Joey just whiffed for the 48th time this year. 48 times in 83 at bat. 48 times in 26 games. That's a pace for 299 strikeouts in 162 games. Why is he cursed with this fragile 6 foot 5 230 pound body.?
*** CAPITAL GAINS: THE 2024 JOEY GALLO APPRECIATION THREAD ***
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Last: 14 days ago by The Porkchop Express
Modern day Babe Zaharias
Tonight the Gnats are hosting the Minnesota Twins, proud owners of a 6 game losing streak. I'm sure Donkey is primed and ready to show Rockhead Baldelli what he is missing.
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The Donk unfortunately hit a single and came around to score. I think seeing Rockhead again has spooked him.
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K swinging!!!
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He has to get a couple of hits a week to stay in the lineup
Well for some reason, the Reds keep playing Will Benson in CF, and he's rewarding them with a legendary strikeout run.
He's taken over the MLB lead from Kyle Schwarber and is up to 67 in 47 games - a pace of 231.
Benson hit .417 in 3 games in March, and the Reds said that's great, play EVERY GAME
He then struck out FORTY ONE TIMES in 91 at-bats in April, and has struck out 22 times in 49-at bats so far in May. He's hitting .143 in May after hitting .187 in April. In the last 15 days, he's struck out 17 times in 39 at-bats.
Even better, the Reds' actual good player, Elly de la Cruz (no relation to the Coco Villain Ernesto de la Cruz) is up to 4th with 63 after a golden sombrero on Sunday. he's awesome, on pace for 106 steals. What if he broke the NL records for steals and strikeouts the same year??? These two guys are on pace to strike out 418 times together. That's gorgeous.
New to the top 20 this week is slumping Texas Rangers' star Aldolis Garcia, who has been trying to live up to Joey's rep ever since he was traded back in '21. Adolis, who has told me many times that he takes steroids "like they were pez", is up to 53 and tied for 17th.
Old thread favorite Eugenio Suarez is up to a tied for 20th with 52 in 47 games for Arizona. You might recall in 2022 when he was hitting under .200 and leading the majors in K's, the Reds started batting him leadoff for a while.
Joey Jo Jo is tied for 28th with 49 K's in 27 games. Just stay healthy, brother, nothing can stop a fully armed and operational King Donkey.
He's taken over the MLB lead from Kyle Schwarber and is up to 67 in 47 games - a pace of 231.
Benson hit .417 in 3 games in March, and the Reds said that's great, play EVERY GAME
He then struck out FORTY ONE TIMES in 91 at-bats in April, and has struck out 22 times in 49-at bats so far in May. He's hitting .143 in May after hitting .187 in April. In the last 15 days, he's struck out 17 times in 39 at-bats.
Even better, the Reds' actual good player, Elly de la Cruz (no relation to the Coco Villain Ernesto de la Cruz) is up to 4th with 63 after a golden sombrero on Sunday. he's awesome, on pace for 106 steals. What if he broke the NL records for steals and strikeouts the same year??? These two guys are on pace to strike out 418 times together. That's gorgeous.
New to the top 20 this week is slumping Texas Rangers' star Aldolis Garcia, who has been trying to live up to Joey's rep ever since he was traded back in '21. Adolis, who has told me many times that he takes steroids "like they were pez", is up to 53 and tied for 17th.
Old thread favorite Eugenio Suarez is up to a tied for 20th with 52 in 47 games for Arizona. You might recall in 2022 when he was hitting under .200 and leading the majors in K's, the Reds started batting him leadoff for a while.
Joey Jo Jo is tied for 28th with 49 K's in 27 games. Just stay healthy, brother, nothing can stop a fully armed and operational King Donkey.
Donkey with a K swinging to make it an even 50 for the year, but if his jealous teammates don't start hitting, he's only going to get 3 plate appearances.
For the moment, Donkey is tied for 185th all time with Carlos Gonzalez and Marquis Grissom, and is four back of Paul Molitor.
For the moment, Donkey is tied for 185th all time with Carlos Gonzalez and Marquis Grissom, and is four back of Paul Molitor.
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2 whiffs, atta donk
King Donkey went 0 for 3 with 3 strikeouts, but just as I foresaw it, thanks to his worthless teammates and Manager McButthead (still have no idea what his name is) batting him seventh, Joey came up 2 batters short of a try for his second sombrero of the season.
