I posted this originally last month on the general board forum about coworkers who got their comeuppance.
https://texags.com/forums/12/topics/3040560 I think it is appropriate for this board.
On my third deployment to iraq, I was on the Brigade Staff serving as the ABE NCOIC (Assistant Brigade Engineer Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge for those of you who are NOT familiar with Army acronyms) One of the Brigade Battle Captains, who I will call CPT Foodstealer, had a very bad habit of swiping other people's food and food supplies, without asking, from the fridge that was in the Brigade TOC (Tactical Operations Center). I received a care package from my mom that included a mason jar full of homemade salsa. When I opened the jar of salsa, I hurt a pop and a hissing sound and smoke lifted up in the air from the salsa. Hearing the hissing sound and seeing the smoke made me pretty certain that the salsa had not survived it's transit from central Texas to Baghdad. that is when I came up with the idea of how we could break CPT Foodstealer of his food swiping habit. I poured out about a third of the salsa, stirred it up real good, and then put it in the Brigade fridge. A couple of days later, my plan came to fruition as CPT Foodstealer decided to swipe the jar of homemade salsa without bothering to ask who it belonged to and took it to his desk in the office directly across the hall from the ABE shop. As the ABE OIC, the Brigade's Terrain team (the guys who made and printed all the maps for the Brigade), and I watched him, CPT Foodstealer eats
ALL the salsa. As he is eating his chips and salsa, we could hear him telling the other Battle Captain that he shared his office with that he had gotten lucky and found an open jar of homemade salsa that had been in the fridge for a couple of days and it didn't have a name on it (not that a name would have stopped him from swiping the salsa), and it was Really good salsa. After about 45 minutes after he finished eating the salsa, he jumped up from his desk and
LITERALLY RAN OUT of the TOC holding his stomach. As he was running out the TOC, we could hear his stomach gurgling. I'm not sure if he made it to the porta-sh**ter or not, but he didn't return to his desk in his office for about 4 hours. When he Finally did return to his desk, he was pale, covered in sweat, holding his stomach, and looked really weak. He then told the other Battle CPT "I think I must have eaten some bad salsa or something." The other Battle CPT just laughed at him and said "serves you right for eating somebody else's food." Most of the Brigade staff got a good laugh out of this. I know it was pretty sh**y of me to put the salsa in the fridge, knowing it had spoiled before it got to me in Baghdad and I (almost) felt sorry for CPT Foodstealer for suffering the way he did (that lasted about 5 minutes). On the bright side, CPT Foodstealer probably lost about 15-20 pounds of excess weight that he was carrying, and it
DID CURE HIM of his habit of stealing other people's food out of the fridge.