AgsMnn said:

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nonameag99 said:

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Let's here some donkey show stories

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Was this show actually real or just an old story passed down?

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Very, very real!

Last time I was in a border town, me and a buddy were escorted to the border by the Federales. 2nd night (same federales) wasn't as fun or cordial as the first night. Something about Mexican jail and gringos.

That was around '02-'03 ish. Pat Green played at the Corona Club that weekend. Good times were had.

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Border towns used to be fun until the cartels ****ed them up.

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FIFY
Border towns used to be fun until the cartels 2009 passport ****ed them up.

The "cartels" were always there, or at least in most bigger city border towns and they made a lot of money off gringo's, easier and safer money than what goes on now.

That passport law jacked thing immaculate and killed the casual day tourist, and or night tourist, trade.

AgsMnn said:

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nonameag99 said:

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Let's here some donkey show stories

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Was this show actually real or just an old story passed down?

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One of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten.....
I was having a really ****ty day at work about 20 years ago. Buddy of mine sees how bad things are and how miserable I am and he says "Hey, no matter how bad things are, at least you never have to wake up in the morning and say to yourself 'well, I gotta go **** the donkey again.'."

Apache said:

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One of the hunters figured out that the wives were on the way and tells the gate guard "Don't let in the putas, The wives are on their way."

So the wives roll up to the gate first and the gate guard says,"No putas this weekend! The wives are coming!"

That went over pretty well!

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This didn't happen but my goodness it is a great story!!

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Close to zero of these stories actually happened.

jftx04 said:

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Hunted a famous ranch in South Texas. Day we showed up there was a gift waiting- 5 severed heads in a cooler.

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Deer heads?

up-n-aTm said:

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Not my story...friend of a friend:

South Texas, big ranch close to the border. Mid 1970's.

These guys were all high rollers on this lease. They would escape the big cities and their wives and go party their butts off at the ranch. They would bring in some of the local talent on most weekends for carnal activities. Well- the wives got word of what was happening and decided to show up and ambush the guys. One of the hunters figured out that the wives were on the way and tells the gate guard "Don't let in the putas, The wives are on their way."

So the wives roll up to the gate first and the gate guard says,"No putas this weekend! The wives are coming!"

That went over pretty well!

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Excellent!

So you're sayin you didnt believe my ping pong story. Happened in Phu-kett on Bangla road. I aint even playin.

can u imagine hooking up with a gal that was a regular in the donkey show?????? Gives a new meaning to "hotdog down a hallway"

Buddy got a dwi one night in Mexico. Cops tell him to get back in his car and follow them to the police station. Paid some money and drove home.

Had a roommate at A&M that was was on the Grass ID team. We'll just say he had lived a VERY sheltered life. Circa '97, they had a grass ID contest in Guadalajara. Well, I convinced him that the thing to do in Guadalajara was to go watch the donkey show, but he'd have to ask around to find it. I thought he would catch on that I was joking, nope. So while walking around with the girls on the team, and the team sponsor, he started asking random people where to find the donkey show. We'll just say Mr. Church of Christ was not happy to find out what he was asking about.

Ironically, he ended up getting busted as a kiddied perv several years ago.

The "wives" story may not have happened at that ranch . But I know for a fact it happened at my old deer lease in the hill country. Group of our hunters down at lease in the spring, wives in Fredericksburg, decide to come visit them . Had a Mexican cook who was hired to cook and clean at deer camp, he saw the car full of women and ran out , telling them " no *****s in deer camp, no *****s in deer camp! ) did not go over well. Pretty sure they are all divorced.

I've seen ping pong balls , raw eggs, razor blades, come out of the private's of the girls in Thailand, they can also smoke cigarettes, slice bananas and shoot it across a room, even live eels. The rest is not to be told........

You did that to him?!?! Knowing the guy you're talking about I can just picture him going up and asking people that nonchalantly.

Geez....

"The best thing about growing up in South Texas was that Mexico was never more than a few hours drive. The worst thing about growing up in South Texas was that Mexico was never more than a few hours drive."
- Roger Creager

AgsMnn said:

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nonameag99 said:

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Let's here some donkey show stories

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Was this show actually real or just an old story passed down?

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Can confirm it was real... Too bad you can't bleach memories.

