Moderator:
As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Anderson. It seems that you've been living two lives. In one life, you're Thomas A. Anderson, a short order cook for a respectable IHOP. You have a social security number, you pay your taxes, and you … help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived on Texags, where you go by the alias "Face" and are guilty of virtually every posting crime we have rules for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not.
I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can be, Mr. Anderson. You're here because we need your help. We know that you've been contacted by a certain individual, a man who calls himself Lucas Jackson. Now, whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant. He is considered by many moderators to be the most dangerous poster alive. My colleagues believe that I'm wasting my time with you, but I believe you wish to do the right thing. We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. And all that we're asking for in return is your cooperation in bringing a known waffle eater to justice.
Face:
Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you "the finger" and you give me my waffles.