Donkey in the game as a late inning defensive replacement, K swinging on a ball out of the zone leading off the 9th!

He never misses an opportunity. Or rather, he always misses

Robert, Jr., Noda, Trout AND Josh Jung of the Rangers all picked up K #100 yesterday!

Donkey again out of the lineup against a lefty opener. Beyond tired of Rockhead's 4 dimensional checkers.

Fun fact: In the bottom of the 5th inning, Twins' DH Byron "I'm Byron Buxton!" Buxton has 2 sacrifice flies in tonight's game, one shy of Joey Gallo's CAREER total.

Donkey finally allowed to play tonight, pinch hitting for Jose "I'm Lin-Manuel Miranda's cousin, Jose" Miranda, who looks like a Little Leaguer out there, except that a Little Leaguer would try harder.

Donkey immediately adds a K looking for team leading #88 on the season.

Rockhead Baldelli, who I understand loves the 4th of July because it means it is only 25 shopping days left until Mussolini's birthday, has King Donkey on the bench this afternoon.

Why, Rockhead? Why do you hate freedom? Truth? Justice? The pursuit of the strikeout?

YokelRidesAgain said:

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Time for another look at the leaders in baseball's most important play, the strikeout.

On the team side, Joey Gallo's Minnesota Twins are running away from the field as they continue to strike out like a team possessed, led by (of course) King Donkey himself with 86. The Twins added 12 more Ks yesterday in a 1-0 victory over Baltimore, taking their total to 861 for the year, on pace for an astounding and record breaking 1660.

The Twins' sole run came on a homer by the Donk. His reward for singlehandedly winning the game was getting benched by Rockhead today.

In the individual race, the top 5 are the only current members of the 100 K club:

1) Teoscar Hernandez, SEA, 110
2) Kyle Schwarber, PHI 106
3) Ryan McMahon, COL 105
4) Matt Olson, ATL 102 (Olson has been in a serious funk recently, with only 4Ks in his last 25 at bats.)
5) Jarred Kelenic, SEA 101

The players who are knock, knock, knocking on one hundred's door include Luis Robert Jr. of the White Sox and Ryan Noda of the Zombie As, with 99, and something called Mike Trout with 98.

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Hey, hey, hey, yeah. [/Axl adding to Dylan's lyrics]

HE. IS. AMERICA.

If his nitwit manager only allows him one at bat per game, Donkey will pull himself up by the Crunchwraps and climb the strikeout leaderboard one K at a time.

K looking, #89!

Got to love that KING DONKEY form!!!

He starts the night 0 for 1 with one K swinging and a runner stranded on second.

Number 90 on the season!

HERO.

Literally one pitch later, the Twins' BACKUP CATCHER hit a home run to straightaway center.

The strikeout is the straw that stirs the drink, just like Reggie Jackson said.

You are capturing history with every photo

When he was laboring under the tyranny of Ma Boone, Donkey would have let a little thing like his pitcher giving up a six spot in the top of the inning distract him from striking out.

But not today!

With his 92nd strikeout of the year, the Donk ties banned for life Hall of Famer, Roberto Alomar, and a prolific whiffer by the name of Donn Clendenon at 1140 Ks, moving into the top 250 of all time!!

With a Golden Sombrero today, Donkey will tie Pete Rose, who required a ludicrous 15,890 at bats to strike out 1143 times.

Goodnight, Mr. Alomar! Goodnight Mr. Clendenon, whoever you are!

The Great Donkey ties Jason Heyward at 248th all time, two back of Pete!

It's going to take quite the Twins rally for the Sombrero, but Joseph Nicholas Gallo is only one back of Pete Rose!!

I wonder what kind of odds Pete can get on Donkey striking out in any given game.

Rockhead Baldelli, whose likes include "playing the percentages", long walks on the beach, and oppressing greatness, and whose dislikes include truth, justice, and the American way, pulls King Donkey for a pinch hitter in the bottom of the ninth.

The pinch hitter, Willi "Not Even My Mom Recognizes Me" Castro, fails to hit the ball out of the infield, as the Twins lose going away, 6-2.

The All-Star break would be an excellent time to fire Rockhead.

ONE THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE STRIKEOUTS!!!

NUMBER 243 ALL TIME:

Peter Edward "Charley Hustle" Rose
AB: 15,890

Joseph Nicholas "King Donkey" Gallo
AB: 3041

The Donkey is a true master of his craft

Rockhead starts what will presumably be the last half-season of his career as an MLB manger by benching three of the top four hitters (by OPS) on his active roster (including, of course, King Donkey, regarding whom Rockhead is consumed by the burning jealousy of a thousand fires. Rockhead only struck out 338 times in his joke of a major league career, and never cleared 130 on a season. Loser!).

After a pinch-hit K, moving him past Pete Rose on the all-time list, Joey hit a two run homer in the top of the ninth, breaking a 3-3 tie in what ended as a 5-4 Twins victory.

Reached for comment after the game, Donkey broke down his last at-bat brilliantly: "I didn't even see the first pitch. I was like, 'I'm in trouble here.' I'm just going to swing and see what happens, and somehow I ended up hitting the ball."

Ball don't lie, Rocco. Play the donkey!

Joey with a tantalizing matchup tonight against former Houston Cougar High School pitcher, Austin Pruitt, at the Oakland Coliseum in front of thousands hundreds dozens of fans, most of whom will be there to demand the sale of the team and/or cheer for the Los Angeles Dodgers.

The Donk is 0 for 3 with a strikeout in his career versus Pruitt. Because his manager is feebleminded, Joey is batting 9th.

He needs three strikeouts tonight to tie Jose "Cruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuz!" Cruz on the all-time list.

The starter is out after one inning, and Joey is walked by Hobo Harris, who is called Hobo because the Zombie Athletics signed him out of the box he was sleeping in at Howard Terminal.

ETA: Donkey ain't skeered of no Oakland pitching! K swinging on a full count to tie Kelly Johnson for #243 all time with 1,145 Ks!

UPDATE #2: Hobo sucks. He walks Donkey for the second time, and his manager jerks him from the game immediately. Oakland's fan boos him lustily.

Quote:

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Hobo Harris, who is called Hobo because the Zombie Athletics signed him out of the box he was sleeping in at Howard Terminal.

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YokelRidesAgain said:

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The starter is out after one inning, and Joey is walked by Hobo Harris, who is called Hobo because the Zombie Athletics signed him out of the box he was sleeping in at Howard Terminal.

ETA: Donkey ain't skeered of no Oakland pitching! K swinging on a full count to tie Kelly Johnson for #243 all time with 1,145 Ks!

UPDATE #2: Hobo sucks. He walks Donkey for the second time, and his manager jerks him from the game immediately. Oakland's fan boos him lustily.

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There's no room in the game for that type of bush league behavior

Dies Irae said:

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There's no room in the game for that type of bush league behavior

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Exactly. The Zombie Athletics should be relegated to Double A immediately for this nonsense.

Donkey only just now got a plate appearance today, and once again, he WALKED.

No one is buying tickets to the Oakland Coliseum to see King Donkey WALK.

I mean, they aren't buying tickets regardless, but walking Joey Gallo won't help.

I expect the Joey Gallo rule to come out next year to address this loophole

Tonight's fun Donkey fact:

Joey Gallo is the all-time MLB leader in home runs among players with a career batting average under .200!

He has 193 home runs and a career average of .198.

The consequences of crossing the streams between his career home run and batting average totals may include a permanent rift in the space-time continuum, or showers of chili cheese fries.

This is why the Donk is must see TV.

He's definitely gonna end up with more career homers than career average. We all want to see the season strike out totals eclipse the season average.

redline248 said:

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He's definitely gonna end up with more career homers than career average. We all want to see the season strike out totals eclipse the season average.

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You are referring to The Singularity. Donkey has already achieved that prestigious mark three times in his career:

2018: 207 Ks, BA .206

2021 MLB leading and career high 213 Ks, BA .199

2022 163 Ks, BA .160

Donkey's hot April, and playing for a manager who is a Rockhead, have left him with a lot of ground to make up. He needs to miss a lot of baseballs to raise his strikeout total and lower his average over the next 2 and a half months. Currently he has 97 Ks and a batting average of .189. The home run he just hit (#194) did not help either total.

Donkey has come out of the All Star break on an absolute tear, going 2 for 15 with 9 strikeouts in 6 games.

He added three more Ks in last night's late game, raising his season total to 104, good for 16th in MLB.

A dark day in the strikeout world as the news breaks that Mariners strikeout artist Jarred Kelenic, currently 4th in MLB, is out indefinitely after breaking his foot kicking a water cooler after a 9th inning strikeout in last night's ball game. Young players have to learn how to restrain themselves while celebrating.

Adding insult to injury, King Donkey only picked up one lousy strikeout today in the Twins' shutout loss. That's not going to do it if he wants to run down Kyle Schwarber.

Yep. Gotta learn to break your bat on the cooler, not a part of your body

YokelRidesAgain said:

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Donkey has come out of the All Star break on an absolute tear, going 2 for 15 with 9 strikeouts in 6 games.

He added three more Ks in last night's late game, raising his season total to 104, good for 16th in MLB.

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I heard he got fitted for contacts during the all star break, he was having a hard time seeing the area around the ball

Dies Irae said:

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I heard he got fitted for contacts during the all star break, he was having a hard time seeing the area around the ball

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That's the kind of shenanigans that the Twins hitting coach is up to.

He's got Carlos Correa slapping singles to the opposite field as a leadoff hitter and King Donkey swinging with his eyes open.

LET GREATNESS BE.

Over 79% of Joey Gallo's swings this year have been whiffs or fouls and if that sounds really high that's because it is.

That would be an all-time MLB record. pic.twitter.com/456GIZ7XPb

— Codify (@CodifyBaseball) July 21, 2023

I'm not a regular on this thread but saw this on twitter and knew it needed to be on here