I'm having a wild ride to get to Cali from austin due to the storms. Currently in Las Vegas. Give me stories.
Give me your worst airline stories.
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Last: 5 yr ago by rebag00
I was waiting in the boarding area to leave Evansville, Indiana back in the 1990s. I was going home after being on a project site in that shtthole town for the previous two weeks. I was watching a storm roll in when they made an announcement for everyone to head to the basement. I spent the next 45 minutes in the basement of the Evansville airport because a tornado touched down on the airport property. Luckily there was no damage or injuries. However, the plane I was supposed to catch got diverted, and all flights for the rest of the evening were cancelled.
I must say that basement was a lot cleaner and nicer than I expected.
I hate Evansville, Indiana.
I must say that basement was a lot cleaner and nicer than I expected.
I hate Evansville, Indiana.
Worst ever - AA MD80 from DFW-AUS Mueller circa 1998/1999.
3-2 seating, I'm in the Window on the 2 side.
Enormously fat sweaty dude is in the aisle. Fat sweaty dude spills over into my seat and drips sweat on me for an hour. That sucked.
Honourable mention - AA 787 from LAX-SYD after being delayed 24 hours due to weather out of IAH.
Psycho fat woman in the middle seat starts tripping out due to the fact that I'm a big guy and will be siting next to her for 15 hours. About 5 hours into the flight, she switches seats with her husband so this guy sticks his elbow into my ribs for the next 10 hours. That was pretty bad but... the fact that he got his CPAP mask out and wore it for 8+ hours took the cake. As if his psycho ***** wife wasn't enough, having freaking Darth Vader sitting next to me and elbowing me in the ribs was just too much. Luckily for them, I had been on the road for two weeks and was exhausted.
Since you're in Las Vegas, I'll humour you with a LAS-DAL flight a couple years ago. We're in the back of the bus on LUV and we're surrounded by a Black family who have all been in Vegas for the week. Well... the sister in front of me starts having a medical emergency panic attack somewhere over Albuquerque. The sister next to her calls for help and luckily, a urology nurse from East Texas responds and a knee surgeon from SATX responds. Another hour of drama ensues and finally the good doctor gives her some sort of pill to knock her out about 20 minutes before we landed in Dallas. Root cause was, anxiety because it was only her 2nd airplane flight ever combined with a week of drinking and smoking in Vegas after being diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and a heart condition.
Enjoy your trip!
3-2 seating, I'm in the Window on the 2 side.
Enormously fat sweaty dude is in the aisle. Fat sweaty dude spills over into my seat and drips sweat on me for an hour. That sucked.
Honourable mention - AA 787 from LAX-SYD after being delayed 24 hours due to weather out of IAH.
Psycho fat woman in the middle seat starts tripping out due to the fact that I'm a big guy and will be siting next to her for 15 hours. About 5 hours into the flight, she switches seats with her husband so this guy sticks his elbow into my ribs for the next 10 hours. That was pretty bad but... the fact that he got his CPAP mask out and wore it for 8+ hours took the cake. As if his psycho ***** wife wasn't enough, having freaking Darth Vader sitting next to me and elbowing me in the ribs was just too much. Luckily for them, I had been on the road for two weeks and was exhausted.
Since you're in Las Vegas, I'll humour you with a LAS-DAL flight a couple years ago. We're in the back of the bus on LUV and we're surrounded by a Black family who have all been in Vegas for the week. Well... the sister in front of me starts having a medical emergency panic attack somewhere over Albuquerque. The sister next to her calls for help and luckily, a urology nurse from East Texas responds and a knee surgeon from SATX responds. Another hour of drama ensues and finally the good doctor gives her some sort of pill to knock her out about 20 minutes before we landed in Dallas. Root cause was, anxiety because it was only her 2nd airplane flight ever combined with a week of drinking and smoking in Vegas after being diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and a heart condition.
Enjoy your trip!
Pretty sure there's a poster on here that was in a commercial airline crash.
I've had tons of bad stories but a few that stick out are losing an engine between Houston and NYC. Had to emergency land with all the fire equipment and stuff. Worst part ended up being that we had to wait 8 hours for a new aircraft and the seats weren't the same so they said sit wherever. It was the closet I've ever seen to multiple fights breaking out.
