*** CAPITAL GAINS: THE 2024 JOEY GALLO APPRECIATION THREAD ***

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YokelRidesAgain
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 4:28p, 4/3/24
AG
The Porkchop Express said:
Lord of the Donk is back in the lineup in a couple of hours as the National host the Pirates. Jocephus has started the season with 6 strikeouts while going 0 for 12.
Our Joey is batting right where a guy with a batting average of .000 should be, cleanup.

Manager What's His Name may be growing on me.
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redline248
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4:42p, 4/3/24
AG
We need a solid 1-4 with a solo homer, right?
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YokelRidesAgain
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In reply to redline248 • 4:47p, 4/3/24
AG
redline248 said:
We need a solid 1-4 with a solo homer, right?
As long as it's accompanied by 3 strikeouts and a walk, yes.
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sburg2007
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6:28p, 4/3/24


Boom b*tches
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DeProfundis
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6:35p, 4/3/24
Bases empty: that's how he does it
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RED AG 98
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In reply to sburg2007 • 6:42p, 4/3/24
AG
Outstanding! The only way he can challenge the record is if he plays every day.
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The Porkchop Express
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6:45p, 4/3/24
My dream is a year where he hits .100 by going 50-500 with 50 solo home runs and 450 strikeouts
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sburg2007
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7:21p, 4/3/24
Well, he has a double tonight as well.
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The Porkchop Express
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7:23p, 4/3/24
And a strikeout!
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The Porkchop Express
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7:55p, 4/3/24
3 for 4! Look who's hitting .188!
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redline248
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In reply to YokelRidesAgain • 8:04p, 4/3/24
AG
YokelRidesAgain said:
redline248 said:
We need a solid 1-4 with a solo homer, right?
As long as it's accompanied by 3 strikeouts and a walk, yes.
I guess I was distracted cuz I totally meant to put 3 K.
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The Porkchop Express
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8:27a, 4/4/24
Our Lord and Donkey moved up to sole possession of 220th place on the all-time strikeout list yesterday. he's up to 1,197 for his career.

He's currently tied for 50th for 2024. , but the Nats have only played 5 games this year, and Joey's only played in 4 of the He has 7 strikeouts

By benefit of an extra series to start the year, Max Muncy (16) and Teoscar Hernandez (15) of the Dodgers continue to be 1-2 in the league lead.



Thought we could start checking in on team strikeouts as well. The Dodgers lead the lead with 82 in 9 games (9 per game), but the Cardinals and Mariners are leading in strikeouts per game (10.1 per)

If you need some Donkey in your day, El Gallo Supremo plays at 3:05 p.m. today vs. the Pirates.
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YokelRidesAgain
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2:04p, 4/4/24
AG
After his stunning display of power, it's CLEAN UP DONKEY time at Nationals Park. Donkey is batting 4th because he has a higher OPS than the Gnats 2nd and 3rd hitters, which I'm not sure how is even possible.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck at the decrepit, Donkeyless Target Field. I tell you, you don't know how good you've got it until it's gone.
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DeProfundis
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In reply to YokelRidesAgain • 3:42p, 4/4/24
I'm going to be at the twins game on Sunday. Going to go on a hunger strike from the 1st-4th inning to try and force them to bring back el Gallo loco
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The Porkchop Express
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5:19p, 4/4/24
Donkey with a double and a run scored, up to .235 ! hello, everyday lineup!
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DeProfundis
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 5:33p, 4/4/24
The Porkchop Express said:
Donkey with a double and a run scored, up to .235 ! hello, everyday lineup!


Needs to get his eyes checked, he's not seeing the ball well
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YokelRidesAgain
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5:47p, 4/4/24
AG
For the first time this season, I beheld the loathsome visage of our village's idiot, Rockhead Baldelli.

Rockhead's cleanup hitter is German ballerina, Max Kepler, who has an OPS of .118.

Donkey's OPS is .800. Guess which one got 10 million dollars from Rockhead and the braintrust this season?
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YokelRidesAgain
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5:58p, 4/4/24
AG
The Twins are honoring the treasured memory of the Great Donkey today, however. Fifteen strikeouts through 8.
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sburg2007
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5:59p, 4/4/24
Ranger great on ranger great violence! Martin Perez gets the swinging K on donkey!
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YokelRidesAgain
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In reply to DeProfundis • 6:00p, 4/4/24
AG
DeProfundis said:
The Porkchop Express said:
Donkey with a double and a run scored, up to .235 ! hello, everyday lineup!


Needs to get his eyes checked, he's not seeing the ball well


He might have them open; it happens from time to time. In 2019, it lasted almost all year. Usually he makes the adjustment quicker.
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Dr. Doctor
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8:07p, 4/4/24
AG
BTW, this thread makes me think of the saying:

What do you call the top of the class from medical school? Doctor.

What about the bottom of the class? Doctor.


What do you call the king donkey? Still an MLB player.

But this also makes me think of the way the Olympics should be held. One random person, without training, going out to do the same as all the other athletes. To see what it takes. And for us, that individual is Gallo.

~egon
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redline248
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In reply to Dr. Doctor • 9:27p, 4/4/24
AG
I would not strike out as much as Joey, of that I am convinced. He's truly an elite whiffer

I also could not hit it as far as him, but I would draw more walks.
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YokelRidesAgain
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In reply to redline248 • 10:39p, 4/4/24
AG
redline248 said:
I would not strike out as much as Joey, of that I am convinced. He's truly an elite whiffer

I also could not hit it as far as him, but I would draw more walks.
I think that you may be mistaken.

