• I wasn't flirting with her! I didn't even mention that I worked in propane.

• A poodle? Why don't you just get me a cat and a sex change operation?

• If Bobby doesn't love football, he won't lead a fulfilling life, and then he'll die.

Bobby: "Why do you hate what you don't understand?"
Hank: "I don't hate you, Bobby."
Bobby: "I meant soccer, Dad."
Hank: "Oh, soccer. Yeah, I hate soccer."

Bobby repeating Strickland: (at the golf course) I got under more balls than a midget hooker.

"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"

I told you I didn't rent the tape. Now who's calling me a liar, you or the machine?! Because I want to know whose ass to kick.

If you are going to start quoting bobby.

HANK: I can't shoot... My aim is terrible, I can barely keep the gun steady.
PEGGY (after a long, agonized pause): I still love you!

"I tell you what, I caught more fish today than I did in the 80s. And those were the Reagan years!"

The little league team is always looking for a husky boy to play catcher. And I know how you like to wear masks...

I really should have watched this show more. Just reading these is cracking me up.

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"Hank's got a narrow urethra." /Peggy

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Please disregard anything Peggy has ever said. She sucks.

Bobby!! Please respect my fence's right to be a fence!

Dale's dad: Oh my god Hank are you gay?

Hank: What?! NO! I sell propane!

quote:

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^ Any time I have to use a made up name, I use Rusty Shackleford.

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I went to school with a guy named Shackleford. The first time we met, I asked if he was related to rusty. I had expected/hoped for the "really dude, that is the best you have" reaction. But it turned out that he had no idea what I was talking about...I knew in that moment we would never be friends.

At a diversity training at my work (around 10 years ago) we had to create a backstory based solely on a picture of someone. They showed us a picture of someone resembling a Native American, so my group gave him the name of John Redcorn.

The facilitators were Yankees and were not pleased. They obviously had not watched the show.

quote:

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At a diversity training...resembling a Native American, so my group gave him the name of John Redcorn.

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"I guess it's our fault Peggy. Somewhere along the line, we forgot to teach Bobby shame."

The whole purpose of the training was to say you can't stereotype people. So they showed you a picture of a person, made you come up with a background, and then gave you their real background.

It was a worthless training. The fact that there is a black person who is a Mormon doesn't surprise anyone. However, nobody in their right mind would create a background story for a black person by saying they were Mormon. The odds aren't in your favor if you are trying to get it right.

My group was tired of the ridiculousness, so we created the most insane farce characiture of a Native American ever. I can't remember everything, but ridiculous things like: name was John Redcorn, worked at a reservation casino, was a horse thief, etc. Basically, things that would get you in trouble in today's PC work environment.

I had to shut the door to my office, I'm laughing so hard.

King of the Hill came out my sophomore year in college. I still remember guys crowding into our room to watch King of the Hill and Beavis and Butthead.

I miss college.