Twelfthman99 said:

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AgsMnn said:

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nonameag99 said:

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Let's here some donkey show stories

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Was this show actually real or just an old story passed down?

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Can confirm it was real... Too bad you can't bleach memories I also tend to remember a Monkey show at one of the back bars behind the JH

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I also tend to remember a "Monkey show" at one of the bars behind the Hunters Club.

El chango maniaco!

Twelfthman99 said:

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Can confirm it was real... Too bad you can't bleach memories.

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This seems to be the overwhelming reaction of everyone who has ever seen it.

never seen the donkey show but theres no shortage of animal cruelty to partake in. out of all the things to do while liquored up, my old boss apparently wanted to try his shot at wrestling a bear. i guess the midget toss was too tame for him. they put mitts and a muzzle on it so he didnt think nothing could go wrong, until he threw a haymaker and that bears eyes just lit up. i think he found out how the midgets felt after that.

EFE said:

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El chango maniaco!

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Si! That made quite the impression on my 13 year old self! Yes I was 13 the first time I ventured up the mountain.

Oh, I did.

I left out the other part of the story. So he gets back to the apartment, and he avoids talking to me for a bit. Another of my buddies comes over to visit, and he start lightly laughing. Something hits me on the back, then my ear, and the back if my head (and I mean just barely enough to get my attention). Third time I smack the back of my head, and my buddy is laughing his a-- off. I turn around, and there is J standing there with a f---ing cheesy Mexican tourist (or S&M sex toy) whip. "You've been a bad boy", and hits me with the damned thing again. "Do you know what a donkey show is?" Yes. Now picture J is deaf, and this whole conversation is very high pitched, deaf voice.

You told me that story once before. It seems weirder this time but funnier as well.

Spent a lotta time on some nice cattle ranches in South Texas growing up. The food, the jokes, and the stories from some of the old time cowboys/vaqueros are great memories. Watching a good cutting horse do its thing was fun too.

Didn't happen on a ranch but did happen in Mexico, I was 17-20.
From 1979-82 a group of Ag businessmen, bankers, car dealers & farmers/ranchers from my hometown would go white wing hunting in Mexico. We crossed and stayed in McAllen and hunted with an outfitter from there (I think the name was Ramsland sp? not sure). The party usually included about 40-60 people so there were about 25-30 vehicles in our caravan (before the days everybody had a crew cab, but there were a few suburbans & vans mixed in) and they would put a big number "1" on the right front windshield to let "Federals" know who was in the hunting party. Now this was important so when you crossed over the border at the border checkpoint and then again about 20 miles in at the 2nd checkpoint they would know who to wave on through. "Payola" my Dad call it, always told me that this is same way it worked in the US, except our politicians just did it (ie business) out of view, under the table. When you came to a checkpoint the lead truck would talk for a few minutes then you would see the big envelope of cash being handed off. I came to understand exactly what he was talking about our politicians as l got older, now so even more.

So we have gone through the second checkpoint and are flying down the ****ty Mexican highway when our caravan is pulled over by the Mexican Army, two big trucks and a pickup full of soldiers. They tell us to get out of our vehicles and lineup against our vehicles with our hands behind our head. The lead vehicle (the outfitter) is frantically hollering and appealing to the Army "leader" for about 10 minutes. Turns out they evidently shorted somebody some money or at least they thought so and their recourse was to come harass us and claim that they wanted to see all our guns & ammunition. Eventually the army patron hollered at the soldiers which all looked like 16-18 yr old kids with bad camo fatigues and automatic weapons (probably weren't even loaded but I didn't give a **** at this point) and they all got back in the transport trucks. The remaining pickup pulled over to the outfitters truck and they took 4 big igloo coolers full of beer & cokes. So for our 10 agonizing minutes they bought them off with drinks!! ****in' Mexicans!

We went and shot white wing for a couple of hours, drank lots of beer and margaritas then raced 80 miles back to the border, had a great dinner at La Cucaracha's and then off to BT for the rest of the night. Going through customs with guns, dove and drunk at 2-3am probably wouldn't be allowed anymore!

We never went back after that year, but it sure was fun while it lasted.