2 back of Molitor, a loser so prodigious that he was actually replaced by Rockhead Baldelli.
2 back of Molitor, a loser so prodigious that he was actually replaced by Rockhead Baldelli.
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Donkey picked up a K looking in the 7th of today's afternoon matinee, but if the Gnats get set down in order in the bottom of the 9th, he will have to wait until his next game to catch Molitor.
ETA: Donkey is at the plate down one with a man on second and one out! This is where he really shines.
But God forbid the guy steals third.
ETA #2: K SWINGING!!! HE TIES PAUL MOLITOR, AND IT TOOK HIM 8,910 FEWER AT-BATS TO GET THERE!!
ETA #3: Donkey busts into the top 20 for the season, 14 back of Schwarber and Benson with 54 Ks. He's currently tied with the great Giancarlo Stanton, the career strikeout leader among active players. Time for the Donk to start running him down.
ETA: Donkey is at the plate down one with a man on second and one out! This is where he really shines.
But God forbid the guy steals third.
ETA #2: K SWINGING!!! HE TIES PAUL MOLITOR, AND IT TOOK HIM 8,910 FEWER AT-BATS TO GET THERE!!
ETA #3: Donkey busts into the top 20 for the season, 14 back of Schwarber and Benson with 54 Ks. He's currently tied with the great Giancarlo Stanton, the career strikeout leader among active players. Time for the Donk to start running him down.
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Tied for 16th. Three days ago he was 38th.
The man is a GOD
The man is a GOD
And this is despite having only played in 29 games!!!The Porkchop Express said:
Tied for 16th. Three days ago he was 38th.
The man is a GOD
The next closest of the Top 50 striker-outers is Brent Rooker of the Oakland
Should have signed the Donk when you had the chance, Zombies.
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The reds are off to a lousy start - 20-30 - and apparently content to let Will Benson just do whatever. He continues to play every day and strikeout a ton. Two on Thursday, two on Wednesday, and he's up to a staggering 72 through 48 games, a pace of 243, 20 north of Mark Reynolds' all-time record.
He is playing every day while batting .188 with 6 HR and 14 RBI. In the last month he's at a whiff rate of 48.8% (42 of 86).
He's 3 ahead of Kyle Schwarber and Oneil Cruz at 69 apiece. Reds' teammate Elly de La Cruz is 4th with 67.
With an off-day Thursday, Joey is down to a tie for 21st with 54 in 29 games. He's locked in with a .126 batting average so far this year. Since his return from injury, Joey is a dazzling 3 for 21 with 11 strikeouts, a whiff rate of
52.3%.
The Nationals face the Mariners this weekend. Tonight it's Joey vs. George Kirby, and that's a doozy of a matchup. Jocephus is 0 for 5 lifetime with 3 K s. Kirby.
He is playing every day while batting .188 with 6 HR and 14 RBI. In the last month he's at a whiff rate of 48.8% (42 of 86).
He's 3 ahead of Kyle Schwarber and Oneil Cruz at 69 apiece. Reds' teammate Elly de La Cruz is 4th with 67.
With an off-day Thursday, Joey is down to a tie for 21st with 54 in 29 games. He's locked in with a .126 batting average so far this year. Since his return from injury, Joey is a dazzling 3 for 21 with 11 strikeouts, a whiff rate of
52.3%.
The Nationals face the Mariners this weekend. Tonight it's Joey vs. George Kirby, and that's a doozy of a matchup. Jocephus is 0 for 5 lifetime with 3 K s. Kirby.
The Porkchop Express said:
The reds are off to a lousy start - 20-30 - and apparently content to let Will Benson just do whatever. He continues to play every day and strikeout a ton. Two on Thursday, two on Wednesday, and he's up to a staggering 72 through 48 games, a pace of 243, 20 north of Mark Reynolds' all-time record.
He is playing every day while batting .188 with 6 HR and 14 RBI. In the last month he's at a whiff rate of 48.8% (42 of 86).
He's 3 ahead of Kyle Schwarber and Oneil Cruz at 69 apiece. Reds' teammate Elly de La Cruz is 4th with 67.
With an off-day Thursday, Joey is down to a tie for 21st with 54 in 29 games. He's locked in with a .126 batting average so far this year. Since his return from injury, Joey is a dazzling 3 for 21 with 11 strikeouts, a whiff rate of
52.3%.
