*****Official Funny Political Tweet Thread*****

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pagerman @ work
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In reply to justcallmeharry • 9:56a, 2/21/23
AG
justcallmeharry said:
Disasters other than you being mayor?
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Burdizzo
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In reply to justcallmeharry • 9:58a, 2/21/23
AG
justcallmeharry said:
Just in time!



"1. Burn all your Live, Laugh, Love signs. This is the first step to renouncing whiteness. Find every last "Live, Laugh, Love" sign in your home, every "Too Blessed To Be Stressed" trinket, and every "All I Need Is A Little Bit Of Coffee And A Whole Lot Of Jesus" mug and burn them as you think about your inherently sinful whiteness.
2. Rip off your skin. This is an easy one!
3. Kill yourself. Even easier! For best results, rip off your skin, then kill yourself.
4. Announce that you identify as a person of color. Wait, never mind. This one might be cultural appropriation. You also might be mistaken for a conservative trying to come up with a third joke.
5. Throw out all your ranch dressing. Ranch dressing, mayo -- it's all gotta go.
6. Take dance classes. This is a hard step, but it's worth it. As you learn to dance to a beat, your whiteness will begin to melt away.
7. Hate yourself every waking moment until you have sufficiently atoned for your whiteness. Oops! Spoiler alert: you'll never sufficiently atone for your whiteness. Better go back to step 3.
There you go! Racism ended forever!"

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justcallmeharry
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10:42a, 2/21/23
S
Has Biden's repertoire been expanded to include falling down stairs?



A member of his staff took the tumble...
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
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annie88
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12:35p, 2/21/23
AG
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annie88
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In reply to justcallmeharry • 12:36p, 2/21/23
AG
A member of his staff took the tumble...

This time. But how sad is it that everybody thought it was Biden because he's such a feeble piece of *****
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captkirk
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In reply to Biz Ag • 12:51p, 2/21/23
AG
Biz Ag said:
Headshot

Shameful they need to be reminded
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justcallmeharry
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1:14p, 2/21/23
S


"OMAHA, NE A local man was struck with the sudden concern that he may, in fact, be gay, after the suitcase he was checking at the airline ticket counter was found to exceed the 45-lb. weight limit for checked luggage.

"How could I possibly need to pack that much? Unless…" said Steven Craig. "Why on earth should I have this many perfectly matched outfits for a simple weekend trip? You don't think I could be…I mean…a man would only pack this much in his suitcase if he were…gay, right?"

Steven was left frantically debating with himself next to the airline counter as he opened his suitcase and shuffled through its contents. "Multiple pairs of shoes? Why?! Why should a guy like me need more than one pair of shoes for a trip?" he said with a stunned tone in his voice. "And what's this? A blow dryer?! I'm a dude, why should I pack a blow dryer? Hold on, why is my toiletry bag so heavy? Oh no…do I have moisturizer? Oh no. Oh please no…"

Steven then grabbed handfuls of clothing from his luggage and threw them in a nearby trash can, desperately trying to make his suitcase lighter and reassure himself of his lifestyle choices.

At publishing time, Steven's suitcase had weighed in under the required limit and he was preparing to board his flight. Witnesses said a second wave of doubt washed over him shortly before takeoff after the man in the seat next to him mistook his shoulder bag for a purse.
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
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justcallmeharry
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1:15p, 2/21/23
S
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
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annie88
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2:02p, 2/21/23
AG
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annie88
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2:03p, 2/21/23
AG
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justcallmeharry
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3:17p, 2/21/23
S
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
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justcallmeharry
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3:22p, 2/21/23
S
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
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justcallmeharry
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3:31p, 2/21/23
S
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
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justcallmeharry
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3:41p, 2/21/23
S
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
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justcallmeharry
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4:49p, 2/21/23
S
If you think I am a liberal, you are incorrect. Assume sarcasm on my part. Sorry if something I post has already been posted.
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LOYAL AG
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In reply to justcallmeharry • 6:10p, 2/21/23
AG
justcallmeharry said:


I think they're gonna be looking for awhile.
A fearful society is a compliant society. That's why Democrats and criminals prefer their victims to be unarmed. Gun Control is not about guns, it's about control.
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annie88
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6:26p, 2/21/23
AG
Well, when you're dealing with people with the economic sense of gnats… I'm sure they can't figure out how this happened.

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annie88
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In reply to justcallmeharry • 6:39p, 2/21/23
AG
justcallmeharry said:
Hey, I am all for weeding out Democrats.
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annie88
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6:39p, 2/21/23
AG
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MostlyHarmless
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In reply to justcallmeharry • 6:39p, 2/21/23
AG
justcallmeharry said:

I've always known about how the naming of these two countries is backwards but it just dawned on me that they must have been named by leftists.
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annie88
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6:42p, 2/21/23
AG
In Joe Biden's case, at the same time.

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annie88
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In reply to justcallmeharry • 6:45p, 2/21/23
AG
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magnumtmp
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In reply to justcallmeharry • 6:51p, 2/21/23
AG
justcallmeharry said:


Everyone you turn down for employment….you're calling them stupid.

Bold strategy.
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annie88
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6:59p, 2/21/23
AG
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annie88
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7:00p, 2/21/23
AG
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annie88
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7:21p, 2/21/23
AG
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annie88
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7:22p, 2/21/23
AG
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captkirk
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9:29p, 2/21/23
AG
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captkirk
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9:37p, 2/21/23
AG
First time trying Texas Chili

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Ag with kids
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In reply to captkirk • 9:42p, 2/21/23
AG
captkirk said:
First time trying Texas Chili

Um....

That **** had BEANS in it.

That is NOT "Texas" chili.

That's bean stew with chili flavors.
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jrrhouston98
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In reply to captkirk • 9:55p, 2/21/23
AG
His butthole is gonna look like the Japanese flag tomorrow
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jkag89
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In reply to oh no • 10:05p, 2/21/23
oh no said:
The sad thing there is such a warning on at least one episode of The Muppet Show. Can not remember which one but the joke that was "offensive" was when Gonzo (and I'm paraphrasing here) that a guy wearing a dress would be weird. That was it.
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oh no
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8:42a, 2/22/23
AG
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MostlyHarmless
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In reply to oh no • 9:22a, 2/22/23
AG
oh no said:

I'm not gonna lie. That was a little impressive. I've never seen that swirl move before.
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oh no
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9:37a, 2/22/23
AG
I'll be attempting the swirl move later today
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