Recs for a good pair of shorts to fight swamp a**
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Last: 4 yr ago by Old Sarge
cbr said:Jesus christ why did i come to this thread!?Buck Compton said:
Lots of good suggestions here. One more:
In the end, if you do get it.... Purell on any painful areas and they're cleared up in 10 minutes. Warning though, it's some pretty intense pain for about 30 seconds when you put the purell on. Then it clears up and is all good and you get to go about your day.
Surely that was a joke.
Combo of under armor heat gear underwear and goldbond.
Apply liberally front, then back.
Careful when you wipe, if you get a little aggressive your keister will feel like you just shoved a wintergreen tic tac up your tailpipe, not that it's bad, just, not for everyone.
If you accidentally extra strength gold bond your brown star, head immediately to the ER, or plan on crying in the fetal position for 20 min.
Apply liberally front, then back.
Careful when you wipe, if you get a little aggressive your keister will feel like you just shoved a wintergreen tic tac up your tailpipe, not that it's bad, just, not for everyone.
If you accidentally extra strength gold bond your brown star, head immediately to the ER, or plan on crying in the fetal position for 20 min.
Gold bond makes you feel like you're in air conditioning for about 10 minutes, reduces the friction for the next hour or so, then feels like it's gone after that, at least in my experience. That's just a couple weeks working 12 hr days out in the sun in jeans in the valley.
texAZtea said:
Gold bond makes you feel like you're in air conditioning for about 10 minutes, reduces the friction for the next hour or so, then feels like it's gone after that, at least in my experience. That's just a couple weeks working 12 hr days out in the sun in jeans in the valley.
I agree, but I've noticed if I wear the underarmour but skip the gold bond, the money butt is actually worse. Like it squeezes the cheeks together
Extra strength Desitin is a good preventative, and an excellent one-night cure.
The gameguard shorts are pretty bada$$.
Swampass and it's derivative, mudbutt, are absolutely OB related. Higher temp climes are one of the variables in this equation. Mixed with times moisture cubed(external humidity, internal leakage, and sweat production).
It's just a fact of the outdoors. When you are in places that make you sweat through your boots, guess what. Ya gonna have mudbutt too. Real men know this.
Legit question confirmed.
It's just a fact of the outdoors. When you are in places that make you sweat through your boots, guess what. Ya gonna have mudbutt too. Real men know this.
Legit question confirmed.
Rosin bag..will also increase the bulge.
It is so easy to be wrong—and to persist in being wrong—when the costs of being wrong are paid by others.
Thomas Sowell
Thomas Sowell
Duluth drawers....
Might I recommend a pair of cut-off Wrangler jeans, washed several times to fray, so as to avoid the insides of your legs to chaffe? The fray was quite stylish in the '70s,....
and saved $$. Not to mention, it works.
and saved $$. Not to mention, it works.
Gold Bond spray. Less messy and easier to apply than the powde.
This is what we have evolved to now?
I've always operated under the fact that swamp ass referred to sweaty ass/back of thighs . Wtf is wrong with y'all talking about wiping deeper. Mud butt is a term for diarrhea, if sitting in the heat causes you to leak diarrhea all over yourself you need to get your ass to a church.
Get you some Duluth trading company armachillo boxer briefs and you won't have any issues anymore
Anti-Monkey Butt powder!
Gold bond and Adidas golf shorts
As others have mentioned, be careful about extra strength gold bond, that can ruin your day in a hurry
As others have mentioned, be careful about extra strength gold bond, that can ruin your day in a hurry
gig em 02 said:
I've always operated under the fact that swamp ass referred to sweaty ass/back of thighs . Wtf is wrong with y'all talking about wiping deeper. Mud butt is a term for diarrhea, if sitting in the heat causes you to leak diarrhea all over yourself you need to get your ass to a church.
Duluth Armachillo underwear...boxer briefs and t-shirts, no need for that other stuff.
This thread taught me that there are men out there who've never experienced swampass. What an incredible life!
HalifaxAg said:
Duluth Armachillo underwear...boxer briefs and t-shirts, no need for that other stuff.
Exactly these are the best underwear I've owned especially for Texas heat
Waltonloads08 said:C@LAg said:
what is swamp ass?
It's a problem fat people have I guess?
I've lived in Houston summers all my life and never had this problem.
Awesome.
So what do we do if we get swampass after the zombie apocalypse and there aint no stores around?
I don't agree about cotton being the enemy, cotton as opposed to polyester breathes and lets air flow through if there is the possibility of it doing so. Some expensive nylon knits will also allow breathing, but they trap heat.
The coolest underwear I have ever had were well cut boxers made out of high percentage cotton broad cloth. Cotton is more expensive nowadays and the dying and finishing of it is less predictable than with polyester, so that is why there has been a big shift in the apparel companies going towards all the marketing inspired "wicking", "dry fit", "anti microbial" and whatever. None of those fabrics were or are new, just the application of them into active wear is.
