I just finished watching the original Willy Wonka with my kids. Now, ever since I was a kid I've always been creeped out by the movie, but I never really knew why until tonight. I always thought it was because of the creepy spray tans on the Oompa Loompas. Tonight, I realized Willy Wonka is a slasher film for kids.
Let's look at the evidence. Each room in the factory is set up as a trap for each kid. From the news interview with Augustus Gloop, it's clear that he can't resist chocolate. Wonka sees this, and sets up a chocolate river that he knows Gloop won't be able to resist, with a drain big enough to suck up a kid and send him straight to the boiler.
Next comes the boat ride. The boat only had enough room for eight people, plus Wonka (who stands). The only way the boat works is if Wonka is planning on taking out one of the kids before they get on the boat. Now, about the boat ride. That boat ride was f'd up. Wonka is showing the kids videos of chickens getting their heads cut off, while singing with delight as the kids scream in horror? That man is twisted.
Next up is the inventing room, where he conveniently shows off his gum. Again, from the news footage, he knows Violet is addicted to gum, so he dangles out his magical gum to plump her up... And then sends her to the frigging juicer.
Now is what should be Charlie's turn. He knows that Charlie is a good, honest kid, and he probably won't be tempted, so he goes after his drunk of a grandfather. Let's talk about Grandpa Joe for a minute. This lazy ass hat has not been out of bed for 20 years, but the second he finds out he's got a free trip to the chocolate factory, he jumps right out and starts dancing around the house. Truth is, Grandpa Joe is a lazy drunk who is letting his daughter and grandson do all the work while he just lays in bed drunk all day. Wonka knows this, so he tempts Grandpa with the bubbly, with the plan of chopping up Grandpa and Charlie in the fan blade. Only though sheer luck of a well timed burp are they able to stay alive.
Wonka knows his next two victims don't actual care all that much about sugar, so he tempts Veruca with a golden egg and then sends her off to the incinerator! And this is supposed to be a kids movie!
After he gets rid of Veruca, getting Mike to shrink himself to be small enough to fit in the taffy machine was easy. He calls one of his Oompa Loompas to take him to be pulled apart. That's so f'd up, the Oompa Loompa objects, but eventually is persuaded to tear the kid apart. Likely, because he's too scared of Wonka after seeing the inner workings of the murder house.
Let's talk about the Oompa Loompas for a second. It's clear Wanka kid napped a whole race of indigenous people and bought them over and forced them to work as slave labor in his factory until they are red on the face.
At the end, Wonka is so upset that Charlie was able to best his murder house, he seeks revenge on not just Charlie, but also his entire family. He tricks Charlie into bringing his whole family to the murder house, where he no doubt has more traps.
Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory is murder house set up to kill children in the most gruesome ways, and Willy Wonka is a homicidle maniac on the level of Freddy Kruger and Jason Voorhees. The only question I have now, is does Wonka make his chocolate from the children? I tend to think this is likely.
Let's look at the evidence. Each room in the factory is set up as a trap for each kid. From the news interview with Augustus Gloop, it's clear that he can't resist chocolate. Wonka sees this, and sets up a chocolate river that he knows Gloop won't be able to resist, with a drain big enough to suck up a kid and send him straight to the boiler.
Next comes the boat ride. The boat only had enough room for eight people, plus Wonka (who stands). The only way the boat works is if Wonka is planning on taking out one of the kids before they get on the boat. Now, about the boat ride. That boat ride was f'd up. Wonka is showing the kids videos of chickens getting their heads cut off, while singing with delight as the kids scream in horror? That man is twisted.
Next up is the inventing room, where he conveniently shows off his gum. Again, from the news footage, he knows Violet is addicted to gum, so he dangles out his magical gum to plump her up... And then sends her to the frigging juicer.
Now is what should be Charlie's turn. He knows that Charlie is a good, honest kid, and he probably won't be tempted, so he goes after his drunk of a grandfather. Let's talk about Grandpa Joe for a minute. This lazy ass hat has not been out of bed for 20 years, but the second he finds out he's got a free trip to the chocolate factory, he jumps right out and starts dancing around the house. Truth is, Grandpa Joe is a lazy drunk who is letting his daughter and grandson do all the work while he just lays in bed drunk all day. Wonka knows this, so he tempts Grandpa with the bubbly, with the plan of chopping up Grandpa and Charlie in the fan blade. Only though sheer luck of a well timed burp are they able to stay alive.
Wonka knows his next two victims don't actual care all that much about sugar, so he tempts Veruca with a golden egg and then sends her off to the incinerator! And this is supposed to be a kids movie!
After he gets rid of Veruca, getting Mike to shrink himself to be small enough to fit in the taffy machine was easy. He calls one of his Oompa Loompas to take him to be pulled apart. That's so f'd up, the Oompa Loompa objects, but eventually is persuaded to tear the kid apart. Likely, because he's too scared of Wonka after seeing the inner workings of the murder house.
Let's talk about the Oompa Loompas for a second. It's clear Wanka kid napped a whole race of indigenous people and bought them over and forced them to work as slave labor in his factory until they are red on the face.
At the end, Wonka is so upset that Charlie was able to best his murder house, he seeks revenge on not just Charlie, but also his entire family. He tricks Charlie into bringing his whole family to the murder house, where he no doubt has more traps.
Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory is murder house set up to kill children in the most gruesome ways, and Willy Wonka is a homicidle maniac on the level of Freddy Kruger and Jason Voorhees. The only question I have now, is does Wonka make his chocolate from the children? I tend to think this is likely.