Last time we all went was around 2003 or 2004. Buddy had a ranch just north of Laredo. The boarder guard simply said "don't go tonight, not worth it". We had all just started our careers and it wasn't our first rodeo. We were half drunk anyway and proceeded to head across the border.

Had our fun and then stumbled back to the crossing. About halfway over the bridge automatic gunfire was going off in the square on the Mexico side. Our stumble turned into a sprint.

The border guard smiled and said "told ya dumbasses".

The level of depravity, poverty, and corruption just isn't something I want to be around. No way you will find my ass down there these days.

ursusguy said:

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Oh, I did.

I left out the other part of the story. So he gets back to the apartment, and he avoids talking to me for a bit. Another of my buddies comes over to visit, and he start lightly laughing. Something hits me on the back, then my ear, and the back if my head (and I mean just barely enough to get my attention). Third time I smack the back of my head, and my buddy is laughing his a-- off. I turn around, and there is J standing there with a f---ing cheesy Mexican tourist (or S&M sex toy) whip. "You've been a bad boy", and hits me with the damned thing again. "Do you know what a donkey show is?" Yes. Now picture J is deaf, and this whole conversation is very high pitched, deaf voice.

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I think I need to know who this is.......my grad major prof coached the Plant ID team from 82 til
, well still......I meet those kids every year at the range meetings and helped administer the international contest for years. Including in Guadalajara.

CS78 said:

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Twelfthman99 said:

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Can confirm it was real... Too bad you can't bleach memories.

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This seems to be the overwhelming reaction of everyone who has ever seen it.

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Saw it myself once in Nuevo Larado around 1994 or 95. driving back across S. Texas the next morning with a severe hangover and lots of disturbing memories of the night before we get stuck behind an old truck hauling a trailer with a donkey in it. I must have showered for 2 hours when I finally got home

Interesting thread. For things that I have experienced all over Mexico I would need to type for a few hours, if not days. But just for the border I will summarize, in no particular order of stupidity, ignorance, giveadammeness, and lack of smarts;

• Convertible school bus on the main drag in Matamoros during Spring Break with a keg in it, with about 50 people, 4 being Mexican Navy Shore Patrol.
• Major brawl in a Reynosa night club that ended up causing a multiday hospital stay. Serious mayhem.
• Cuban chica in the trunk leaving Boystown in Reynosa about 5am, was very interesting when everyone sobered up.
• Greeting various and sundry wives and girlfriends at the Whataburger in Hidalgo at about 7:00am after a bachelors party ended up in Reynosa. That Puta's at the ranch story ain't got nothing on the mayhem that ensued there. I was the only single guy and hauled ass like a cheetah with a hotfoot. Wedding was almost cancelled, I mean they told the caterers to hold up. Father in laws to be, Mother in laws to be and Mom's and Dad's and a catholic priest were involved to save the wedding. I thought best to not attend.
• Figuring out the 3 hot chicas we picked up from Taboo's in Matamoros were like 16 years old. The tip off was their brothers and about 30 of their friends hunting us for several hours.
• Blowing an engine at about 4:00 on Bagdad beach, only to wake up about noon with a whole village surrounding the truck while experiencing a near fatal hangover.
• Getting a buddy out of the hoosegow in Reynosa for $60 USD, he is so drunk and pissed he punches a cop on the way out. Now we are all in the deal, Mayors daughter got us out about 10:00am, and cost us all our money and a few watches.
• Too many arrest, detained, runned from Mexican cop stories to list.
• Buddy wore the stage chica's silk bloomers home from Reynosa's boystown after he did her bareback, on stage, wearing the gorilla mask. He shed is clothes and they were stolen/lost in the mayhem. He was drunk as a bat, and was later crying in a bathtub full of HEB bottles of alcohol. I told him needed to have gotten tips.
• Machine guns are really loud in a nightclub, Eddie's in Reynosa circa 1984.
• Mom and dad's showing up to rescue their fair maiden daughters in various bars and the mom writing names down. Good times.
• Didn't technically start in Mexico, but ended up there. TABC and DPS raided a big underage party on the river, jumped in the river swam across. Either waited them out or others hitchhiked into town to the bars to catch a ride.

Really too many to list and several I would not list. Lots of mayhem growing up along the border. College was so tame compared to HS, it wasn't even funny. Even after school a few years things were very interesting.