Couple years ago landing in Denver from Cabo and had the family with me. Crappy weather and terrible turbulence. Did two touch and go's before landing the third time. People puking everywhere. Sounds and smells got bad fast. I was trying not to puke while telling the kids everything is all good.
Right after 9/11 we were waiting to board and a middle eastern guy in a robe was in the waiting area. He was sitting and swaying mumbling to himself. You could cut the tension with a knife. Right before we boarded he started screaming in Arabic. Some people ran, some froze. Given the time and what life was like then it was terrifying. They ended up coming on the intercom and said he was a blind special needs guy but a lot of people didn't get on that flight.
Few years ago in Amsterdam I'm staying at the hotel across the street at the airport. Get back from dinner (trains dump off under the airport) and get caught in the outside security area by Dutch SWAT locking us in. Car with a bomb on the street between the airport and my hotel (my room faced that way). His behind a concrete pillar for like an hour then said f it and found a bar with some coworkers and drank until 4:00 am when the released us. My hotel room had a big x on the door from where they cleared it. I was too tired and drunk for it to be unsettling.
I've had tons of bad stories but a few that stick out are losing an engine between Houston and NYC. Had to emergency land with all the fire equipment and stuff. Worst part ended up being that we had to wait 8 hours for a new aircraft and the seats weren't the same so they said sit wherever. It was the closet I've ever seen to multiple fights breaking out.
Couple years ago landing in Denver from Cabo and had the family with me. Crappy weather and terrible turbulence. Did two touch and go's before landing the third time. People puking everywhere. Sounds and smells got bad fast. I was trying not to puke while telling the kids everything is all good.
Right after 9/11 we were waiting to board and a middle eastern guy in a robe was in the waiting area. He was sitting and swaying mumbling to himself. You could cut the tension with a knife. Right before we boarded he started screaming in Arabic. Some people ran, some froze. Given the time and what life was like then it was terrifying. They ended up coming on the intercom and said he was a blind special needs guy but a lot of people didn't get on that flight.
Few years ago in Amsterdam I'm staying at the hotel across the street at the airport. Get back from dinner (trains dump off under the airport) and get caught in the outside security area by Dutch SWAT locking us in. Car with a bomb on the street between the airport and my hotel (my room faced that way). His behind a concrete pillar for like an hour then said f it and found a bar with some coworkers and drank until 4:00 am when the released us. My hotel room had a big x on the door from where they cleared it. I was too tired and drunk for it to be unsettling.
Not the worst ever but my red eye out of sf just got delayed for a plane change, I just want to sleep
I got on a plane and I had to sit in the middle seat for 6 hours coming back from Hawaii.
.
Dad died in '88. I had to take a red eye AE puddle jumper from DFW to Beaumont for funeral and stuff. Had a 2 hr wait for a bad storm to pass through, then flew through the same bad storm. It was only me and the stewardess on board and she said if she got me a drink, I'd just wear it. She would have been right.
Upon getting back to DFW, the baggage carousel caught my coat hangers and chewed up the two suits I owned. Woman I'd been talking to about my trip started crying for me. I just started laughing.
Not a good weekend...
Upon getting back to DFW, the baggage carousel caught my coat hangers and chewed up the two suits I owned. Woman I'd been talking to about my trip started crying for me. I just started laughing.
Not a good weekend...
I am on my way back from Vegas and didn't get an upgrade to 1st class, so I am jammed in the back of a Continental flight hoping that they close the door asap since there is no one in the seat next to me (I am in the aisle seat). That's when I hear it. The unmistakable sound of a grotesquely fat sack of goo's thunderous footsteps coming down the jetway towards the plane. I think the plane actually began to slightly rock as this Oreo hoarding tub of sheet approached the door. As this rhino thighed hump landed the first hoof on board he gasped and nearly sucked all the oxygen off the freaking plane al la Chuck Norris. I couldn't quite see him yet as there was a hillbilly sitting in front of me with a hat he stole from that crazy old neck who used to be on Gunsmoke (more on the rodeo crowd who was in town later). The guy sitting in the window seat had a horrified look on his face and muttered something to the effect of, "awww ****". A quick glance around confirmed that the slowly approaching, heavy sweating, chimichanga nuking Orcan was in fact inbound to the seat in-between me and the poor ******* sitting in the window seat. When Kong (referred to as SOG Sack of Goo from here on out) was about 15 rows away the guy sitting behind me just started laughing his a$$ off, uncontrollably. He continued to laugh as he verbally noted that SOG had a rather large bag of fast food which he was clutching like it was the hope diamond (he had a bag in the other which turned out to be a travel scrabble game). SOG couldn't hear him as he had taken a break at aisle 23 to rest, I actually thought me might down one of the three burgers he had crammed into his feedbag. As SOG finished his cool down and began sauntering towards me he came into my full view.
