight is very unimpressive most of the time.
Lastly, for the most part, strippers are just dirty and nasty. I wouldn't want to touch most of them with a ten foot pole. One of the beautiful things of having a wife(assuming you have a good wife and marriage) is 1.)It's real, not about money. 2.) It's safe 3.) You aren't going to get in trouble for it/make her feel unloved. Most men would agree that the real thing, with a woman you love is 100X better than shelling out money for some dirty ho that looks like crap the moment they flip the lights on.

Just my 2 cents.

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Orion is implying that I should suspect that my boyfriend is lying to me and possibly accuse him of lying. To me that would be like asking my boyfriend if he cheated on me repeatedly but never believing the answer - that is unhealthy and a sign of a bad relationship.

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HS- My post assumed that he went with the guys with some regularity. Now you say he's only been once. I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about.

I would not want my husband to go to a strip club then come home to me and think about her while he's w/me. If I don't have what it takes to excite my husband then I need to doing something different.

As long as we all agree that the woman who wrote the letter needs some help then everyone has a valid opinion.
Whether or not you like your SO going to strip clubs is one thing. Losing sleep about something that *might* or *might not* happen and threatening to go pick up a guy at a bar is just s-t-r-a-n-g-e.

And seriously, slinky. How about that raise in my allowance?

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and man is it fun to hear cubby say he has a wife

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Congrats Cubby, didn't know you two had gotten married!

As for the thread topic, I wouldn't have a problem with my SO going occasionally for bachelor parties or something, if he told me ahead of time. In 3 years of dating I think he has been to a strip club once, not really a big deal to me. I wouldn't be pleased if he bought a lap dance for himself, yes I know that's as far as it would go, but I'd prefer he just watch others. I've been in a few strip clubs myself, to me it just seems like a big scam to get guy's money for doing very little, and for most guys it's just about entertainment not sex.

As for the letter-writer, she's entitled to her feelings, and if she and her husband are on the same page about it, no problem. Like how some people in relationships cut their single friends of the opposite sex out of their lives, to me it seems a little unnecessary and paranoid, but if it applies to both of you hey whatever floats your boat. But she seems to distrust her husband. Maybe he has done something to earn that distrust, or maybe she just is insecure. In either case, it only takes suspicion and mistrust to damage a relationship, not proof.

Thanks, TCLTC and 2001%er. We just got married on 2/29.

Agreed, the chick who wrote the letter is crazy. Those of you ladies who don't want your spouse/s.o. to go might well have legitimate personal reasons. I think 2001%er prety much nailed the point when she described the experience thusly:

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I've been in a few strip clubs myself, to me it just seems like a big scam to get guy's money for doing very little, and for most guys it's just about entertainment not sex.

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Anyway, you're all entitled to your own opinions. Well, most of you anyway.

2/29 huh...sounds like a sneaky way to avoid anniversary presents 3 years out of 4! How's that work?

Tell the Mrs. congrats from G & I as well, maybe we'll run into you guys at Amy's again or something.

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There is no sex in the Champagne Room!

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I wouldn't bet any money on that theory.

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Anytime you put the money down to get in the "VIP" room, you're betting your money on that theory.

hth