KidDoc said:

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I hold doors and give up my seat for any gender. It is called being nice and kind.

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I am assuming you are a man. So you give up your seat to another man? What if he gives up his seat for you as he also believes what you do. Then both of you would be giving up the seat and would reach your destination with both standing.

LupinusTexensis said:

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KidDoc said:

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I hold doors and give up my seat for any gender. It is called being nice and kind.

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Same. And I'm not going to let a door slam in the face of a man, woman, or child.

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Door slam, I agree. What about giving up your seat? If you are taking public transport would you call the person standing next to you and give him/her your seat?

The Porkchop Express said:

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infinity ag said:

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I was in the elevator of the office building this morning and it was packed, but I could hear 2 women talking on the other side. They were loud and didn't care if they were heard.

One woman complained that in the train none of the men would stand up for her and give her their seat. The other woman nodded and said "I wonder who is raising them?". Then the first woman goes "Good luck getting a girlfriend with that kinda attitude!".

Then the first woman complained about how men had no chivalry these days and said most did not stand up for a pregnant woman. Then she goes "I am 4 months pregnant. I am not showing but I am". The second one nods her head.

They were loud throughout as if hoping to take jabs at the men around them in the elevator.

Questions to the folks here are:

• This is 2024, not 1924. Why do women expect chivalry when they are "liberated" and "better than men"?
• Why does this woman expect men to give her their seat in the train when she herself says she is not showing? Maybe they may have given up (I would have) if I saw a pregnant woman.
• Why is she trying to shame publicly? Imagine what she is posting now on her social media accounts.

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Chivalry isn't about a woman's expectations, but what about you as a man, should do to be kind to other people. Opening doors, giving up your seat, etc., takes a very small amount of effort in the grand scheme of things, but can lift someone else's spirts or make their day a little better.

I don't do a lot of public transportation outside of Disney World, but on the buses to and from the parks, I always give up my seat for any woman, any senior citizen, or any young kid, and my own children - who are both girls - have been taught to do likewise.

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You are free to define it as you wish as long as you don't impose your beliefs on others and don't shame others for having their own views.

I don't differentiate man or woman. Women are not any special and men are not any inferior. I will give up my seat to whomever needs it. The elderly (man or woman), pregnant women (if a man says he is pregnant, I will tel him to f off). disabled people, man or woman. Anyone who needs help in some way I feel can help. And my wife. Kids can stand. So can healthy and young women.

infinity ag said:

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KidDoc said:

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I hold doors and give up my seat for any gender. It is called being nice and kind.

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I am assuming you are a man. So you give up your seat to another man? What if he gives up his seat for you as he also believes what you do. Then both of you would be giving up the seat and would reach your destination with both standing.

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Probably the introduction scene to a 90s gay prono

How long was this elevator ride

infinity ag said:

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LupinusTexensis said:

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KidDoc said:

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I hold doors and give up my seat for any gender. It is called being nice and kind.

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Same. And I'm not going to let a door slam in the face of a man, woman, or child.

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Door slam, I agree. What about giving up your seat? If you are taking public transport would you call the person standing next to you and give him/her your seat?

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I don't have a hard guideline based on gender or age. I just assess the situation and see if it looks like that person is having a tougher go of it than me for whatever reason (pregnant, traveling with kid, old, visible disability). If they decline the offer, nbd. I just let my conscience and sense of kindness lead.

LupinusTexensis said:

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infinity ag said:

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LupinusTexensis said:

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KidDoc said:

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I hold doors and give up my seat for any gender. It is called being nice and kind.

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Same. And I'm not going to let a door slam in the face of a man, woman, or child.

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Door slam, I agree. What about giving up your seat? If you are taking public transport would you call the person standing next to you and give him/her your seat?

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I don't have a hard guideline based on gender or age. I just assess the situation and see if it looks like that person is having a tougher go of it than me for whatever reason (pregnant, traveling with kid, old, visible disability). If they decline the offer, nbd. I just let my conscience and sense of kindness lead.

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I think we agree on this.

TecRecAg said:

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How long was this elevator ride

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6 floors.

jetch17 said:

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Well esp if they had bigger cans

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Pregnant cans.

MouthBQ98 said:

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3rd and 4th wave feminists socially bullied males into this, and set up a circumstance where it at least appears some women would like to have their cake and eat it also. If we as a society chose to abandon the historical legacy and social expectations of traditional roles, the benefits are cast out along with the costs.

I think it's not unreasonable we come to a broad social compromise and look at both intent and result on a case by case basis, and decide that it's not condescending to simply be nice, and there are some social traditions that have real time tested value in them and aren't either selfish or random.

I chose to hold the door for everyone. I'll give up my seat to women, or children, or the elderly or disabled. The intent is to be kind to those who by their circumstance would benefit more from the seat than I would.

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That's very cool of you. Clearly you are a gentleman, and properly raised.

Have a nice day.

JamesPShelley said:

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MouthBQ98 said:

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3rd and 4th wave feminists socially bullied males into this, and set up a circumstance where it at least appears some women would like to have their cake and eat it also. If we as a society chose to abandon the historical legacy and social expectations of traditional roles, the benefits are cast out along with the costs.

