We’ve all thought about it.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
Some of us have studied it.
But I have studied it more than anyone. The geography. The strategy. I know how to do it.
HOW TO INVADE, OCCUPY, AND PARTITION CANADA
My detailed plan: pic.twitter.com/zgd5Gm0C4O
First, I just want to disclaim that I have no ill will against Canadians.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
But as an effective altruist I try to think about the best use of resources for the progress of humanity
I truly believe that ending the current political entity of Canada is the best use of resources. pic.twitter.com/cI06d68BCc
One thing to remember is that despite Canada’s size, nearly all the population lives in a few places: Greater Vancouver, BC; Calgary-Edmonton, AB; and Windsor-Quebec in ON and QC.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
We’ll discuss these first. And remember: they are all far away from one another. Huge country. pic.twitter.com/W8Q8gWDei0
The most important day of the Canadian calendar - when they will be most vulnerable, especially their military and police forces - is the day of the Toronto Pride Parade.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
Late June is the strike time. pic.twitter.com/b0MiE8eKsw
I have studied previous years’ Pride parade routes. The festivities will begin at least 25 blocks from the water — and won’t ever make it to the waterfront.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
Securing the waterfront is essential, as is conquering their stupid tower pic.twitter.com/UG6LKmqv70
I’ve drawn out the assault plan here. The Pride march is in Green.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
We simply go around it, secure the CN Tower, the small island airport, and then start marching to the larger international airport. pic.twitter.com/0FOTfZxn1n
It will be important to capture Trudeau QUICKLY, ideally while he's still marching in the Pride parade.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
We need soldiers that can blend in and capture him in a surprise maneuver.
The US Navy men’s volleyball team. pic.twitter.com/ZBe33xBnVB
In order to quell possible unrest in the United States, all Canadian nationals will need to stay in their homes for a period of 3 days — as will all H1B visa holders (i.e. future Canadians)
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
Anthony Fauci will be in charge of administering the lockdown. pic.twitter.com/sxcygZN4dx
Other problems: it relies on bridges in Niagara and Detroit, which the Canadians could easily destroy.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
And: invading Quebec is a mistake. It's too dangerous.
Furthermore, this was before the Alberta oil boom. Rural Ontario is useless, you need to get Alberta fast.
Remember, Canadians are into land acknowledgements, so our soldiers will declare that they are simply taking them at their word and restoring “First Nations Sovereignty”
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
We are going to need to recruit the Seattle Microsoft land acknowledgement lady to coach our soldiers. pic.twitter.com/SsOAzlkhem
B.C.’s stupid, stupid flag will be burned and replaced. No more of this, what the hell kind of flag is this?
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
Finally, American Columbia will be governed by the executive leadership of Amazon and Microsoft. pic.twitter.com/9sl4vmvtfp
The Empire Builder Amtrak stops along all the key strike points. As long as we can get our boys to Chicago, getting them to the border will be simple.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
Nobody takes Amtrak, so why would the Canadians suspect it? No troop movements will be seen, they’ll all be in the train. pic.twitter.com/j6SpJmPvxK
Banff National Park must be immediately taken.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
Its borders will be expanded into Northern Montana and renamed
JOHN MUIR CONTINENTAL PARK pic.twitter.com/RVzOkHroNm
At this point, military planes will be headed to Houston to pick up 1,000 engineers and executives from Exxon Mobil and Chevron.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
They will be responsible for quickly securing continued production of Alberta’s petroleum resources. And they’ll be given political control pic.twitter.com/fNbRRXALZT
Now we move to the conquest of the minor provinces.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
Saskatchewan and Manitoba will be comically easy. In fact I don’t even care about Saskatchewan, forget it.
Manitoba will be renamed North North Dakota. I’m pretty sure the Air Force personnel in the original North Dakota could… pic.twitter.com/FxGtsH9ZZL
Next, we consider the future of Quebec. And let’s be honest: everybody f***ing hates Quebec.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
Seeing as the Quebecois have started terrorist movements before, we want to minimize American casualties. Quebec will be given independence with conditions.
The Canadian “capital” of Ottawa is right along the border with Quebec. It will remain the capital of the Republic of Canada (Ontario, Manitoba, Saskatchewan) of which Jordan Peterson will be made Dictator in Perpetuum. The parliament will be his house
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
Peace with Quebec will be… pic.twitter.com/LOPBN9QYav
New Brunswick will be annexed by the United States as “Greater Maine” and ruled by Tucker Carlson. pic.twitter.com/CpZVCv0hX6
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
The Yukon Territory will be ruled by Joe Manchin as the head of a mining-centered government. It will also be a summer hunting retreat for American businessmen.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island should be given to the British. pic.twitter.com/jrF9WK85PZ
Sorry I should have made that clear. The only ones that will be able to vote are those in Greater Maine. Everything else will be a puppet state, and Quebec its own country.
— Max Meyer (@mualphaxi) August 10, 2023
