***** NORTHERN EXPOSURE: THE 2023 JOEY GALLO APPRECIATION THREAD *****

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YokelRidesAgain
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10:52a, 8/13/23
AG
WHAT THE HELL, ROCKHEAD??

Look, we all know Joey had a bad game yesterday (4 for 4 with two home runs and a walk), which is only two short of the number of hits he had in July. That doesn't mean that you go and BENCH the guy!

He could have come back with a sombrero! Now we'll never know.
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redline248
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In reply to YokelRidesAgain • 12:44p, 8/13/23
AG
Take solace in the hope of a late inning pinch hit K
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YokelRidesAgain
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3:15p, 8/13/23
AG
Donkey is on in the bottom of the ninth as a defensive replacement.

Not even a sniff at an at-bat.

Rockhead Baldelli is a Communist. Where is William L. Borden when you need him?
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YokelRidesAgain
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3:22p, 8/13/23
AG
And the game ends on an unassisted double play from the Donk. Didn't need him in the line-up.
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YokelRidesAgain
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12:38p, 8/16/23
AG
My last look at a legendary whiffer, sure-fire Hall of Famer Miguel Cabrera. In addition to being only one of seven in the illustrious 2,000 strikeout club, Miggy's career achievements include a batting average over .300, 500 homers, 3,000 hits, and drinking scotch from the bottle DURING a DWI stop.
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YokelRidesAgain
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2:06p, 8/16/23
AG
Some heroes, of course, need no performance decreasing drugs.

Despite being ordered to BUNT with none on and two out, the Donk comes back with a pretty K swinging, #2 on the day.
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Johnsy3
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7:04a, 8/22/23
AG

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Dies Irae
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In reply to Johnsy3 • 7:53a, 8/22/23
The kids loved him
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Faustus
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3:18p, 8/23/23
Suarez has a k today to up his league leading total to 167. His teammate Hernandez also has picked up one to up his total to 164.

The record is still within reach if they pick up the pace even slightly. Kyle Schwarber is all that stands between the two for the strikeout title, with 164 k's himself.

https://www.mlb.com/stats/strikeouts
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YokelRidesAgain
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In reply to Faustus • 3:22p, 8/23/23
AG
Faustus said:
Suarez has a k today to up his league leading total to 167. His teammate Hernandez also has picked up one to up his total to 164.

The record is still within reach if they pick up the pace even slightly. Kyle Schwarber is all that stands between the two for the strikeout title, with 164 k's himself.

https://www.mlb.com/stats/strikeouts
I don't know, Suarez is 12 Ks behind the pace. He is a great whiffer, but 56 Ks in 34 games is a tall order. '

Being in a tight playoff race does help his chances, though. Seattle's manager won't be able to stand in the way of the record by benching his strikeout superstars if the race comes down to the wire.
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sburg2007
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8:03p, 8/25/23
Joey dumped after 0-2 day.
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bmac_aggie18
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In reply to sburg2007 • 8:04p, 8/25/23
AG
sburg2007 said:
Joey dumped after 0-2 day.


To be fair he got completely hosed on that call…and I'm a Ranger fan
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YokelRidesAgain
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In reply to sburg2007 • 8:10p, 8/25/23
AG
sburg2007 said:
Joey dumped after 0-2 day.
And what really matters, a strikeout!
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Dies Irae
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8:23p, 8/25/23
The kids love him
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sburg2007
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9:05p, 8/25/23
Called second strike was atrocious.
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YokelRidesAgain
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10:13p, 8/25/23
AG
Nazi ballerina*, Max Kepler, has reclaimed the Twins' home run lead from our hero, who gets kicked out of games by jealous umpires. Kepler leads 21-20.

Despite the tyranny of Rockhead Baldelli, Joey retains a healthy lead in the team strikeout race by 135-114 over Michael A. "Michael A" Taylor.

*Seriously, both of his parents were German BALLET DANCERS.
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YokelRidesAgain
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3:43p, 8/26/23
AG
Tonight at Target Field, King Donkey returns after being victimized by the tyranny of umpires.

He faces future Hall of Famer, Max Scherzer, against whom Joey is 0 for lifetime.

I'm going to go ahead and issue a ***Sombrero Watch***.
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Dies Irae
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In reply to YokelRidesAgain • 3:45p, 8/26/23
YokelRidesAgain said:
Tonight at Target Field, King Donkey returns after being victimized by the tyranny of umpires.

He faces future Hall of Famer, Max Scherzer, against whom Joey is 0 for lifetime.

I'm going to go ahead and issue a ***Sombrero Watch***.


