k2aggie07 said:

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I can't speak for anyone's perception of a low or high number. Just my own.

Promiscuity is related to a casual attitude toward sex. So.. how many people do you have to have sex with before you have a casual attitude toward sex?

I mean... the opposite of casual is serious. How many serious girlfriends does the average person have? Probably 4 or 5?

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Oh, I don't disagree. The first thing that popped in my head was let's say a woman has serious relationships with 5 men over the course of 10 years. That doesn't seem like a large number. Now, assuming (since this seems like a secular study) that she had sex w/ each of these partners, I wouldn't see how that would necessarily be construed as a casual attitude about sex.

Just seemed odd and extremely arbitrary to me.

How you doin' young lady
That feelin' that you givin' really drives me crazy
You don't have to play about the joke
I was at a loss of words first time that we spoke

You're looking for a girl that'll treat you right
You lookin' for her in the day time with the light
You might be the type if I play my cards right
I'll find out by the end of the night

[N:] You expect me to just let you hit it
But will you still respect me if you get it

All I can do is try, gimme one chance
What's the problem I don't see no ring on your hand

I be the first to admit it, I'm curious about you, you seem so innocent

[N:] You wanna get in my world, get lost in it
Boy I'm tired of running, lets walk for a minute

[Chorus]
Promiscuous girl
Wherever you are
I'm all alone
And it's you that I want

[N:] Promiscuous boy
You already know
That I'm all yours
What you waiting for?

Promiscuous girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need

[N:] Promiscuous boy
Let's get to the point
Cause we're on a roll
Are you ready?

[Verse]
[N:] Roses are red
Some diamonds are blue
Chivalry is dead
But you're still kinda cute

Hey! I can't keep my mind off you
Where you at, do you mind if I come through

[N:] I'm out of this world come with me to my planet
Get you on my level do you think that you can handle it?

They call me Thomas
last name Crown
Recognize game
I'm a lay mine's down

[N:] I'm a big girl I can handle myself
But if I get lonely I'ma need your help
Pay attention to me I don't talk for my health

I want you on my team
[N:] So does everybody else.

Baby we can keep it on the low
Let your guard down ain't nobody gotta know
If you with it girl I know a place we can go

[N:] What kind of girl do you take me for?

[Chorus]
Don't be mad, don't get mean
[N:] Don't get mad, don't be mean

Hey! Don't be mad, don't get mean
[N:] Don't get mad, don't be mean

Wait! I don't mean no harm
I can see you with my t-shirt on

I can see you with nothing on
feeling on me before you bring that on

Bring that on
[N:] You know what I mean

Girl, I'm a freak you shouldn't say those things

I'm only trying to get inside your brain
To see if you can work me the way you say

It's OK, it's alright
I got something that you gonna like

Hey is that the truth or are you talking trash
Is your game M.V.P. like Steve Nash

[Chorus]
Promiscuous Girl
Wherever you are
I'm all alone
And its you that I want

[N:] Promiscuous Boy
I'm calling your name
But you're driving me crazy
The way you're making me wait

Promiscuous Girl
You're teasing me
You know what I want
And I got what you need

[N:] Promiscuous Boy
We're one in the same
So we don't gotta play games no more

Madman said:

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I know part of why the guys writing caught my eye is because I am getting old. I would have rejected it straight away if I was still college age.

But after watching so many people go through divorces that I know, and looking for reasons why, I can say most of the people I know who are still married are guys who may have been poon hounds while in college or young, but their wives were "good girls".

You never know if these good girls were sleeping around but the ones I am thinking of I don't think did. The divorced friends all married girls I wouldn't think of as ****s but certainly had their fare share of sexual partners.

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Good observations. You can almost guess the ages of the posters based on their replies.

Furthermore, loose women are almost always BSC but it's when they lose their sexual power that they are truly to be pitied. Few sights are as gut wrenching as the countenance of a used up vixen who once was sexy but has lost her appeal.

I addressed your question in the next line. You can never know for sure.

Quote:

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I addressed your question in the next line. You can never know for sure.

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that's my point - why allow confirmation bias at all by assuming anything? it seems like you are "sure" on a few and therefore assume that the ones you don't know didn't.

Negative value has to do with the relationship factor. Some relationships are negative value.

swimmerbabe11 said:

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It's an awful and sinful way to look at people around you.

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Proverbs 5:1-13
1 My son, attend unto my wisdom, and bow thine ear to my understanding:
2 That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge.
3 For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil:
4 But her end is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death; her steps take hold on hell.
6 Lest thou shouldest ponder the path of life, her ways are moveable, that thou canst not know them.
7 Hear me now therefore, O ye children, and depart not from the words of my mouth.
8 Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house:
9 Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel:
10 Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger;
11 And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed,
12 And say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof;
13 And have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me!

RetiredAg said:

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swimmerbabe11 said:

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It's an awful and sinful way to look at people around you.