The Nationals face the Mariners this weekend. Tonight it's Joey vs. George Kirby, and that's a doozy of a matchup. Jocephus is 0 for 5 lifetime with 3 K s. Kirby.
Stats like the guys you mentioned above all really make it hard for me to believe all the analytics in today's game are operating on the correct assumptions.
There's simply no way a guy like Schwarber for instance, who is hitting .233 with 69 Ks to go with 12 XBH (9HR and 3 2B) and 30 RBIs wouldn't be more valuable to his team if he didn't always try to hit a nuke but rather would settle for more singles or doubles.
Look at Schwarber last year. Dude hit .197 but had 47 bombs along with 215 Ks and 126 BB. He's got the power that if he wasn't taking daddy-hacks on every pitch he could probably bring his Ks and BBs closer to 1:1, up his BA 60 points, and still hit 35 HR and 90-100 RBIs. Him being on base more often would increase the number of runs he scored too and offset a slight decrease in his RBIs.
Three days until Memorial Day in the Year of Our Donkey Two Thousand and Twenty Four: God is in His heaven, Joey is batting .126 with 3 HRs, 5 RBI, and 54 big strikeouts, and where do we find him batting?
Leadoff? 3rd? 4th? Even fifth??
EIGHTH. Freaking EIGHTH.
Gnats suck, man. That's all I can say.
Leadoff? 3rd? 4th? Even fifth??
EIGHTH. Freaking EIGHTH.
Gnats suck, man. That's all I can say.
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Meanwhile, I'm stuck here at Target Field watching two teams that are somehow both the Washington Senators and discarded The Great Gallo.
I'm usually a baseball traditionalist, but in a situation like this they really need to change the rules so that both teams can lose.
I'm usually a baseball traditionalist, but in a situation like this they really need to change the rules so that both teams can lose.
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Joey goes 0 for 3 with NO strikeouts. What a garbage day.
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Donkey breaks his 0 for 5, no strikeout streak late in today's game, but not the way the fans wanted.
He swats an RBI single to give the Gnats an insurance run.
He swats an RBI single to give the Gnats an insurance run.
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If you don't know Pittsburgh's Oneil Cruz, it's time to make your acquaintance. Because this crazy SOB is on a strikeout rampage.
For starters, Cruz is a SIX FOOT SEVEN SHORTSTOP. You heard me.
A shortstop taller than Michael Jordan.
Second, he's hitting .247, which is a crazy high batting average for someone striking out this much. Basically, every time he doesn't get a hit, he strikes out. He has tied Cincy's Will Benson for the strikeout lead at 72 by striking out 20 times in the last 10 games. That's a 324 strikeout pace. In that span he's had 4 hat tricks, including two i the last four games.
Here's a pitcher of him and Andrew McCutchen last year when McCutchen was with the Brewers. McCutchen is 5 foot 11.
At the beginning of the year, Cruz told reporters his goal was a 40-40 season in 2024. Right now, he's on pace for 21 HR and 17 SB so, maybe not. But he is on pace for 220 strikeouts.
In a mii-strikeout slump, Joey has fallen back to 29th with 54 strikeouts, but just one Golden Sombrero could get him back in the top 20.
He did produce a Donkey highlight yesterday, though. He was so upset about driving in a run and letting his fans down that he got picked off on the next pitch.
For starters, Cruz is a SIX FOOT SEVEN SHORTSTOP. You heard me.
A shortstop taller than Michael Jordan.
Second, he's hitting .247, which is a crazy high batting average for someone striking out this much. Basically, every time he doesn't get a hit, he strikes out. He has tied Cincy's Will Benson for the strikeout lead at 72 by striking out 20 times in the last 10 games. That's a 324 strikeout pace. In that span he's had 4 hat tricks, including two i the last four games.
Here's a pitcher of him and Andrew McCutchen last year when McCutchen was with the Brewers. McCutchen is 5 foot 11.
At the beginning of the year, Cruz told reporters his goal was a 40-40 season in 2024. Right now, he's on pace for 21 HR and 17 SB so, maybe not. But he is on pace for 220 strikeouts.
In a mii-strikeout slump, Joey has fallen back to 29th with 54 strikeouts, but just one Golden Sombrero could get him back in the top 20.