Couple observations here: First, this guy was at least 4 bills and might have made 5 hundy after mowing down the grub in the feed bag he had in his paws. Second, dude had a serious case of gator arms which was further accentuated by the set of meat curtains he called a chest. Third, this guy hadn't seen his crank in years due to the heinous keg fuda jutting out like patch's deek at an SPCA open house. Fourth, SOG had alarmingly small feet, I mean dude was pretty skilled at balancing all that goo on those size 8's, oh, and big surprise that SOG was sans socks and his shoes were untied.
When SOG arrived at row 31 I had already grudgingly accepted my fate and had rose out of my seat to let him collapse into the middle seat. Guy in the window seat was just staring blankly into the bulkhead shaking his head and the guy in the seat behind me was pretty much weeping from laughing so hard. That laughter would soon change to horror as SOG had brought a few friends with him on board. Their names were a$$ funk, horrific body odor, & sleep apnea.
Needless to say after they long thirty yard hike from the terminal to the plane, SOG was ready to cover down on some grub. Before ordering the belt extender to secure his gargantuan ass to the seat he already had a couple dozen fries smashed into his enormous pie hole. That's when I realized that this guy smelled like rancid cheese from a goat's nuts. I almost laughed but realized I was going to smell this for the next 2 hours. I had lost sight of the dude in the window seat and feared for his well being especially if SOG mistakenly identified any of his fingers as fries. Shortly after take off SOG basically sheets his size 68W trousers. I can't state it any other way. Dude, grunted and the sound that followed basically equated to mud hitting curtains. I heard something from the guy by the window but do to the distance the sound had to travel around SOG I couldn't tell what the hell it was. I started belly laughing as did several around us including the guy behind me who had not stopped laughing since SOG arrived. SOG didn't seem to care at all and continued his feast. The smell that followed can only be described as Chile Releno A$$. All laughter ceased and I actually thought I might vomit, my biggest fear was that this guys a$$ funk might knock the plane out of the sky. We had several more NBC a$$ releases from SOG an all were equally devastating. I stood in the galley for most of the flight. When I returned to my seat SOG was in a cheeseburger induced coma and was snoring very loudly and was sweating profusely. His travel scrabble game was littered all over his carcass and there were letters in my seat and on the floor. I still couldn't see the guy in the window seat but was sure he was dead by now. I returned to the galley to ask the attendant if I could sit in one of their jump seats for the remainder of the flight and she just burst out laughing and apologized.
Anyhow, I hate fat people and travel scrabble.
Couple observations here: First, this guy was at least 4 bills and might have made 5 hundy after mowing down the grub in the feed bag he had in his paws. Second, dude had a serious case of gator arms which was further accentuated by the set of meat curtains he called a chest. Third, this guy hadn't seen his crank in years due to the heinous keg fuda jutting out like patch's deek at an SPCA open house. Fourth, SOG had alarmingly small feet, I mean dude was pretty skilled at balancing all that goo on those size 8's, oh, and big surprise that SOG was sans socks and his shoes were untied.
When SOG arrived at row 31 I had already grudgingly accepted my fate and had rose out of my seat to let him collapse into the middle seat. Guy in the window seat was just staring blankly into the bulkhead shaking his head and the guy in the seat behind me was pretty much weeping from laughing so hard. That laughter would soon change to horror as SOG had brought a few friends with him on board. Their names were a$$ funk, horrific body odor, & sleep apnea.