Also, I don't know about Acuna, but Reynosa's boystown was WFO and debased as any place going in the 70's and the 80's. The government toned it down quite a bit after several really bad incidents. Donkey show, they had it, and a several other things as well. It was a lot better in the late 80's and through the mid 90's until the drugs started getting consumed wholesale there.

^ I wanna party with this guy!

Wow!

Now I want to hear the Thailand guys try to top that!!!

You will not believe what you are about to see, that human beings could have sunk so low that they can take pleasure to do this to another of God's creatures. I hope you have a strong stomach, senor!

Yeah, he was interesting dude at the time. I actually got along with him pretty well at the time. Unfortunately he made some bad decisions a few years ago.

I helped him with his Public Speaking presentations some. Had to explain that "How to ID Grass" might not be most exciting idea for his how to speech.

RGV AG said:

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Interesting thread. For things that I have experienced all over Mexico I would need to type for a few hours, if not days. But just for the border I will summarize, in no particular order of stupidity, ignorance, giveadammeness, and lack of smarts;

• Convertible school bus on the main drag in Matamoros during Spring Break with a keg in it, with about 50 people, 4 being Mexican Navy Shore Patrol.
• Major brawl in a Reynosa night club that ended up causing a multiday hospital stay. Serious mayhem.
• Cuban chica in the trunk leaving Boystown in Reynosa about 5am, was very interesting when everyone sobered up.
• Greeting various and sundry wives and girlfriends at the Whataburger in Hidalgo at about 7:00am after a bachelors party ended up in Reynosa. That Puta's at the ranch story ain't got nothing on the mayhem that ensued there. I was the only single guy and hauled ass like a cheetah with a hotfoot. Wedding was almost cancelled, I mean they told the caterers to hold up. Father in laws to be, Mother in laws to be and Mom's and Dad's and a catholic priest were involved to save the wedding. I thought best to not attend.
• Figuring out the 3 hot chicas we picked up from Taboo's in Matamoros were like 16 years old. The tip off was their brothers and about 30 of their friends hunting us for several hours.
• Blowing an engine at about 4:00 on Bagdad beach, only to wake up about noon with a whole village surrounding the truck while experiencing a near fatal hangover.
• Getting a buddy out of the hoosegow in Reynosa for $60 USD, he is so drunk and pissed he punches a cop on the way out. Now we are all in the deal, Mayors daughter got us out about 10:00am, and cost us all our money and a few watches.
• Too many arrest, detained, runned from Mexican cop stories to list.
• Buddy wore the stage chica's silk bloomers home from Reynosa's boystown after he did her bareback, on stage, wearing the gorilla mask. He shed is clothes and they were stolen/lost in the mayhem. He was drunk as a bat, and was later crying in a bathtub full of HEB bottles of alcohol. I told him needed to have gotten tips.
• Machine guns are really loud in a nightclub, Eddie's in Reynosa circa 1984.
• Mom and dad's showing up to rescue their fair maiden daughters in various bars and the mom writing names down. Good times.
• Didn't technically start in Mexico, but ended up there. TABC and DPS raided a big underage party on the river, jumped in the river swam across. Either waited them out or others hitchhiked into town to the bars to catch a ride.

Really too many to list and several I would not list. Lots of mayhem growing up along the border. College was so tame compared to HS, it wasn't even funny. Even after school a few years things were very interesting.

Also, I don't know about Acuna, but Reynosa's boystown was WFO and debased as any place going in the 70's and the 80's. The government toned it down quite a bit after several really bad incidents. Donkey show, they had it, and a several other things as well. It was a lot better in the late 80's and through the mid 90's until the drugs started getting consumed wholesale there.

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And these are the reasons I was glad to be "sober enough" to not leave TAMU at the reveille call at midnight to "Lets to go Mexico"....my kids are "sheltered" for a reason....

ursusguy said:

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Yeah, he was interesting dude at the time. I actually got along with him pretty well at the time. Unfortunately he made some bad decisions a few years ago.

I helped him with his Public Speaking presentations some. Had to explain that "How to ID Grass" might not be most exciting idea for his how to speech.

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Was he from Montana?

- Range major, c/o 97