He did produce a Donkey highlight yesterday, though. He was so upset about driving in a run and letting his fans down that he got picked off on the next pitch.
The Porkchop Express said:
In a mini-strikeout slump, Joey has fallen back to 29th with 54 strikeouts, but just one Golden Sombrero could get him back in the top 20.
He did produce a Donkey highlight yesterday, though. He was so upset about driving in a run and letting his fans down that he got picked off on the next pitch.
Errors, TOOTBLANs, and fly balls lost in the lights are all well and good, but none have the nobility, purity, and simplicity of the humble strikeout.
All is not lost, however. After Donkey's offensive explosion yesterday, in which he increased his season RBI total by 20% (from five to SIX), he has been elevated to 7th in the lineup.
We may be an accidental HR or two from CLEANUP DONKEY.
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Live action moments before he went yard!
What if Joey played until he was 45 and broke the all-time strikeout record and the all-time home run record on the same day?AgRyan04 said:
Live action moments before he went yard!
Donkey's Memorial Day is off to a great start as he has led the Gnats to a 5-0 lead over Atlanta in the second, already going 0 for 1 with one K swinging!
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TWO Ks swinging and his turn at bat is up again in the top of the 6th!!!
Dare we dream of a storybook ending to the holiday weekend?
Dare we dream of a storybook ending to the holiday weekend?
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Dammit, Joey. Three Ks swinging and then you go and hit a meaningless single?!!YokelRidesAgain said:
TWO Ks swinging and his turn at bat is up again in the top of the 6th!!!
Dare we dream of a storybook ending to the holiday weekend?
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Donkey is i that rythm now that had him almost get there in 2021. A **** load of strikeouts but a hit now and again to keep himself in the lineup. He gets healthy, the chase IS MOFO ON
58 strikeouts has him up 22nd. He is only 6 strikeouts away from the Top 10. He has 58 in 33 games. On a 162-game pace, that's 284.
The Braves are throwing a lefty tonight, and since Donkey is batting .081 with 2 RBI and 21 strikeouts against lefties, he may be looking at a dreaded "day off".
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Donkey's covetous, ineffectual teammates, as per usual, offered no resistance to Atlanta's left-handed starter, who pitched 8 innings of shutout ball, offering the Donk no opportunity for even a pinch-hit strikeout. Bastages.
Do you learn nothing, Manger Whatsyourname? Do you learn nothing, Gnats? When the Donkey plays, you win. When he sits, you lose.
(It should be noted, of course, that Donkey's teammates are probably TRYING to lose so they can get off of the Gnats. Some people, unlike Our Joey, are just not TEAM GUYS.)
Anyway, The Donk should be back on the horse tomorrow against "Spencer Schwellenbach" (not making that up, that is his actual, literal name), making his MLB debut.
As noted previously, Donkey ain't skeered of no MLB debut!! O/U 2.5 strikeouts on the early Vegas line.
Do you learn nothing, Manger Whatsyourname? Do you learn nothing, Gnats? When the Donkey plays, you win. When he sits, you lose.
(It should be noted, of course, that Donkey's teammates are probably TRYING to lose so they can get off of the Gnats. Some people, unlike Our Joey, are just not TEAM GUYS.)
Anyway, The Donk should be back on the horse tomorrow against "Spencer Schwellenbach" (not making that up, that is his actual, literal name), making his MLB debut.
As noted previously, Donkey ain't skeered of no MLB debut!! O/U 2.5 strikeouts on the early Vegas line.
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
She chose poorly.
Influencer Hayden Hopkins was rumored to be expecting a child with Las Vegas Raiders owner Mark Davis, except it’s actually with former Ranger Joey Gallo.
— Michael Bier (@MichaelJBier) May 29, 2024
Things you didn’t expect to see in 2024. pic.twitter.com/ZDifuyw30a
Looks like Joey didn't swing and miss for once
She's a Cirque de Soleil dancer. Suddenly Joey's lack of focus at the plate makes a whole lot whole lot more sense.toucan82 said:
Looks like Joey didn't swing and miss for once
Life is better with a beagle
This woman is going to produce the heir to the Donkeyverse. If it's a boy, he could be striking out 200 times year by the year 2046. This child shall be the Kwisatz Haderach of Las Vegas!
Life is better with a beagle
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