Needless to say after they long thirty yard hike from the terminal to the plane, SOG was ready to cover down on some grub. Before ordering the belt extender to secure his gargantuan ass to the seat he already had a couple dozen fries smashed into his enormous pie hole. That's when I realized that this guy smelled like rancid cheese from a goat's nuts. I almost laughed but realized I was going to smell this for the next 2 hours. I had lost sight of the dude in the window seat and feared for his well being especially if SOG mistakenly identified any of his fingers as fries. Shortly after take off SOG basically sheets his size 68W trousers. I can't state it any other way. Dude, grunted and the sound that followed basically equated to mud hitting curtains. I heard something from the guy by the window but do to the distance the sound had to travel around SOG I couldn't tell what the hell it was. I started belly laughing as did several around us including the guy behind me who had not stopped laughing since SOG arrived. SOG didn't seem to care at all and continued his feast. The smell that followed can only be described as Chile Releno A$$. All laughter ceased and I actually thought I might vomit, my biggest fear was that this guys a$$ funk might knock the plane out of the sky. We had several more NBC a$$ releases from SOG an all were equally devastating. I stood in the galley for most of the flight. When I returned to my seat SOG was in a cheeseburger induced coma and was snoring very loudly and was sweating profusely. His travel scrabble game was littered all over his carcass and there were letters in my seat and on the floor. I still couldn't see the guy in the window seat but was sure he was dead by now. I returned to the galley to ask the attendant if I could sit in one of their jump seats for the remainder of the flight and she just burst out laughing and apologized.
Anyhow, I hate fat people and travel scrabble.
gigemJTH12 said:
I am on my way back from Vegas and didn't get an upgrade to 1st class, so I am jammed in the back of a Continental flight hoping that they close the door asap since there is no one in the seat next to me (I am in the aisle seat). That's when I hear it. The unmistakable sound of a grotesquely fat sack of goo's thunderous footsteps coming down the jetway towards the plane. I think the plane actually began to slightly rock as this Oreo hoarding tub of sheet approached the door. As this rhino thighed hump landed the first hoof on board he gasped and nearly sucked all the oxygen off the freaking plane al la Chuck Norris. I couldn't quite see him yet as there was a hillbilly sitting in front of me with a hat he stole from that crazy old neck who used to be on Gunsmoke (more on the rodeo crowd who was in town later). The guy sitting in the window seat had a horrified look on his face and muttered something to the effect of, "awww ****". A quick glance around confirmed that the slowly approaching, heavy sweating, chimichanga nuking Orcan was in fact inbound to the seat in-between me and the poor ******* sitting in the window seat. When Kong (referred to as SOG Sack of Goo from here on out) was about 15 rows away the guy sitting behind me just started laughing his a$$ off, uncontrollably. He continued to laugh as he verbally noted that SOG had a rather large bag of fast food which he was clutching like it was the hope diamond (he had a bag in the other which turned out to be a travel scrabble game). SOG couldn't hear him as he had taken a break at aisle 23 to rest, I actually thought me might down one of the three burgers he had crammed into his feedbag. As SOG finished his cool down and began sauntering towards me he came into my full view.
Couple observations here: First, this guy was at least 4 bills and might have made 5 hundy after mowing down the grub in the feed bag he had in his paws. Second, dude had a serious case of gator arms which was further accentuated by the set of meat curtains he called a chest. Third, this guy hadn't seen his crank in years due to the heinous keg fuda jutting out like patch's deek at an SPCA open house. Fourth, SOG had alarmingly small feet, I mean dude was pretty skilled at balancing all that goo on those size 8's, oh, and big surprise that SOG was sans socks and his shoes were untied.
When SOG arrived at row 31 I had already grudgingly accepted my fate and had rose out of my seat to let him collapse into the middle seat. Guy in the window seat was just staring blankly into the bulkhead shaking his head and the guy in the seat behind me was pretty much weeping from laughing so hard. That laughter would soon change to horror as SOG had brought a few friends with him on board. Their names were a$$ funk, horrific body odor, & sleep apnea.