If Our Joey has a "good point", as defined by the idiot denizens of Major League Baseball GM rooms, it is his walk rate.

Despite his Mendoza line defying career BA of .197, the Big Donk has walked his way to a marginally competent OBP of .322. When you factor in his accidental tendency to occasionally produce an extra base hit, his career OPS is .788 (OPS+ 108).

That's right: DONKEY IS BETTER AT HITTING THAN AN AVERAGE MLB PLAYER.

It seems incomprehensible, to the casual observer: to understand, one must embrace the subtle glory of the strikeout.

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BassCowboy33
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In reply to MattAg06 • 5:59a, 4/5/24
MattAg06 said:
No, it's weird. I mean I get it, part of it is trolling Ranger fans. But writing novels, and looking up the dude's career spring training stats.....?


I legit know someone who refused to root for the Rangers after they traded Gallo. 99% of Rangers fans were done with the guy. His continued descent into the abyss and refusal to adapt has been insane to watch.
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The Porkchop Express
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11:02p, 4/5/24
Glorious Maximum Donkage tonight! 0-for-2, 2 walks, 1 strikeout. Making contact as infrequently a possible.
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The Porkchop Express
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4:31p, 4/6/24
Oh baby! Joey G with a 2 run dong and a strikeout in his first 2 at bats! The full time player is here!
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DeProfundis
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 6:13p, 4/6/24
The Porkchop Express said:
Oh baby! Joey G with a 2 run dong and a strikeout in his first 2 at bats! The full time player is here!


Someone was on base?
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YokelRidesAgain
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6:28p, 4/6/24
AG
As we all know, achieving round numbers is important to a ballplayer's career.

Today, King Donkey claimed 200 home runs and 1200 strikeouts in his illustrious career! Oh, and his OPS for the season is .853. It is a little worrisome that he is hitting .200, but I'm sure the average will come down with time.

What a man! What a donkey!!!
No material on this site is intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See full Medical Disclaimer.
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Dr. Doctor
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7:48p, 4/6/24
AG
So while we admire the king, watching the royals and white Sox, I saw a member of the vaunted astros. Maldonado. Made his first hit this season.

How is he comparing to the king?

~egon
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YokelRidesAgain
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In reply to Dr. Doctor • 8:04p, 4/6/24
AG
Dr. Doctor said:
How is he comparing to the king?
This Maldonado fellow is not in the conversation. His whiff rate this year is a measly 4 for 15 (.267), which does not even live up to his career strikeout rate of .301.

The Great Donkey has had an uneven start to the season, but even his current whiff rate of .400 eclipses anything Maldonado has ever done in his career, and of course his all time MLB leading strikeout rate of .449 is peerless.

Let us never speak of this again.
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The Porkchop Express
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In reply to Dr. Doctor • 12:06a, 4/7/24
Dr. Doctor said:
So while we admire the king, watching the royals and white Sox, I saw a member of the vaunted astros. Maldonado. Made his first hit this season.

How is he comparing to the king?

~egon
Was this written by AI?

Also, if he plays for the White Sox, he can't be a member of the Astros.
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The Porkchop Express
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In reply to YokelRidesAgain • 11:27a, 4/7/24
YokelRidesAgain said:
As we all know, achieving round numbers is important to a ballplayer's career.

Today, King Donkey claimed 200 home runs and 1200 strikeouts in his illustrious career! Oh, and his OPS for the season is .853. It is a little worrisome that he is hitting .200, but I'm sure the average will come down with time.

What a man! What a donkey!!!
A look at his #s shows he's also exactly 100 doubles and 10 triples. Why is Cooperstown even waiting for him to get done playing?

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YokelRidesAgain
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 11:59a, 4/7/24
AG
The Porkchop Express said:

A look at his #s shows he's also exactly 100 doubles and 10 triples. Why is Cooperstown even waiting for him to get done playing?
No one has ever been inducted while an active player, although it is obviously warranted in this case.

Maybe they are waiting for a dramatic moment, such as Donkey's first career Diamond Sombrero.
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DeProfundis
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 12:03p, 4/7/24
The Porkchop Express said:
YokelRidesAgain said:
As we all know, achieving round numbers is important to a ballplayer's career.

Today, King Donkey claimed 200 home runs and 1200 strikeouts in his illustrious career! Oh, and his OPS for the season is .853. It is a little worrisome that he is hitting .200, but I'm sure the average will come down with time.

What a man! What a donkey!!!
A look at his #s shows he's also exactly 100 doubles and 10 triples. Why is Cooperstown even waiting for him to get done playing?



On two of the triples, he still had his eyes closed after swinging and accidentally ran to 3rd first. They gave it to him though, because the kids love him
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The Porkchop Express
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In reply to YokelRidesAgain • 12:10p, 4/7/24
YokelRidesAgain said:
The Porkchop Express said:

A look at his #s shows he's also exactly 100 doubles and 10 triples. Why is Cooperstown even waiting for him to get done playing?
No one has ever been inducted while an active player, although it is obviously warranted in this case.

Maybe they are waiting for a dramatic moment, such as Donkey's first career Diamond Sombrero.
Diamond Sombrero = Maximum Donkage

I really want him to get into like a 23-inning game this year and strike out 8 or 9 times. The record in any game is only 6.

Also keep an eye on the situation in Houston. Jose Abreu might be on the outs.. He's currently 27 K's ahead of El Gallo Loco on the active whiff list

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