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I don't understand the dichotomy view; as in either God controls everything or he controls nothing. I know we go back and forth on this a lot, but I don't see how God's perfect knowledge of what will happen necessitates that he himself is the agent of every occurence in the world.
Like Aggrad has mentioned before... all these problems go away once you stop staying He is all-powerful and all-knowing and simply say He is incredibly powerful and mostly-knowing.
If God knew every thought and action every person would make and chose to create them anyways, He has authored it. They cannot do anything other than what He already knew they would do (I understand your position on God's timelessness -- however, it doesn't change the outcome). We can do nothing but live the life God has predetermined / willed for us. Whether we go to Heaven or to a literal Hell was known to Him well-before our births. Saying we have free will because He gave it to us doesn't fix this problem. We still can't do anything other than what He knew we would do.
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If I stub my toe when I got up this morning; was that God's will?
Yes
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Or was that from me leaving the book I was reading last night smack dab in the middle of the path from the bed to the bathroom?
Same thing.
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Whether or not God knew I was going to stub my toe is irrelevant
That's because stubbing your toe is pretty much irrelevant. This logic obviously wouldn't apply to whether or not one goes to Hell, or a lot of other things that aren't nearly so irrelevant.