it's weird how one sided we view these situations. I could tell very similar stories to those here about a crazy ex-wife from friends, but I also know that all those guys contributed to the demise of the marriage in their own ways.
The Divorce Thread
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Last: 3 yr ago by Gilligan
I know several dads personally who have 50/50 custody (including my current husband). I also can tell you the flip side of the BSC ex wife with my BSC ex husband. I paid for my divorce after being a SAHM and gave him whatever he wanted to get out. Didn't touch his retirement, took less than the state calculated child support, gave him first pick of any of the furniture or items out of the house, let him pick his custody (he chose the minimum even when my lawyer recommended more), etc. 5 years later he is still incredibly bitter about our divorce to the point that my 13 year old said he needs to get help to get over it. He hasn't paid a dime of child support in almost 2 years. He hasn't provided insurance on the kids (court ordered) in almost 4. He doesn't work. He barely shows up for every other weekend visitation (typically once a month or less and take them to his parents house or whatever woman he is seeing) and has never taken his month in the summer or anything like that. He didn't buy the kids a single Christmas gift this year and kept the money his parents gave them for Christmas. I can go on and on. Divorce sucks and there are crazies on both sides. Choose who you have kids with wisely and if you didn't then just make the best of it. The kids will grow up and figure it out.
Your friend is as bad or worse than the ex with BPD.
Yeah if he's like this now I'm sure he was a real treat to be married to.
Sorry to hear that.
Its definitely not just the guys that get screwed. What sucks the most is when kids get the shaft.
I respect the fact that you are not forcing the issue of spending time withe the kids with him. your kids will see that and be closer to you and it will help them in the future as they realize you have handled a difficult situation with the grace that you have.
although i sure as hell would be holding his feet to the fire regarding child support and insurance.can't stand dead beat dads.
that piece of work is out of his goddam mind for letting a catch like you get away.
Its definitely not just the guys that get screwed. What sucks the most is when kids get the shaft.
I respect the fact that you are not forcing the issue of spending time withe the kids with him. your kids will see that and be closer to you and it will help them in the future as they realize you have handled a difficult situation with the grace that you have.
although i sure as hell would be holding his feet to the fire regarding child support and insurance.can't stand dead beat dads.
that piece of work is out of his goddam mind for letting a catch like you get away.
Okay, he got 50/50 and other stuff, because you CONCEDED that to him. However, if you had contested everything allowed to you under the system (which most do), it's a virtual certainty he would not have ended up with such a "fair" deal.ShinerBlonde said:
I know several dads personally who have 50/50 custody (including my current husband). I also can tell you the flip side of the BSC ex wife with my BSC ex husband. I paid for my divorce after being a SAHM and gave him whatever he wanted to get out. Didn't touch his retirement, took less than the state calculated child support, gave him first pick of any of the furniture or items out of the house, let him pick his custody (he chose the minimum even when my lawyer recommended more), etc. 5 years later he is still incredibly bitter about our divorce to the point that my 13 year old said he needs to get help to get over it. He hasn't paid a dime of child support in almost 2 years. He hasn't provided insurance on the kids (court ordered) in almost 4. He doesn't work. He barely shows up for every other weekend visitation (typically once a month or less and take them to his parents house or whatever woman he is seeing) and has never taken his month in the summer or anything like that. He didn't buy the kids a single Christmas gift this year and kept the money his parents gave them for Christmas. I can go on and on. Divorce sucks and there are crazies on both sides. Choose who you have kids with wisely and if you didn't then just make the best of it. The kids will grow up and figure it out.
