We're closing in on when the final divorce papers can be filed and people keep bugging me about it so it's time for the divorce thread. I know someone will ask, yes we did go to counseling. Multiple times, there was an attempt.
I wrote out the whole thing but went with a tl;dr version instead... which is still tl. The reason I called it last summer was because things were never going to work out. I took care of the kids, cooking, cleaning, the house, cars, and earning most of the income while she sat around on the computer and her phone all the time. She talked about how she would change but I can't think of anything that lasted longer than a week because change requires willpower.
Budgeting didn't work because she'd drop $20-100 on stuff from Amazon all day. Dead bedroom which she finally came out of the closet about a few months before the split up, no surprise there. The kids weren't getting the attention they needed from her because she couldn't handle the stress from them being around. When they acted like little kids she'd lose her temper at them and pawn them off on her mom (who in turn used the kids as leverage against her). The internet and her phone were her top priorities. She'd stay up until 2 or 3 most days and it screwed up her sleep and basic hygiene. Internet addiction is definitely a thing.
It was clear there would be no end and that this was the right choice. Since then the house is somehow a lot cleaner, mountains of clutter gone, and the kids are easier to handle and better behaved. She has them on weekends where they go BSC at her mom's house. She has yet to have them on her own but swears it'll happen someday.
I'm doing a lot better but not much of an update on life from her end. Same old crap plus the train wreck that is the WSW online dating world. The only reason I pay attention is because in theory someday she'll have the kids on weekends and it would be good to know.
I wrote out the whole thing but went with a tl;dr version instead... which is still tl. The reason I called it last summer was because things were never going to work out. I took care of the kids, cooking, cleaning, the house, cars, and earning most of the income while she sat around on the computer and her phone all the time. She talked about how she would change but I can't think of anything that lasted longer than a week because change requires willpower.
Budgeting didn't work because she'd drop $20-100 on stuff from Amazon all day. Dead bedroom which she finally came out of the closet about a few months before the split up, no surprise there. The kids weren't getting the attention they needed from her because she couldn't handle the stress from them being around. When they acted like little kids she'd lose her temper at them and pawn them off on her mom (who in turn used the kids as leverage against her). The internet and her phone were her top priorities. She'd stay up until 2 or 3 most days and it screwed up her sleep and basic hygiene. Internet addiction is definitely a thing.
It was clear there would be no end and that this was the right choice. Since then the house is somehow a lot cleaner, mountains of clutter gone, and the kids are easier to handle and better behaved. She has them on weekends where they go BSC at her mom's house. She has yet to have them on her own but swears it'll happen someday.
I'm doing a lot better but not much of an update on life from her end. Same old crap plus the train wreck that is the WSW online dating world. The only reason I pay attention is because in theory someday she'll have the kids on weekends and it would be good to know.
