Dirt Check!!!!!!agsalaska said:
Text message from last season
Me to my uncle- 'I can't tell exactly how many points he has'
Uncle to me- 'Its easier to count them when they are laying in the dirt.'
Brad, Jerry, and Mitch would disapprove.
It's that time of year again -- things we say at the deer lease
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116 Replies |
Last: 29 days ago by JLN90
Reminds me of another of my grandpa's:
It's slicker than greased owl ****.
Ask me how I know how slick owl **** is.
Hunt an open top 20 foot tall deer stand and you will find out.
It's slicker than greased owl ****.
Ask me how I know how slick owl **** is.
Hunt an open top 20 foot tall deer stand and you will find out.
I’ve seen them play since way back when,
And they’ve always had the grit;
I’ve seen ‘em lose and I’ve seen ‘em win,
But I’ve never seen ‘em quit.
And they’ve always had the grit;
I’ve seen ‘em lose and I’ve seen ‘em win,
But I’ve never seen ‘em quit.
My favorite is "You're as lost as last year's Easter eggs".
Gotta few:
"I was so cold I was shakin' like a dog sh*ttin' razor blades".
"So dumb he don't know come here from sic 'em"
"As worthless as hen sh*t on a pump handle"
"Had the runs so bad I could stand flat footed and crap over a barb wire fence"
"You're so hairy we could shave your ass and weave an Indian blanket"
"I was so cold I was shakin' like a dog sh*ttin' razor blades".
"So dumb he don't know come here from sic 'em"
"As worthless as hen sh*t on a pump handle"
"Had the runs so bad I could stand flat footed and crap over a barb wire fence"
"You're so hairy we could shave your ass and weave an Indian blanket"
Shallowminded14 said:"Hotter than little sisters *****"CajunAggie said:
Things we say...or our dads or friends or fellow hunters say....
"That's good enough for the girls we date."
"I'm so hungry I could eat the ass end out of arag dollmenustrating skunk."
"Gonna be colder thanblue hell tonighteskimo *****."
"That SOB is deader'n Hogan's goat."
"I was tits up by 10 p.m."
"It knocked him a s s hole over appetite."
I don't why I'm asking, but I gotta know what the censored word is…
It's not obvious? Lol
It seems obvious, so….Wtf?
Just wanted to be sure….
Just wanted to be sure….
For real?Shallowminded14 said:"Hotter than little sisters *****"CajunAggie said:
Things we say...or our dads or friends or fellow hunters say....
"That's good enough for the girls we date."
"I'm so hungry I could eat the ass end out of arag dollmenustrating skunk."
"Gonna be colder thanblue hell tonighteskimo *****."
"That SOB is deader'n Hogan's goat."
"I was tits up by 10 p.m."
"It knocked him a s s hole over appetite."
Have a buddy on our annual dove hunt who always has these sayings but the two that I still chuckle about:
"When we got married we were so poor the only thing keeping the walls together were the termites holding hands."
Also, after he had a little too much to drink:
"You could blindfold my a** with dental floss"
"When we got married we were so poor the only thing keeping the walls together were the termites holding hands."
Also, after he had a little too much to drink:
"You could blindfold my a** with dental floss"
I grew up so far out in the country I had to walk towards town to hunt.
The old man who ran the lease I was on with my Dad all through high school used to say "Wonder what the poor people are eatin tonight" when we'd sit down and have steaks. Either Friday night or Saturday night was always steak night at the deer lease.
My old boss says "I like being being married so much I did it 3 times"
That beats anything I ever helt, smelt or felt!ATX_AG_08 said:
My old boss says "I like being being married so much I did it 3 times"
If armadillos are out, the deer will be out
Not from the lease but from hunting season.
"You know the deer processor is at least $500 cheaper than we are."
- Me while stitching up a really drunk hunter's hand at about 9 pm at least 5 times a year. Usually gets a laugh.
Side note: Academy and Amazon sell cut proof gloves pretty cheap.
"You know the deer processor is at least $500 cheaper than we are."
- Me while stitching up a really drunk hunter's hand at about 9 pm at least 5 times a year. Usually gets a laugh.
Side note: Academy and Amazon sell cut proof gloves pretty cheap.
Those were good!