Needless to say after they long thirty yard hike from the terminal to the plane, SOG was ready to cover down on some grub. Before ordering the belt extender to secure his gargantuan ass to the seat he already had a couple dozen fries smashed into his enormous pie hole. That's when I realized that this guy smelled like rancid cheese from a goat's nuts. I almost laughed but realized I was going to smell this for the next 2 hours. I had lost sight of the dude in the window seat and feared for his well being especially if SOG mistakenly identified any of his fingers as fries. Shortly after take off SOG basically sheets his size 68W trousers. I can't state it any other way. Dude, grunted and the sound that followed basically equated to mud hitting curtains. I heard something from the guy by the window but do to the distance the sound had to travel around SOG I couldn't tell what the hell it was. I started belly laughing as did several around us including the guy behind me who had not stopped laughing since SOG arrived. SOG didn't seem to care at all and continued his feast. The smell that followed can only be described as Chile Releno A$$. All laughter ceased and I actually thought I might vomit, my biggest fear was that this guys a$$ funk might knock the plane out of the sky. We had several more NBC a$$ releases from SOG an all were equally devastating. I stood in the galley for most of the flight. When I returned to my seat SOG was in a cheeseburger induced coma and was snoring very loudly and was sweating profusely. His travel scrabble game was littered all over his carcass and there were letters in my seat and on the floor. I still couldn't see the guy in the window seat but was sure he was dead by now. I returned to the galley to ask the attendant if I could sit in one of their jump seats for the remainder of the flight and she just burst out laughing and apologized.
Anyhow, I hate fat people and travel scrabble.
C,mon. Tell everyone who really wrote that.
I just figured everyone knew..lol
goodAg80 said:
C,mon. Tell everyone who really wrote that.
Google has it on Texags in 2007 (5 years before he reigstered, and even then being an older post. RAMF 95 is the original poster it says.
https://texags.com/forums/12/topics/950125
INDEED [/gordo]ac04 said:
imo 9/11 is the worst airline story
MuckRaker96 said:goodAg80 said:
C,mon. Tell everyone who really wrote that.
Google has it on Texags in 2007 (5 years before he reigstered, and even then being an older post. RAMF 95 is the original poster it says.
https://texags.com/forums/12/topics/950125
Great detective work
I seriously thought everyone on this website had read that post before.
Was not trying to pass it off as my own...lord
Was not trying to pass it off as my own...lord
I don't have anything too terrible.
I guess the closest I've come to being a biton edge was back in 2005. Wife and I were flying back to the States after our honeymoon. It was 7/7/05. That's essentially the UK's 9/11. That was the day the suicide bombers in London attacked the tube (subway) system and killed a bunch of people. The idea that there might be more cells activated around the world passed through my mind but then I considered the odds of an Islamic terrorist targeting a plane leaving from St. Thomas and realized I was being an idiot.
I guess the closest I've come to being a biton edge was back in 2005. Wife and I were flying back to the States after our honeymoon. It was 7/7/05. That's essentially the UK's 9/11. That was the day the suicide bombers in London attacked the tube (subway) system and killed a bunch of people. The idea that there might be more cells activated around the world passed through my mind but then I considered the odds of an Islamic terrorist targeting a plane leaving from St. Thomas and realized I was being an idiot.
Pressurization failure over Anchorage. Blew my sinuses up. Couldnt fly for six weeks. Still bothers me a little bit today.
The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you never know if they are genuine. -- Abraham Lincoln.
gigemJTH12 said:
I just figured everyone knew..lol
No kidding. This and the Ryan's Steakhouse story are probably the two most infamous posts in the entire history of this site.
LAX->AUK
16hrs. 2yo that couldn't pop his little ears, and wanted everyone on the plane, all the fishes in the deep blue sea, and especially me, the guy sitting next to him, to know about his discomfort. His dad was deeply apologetic, I told him the easy fix was that he would order drinks when I ordered drinks, and I would drink his drinks and my drinks. I passed out to little dude wailing and woke up an hour before we landed to little dude wailing.
16hrs. 2yo that couldn't pop his little ears, and wanted everyone on the plane, all the fishes in the deep blue sea, and especially me, the guy sitting next to him, to know about his discomfort. His dad was deeply apologetic, I told him the easy fix was that he would order drinks when I ordered drinks, and I would drink his drinks and my drinks. I passed out to little dude wailing and woke up an hour before we landed to little dude wailing.
