No question-----POTY.

I can't breathe

Funny stuff.
Fat people suck.

RAMF! Genius, pure Genius. Three worst things about flying are sitting next to a Fat person, a crying baby (thank god for Ipod), and someone with major BO.

Drop a Valium and all is well.

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I heard something from the guy by the window but do to the distance the sound had to travel around SOG I couldn’t tell what the hell it was.

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Trying.... to.... breathe...

[This message has been edited by sodiumacetate (edited 12/6/2005 1:27p).]

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Thank you for submitting your vote to TexAgs.com

Currently, your vote is the 1 vote in support of this message.

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SWEET MOTHER, THAT'S ONE FREAKING HILARIOUS POST!!!

I felt like I needed to reply to this.

holy crap that was amazing.

[This message has been edited by fgtntexag07 (edited 12/6/2005 2:03p).]

Very wll done!

I can empathize. A few years ago I got a travel tip from a magazine. "Select an exit row as these have more leg room." I was interviewing around the country and made several reservations prior to travel. This was the worst travel advice ever. All this accomplished was guarnteeing that I would sit next to someone with a thyroid problem on every stinking leg of the flights. It was brutal.

Don't give up on a garment just because of a little age.

wow. I needed that laugh today.

Damn thats so funny I have to read it in parts.
Did SOG look like this?



[This message has been edited by LoudestWHOOP! (edited 12/6/2005 2:30p).]

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As this rhino thighed hump landed the first hoof on board he gasped and nearly sucked all the oxygen off the freaking plane al la Chuck Norris.

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Just waiting for a coworker to ask why it sounded like I was strangling a laughing child in my office for the last 5 minutes.

With the possible exception of Worm's "classless behavior", that is the funniest **** ever posted in the 5 years I've been reading this board.

Hahahaha! Awesome story!

I had a similar situation.

Although I had selected the seats prior to the flight (I usually go for window so I can lean against it for sleeping), something screwed up and I was in the middle seat for a 3 hour flight.

This guy at the window seat was easily two times my size. I'm an average-sized girl and all, but that took away one of my armrests. I thought no biggie, until this other guy sat on the aisle.

He wasn't large or anything, but 15 minutes into the flight he was asleep. And he is not one of those "calm sleepers." I swear, he was epileptic. He made weird noises and continuously hit me with his elbows and legs. I spent a lot of the flight back in the galley talking to the stewardesses. They understood my plight and we shared coffee.

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RAMF that's the reason I firmly believe that fat people should have to pay more for everything.

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Some airlines are trying to do that now. Seriously obese people, for instance, are supposed to buy two tickets, since they'll take up most of two seats when they fly.

Southwest, for instance, has this policy, but I'm not sure how often they try to enforce it. They've been legally threatened by fat gobs who claim that such a policy is discriminatory.

A few years ago, long before security was tightened following 9/11, I used to fly Southwest a lot and would often jump on the airplane just as they were closing the door.

On a late evening flight from El Paso to Dallas, I was the last person on board and it was a full flight. So, as I walked to the rear of the plane, I was horrified to see a 500+ pound guy sitting in the aisle seat and, of course, the "empty" seat (a little of it was empty, anyway) was the middle seat.

He had raised the armrest and, as I sat on the front-right edge of my seat and tried to put it down, I realized that there was no way in hell he could sit in the seat with the inside arm rest down. So, I was doomed to fly for an hour and a half sitting sideways and leaning forward. To say I was pissed is the understatement of the year.

As I left the flight, I complained to the stewardess that I'd paid for a seat, but only got to use less than half of it and thought that this was grossly unfair. She was nice and apologetic about it, but there wasn't anything she could do at that time. I wrote a scathing letter to SW and they later sent me a free flight coupon, which was a nice gesture on their part.

Have read and heard about the crap Southwest gate agents get when they try to enforce the "you need two seats, so you have to buy two tickets" policy. The fat folks get all irritated and claim that they're "disabled". They threaten to file a lawsuit because of discrimination.

I'll never let a grossly obese person take half of my seat again. I'll raise hell about it long before the plane leaves the gate. I don't care if they have to stand in the galley or sit in the bathroom. If I pay for a full seat, I want a full seat. I don't care how over-active their putuitary gland may be, if that's their claim for being fat (instead of the fact they eat 15,000 calories a day).

here you go RAMF




I believe that's the third Ermey I've awarded you this year.

Good work.

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I still couldn’t see the guy in the window seat but was sure he was dead by now.

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hahahhahahahah oh god....oh god this is funny...

You should have asked the Flight Attendant for a can of "evergreen" scented air freshener and crop dusted his fat azz with the entire can.

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This guy at the window seat was easily two times my size. I'm an average-sized girl and all, but that took away one of my armrests. I thought no biggie, until this other guy sat on the aisle.

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pic?

OH hell yes, nice to be back!!


(it was even funnier the second time I read it)

Is this the guy you're talking about?

<img>texags throwing up icon.jpg</img>

______________________________________________________
no longer actually tacking on an extra year. i had to get a real job.

"hey thats journey! kick ass!"

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I'm an average-sized girl

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Post a pic, Lizzard

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That laughter would soon change to horror as SOG had brought a few friends with him on board. Their names were a$$ funk, horrific body odor, & sleep apnea.

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Awesome...RAMF is the man.

Enjoyed kicking it with you in Vegas. I'm glad I took SWA. I had some nice arse sitting next to me. It made up for my arse i lost this weekend. Great story. Ready for Vegas Round II beetch.

who was he playing scrabble with?

i've never heard of anyone playing scrabble by themselves. thats very odd.

mother****ing hilarious

I enjoyed it too man. Can't wait for Sarge to graduate from law school so we can get all the fellas together out there.

Orlando - I don't think he played, at least I didn't see him attempt to (I was standing in the galley next to the crapper), I think the letters fellout of his little velour bag when his fat a$$ passed out after demoloshing his chow.



"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

- George Orwell



[This message has been edited by RAMF 95 (edited 12/6/2005 6:07p).]

RAMF has now been granted the title Poet Laureate of TexAgs.

funny as hell. i have spread it around the office now.

hap, nice followup

Excellent work, my friend. You make Huslin' One very proud.

Where were you guys in Vegas? I was there last week on business.

Before you ask...I flew American.