That's the PG rated version. It gets a little raunchyDuncanLEO said:For real?Shallowminded14 said:"Hotter than little sisters *****"CajunAggie said:
Things we say...or our dads or friends or fellow hunters say....
"That's good enough for the girls we date."
"I'm so hungry I could eat the ass end out of arag dollmenustrating skunk."
"Gonna be colder thanblue hell tonighteskimo *****."
"That SOB is deader'n Hogan's goat."
"I was tits up by 10 p.m."
"It knocked him a s s hole over appetite."
Shallowminded14 said:That's the PG rated version. It gets a little raunchyDuncanLEO said:For real?Shallowminded14 said:"Hotter than little sisters *****"CajunAggie said:
Things we say...or our dads or friends or fellow hunters say....
"That's good enough for the girls we date."
"I'm so hungry I could eat the ass end out of arag dollmenustrating skunk."
"Gonna be colder thanblue hell tonighteskimo *****."
"That SOB is deader'n Hogan's goat."
"I was tits up by 10 p.m."
"It knocked him a s s hole over appetite."
Some old-faithfuls:
"As useless as teats on a boar hog"
"You hammer like lightning - never hit the same place twice!"
"Well, see - you cut it off twice and it's STILL too short!"
"Off like a prom dress"
"As useless as teats on a boar hog"
"You hammer like lightning - never hit the same place twice!"
"Well, see - you cut it off twice and it's STILL too short!"
"Off like a prom dress"
LRHF said:
"At least we don't have to worry about Aggie football for the rest of hunting season!"
Definitely applies to this year...
That boy could eff up an anvil with a rubber mallet.
I'd rather trim my toenails with a claw hammer.
I'd rather trim my toenails with a claw hammer.
Definitely not me yesterday:
"Where the hell that deer run off to, I swear I hit 'em."
"Where the hell that deer run off to, I swear I hit 'em."
"Where's the TP? I need to take a Pelosi"
Without fail, my Longview buddy would say, "fixin' to be a turd floater, you better tie your ass down."
Another useful verse for cold weather….." so cold my pecker looks like a grub worm wearing a turtleneck sweater"
"If his brains were dynamite he wouldn't have enough to blow his nose"
Nailed a lot of them that I have heard or used. My grandpa was very reserved and mild at home, but you get him at the deer lease with his brothers and friends it was on. I bore the brunt of most of their remarks and look back on it fondly.
When my grandpa needed something he always needed it quickly, "Bubba, you move like old people F&*k, slow".
When my grandpa needed something he always needed it quickly, "Bubba, you move like old people F&*k, slow".
Hey boys, do these new cammos make my butt look big?
One more that I have not seen mentioned. If you made a mistake of any kind you got, "Well boy, you really s&!t in your own mess kit there didn't you!"
My cousin shot a nice buck and when he got it into camp to show us, one of his uncles asked him what he's going to do with it. He said I'm gonna mount it. Without skipping a beat, another uncle said - ew, at least give me a warning before you do.
Courtesy Flush said:
My cousin shot a nice buck and when he got it into camp to show us, one of his uncles asked him what he's going to do with it. He said I'm gonna mount it. Without skipping a beat, another uncle said - ew, at least give me a warning before you do.
"Right here in front of everyone?"
I don't like it, I LOVE IT!
You're the one ******* this cat, I'm just holding the tail (for who is in charge)
Bacon is a little crispy. If cooked less, bacon is a little chewy.
That was a pretty good breakfast minus all the lumps in the gravy
I saw what you did wrong but I'm not gonna tell you
Referring to a rough lady part: looked like an inside out catchers mitt
You're the one ******* this cat, I'm just holding the tail (for who is in charge)
Bacon is a little crispy. If cooked less, bacon is a little chewy.
That was a pretty good breakfast minus all the lumps in the gravy
I saw what you did wrong but I'm not gonna tell you
Referring to a rough lady part: looked like an inside out catchers mitt
I know I'm late to the party, but….
Wait till next year!
Wait till next year!
"That'll make a turd" - said after just about every meal.
"Boy's got more moves than a bucket of worms" - said about kids that can't sit still
"Boy's got more moves than a bucket of worms" - said about kids that can't sit still
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