I was on this flight that had some South American rugby team on it and we were flying over the Andes. Well, wouldn't you know it...the plane crashes in the mountains.
Everything was cool for a little while until we started getting hungry.......
Everything was cool for a little while until we started getting hungry.......
Was one of the last people in line to get on a plane from Reykjavik to DFW. Got pulled out of line by security and taken to the other end of the airport for a full search (no finger probe though) and then they released me. Sprinted all the way across the airport and they had to take me out onto the tarmac in a cart, open the door and let me on the plane. Needless to say, my fiance was freaking out a bit.
Mine takes about 20 mins to tell and involves a guy tweeking on meth from Sydney to lax..highlights are that he was sniffing his feet and ate my food.......with my fork
RAMF in 2005: https://texags.com/forums/6/topics/537792MuckRaker96 said:goodAg80 said:
C,mon. Tell everyone who really wrote that.
Google has it on Texags in 2007 (5 years before he reigstered, and even then being an older post. RAMF 95 is the original poster it says.
https://texags.com/forums/12/topics/950125
wangus12 said:
Was one of the last people in line to get on a plane from Reykjavik to DFW. Got pulled out of line by security and taken to the other end of the airport for a full search (no finger probe though) and then they released me. Sprinted all the way across the airport and they had to take me out onto the tarmac in a cart, open the door and let me on the plane. Needless to say, my fiance was freaking out a bit.
BONUS for spelling that right.
Traveled to Jacksonville about 10 years ago for work and landed as a TS was off the coast about to make landfall. We landed and I got in the rental and drove about 20 miles to my hotel on the south side of JAX. Spent the next 2 days in meetings and nobody really paid attention to the TS, even though it poured the entire time with crazy winds. White knuckle drive back to the airport thinking there was no way my departing flight was taking off, but yeah, it wasn't delayed or cancelled. I sat in my seat still thinking they're going to be cancelling it anytime now as the plane was rocking while at the jetway. But nope, flight's still a go. We take off and I've never felt turbulence like that in my life. At times, I'd swear we fell 100 feet, then we'd come right back up rocking back and forth. When we finally got above the storm, it was smooth sailing, but getting there was the most terrified I've ever been on a flight.
Slicer97 said:gigemJTH12 said:
I just figured everyone knew..lol
No kidding. This and the Ryan's Steakhouse story are probably the two most infamous posts in the entire history of this site.
Ryan's Steakhouse predates Texags. First time I read it was on gobig12.com. It is probably even older than that.
Supposedly the original post was from this old website: http://www.ihos.com/steakhouse.html It was posted on there as early as 2000.Burdizzo said:Slicer97 said:gigemJTH12 said:
I just figured everyone knew..lol
No kidding. This and the Ryan's Steakhouse story are probably the two most infamous posts in the entire history of this site.
Ryan's Steakhouse predates Texags. First time I read it was on gobig12.com. It is probably even older than that.
Edit: I think I found the original post ... because apparently I have nothing better to do at work: https://groups.google.com/forum/#!msg/alt.tasteless/4LH4Lv8TVeA/XqZBSzsdG7EJ
3 gate changes...
7 of us running up to the gate, Agent looks right at us and no look shuts the door.
We requested a manager, 5 more people showed up, then argued with her for 10 minutes and the plane was still at the gate!
Hello, you know that all 12 of us are in the airport. Maybe, just maybe you did not make the announcement in the correct area, IE that 2nd gate change. Just maybe you might wait just 1 extra minute, or make another announcement?
Not like I had been sitting at the airport an hour early or anything...
7 of us running up to the gate, Agent looks right at us and no look shuts the door.
We requested a manager, 5 more people showed up, then argued with her for 10 minutes and the plane was still at the gate!
Hello, you know that all 12 of us are in the airport. Maybe, just maybe you did not make the announcement in the correct area, IE that 2nd gate change. Just maybe you might wait just 1 extra minute, or make another announcement?
Not like I had been sitting at the airport an hour early or anything...
Headed to Vail last year...