Lord, please blind the umpires to the kilos of spider tack anointing the hands of your chosen, Max Scherzer. Turn their eyes from the substances adorning his inner elbow, hat bill, and neckline. Muddle their senses as he uses a poorly concealed nail file to saw off 1/3 of the baseball while pretending to use the rosin bag. For all these things we ask, amen.
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YokelRidesAgain
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In reply to Dies Irae • 3:55p, 8/26/23
AG
Dies Irae said:

Lord, please blind the umpires to the kilos of spider tack anointing the hands of your chosen, Max Scherzer. Turn their eyes from the substances adorning his inner elbow, hat bill, and neckline. Muddle their senses as he uses a poorly concealed nail file to saw off 1/3 of the baseball while pretending to use the rosin bag. For all these things we ask, amen.
So let it be written, and let it be done!
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YokelRidesAgain
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6:54p, 8/26/23
AG
Real respect real!

Scherzer doing what he does best, pitch, and the Donk doing what he does best, strike out!

Donkey 0-1 with a K swinging, top of 3
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YokelRidesAgain
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7:38p, 8/26/23
AG
K LOOKING!!!

Donkey remains hitless vs. Scherzer with a K looking, and raises his strikeout percentage for the matchup to .600.
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YokelRidesAgain
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8:08p, 8/26/23
AG
0 for 3 with a K swinging!!!


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Dies Irae
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8:11p, 8/26/23
He just needs the dropped third strike error to first base and he'll have the Cycle
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Dies Irae
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8:58p, 8/26/23
I know we like to focus on the K's, but you also have to take your hat off to the absolute workman-like performance of 20 HR's and 38 RBI.

You can fault the Don for many things, but situational awareness is not one of them. The man artisinally weaves his homers into bases empty situations, and excels at husbanding his K's for high leverage situations.
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Dies Irae
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4:01p, 8/27/23
My favorite thing about the Don's banner picture for MLB.com is how it shows him majestically staring off into the distance as if he hit a Homer, even though we know the catcher is throwing it to 3B after a 3 pitch K
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The Porkchop Express
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4:41p, 8/27/23
I know I've been gone a while, but Joey's pinch running mistake just now might need its own thread.
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YokelRidesAgain
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In reply to The Porkchop Express • 5:03p, 8/27/23
AG
The Porkchop Express said:
I know I've been gone a while, but Joey's pinch running mistake just now might need its own thread.
THE RETURN OF THE KING!!!

This is all Rockhead's fault, obviously. You cannot merely place Joey Gallo upon a base. Particularly a base other than first.

The Donk is a three true outcome player: he either hits a home run, strikes out, or strolls to first. How is he supposed to adapt to starting an inning at second base?
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Prosperdick
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5:36p, 8/27/23
AG
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Dies Irae
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6:00p, 8/27/23
He only lives to get radical
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YokelRidesAgain
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12:48p, 8/30/23
AG
A picture perfect day (73 and sunny), and a picture perfect strikeout for center fielder Joey Gallo!

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YokelRidesAgain
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1:33p, 8/30/23
AG
Rockhead just pulled Joey from the game so he could pinch-hit some right-handed pug, whose name I haven't bothered to learn, against a righty pitcher!

Said pug is bashing .204/.316/.306 on the season.

Shockingly, he struck out. THAT WAS JOEY'S STRIKEOUT.

Just DFA Donkey already so he can sign with a real franchise for the stretch run.
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Dies Irae
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In reply to YokelRidesAgain • 5:40p, 8/30/23
You hate when politics get involved
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YokelRidesAgain
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3:54p, 9/1/23
AG
Tonight King Donkey makes his triumphant return to Globe Life Field! Gallo fans around the DFW area are, no doubt, breathless with anticipation.

For the second time in a week, Joey has a tasty matchup against Max Scherzer, against whom he has gone 0 for 6 with no walks and 4 big strikeouts.
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Dies Irae
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5:01p, 9/1/23
Like the rest of you, and millions of adoring fans around the world, I have to have multiple streams of Gallo (no homo) operating at all times.

I am delighted to say that even the cutting edge of AI realizes the Don for the gigantic asset that he is.

In my OOTP24 game, for the next several seasons the Don will earn $20,000,000 a year (almost $80k per strikeout).

As a Texan I appreciate the Don moving closer and closer back home where he belongs. I can only imagine that after the enormity of this deal reaches ownership, they will sell the team to Austin, he could do very well there
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The Porkchop Express
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4:12p, 9/3/23
Joey is within 8 strikeouts of the Top 10 in MLB today despite missing almost a month of the season.

To celebrate, here are some AI-generated photos of him I made on Mage.Space



Joey Gallo striking out with an umbrella.



Joey Gallo as Roy Hobbs in the Natural




Joey Gallo meeting Chewbacca on Corellia




Joey Gallo worked into the painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.



Joey Gallo as Thanos


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