I have made that stuff by the millions of dozens probably over the last 20 years and I am sold on high end, high quality cotton and cotton blends. There is a reason expensive sheets are made out of cotton and not polyester and or nylon. Although for some applications some nylon fabrics are really comfortable, but expensive.
The coolest underwear I have ever had were well cut boxers made out of high percentage cotton broad cloth. Cotton is more expensive nowadays and the dying and finishing of it is less predictable than with polyester, so that is why there has been a big shift in the apparel companies going towards all the marketing inspired "wicking", "dry fit", "anti microbial" and whatever. None of those fabrics were or are new, just the application of them into active wear is.
I have made that stuff by the millions of dozens probably over the last 20 years and I am sold on high end, high quality cotton and cotton blends. There is a reason expensive sheets are made out of cotton and not polyester and or nylon. Although for some applications some nylon fabrics are really comfortable, but expensive.
For post swamp-ass recovery, you can't beat Gold Bond Medicated Wipes.
Hear me out. You are gonna need to take a shower, the take a Gold Bond Wipe and use on nuts, inner thigh, ass, and taint. Next, you are gonna want to get under a fan or A/C for max benefit and enjoyment.
WARNING: do not get medicated wipe near ******* or dick hole. (I cant stress this enough)
As already pointed out, under shorts are key. Adidas Clima-lite are my go to. Haines recently came out with their own version. Summer weight merino wool also works.
As discussed, cotton is the enemy under all circumstances.
Hear me out. You are gonna need to take a shower, the take a Gold Bond Wipe and use on nuts, inner thigh, ass, and taint. Next, you are gonna want to get under a fan or A/C for max benefit and enjoyment.
WARNING: do not get medicated wipe near ******* or dick hole. (I cant stress this enough)
As already pointed out, under shorts are key. Adidas Clima-lite are my go to. Haines recently came out with their own version. Summer weight merino wool also works.
As discussed, cotton is the enemy under all circumstances.
If y'all are refering to chafing as swampass, have y'all looked at making sure you wear clothes that just fit properly? My biggest experience with chafing of any sort was growing up when clothes didn't always fit because I was growing so fast (parents would buy too big so it would last longer). Friction is the problem which is why a lot of the tech fabrics can help, they're smoother when rubbing together and often are designed to fit properly. I sweat like crazy in the summer and work outside a lot, both at home and professionally. Wearing Nomex in a refinery out side all day will bring buckets of sweat.
Walking around today, 75%+ of guys don't wear clothes that fit properly. Poor fit will cause increased friction and result in chafing, on top of looking like a slouch.
Sweating alone does not cause chafing.
Now you MF'ers that are getting mudbutt? Y'all need to make sure you're getting clean!. The toilet paper should be white before you finish. Or get yourself to a doctor. It ain't normal for **** to leak out just because you're sweating.
Walking around today, 75%+ of guys don't wear clothes that fit properly. Poor fit will cause increased friction and result in chafing, on top of looking like a slouch.
Sweating alone does not cause chafing.
Now you MF'ers that are getting mudbutt? Y'all need to make sure you're getting clean!. The toilet paper should be white before you finish. Or get yourself to a doctor. It ain't normal for **** to leak out just because you're sweating.
My recommendation was drop some lbs
Agree, fit is a big part of it.
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AG
I swear by this stuff. Even when I'm super fit, I sweat a lot and I'm....uh....a little on the Chewbacca side of things in terms of hair.La Fours said:
Swamp ass or sometimes called swass, is when excess sweating in your ass/crotchal region causes chaffing.
Gold bond is good. Runners and triathletes use a product called Body Glide. It is like a deodorant stick. It works great.
Body Glide Original Anti-Chafe Balm, 1.5oz https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00288L2N6/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_AQPbDbCQNY16R
Right now I'm in ok shape. Not overweight but not race shape. During the summer it keeps the chafing away.
$24 for 1 pair of drawers??!!!????!!!! Not even a packet of 3?? No way.Aggie_3 said:HalifaxAg said:
Duluth Armachillo underwear...boxer briefs and t-shirts, no need for that other stuff.
Exactly these are the best underwear I've owned especially for Texas heat
Get the Reebok 3 pack for $12 at Sam's Club. Better than the UnderArmour equivalent.
That is because they are made out of a thin nylon knit fabric. That stuff is crazy expensive.
Stat Monitor Repairman said:
WARNING: do not get medicated wipe near ******* or dick hole. (I cant stress this enough)
I would add that one should always identify any wer-wipe used in that area. Clorox wipes are most definitely a no-go.
True. Dont be fat!Waltonloads08 said:C@LAg said:
what is swamp ass?
It's a problem fat people have I guess?
I've lived in Houston summers all my life and never had this problem.
jeffk said:
This thread taught me that there are men out there who've never experienced swampass. What an incredible life!
You've never seen those avocado toast eating betas and soy boys having brunch on the patio? Those are the only males who have never experienced it.
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