Get on plane, sit at end of runway for over an hour. Finally line up to take off 8PM, litteraly lined up to take off. Captain says, were not going. Takes us back to gate, we de plane and leave at 7am. Nobody was allowed to get their luggage...
Get on plane, sit at end of runway for over an hour. Finally line up to take off 8PM, litteraly lined up to take off. Captain says, were not going. Takes us back to gate, we de plane and leave at 7am. Nobody was allowed to get their luggage...
Bangalore to Paris... Air India.
The plane doesn't smell right. Mechanically fine, but humanity has stained this jet.
Old man across the aisle from me, but still within about an arm's reach, decides to lay down facing away from me. His white pants are stained with excrement on the back. Fresh excrement. Wet. Many hours of this. Ready to exit at Paris, but find out Air India at the time was not allowed to have people leave their jets during a same-plane layover. Stuck next to Mr. Wet Streak for an hour and a half while a cleaning crew daintily boarded and half-assedly cleaned.
On the good side, I could see the Eiffel Tower from my window.
Also learned: People from India for some reason didn't know how or refused to open their sealed water cups:
They handed them all to me. I probably opened about 150 of them during that flight.
The plane doesn't smell right. Mechanically fine, but humanity has stained this jet.
Old man across the aisle from me, but still within about an arm's reach, decides to lay down facing away from me. His white pants are stained with excrement on the back. Fresh excrement. Wet. Many hours of this. Ready to exit at Paris, but find out Air India at the time was not allowed to have people leave their jets during a same-plane layover. Stuck next to Mr. Wet Streak for an hour and a half while a cleaning crew daintily boarded and half-assedly cleaned.
On the good side, I could see the Eiffel Tower from my window.
Also learned: People from India for some reason didn't know how or refused to open their sealed water cups:
They handed them all to me. I probably opened about 150 of them during that flight.
OK, you asked...
Thursday was the last day of school for me at A&M, like every other graduating Sr. No finals, school was done and I had actually passed, that is a whole other story...
Anyway, head over to the chicken, sit down and start drinking. Bunch of friends show up, blah, blah, blah, good times.
Some time during the night I ordered a full plate of nachos, sour cream, cheese jalopeno's, the works!!!!
Stay out till 2am, go home. I have a 6am flight to Dallas for an interview at 10am.
This is where the actual story starts....
At 5, hop out of bed hop in the crapper, and Butkis... nothing...
Head to airport, standing in line to board, and we have movement, not just any movement, but movement of seismic proportions. I can't not board the plane, were talking 12 seats. So, we get on.
The nachos, have mixed with the sour cream and beer and created some form of Nuclear Fusioned Mustard gas. The movement allowed the gas to start seeping out. When they closed the cabin door, things went from bad to worse. I could not get up, get out, get anywhere... At that point, self preservation took over. Mustard gas started seeping out, and there was nothing I could do.
Understand pre 911, 12 people could board a flight, sit down and take off in about 8 minutes. So there we were in the air, they guy next to me had water coming out of his eyes. We leveled off and the stewardess as they were still called walked back and forth a couple of times. People started noticiing, everyone started noticing.
The stewardess grabbed the mic, and said, we are so sorry but we do not know what is wrong with the toilet, but we apologize for the smell.
I was like a 7 year old on Christmas morning, Do you not understand? I had just been given a green flag to LETTER RIP!!!!
Now Ags, if you gonna do something you might as well do it well. I had a freaking pilot light going, and I just turned it up to blow torch level. l released 4 million pounds of mustard gas inside that 12 seat plane. I burnt a hole in my seat and tore that 12 seat plane up. There was no where to hide, nothing to cover you face with. It was just full on bad...
They opened the door when we landed I am pretty sure before we were done rolling into the jetway.
Not my proudest moment, but life happens! And hell no I did not get the job.
Thursday was the last day of school for me at A&M, like every other graduating Sr. No finals, school was done and I had actually passed, that is a whole other story...
Anyway, head over to the chicken, sit down and start drinking. Bunch of friends show up, blah, blah, blah, good times.
Some time during the night I ordered a full plate of nachos, sour cream, cheese jalopeno's, the works!!!!
Stay out till 2am, go home. I have a 6am flight to Dallas for an interview at 10am.
This is where the actual story starts....