On the one hand, it sucks that your kids have a ****ty dad. On the other, you must be one hellacious piece of ass if, after walking away with nothing, your ex is still this broken. You want to post some pics, an onlyfans link, or something?ShinerBlonde said:
I know several dads personally who have 50/50 custody (including my current husband). I also can tell you the flip side of the BSC ex wife with my BSC ex husband. I paid for my divorce after being a SAHM and gave him whatever he wanted to get out. Didn't touch his retirement, took less than the state calculated child support, gave him first pick of any of the furniture or items out of the house, let him pick his custody (he chose the minimum even when my lawyer recommended more), etc. 5 years later he is still incredibly bitter about our divorce to the point that my 13 year old said he needs to get help to get over it. He hasn't paid a dime of child support in almost 2 years. He hasn't provided insurance on the kids (court ordered) in almost 4. He doesn't work. He barely shows up for every other weekend visitation (typically once a month or less and take them to his parents house or whatever woman he is seeing) and has never taken his month in the summer or anything like that. He didn't buy the kids a single Christmas gift this year and kept the money his parents gave them for Christmas. I can go on and on. Divorce sucks and there are crazies on both sides. Choose who you have kids with wisely and if you didn't then just make the best of it. The kids will grow up and figure it out.
Lol, I'm married again now so I'll pass on an OF account. There are several TexAgs posters who know me personally who can account for the fact that my ex is just crazy and looking for someone to blame for his bad choices.
Know someone that was straight up diagnosed with BPD but didn't believe or accept it. Basically denied it to the entire family. She was diagnosed while going through marriage counseling.
Still married but will trash her husband to anyone that will listen. Been telling everyone that she's getting a divorce for years. It's extremely awkward because she continues to have his kids. The kicker is that she has 2 degrees from A&M and hasn't held a job for more than a couple months. Been fired or quit every single one.
Other than that she's a sweet person, but literally hates her husband.
Still married but will trash her husband to anyone that will listen. Been telling everyone that she's getting a divorce for years. It's extremely awkward because she continues to have his kids. The kicker is that she has 2 degrees from A&M and hasn't held a job for more than a couple months. Been fired or quit every single one.
Other than that she's a sweet person, but literally hates her husband.
Now this response reminds me of the old GB.
Outstanding
Outstanding
Haven't lol'd that good from a Texags post in a while
Definitely sympathize with you. Hang in there. I agree though that you should hold him to his support obligations. Dads that are irresponsible are bad for everyone.ShinerBlonde said:
I know several dads personally who have 50/50 custody (including my current husband). I also can tell you the flip side of the BSC ex wife with my BSC ex husband. I paid for my divorce after being a SAHM and gave him whatever he wanted to get out. Didn't touch his retirement, took less than the state calculated child support, gave him first pick of any of the furniture or items out of the house, let him pick his custody (he chose the minimum even when my lawyer recommended more), etc. 5 years later he is still incredibly bitter about our divorce to the point that my 13 year old said he needs to get help to get over it. He hasn't paid a dime of child support in almost 2 years. He hasn't provided insurance on the kids (court ordered) in almost 4. He doesn't work. He barely shows up for every other weekend visitation (typically once a month or less and take them to his parents house or whatever woman he is seeing) and has never taken his month in the summer or anything like that. He didn't buy the kids a single Christmas gift this year and kept the money his parents gave them for Christmas. I can go on and on. Divorce sucks and there are crazies on both sides. Choose who you have kids with wisely and if you didn't then just make the best of it. The kids will grow up and figure it out.
Wow!
That was a lot to read and I feel bad for so many of y'all.
I hope all of you struggling that you find happiness.
~G
That was a lot to read and I feel bad for so many of y'all.
I hope all of you struggling that you find happiness.
~G
A good friend of mine got married super young to lady my wife and I are still really good friends with. I remember one Friday night Happy Hour he showed up and told us he was getting divorced. We were all shocked. They seemed super happy together and were the 1st of our group of friends to get married. That night, he told me and our buddies all about how bad it had gotten. How this was building for a long time, she had terrible anxiety issues we didn't know about, was verbally abusive in the background, had an unhealthy relationship with her parents, she needed therapy and medication for anxiety... basically, it was a murderers row of things said in this thread. Also, he was the breadwinner and she wasn't supportive. We drank it up with him that night... and were super sad that he drew such a raw deal. He could find somebody way better and got dealt such a bad lot of luck that he didn't see these things before getting married. But none of us would have guessed any of that of his spouse either.
