ds00 said:
TarponChaser said:
There are some things that I can quibble with in Butker's speech but nothing major and nothing I'd really care to get into. But he's completely correct about the "diabolical lies" told to women.
The simple fact is that women, especially those of the "Third Wave Feminism" generation (ie- women currently in their late-30's to early/mid-50's" were told all the time about how "you can have it all" when for the vast, vast majority you cannot.
My wife and a number of her close girlfriends (a group of 10 or so) are extremely successful in their respective careers in their mid-40s. General counsel for a large oilfield services company, Regional VP for a public homebuilder, National Sales Directors at medical device companies, and physicians. All of them have kids. Most of them have husbands who also work and are successful as well. A couple have husbands who are HS teachers/coaches. The only one who isn't happily married is a woman who lost her husband a few years ago after he passed from a long battle with cancer.
Anyway, every single one of them feels like they were lied to about how "you can have it all." Because, every single one of them has felt like they had to sacrifice in either their family lives as wives and mothers or in their careers. The balance is difficult to achieve when they were told their entire lives how they wouldn't have to sacrifice anything to have any of that.
I don't know that any of them have regrets.
But, I find it somewhat rich that women(not so much this group of friends but in the media, etc) are feeling the consequences of these sacrifices in one area or another and so many make a big deal about it as being because of the "patriarchy" or whatever when these sacrifices of how to balance being your career, marriage, and parenting is something men have had to do for virtually the entirety of human history. We just didn't bleed all over the media about it until very recently.
I don't necessarily disagree with you about having it all, but traditionally and even today most fathers have been asked to sacrifice career much less frequently due to having a much smaller role in day to day parenting. Not saying all of course.
Disagree. Men sacrifice as much as women do when it comes to splitting careers and being parents. The difference is that, traditionally, it was expected for the man to be the primary provider and protector of the family, so the inherent sacrifices are considered normal when it comes to men. But they are sacrifices just the same.
Men, traditionally, spend the majority of their time away from their family at their jobs
Men, traditionally, are those that are called to battle and war and traditionally those that die in those events
Now, women have done the same since the dawn of time as well, but by in large the gender roles have followed more or less along the lines of those roles that nature designed for each sex - the men toiled in the fields providing for their families, they died in battle protecting their families. They were the primary provider and breadwinner. Women were the ones that bore and raised children and that, traditionally, ran the households, cooked and ensured that the children were taken care of, fed, nurtured and that the husband had a home to return to.
Simply because we view the traditional roles of a man as some type of sacrifice for a woman does not negate the fact that they are the same sacrifice for the man as well.