That was you? My bad.

This is not legal advice nor is there an attorney-client relationship between us. This is merely information regarding the reporting of potential identity theft.

1) Call one of the Credit Bureaus (below in blue) and place a fraud alert on your credit report. This will be good for 90 days (we can extend it if/when needed). Confirm with them that they will contact the other two companies to notify them as well (they are required by federal law to do this free of charge);

Equifax 1-800-525-6285
Experian 1-888-397-3742
TransUnion 1-800-680-7289

2) Request a free credit report from whichever Credit Bureau you place the fraud alert with (also free under federal law);

3) Go to https://www.ftccomplaintassistant.gov/#&panel1-1 and create a Federal Trade Commission Identity Theft Affidavit;

4) Contact the FBI Field Office in Dallas as, like you correctly stated, you are a victim of a federal crime:
1 Justice Park Drive
Houston, Texas 77092
(t) 713-936-7000

You will need to bring your FTC Identity Theft Affidavit (from Step 3, above) with you to file the FBI report;

5) Contact the Social Security Administration at 800-269-0271 to report that your SSN has been used to commit identity fraud and you are the victim of identity theft (if applicable); and finally

6) Inform any and all banking institutions where you have an account that you have been the victim of identity theft and fraud.

As phone calls are the faster manner to get these reports on file, you must take diligent notes when talking with these agencies and bureaus. To ensure that you maintain all necessary information, be sure to document, at a minimum, the following information for each and every phone call you make:

*****FOR EVERY PHONE CALL MADE REGARDING THIS MATTER*****
1. Agency Name:
2. Phone number you called:
3. Date:
4. Time at beginning of call:
5. Name of Agency Rep:
6. Identification number of Agency Rep:
7. Purpose of the call:
8. Time at end of the call:

*****REQUEST AND CONFIRM THAT YOUR REQUESTED INFORMATION/REPORT/ETC. BE SENT TO YOUR HOME ADDRESS AS CONFIRMATION OF THE PHONE CALL*****

You're a good dude!

I totally stroked to this. Thanks bruh

Tell the po-po the identity thief is also dealing weed and there will be a swat team at their door within the hour.

Had my CC or debit card numbers stolen a few times due to all the online business and purchases my wife and I make. Fortunately never full blown ID fraud, just have to get a new account number and redo my auto billing. Usually it is hackers overseas or an employee stealing customer info. The government LEO don't have time for it, and we all socialize the costs as higher bank fees, interest rates, insurance rates, etc.

Frankly, we ought to cut off a finger of every convicted thief that gets caught doing this crap. A few missing digits and they might opt for honest work.

UPDATE

I am past damage control mode, now in recovery and vengeful mode. No new accounts have been opened in the last 3 weeks but I am still getting bills in the mail. Hopefully this provides folks a starting point if they ever encounter the same thing:

• Freeze your credit and place a fraud warning on your account. The credit bureaus are mainly interested in selling you credit monitoring services, so don't expect much assistance here.
• No government agency cares. Or at least to the point that it matters. I wasn't worried about getting stuck with the charges, I just wanted to try and catch the ****ers that stole my identity. But good luck getting anyone to investigate. You should file a report with the FTC, but they don't investigate or prosecute. Local police departments create a report for you but that's it. The FBI and SS folks won't even open a case, don't bother. The Post Master General has a report you can fill out but you won't hear back.
• By law, retailers are required to assist a victim of ID theft by (1) cancelling the incurred debt; (2) not reporting the debt to a collection agency; and (3) provide you with all records generated in your name. But good luck getting anyone to comply willingly, which lead me to...
• Create a paper trail. You'll just get the runaround from unhelpful people on the telephone. Pull your credit reports. Find out where the unauthorized credit inquires were requested by. Send them certified letters. I sent one that tracks the language of the Fair Credit Reporting Act. If the retailer does not comply, you have recourse against them.

• Request security camera footage when possible. And hope that it's better quality than this from Helzberg Diamonds in Raleigh, NC: