Best Hank Hill quotes

47,456 Views | 102 Replies | Last: 9 yr ago by Stupe
HBtriplesticks
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3:18p, 6/11/15
AG
In the "Bill dozer" episode:

Coach: I don't have any more spots on the roster. I'd have to cut someone.

Hank: there's that exchange student who kicks barefoot...I think we've all seen about enough of that.

I'm sure the wording is off, going from memory.
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AgPediRPh
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In reply to R0GUE • 4:40p, 6/11/15
AG
quote:
Any time I have to use a made up name, I use Rusty Shackleford.


SHI-SHA!
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Brock Sampson
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6:10p, 6/11/15
AG
Yes, yes. We'll have fun, but you know what's not fun? Being ill-prepared.
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McNasty
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10:55p, 6/11/15
AG
Mike Judge fans should check out the recent Nerdist podcast with him.
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Ag 11
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2:47a, 6/12/15
AG
Why are you holding your cigarette like some sort of European nazi in the movies?
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gigemJTH12
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8:09a, 6/12/15
AG
thanks for this guys. You know a show is that funny when you can just read through a thread of single quotes and laugh out loud
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JD05AG
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In reply to AgPediRPh • 4:47p, 6/14/15
AG
quote:
quote:
Any time I have to use a made up name, I use Rusty Shackleford.


SHI-SHA!


POCKET SAND!!!!
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AMW2010
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5:08p, 6/14/15
AG






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AggieEE
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10:31p, 6/14/15
AG
Got dangit bobbeh
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sarancher
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11:11p, 6/14/15
Definitely Not A Cop
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1:10a, 6/15/15
AG
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mike_ags_fan12
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8:22p, 6/15/15
Can I ask you a question?

Hwhat and hwat accessories do I sell for a living?
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chris1515
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9:38p, 6/15/15
AG
The only woman I'm pimping is sweet lady propane! And I'm tricking her out all over this town.

If this thread isn't enough, check out
Www.hankhillquotes.com
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Skinny Wrinkles
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8:11a, 6/16/15
AG
So are ya Chinese or Japanese?
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Jeff Boomhauer
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10:30p, 6/16/15
I tell you what, dang ol Hank, he be'ol , my mistress is dadgum propane, Peggy and I have an understanding, man.
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Lance Uppercut
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In reply to mike_ags_fan12 • 10:31p, 6/16/15
AG
quote:
Can I ask you a question?

Hwhat and hwat accessories do I sell for a living?
Tractors?

You used to sell tractors.

Yeah, but he didn't know that.
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Justin2010
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11:52p, 6/16/15
AG
HANK: Now go start that report.
BOBBY: But which president should I... (Hank glares; Bobby sighs) ...Ronald Reagan.
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YouBet
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12:21a, 6/17/15
AG
I never watched this show much but for some reason I remember an episode where he finds his niece(?) who ends up living with them in bed with a boy. Hank is in a hurry for some reason and doesn't have time to address it and he tells them, "You and you....kick each other's ass until I get back." Or something like that. It was hilarious.
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Brock Sampson
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11:30a, 6/17/15
AG
This show ended too soon
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TXAG 05
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In reply to Brock Sampson • 11:46a, 6/17/15
AG
quote:
This show ended too soon

Yeah, it only ran 13 years
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Skinny Wrinkles
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12:44p, 6/17/15
AG
Is this show popular outside of Texas? Obviously it ran a while so someone was watching but is it near as big of a deal anywhere else?

It's Texas heavy so I would guess that the bulk of the rating come from here.
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jrod2181
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1:06p, 6/17/15
Peggy. "Hank, the day after Thanksgiving is, in my opinion, the biggest shopping day of the year. And I will not spend another year giving Dallas Mavericks crap because the Cowboys stuff was all sold out."
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Brock Sampson
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In reply to TXAG 05 • 2:43p, 6/17/15
AG
quote:
quote:
This show ended too soon

Yeah, it only ran 13 years


Too damn soon
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Bruce Almighty
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4:08p, 6/17/15
AG
It ended when it needed to. It was getting stale towards the end.
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Inspector Spacetime
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4:15p, 6/17/15
AG
One of my favorite lines from a later season, when Boomhauer trades houses with a Canadian family for the summer:

quote:
Hank: Canada? A man only has so many summers Boomhauer. Why would you waste yours in a country that's dismantling its Navy?
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Duncan Idaho
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4:23p, 6/17/15
Lau Ann platter is still one of the most perfect named ever giving a character
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Skinny Wrinkles
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In reply to McNasty • 1:09p, 6/22/15
AG
quote:
Mike Judge fans should check out the recent Nerdist podcast with him.

Awesome find. Listened to it yesterday and had never heard of his new series Silicon Valley. Finished the first season a few hours later.
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heddleston
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In reply to Skinny Wrinkles • 7:29a, 6/23/15
AG
Yeah i had friends from the Pacific NW who loved it. Sure, they dont get alot of the TX inside jokes or go, "oh man thats just like my dad/brother/neighbor/me", but they still thought it was hilarious.
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B/CS Dreaming
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10:36p, 6/23/15
AG
"Peggy...I can see your what-nots."
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srx
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12:49a, 6/24/15
AG
"Don't let the other boys tease you too much, Bobby. You're the mascot not the placekicker."
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Brock Sampson
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1:46p, 6/24/15
AG
HANK: Bobby, every woman has a period... of time every month.
BOBBY: Even Mom?
HANK: Bobby, if we're gonna get through this, you cannot ask me questions like that.
BOBBY: My bad.
HANK: Now, every month, a woman has this time when she gets very angry at everything. And usually, men are the everything. It's like a tire fire. Trying to put it out just makes it worse. You just gotta let it burn. Grab a beer, and let it burn.


Possibly the greatest dialogue between hank and Bobby on the show.
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Skinny Wrinkles
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10:11p, 6/24/15
AG
Bobby: Guys can shave their legs too, that's very interesting...
Hank: Peggy!
Peggy: Bobby!
Bobby: Sorry Dad.
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Stupe
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In reply to TXAG 05 • 10:46p, 6/24/15
S
quote:
quote:
This show ended too soon

Yeah, it only ran 13 years
Like he said....too soon.
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Stupe
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10:56p, 6/24/15
S
When the over-the-top church lady that hated Halloween confronted Hank:

Lady: The complacency of fools will destroy them. Proverbs.
Hank: Get out of my house. Exodus!
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