[This message has been edited by Urban Ag (edited 6/10/2008 2:18a).]

I wouldnt take a bullet for my cat...neither of them.

When Mrs. Dub tells people that I love our Sheltie more than I do her, I always answer, "You can't prove that." The dog is hers, and she claims that I won't leave home because she would get the dog.

A marriage will last as long as both parties want it to last. If you think you're giving in 90% of the time, you may be doing it half the time. Marriage sucks, but it's better than living alone. Life insurance statistics prove it.

Uva Uvum Vivendo Varia Fit

you own multiple cats???

the picture gets clearer . . . . . . .

I got my Lab at Tech, she's still going strong, will turn 10 this summer. My wife sometimes complains about her, but I tell her she's just jealous because the dog is the alpha-female.

Oh, and regarding drinking, Urban's right, just drink in the other room and hide your dead soldiers (Urban once suggested in your boots, which works well). It also doesn't hurt to get the wife a little tipsy too.

Urban's also right about your wife's family. Most mother/daughters have really ****ed up relationships, the mom's like to try and control their daughters no mater how old they get. You need to make it known, REALLY EARLY ON, to your mother in law that that **** won't fly anymore.

I have a 7 year old chocolate lab. Best friend any man could ever want.

38 and single (again),

-td

[This message has been edited by TechDiver (edited 12/16/2004 1:26a).]

Being 38 and single could be fun. Depends on how you look at it. Maybe you need to meet some new friends.

If you're 38 and single you should be going out with a 20 year old topless dancer. Trust me on this. I know what I'm talking about here.

...just stay away from the bottomless dancers. Trust me, I know what Im talking about here.

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Are you sure you didn't catch it from a tractor seat while riding in your bathing suit?

Really, a little penicillin will clear that right up . . .

Good to hear I'm not the only one that gets the "why do you have to drink". I stopped once for six months just to convince her that I like to drink and it's an option I control. Hasn't stopped the whining about it though. We had our first date at 17 and I thought I'd impress her with my ability to buy beer. She drank half of one beer and handed it back saying "here you finish it". She still gets pissed when I tell her that is when I knew I was in love. After 36 years of marriage you would think they would finally accept it.

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others!"
Groucho

I wanna wife who will keep me in line when it comes to drinking and that sort of thing, like my mom does to my dad.

Hell, marriage is not that bad if you look at it from the standpoint that it won't be forever. Hell, that is such a childish thought if there ever was one. The sun won't burn forever.

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Good to hear I'm not the only one that gets the "why do you have to drink".

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That's in the Wife 101 Handbook. Most wives used to drink too.

They USED to do a lot of things. Now they do practically nothing. Hell, they don't have to. They already have their man.

Funny I thought this post was going to be a mirror of these from last year. To the day one year ago (December 14 must suck for you ce1994.)

http://texags.com/main/forum.reply.asp?forum_id=6&topic_id=286130

http://texags.com/main/forum.reply.asp?forum_id=6&topic_id=286150



I still laugh at this one.

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Dub:

My in-laws don't allow me to drink. You see, in addition to being experts on law, medicine, world politics, finances, animal husbandry, planetary orbits, genetic research and the like, they are also experts on chemical dependency and have diagnosed me as a sever chemical dependent. They came just short of telling my wife to throw out all of the forks lest I be a danger to not only myself but young son.

Thank GOD for work.
ce1994

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serious question: how long after "I do" does the fat bomb go off?

That depends on a few things. Sex stops almost immediately though.

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Sex stops almost immediately though

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This could be where many of your problems stem from...

Of course. Wedding cake seems to be some sort of anti-aphrodisiac though.

Where Highwayman's problems come from:

http://www.concordia.edu/

niiiiice

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squid
posted 2:53p, 12/12/03

1994, does your wife have a sister that I may have married? I think we share in-laws.


ce1994
posted 3:18p, 12/12/03



Squid:

She might that I don't know of. They are originally from Oklahoma so that is a distinct possibility. If you can answer yes to all of the following questions then we might share in-laws:

1) Do 99% of their comments directed toward you start with the phrase "You know what you ought to do" or some variation thereof?
2) Have they informed your wife she lives in an alimony state (when in fact she does not)?
3) Do they insist that the house you bought and are currently paying for is not good enough to raise a family in?
4) Is one a holy rolling Christian while the other is agnostic (that one kills me)?
5) Does your mother-in-law call your house no fewer than 20 times a day?
6) Do you fear your mother-in-law is in fact Satan and fear for mankind?
7) Do they consider you only a temporary problem until the law mercifully takes you away from their precious daughter?
8) Do you only enjoy being around them when you are blind drunk?
9) Would you cut off a finger as an excuse to not spend an evening at their house (trust me, when I am sober I dread it like the plague)?
10) Would you move to Lubbock, Texas to get away from them?

If yes to ALL of the above then probably yes.

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If anybody tried to diagnose me as 'chemically dependant' I would call up a teasip I know, score, drop a couple of tabs of acid into their Diet Coke and then call the police on their useless meddling asses.

Highwayman,

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serious question: how long after "I do" does the fat bomb go off?

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Right after she cuts that long beautiful flowing hair that you fell in love with.

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AGBQ01
posted 3:29p, 12/12/03

One thing I've learned about women:

Don't ever start a sentence with "Your F-in Mother..."

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ce1994
posted 3:58p, 12/12/03

AGBQ01:

Don't I know it. I was mad as hell one night and was raising all kinds of cain about this, that and the other (it all started with a credit card bill that came in...incidentally my wife does not have a paying job). Well, I was going to conclude my tirade with a "your f-ing mother" and that is when my last remaining shred of dignity was stripped away from me. After she was done with me it would have been hard to distinguish me from a pile of dirty diapers.

It all works itself out in the end. I have come to the realization that I am at the mercy of forces out of my control.

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Well, Noble made me realize something. This time last year it was worse. Strangely enough that makes me feel a little better about the drive home today.

We all go through the same nonsense man.
All of us...
Everyday ...

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If you're 38 and single you should be going out with a 20 year old topless dancer. Trust me on this. I know what I'm talking about here.

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You don't say...

I guess some handle it more gracefully. Unfortunately, I have never been known for my grace. But tomorrow is another day.

But looking at this time last year there is substantial improvement. Hell, if there is this much improvement this next year I just might be head football coach of Texas A&M heading into the MNC game.

Women are universally effed-up. It is good for a marriage for the man to join male-only organizations that require regular attendance and at least occasionaly drinking. The Rodeo committees and some of the masonic offshoots come to mind. At least thrice-yearly out-of-town jaunts without wives also have beneficent effects. Hunting, fishing, golf and gambling are good excuses. Too much togetherness can be a killer.

Uva Uvum Vivendo Varia Fit

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I mainly sit around wishing Jerry Jeff Walker would drop by and take me away from it all.

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http://texags.com/main/forum.reply.asp?forum_id=6&topic_id=286130

Now that is some funny siht!!

Try this one on for size. This buddy of mine was living with this girl for years. She was constantly hounding him about getting married. He didn't want to ruin a good thing so he held out as long as he could. Well, one day she laid down the law. Either get married or get out. So off he goes to buy her an engagement ring. He buys one and then gives it to her. All is well in the world. Fast forward one month. She calls my buddy and tells him she is up at the jeweler with her mother to exchange the one he got her for another one and she needed the receipt and more money to change the ring. I kid you not. She did that.

Needless to say, my buddy hung up the phone and called all hos buddies for a night of drinking. That was the last we ever heard of him getting married.

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She's now Mrs. Txsportsagent.