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Agreed. Even the most promiscuous woman alive is of infinite value to our Lord.

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Proverbs 7King James Version (KJV)
7 My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee.
2 Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye.
3 Bind them upon thy fingers, write them upon the table of thine heart.
4 Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman:
5 That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.
6 For at the window of my house I looked through my casement,
7 And beheld among the simple ones, I discerned among the youths, a young man void of understanding,
8 Passing through the street near her corner; and he went the way to her house,
9 In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night:
10 And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.
11 (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:
12 Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.)
13 So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,
14 I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows.
15 Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.
16 I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.
19 For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey:
20 He hath taken a bag of money with him, and will come home at the day appointed.
21 With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him.
22 He goeth after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool to the correction of the stocks;
23 Till a dart strike through his liver; as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life.
24 Hearken unto me now therefore, O ye children, and attend to the words of my mouth.
25 Let not thine heart decline to her ways, go not astray in her paths.
26 For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her.
27 Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death.

AstroAg17 said:

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The negative value thing is just a utilitarian assessment of someone's social relationships. Some people operate like that. Some don't. I think most are somewhere in between, where they are utilitarian at times and less logical at other times.

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There's some truth to that, but even when we aren't using logic in our pursuits of human relationships, we still instinctively pursue forms of utility. Or are you trying to pick up women down at the local nursing home?

swimmerbabe11 said:

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It's an awful and sinful way to look at people around you.

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I think you misread the point. It wasn't a value judgement about the person, but rather the relationship. If I get married to a woman who is guaranteed to divorce me and take my half my ****, that relationship has a negative expected value. I believe that was what was meant.

AstroAg17 said:

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The negative value thing is just a utilitarian assessment of someone's social relationships. Some people operate like that. Some don't. I think most are somewhere in between, where they are utilitarian at times and less logical at other times.

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I think it actually refers to a negative expected value as the probability of divorce is high enough that the expected value is negative due to losing half his crap in divorce.

k2aggie07 said:

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This thread reminds me of that old stand up about driving. Anyone going slower than me is an idiot and anyone faster a maniac.

Anyone who has a lower number than me is a prude and anyone higher is a ****.

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AstroAg17 said:

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RetiredAg said:

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swimmerbabe11 said:

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It's an awful and sinful way to look at people around you.

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Agreed. Even the most promiscuous woman alive is of infinite value to our Lord.

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Agreed. Jesus loves everyone, even your mom.

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Okay, I laughed. Well played.

The most crazy, biggest game players I dated after college were those that had fewer than 5 partners.

I think if someone had a lot of partners, I would wonder about their risk-taking attitudes. but I also wouldn't expect them to ignore it about me if I had also.

Quote:

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The premise: too much promiscuity is a warning flag for a burgeoning relationship.

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I think the issue is that you can't reduce promiscuity down to a certain number of partners. How one arrives at their number matters more than the number itself. Sure, there's probably a number that's high enough that one can assume how they arrived there, but I am not sure if teasing out that number is really value added.

Fair enough AstroAg. And sure, at the end of the day personal interaction governs relationship choices. The statement in the OP is more along the lines of the law of large numbers.

I think it's a certainty that with unlimited information and enough trials both of those premises would become true.

schmendeler said:

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I think if someone had a lot of partners, I would wonder about their risk-taking attitudes. but I also wouldn't expect them to ignore it about me if I had also.

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This is my take as well. I would worry about someone with alot of partners the same way as I would about someone that did a lot of any risky behavior. Be they male or female.

I'm not sure I agree that sexual activity should be treated the same as any other behavior. Any behavior has risks, and some may be perceived as more inherently risky than others. I'm not sure that the riskiness of the sexual activity is the main reason to disqualify it. There are myriad implications that would make me take risky behavior A (sexual promiscuity) under a different light than risky behavior B (let's say, skydiving).

i felt this was relevant here.

k2aggie07 said:

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I'm not sure I agree that sexual activity should be treated the same as any other behavior. Any behavior has risks, and some may be perceived as more inherently risky than others. I'm not sure that the riskiness of the sexual activity is the main reason to disqualify it. There are myriad implications that would make me take risky behavior A (sexual promiscuity) under a different light than risky behavior B (let's say, skydiving).

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there is a non-trival amount of risk that is undertaken any time you have sex with someone new. After all you are placing yourself in the most vulnerable state you possible can, and typically in unfamiliar physical settings and with an unknown actor.

If I found out that someone was going skydiving on a regular basis with a parachute that was packed by some random chick they met on the side of the road, I would think they lacked any real risk management/mitigation skills and wouldn't be someone that I would probably feel too comfortable hitching my cart to just like if she was sleeping with some random dude every day or if she was letting some homeless guy sleep on her couch or let some stranger borrow his car because she asked nicely.

I feel the same way about anyone that was acting with so little care regardless of their sex.