A couple weeks later, I went to a mutual friend's birthday party with my now wife. Ran into the lady we both knew and my wife sort of delicately said sorry, gave regards, whatever to our mutual friend. She had sort of an indifferent reaction to it which was odd... very different from the overly emotional anxious response I was expecting, but also indifference par for the course for her.
Turns out she caught him screwing a stripper at their apartment months ago, they kept it quiet, were going thru therapy and all that... then she caught him with another girl at their apartment that week before the Happy Hour.
He mentioned none of this to us. And that's the moment I knew that with basically no exceptions, there are always 2 ridiculous sides of a story to a divorce. If you have a friend who gets divorced, you are only hearing the one side, there's probably some truth to it but you definitely can't call it honest. Consequently, I've never known a divorced person to raise their hand on a relationship and say 'my bad!' All I'm saying... take all divorce stories with a heavy grain of salt.
A couple weeks later, I went to a mutual friend's birthday party with my now wife. Ran into the lady we both knew and my wife sort of delicately said sorry, gave regards, whatever to our mutual friend. She had sort of an indifferent reaction to it which was odd... very different from the overly emotional anxious response I was expecting, but also indifference par for the course for her.
Turns out she caught him screwing a stripper at their apartment months ago, they kept it quiet, were going thru therapy and all that... then she caught him with another girl at their apartment that week before the Happy Hour.
He mentioned none of this to us. And that's the moment I knew that with basically no exceptions, there are always 2 ridiculous sides of a story to a divorce. If you have a friend who gets divorced, you are only hearing the one side, there's probably some truth to it but you definitely can't call it honest. Consequently, I've never known a divorced person to raise their hand on a relationship and say 'my bad!' All I'm saying... take all divorce stories with a heavy grain of salt.
Taking the stripper back to his own apartment. ****ing rookie mistake
For sure. Just saying, most divorce stories involve a touch of hubris and a touch of rigidness (most divorcees I know handle change really really poorly which is not a good thing when you are hitching up with somebody for life)... none of them involve any elements of 'my bads'.
And the hormone stuff is super sexist and offensive in my opinion. Males have hormonal changes too. People tend to confuse hormones with change but neglect to acknowledge that lives change too. Dudes especially act all surprised and sad when they have 2-3 kids and their wife acts tired and stressed often. 'They need meds and to take care of the anxiety'... but they won't acknowledge that having 2-3 kids is a massive and infinitely more stressful life change than when they were dating their spouse and just having fun whenever they want to. Then they talk about how their spouse is a total psycho now and legitimately crazy and blah blah blah and really needs to get help and can't believe they couldn't spot this.
And the hormone stuff is super sexist and offensive in my opinion. Males have hormonal changes too. People tend to confuse hormones with change but neglect to acknowledge that lives change too. Dudes especially act all surprised and sad when they have 2-3 kids and their wife acts tired and stressed often. 'They need meds and to take care of the anxiety'... but they won't acknowledge that having 2-3 kids is a massive and infinitely more stressful life change than when they were dating their spouse and just having fun whenever they want to. Then they talk about how their spouse is a total psycho now and legitimately crazy and blah blah blah and really needs to get help and can't believe they couldn't spot this.
Yeah... definitely not smart.
"Kids are different today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And though she's not really ill
There's a little yellow pill
She goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And it helps her on her way, gets her through her busy day
And I hope you're able to finally get off that island.Gilligan said:
Wow!
That was a lot to read and I feel bad for so many of y'all.
I hope all of you struggling that you find happiness.
~G
I feel safer on my island...The Fife said:And I hope you're able to finally get off that island.Gilligan said:
Wow!
That was a lot to read and I feel bad for so many of y'all.
I hope all of you struggling that you find happiness.
~G
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