As I predicted, it was a tough day for King Donkey today, as he went 1 for 5 with 2 RBI and no strikeouts in a 16-3 Twins laugher.

Reached for comment after the game, Joey had this to say (paraphrased):

"It was real tough this afternoon. They told me before the game that I had to use a pink hitting stick. Maybe it was Cotton Candy Day, not sure.

Anyway, baseballs are kind of a white color, I think? Way different than pink, I know that. It made it kind of easy to see the ball and touch it with my stick. One ball even went all the way over the fence and out of the stadium and some fan ran off with it! That made me sad, because the Poland family has been real nice to me, and I know they're poor. Baseballs are expensive. (Editor's note: Twins owner Jim Pohlad has a net worth of $3.8 billion, ranking 8th among MLB owners.)

When I have a tough day like this, Coach Socko helps pick me up. He even told me that sometimes when he was playing, he wouldn't strike out either. Even though he has some kind of gemnetic, or is it gynecological, disease that helped him suck. I I just know I've always been pretty healthy and sometimes it's hard to miss major league pitching.

Hopefully, Coach Socko keeps letting me swing first. I like that because I get a lot of chances. We're going to play the Dodgers next week, and I really want to show the fans at Dodger Stadium what I can do. Coach Robert there hardly let me play at all. So far, I love Coach Socko way better."

Time for another check-in with the strikeout leaderboard.

Continuing to pace the field with 61Ks is Atlanta's Matt Olson. He remains on pace for a record shattering 235 strikeouts.

In second is Teoscar Hernandez of the Mariners, hot on Olson's heels with 59. These two have achieved clear separation from the field at the quarter pole.

In third is James Outman of the LA Dodgers, with 54.

There is a three way tie for fourth among Ryan McMahon of Colorado, Julio Rodriguez of Seattle, and Josh Jung of the Rangers with 53.

Donkey is currently in 82nd place, tied for fourth in strikeouts on his own TEAM. It's the world turned upside down out there.

Rockhead yanks Joey with 2 out, top of the ninth, with the Twins down 7-3, to let the BACKUP CATCHER hit!

Naturally, he struck out.

THAT WAS JOEY'S STRIKEOUT!

All is well!

Donkey entered last night's game late and picked up a game ending strikeout looking.

Still not expecting him to start today, but a showdown against Shohei is in the offing for Sunday.

Surprise start for the Big Donkey last night, and he came through in a big way with two swinging strikeouts to rise to 66th on the K leaderboard.

Oh, and he also hit his 11th home run, tied for 10th in the Majors. Whatever.

The race for the top is now tied, with Teoscar Hernandez of the Mariners catching Matt Olson of Atlanta, both with 64 strikeouts.

***LEADOFF DONKEY TIME*** against Shohei Ohtani!

Can he turn in a Golden performance?

This is a weird thread full of weird people

Then you are welcome to gtfo

PatAg said:

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This is a weird thread full of weird people

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You sir; have no taste

I wanna tell you guys a little story about the power of faith.

I put $500 on Ohtani K's o8.5 in today's game. Why? Because I knew the sultan of swing and a miss would make it rain.

Did he come through? No. But I still won because of my faith in him. The donkey always pays off

PatAg said:

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This is a weird thread full of weird people

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Welcome!!!

As we start off another week, let's all pause for a moment to wonder at the glory that is the Seattle Mariners.

Center fielder Julio Rodriguez has 57 big strikeouts, which would lead all but six teams in MLB.

But on the Mariners, it is only good for third place.

Because why? Because big Eugenio Suarez is making a run at the top of the leaderboard for the second straight year, with his 59 strikeouts ranking 3rd in the big leagues.

But even Suarez is eclipsed by the majesty that is Teoscar Hernandez, tied for the major league lead with 65 Ks.

What a time to be alive!

SCANDAL! OUTRAGE!! COMMUNISM!!!

Halfway to the game, I find that local village imbecile and Twins' manager, Rockhead Baldelli, has BENCHED King Donkey for tonight's game!

Rockhead is apparently anticipating that the Giants' first RELIEF pitcher will be a lefty, and has replaced Donkey at his rightful spot at the top of the lineup with cheese-eating surrender monkey, Edouard Julien, of Quebec.

Here's hoping you tweak a gonad, you usurping, poutine slurping little twerp!

Aww, Rockhead, I wish I could find a way to quit you!!

(Like you getting fired. That would work.)

Donkey is a late addition to tonight's lineup, hitting SEVENTH because his manager has an incapacitating intellectual disability.

your hate for Rocco is only equalled by our combined love of Big Don-K

Amidst all the glory of the swinging, and the missing, and the whiffing, often we forget that professional athletes are breathing, bleeding humans just like us.

When their emotions are jerked about-when they do not even know if they will have the chance to strike out-do their hearts not suffer pain??

It is in these moments, when they rise up and deliver two beautiful Ks anyway, that their true hearts are revealed.

Bravo, Sir Donkey. Bravo.