Time to invade Canada - according to random twitter guy

4,409 Views | 40 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by Demosthenes81
ChemEAg08
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Random twitter guy comes up with hilarious and detailed invasion plan of Canada. Thought it was worth a laugh for f16:







































Independence H-D
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That's a great deal of depth.
heavily intoxtricated
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Wow, I don't have time to read that.

If the United States actually wanted to invade Canada, we could just call them on the phone and tell them we would be taking over their country. They wouldn't do anything about it other than maybe be like no, please don't" and we would be like "nah we're going to" and they would be like "ok."
Gigem314
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B-1 83
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All I know is that the first wave should come disguised as commercial charter flights. I learned that from Red Dawn.
Being in TexAgs jail changes a man……..no, not really
Mac94
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TheEternalPessimist
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THIS IS SO AWESOME!

I showed this to my good buddy who lives in Laval, QC, CA -- and he said:

"Oui s'il vous plait!"

He even offered to be a translator for our forces!

This is a war I could actually get behind!
Satellite of Love
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I wouldn't select Exxon or Chevreon to run their oil. Get a leaner company that has the ability to make quick descisions.
cryption
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Squadron7
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I think I'm in.
AlaskanAg99
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Not 1 mention of Alaska and our ability for flanking maneuvers. Does he not realize we could attack BC from the north? They'd never see that coming.

All this time on The Wall keeping the lazy Canadians at bay.

aTm '99
ChemEAg08
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Satellite of Love said:

I wouldn't select Exxon or Chevreon to run their oil. Get a leaner company that has the ability to make quick descisions.


Exxon already owns a majority of Imperial Oil who operate in the oil sands today.
zag213004
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If we had only bought Greenland we'd have'em surrounded
aggie93
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Best plan is to actually just take a strip of Canada up through Saskatchewan/Alberta and connecting over to Alaska. That's where the O&G and natural resources are and they vote Conservative overwhelmingly. I'd be fine with just breaking up the US and Canada and just letting that strip continue down to Texas and Florida taking most of the Mountain States and Midwest with it. Make a treaty around Great Lakes access to the Atlantic and we would control the world's Energy and have conservative governance.

Military actions are a terrible idea.
"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."

Ronald Reagan
Waffledynamics
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Day of the Rake when?!
Athanasius
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I'm... uh.... IN!
samurai_science
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Canadian Bacon 1995 with John Candy
CheeseSndwch
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Are we out of wood!?
Scruffy
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That was AWESOME!
Eliminatus
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I think is actually more comprehensive then whatever the hell we had in 2003. The genius here is frankly, undeniable.

IN!
Flying Crowbar
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While brilliant and clearly foolproof, I question the wisdom of laying out the entire strategy on Twitter where the Canadians can easily read it.

I also would not advise admitting we don't have any carrier groups in the Great Lakes.
Teddy KGB
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Flying Crowbar said:


I also would not advise admitting we don't have any carrier groups in the Great Lakes.


Underrated comment. Well done!
War is Peace Freedom is Slavery Ignorance is Strength
FTA 2001
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I might have missed it among the plethora of Xweets, but how many innocent Canadian citizens does this plan contemplate being killed in this proposed war?

aggiejayrod
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Flying Crowbar said:

While brilliant and clearly foolproof, I question the wisdom of laying out the entire strategy on Twitter where the Canadians can easily read it.

I also would not advise admitting we don't have any carrier groups in the Great Lakes.


How can they possibly know about it if it's not in both English and French for the Quebecois nor written with a lisp for the ontarians.
LoudestWHOOP!
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The Canadians can thank this guy, Castro's boy,

for disarming the people of Canada to make this all too easy!

BaileyAg
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Let's do it
Flying Crowbar
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Flying Crowbar
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aggiejayrod said:

Flying Crowbar said:

While brilliant and clearly foolproof, I question the wisdom of laying out the entire strategy on Twitter where the Canadians can easily read it.

I also would not advise admitting we don't have any carrier groups in the Great Lakes.


How can they possibly know about it if it's not in both English and French for the Quebecois nor written with a lisp for the ontarians.

This is a valid point.
Win At Life
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He is right about one thing. He has put more thought into invading Canada than most people.
YouBet
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FTA 2001 said:

I might have missed it among the plethora of Xweets, but how many innocent Canadian citizens does this plan contemplate being killed in this proposed war?


There are only like 9 people in the whole country. Is it really that big of a deal?

They will get it over it.
cochrum
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That was pretty darn funny!
annie88
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akaggie05
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"No troop movements will be seen. They'll all be in the train."

Dying.
ChemEAg08
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akaggie05 said:

"No troop movements will be seen. They'll all be in the train."

Dying.


The low blow about fauci overseeing the 3 day lockdown of Canadian citizens has me rolling.
nortex97
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That's simply outstanding. I hope someone forwards that to whoever is the next chairman of the joint chiefs.
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