Porkchop's Astro Shanks Report 4/27/24
Score: 12-4 victory vs. the Rockies in Mexico City (where the grass is yellow and the girls are ... there)
I knew it was over when: Jose Abreu had an RBI single, which in the New Testament is the second sign of the End of Days
Lamewad of the game: The PA system in the stadium playing "All the Small Things" by Blink 182 pre-game. What the hell is going on here?
Record: 8-19 (.296)
Projected Record Pace: 48-114, which would be the team's worst record EVER by 1 game
Standings: 5th place, 6.5 games out of first
What's the good news? The A's, Angels, and Rangers all lost today, so we gained a game on all 3. We're 2.5 games behind Oakland and the Angels.
What's the bad news? After tomorrow, no more games in the Little League park.
Run Differential?: -28, 3rd worst in the AL
To get to 90 wins: 82-53 (.615)
To get to 81 wins: 73-62(.541)
Sobering news: The season is already 1/6th (16.7%) over.
Let's all admit our terrible shared opinion: We're pissed off that Abreu went 2-for-5 with 2 RBI because it prolongs his stay at first.
Who else is on the all-food team with Trey Cabbage? Darryl Strawberry, Pie Traynor, Chili Davis, CoCo Crisp, who else?
Who is in the minors to play 3B? Because Bregman is being shielded by Abreu in suckage, but holy jeez. He hit .243 last September/October, .200 in the ALDS, .231 in the ALCS (but with 3 HR to his credit), and is at .204 after 28 games In his last 54 regular season games, he has 3 HR and 14 RBI. Those are paces of 9 HR and 42 RBi for 162 games. Woof.
Life is better with a beagle