At 5, hop out of bed hop in the crapper, and Butkis... nothing...
Head to airport, standing in line to board, and we have movement, not just any movement, but movement of seismic proportions. I can't not board the plane, were talking 12 seats. So, we get on.
The nachos, have mixed with the sour cream and beer and created some form of Nuclear Fusioned Mustard gas. The movement allowed the gas to start seeping out. When they closed the cabin door, things went from bad to worse. I could not get up, get out, get anywhere... At that point, self preservation took over. Mustard gas started seeping out, and there was nothing I could do.
Understand pre 911, 12 people could board a flight, sit down and take off in about 8 minutes. So there we were in the air, they guy next to me had water coming out of his eyes. We leveled off and the stewardess as they were still called walked back and forth a couple of times. People started noticiing, everyone started noticing.
The stewardess grabbed the mic, and said, we are so sorry but we do not know what is wrong with the toilet, but we apologize for the smell.
I was like a 7 year old on Christmas morning, Do you not understand? I had just been given a green flag to LETTER RIP!!!!
Now Ags, if you gonna do something you might as well do it well. I had a freaking pilot light going, and I just turned it up to blow torch level. l released 4 million pounds of mustard gas inside that 12 seat plane. I burnt a hole in my seat and tore that 12 seat plane up. There was no where to hide, nothing to cover you face with. It was just full on bad...
They opened the door when we landed I am pretty sure before we were done rolling into the jetway.
Not my proudest moment, but life happens! And hell no I did not get the job.
It takes two hands to open them. They don't want to use their poop hand on their little water cups.Athanasius said:
Bangalore to Paris... Air India.
The plane doesn't smell right. Mechanically fine, but humanity has stained this jet.
Old man across the aisle from me, but still within about an arm's reach, decides to lay down facing away from me. His white pants are stained with excrement on the back. Fresh excrement. Wet. Many hours of this. Ready to exit at Paris, but find out Air India at the time was not allowed to have people leave their jets during a same-plane layover. Stuck next to Mr. Wet Streak for an hour and a half while a cleaning crew daintily boarded and half-assedly cleaned.
On the good side, I could see the Eiffel Tower from my window.
Also learned: People from India for some reason didn't know how or refused to open their sealed water cups:
They handed them all to me. I probably opened about 150 of them during that flight.
No terrible, just odd. We flew from Seattle to South Korea on the long flight across the Pacific, which was fine. However, our final destination was Beijing, so we changed planes and carriers, and changed cultures in the process. It was an older Boeing, so right away I was wondering how good Chinese flight mechanics are. And then everyone started to light cigarettes. As a comedian once said about Air France flights, flying that airline was like being in a cigarette. I no longer felt conspicuous as the white guy with the blonde wife, but as the guy who wasn't smoking.
When we touched, we'd been flying for some 16 hours. As I got into the terminal, someone with the airline held a sign with my name. She had 5 other employees behind her. I was like, do I have a Chinese arrest warrant or something? No, it just turned out my luggage missed the transfer, and it would be here on the next flight in an hour. But that was my introduction to the idea that China has a lot of cheap labor - those 5 hangers-on were just there to witness their best English speaker explain something disappointing to an American. I presume they thought I might start yelling or something.
When we touched, we'd been flying for some 16 hours. As I got into the terminal, someone with the airline held a sign with my name. She had 5 other employees behind her. I was like, do I have a Chinese arrest warrant or something? No, it just turned out my luggage missed the transfer, and it would be here on the next flight in an hour. But that was my introduction to the idea that China has a lot of cheap labor - those 5 hangers-on were just there to witness their best English speaker explain something disappointing to an American. I presume they thought I might start yelling or something.
I was on a SW flight from Harlingen to San Antonio and there was one of those bad lines of thunderstorms that form in the spring, coming in to SA from the west. We circled for an hour as the pilot tried to find a way around, but finally, he got on the PA and told us that we were going to have to punch through the calmest part of the storm line. I thought I was in a tumble dryer. A man in front of me did not have his seatbelt on and got slammed in to the ceiling. Big cut on the head, lots of blood. I ended up holding a bandage to his head as we were coming in for a landing.
Good times.
Good times.
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