I think it's not unreasonable we come to a broad social compromise and look at both intent and result on a case by case basis, and decide that it's not condescending to simply be nice, and there are some social traditions that have real time tested value in them and aren't either selfish or random.

I chose to hold the door for everyone. I'll give up my seat to women, or children, or the elderly or disabled. The intent is to be kind to those who by their circumstance would benefit more from the seat than I would.

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That's very cool of you. Clearly you are a gentleman, and properly raised.

Have a nice day.

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So he is a 1920s style gentleman. What in your view is expected from 2024 ladies?

infinity ag said:

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JamesPShelley said:

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MouthBQ98 said:

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3rd and 4th wave feminists socially bullied males into this, and set up a circumstance where it at least appears some women would like to have their cake and eat it also. If we as a society chose to abandon the historical legacy and social expectations of traditional roles, the benefits are cast out along with the costs.

I think it's not unreasonable we come to a broad social compromise and look at both intent and result on a case by case basis, and decide that it's not condescending to simply be nice, and there are some social traditions that have real time tested value in them and aren't either selfish or random.

I chose to hold the door for everyone. I'll give up my seat to women, or children, or the elderly or disabled. The intent is to be kind to those who by their circumstance would benefit more from the seat than I would.

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That's very cool of you. Clearly you are a gentleman, and properly raised.

Have a nice day.

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So he is a 1920s style gentleman. What in your view is expected from 2024 ladies?

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"Ladies" is the key word. I've found that older "ladies" are receptive to chivlary. The younger "Instagram, Tik Tok, etc." gals... not so much. They've been brainwashed.

Me. I'll continue to open doors for women... give up my seat (where applicable)... say, "Thank you, Maam" to those "of age"... as do my two grown sons, 33. I'm a 1960's gentleman. My sons, 1990's.

JamesPShelley said:

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infinity ag said:

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JamesPShelley said:

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MouthBQ98 said:

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3rd and 4th wave feminists socially bullied males into this, and set up a circumstance where it at least appears some women would like to have their cake and eat it also. If we as a society chose to abandon the historical legacy and social expectations of traditional roles, the benefits are cast out along with the costs.

I think it's not unreasonable we come to a broad social compromise and look at both intent and result on a case by case basis, and decide that it's not condescending to simply be nice, and there are some social traditions that have real time tested value in them and aren't either selfish or random.

I chose to hold the door for everyone. I'll give up my seat to women, or children, or the elderly or disabled. The intent is to be kind to those who by their circumstance would benefit more from the seat than I would.

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That's very cool of you. Clearly you are a gentleman, and properly raised.

Have a nice day.

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So he is a 1920s style gentleman. What in your view is expected from 2024 ladies?

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"Ladies" is the key word. I've found that older "ladies" are receptive to chivlary. The younger "Instagram, Tik Tok, etc." gals... not so much. They've been brainwashed.

Me. I'll continue to open doors for women... give up my seat (where applicable)... say, "Thank you, Maam" to those "of age"... as do my two grown sons, 33. I'm a 1960's gentleman. My sons, 1990's.

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Ok, I get what you are saying.
All ladies are women but not all women are ladies.

I am referring to the 35 year old woman I saw in the elevator. She came across as an entitled women to me. Not a "lady". She was all about taking and expecting. Not about giving.

BostonAg74 said:

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I've always held a door open for anyone behind me. It's not that hard. I'm an old man, still dealing with some deficits from a stroke several years ago, so I don't give up my seat on the subway all the time, but if it looks like someone is struggling more than I am, I'll offer my seat. It's not that big a deal to me. I just do it.

One thing that may have contributed to the decline in chivalry is the pervasive sense of entitlement in today's society. Offering a courtesy to another comes naturally to most people. When people start to demand that courtesy, it's just as natural to hold back.

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You are right, but there is a reason for everything.
Chivalry has declined because only men are held up to high standards, never women. Women no longer behave lady-like as they did in earlier decades. So when they behave like they do today, why should men be chivalrous anymore? Women today want it both ways, they want to behave badly but also want men to treat them "like a lady".

Holding the door open etc is just being a kind/polite person. Men and women do it. People do for me, I do it for others. That isn't the topic. The topic is the expecation of this woman that men (not women!) would give up their seat for her in public transport just because she is female. She even said she pregnant "but not showing" so men are expected to see a woman and give up their seat right away.

You paint in some bizarrely broad strokes.

I laughed my a## off. That was epic.

jetch17 said:

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They have big cans?

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These are the hard hitting questions we all need the answer to.

vmiaptetr said:

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jetch17 said:

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Well esp if they had bigger cans

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Pregnant cans.

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That's whole milk

Being nice and chivalrous to women will get you called ick more you treat them like **** the more theyll want you.

It's 2024, men can get pregnant too!

GoAgs11 said:

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Being nice and chivalrous to women will get you called ick more you treat them like **** the more theyll want you.

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Yup... Women don't respect simps. They will use them and get them to pay for stuff but that is all a simp will get.

Where are their manners for being that vocal in public?

I like that the OP references the opinions of two women he encountered one time without knowing anything else about their lives and then extrapolates those opinions / attitudes as if they represent ALL women.

Your poor egos.

What about opening a car door? My wife thinks it is stupid and I don't do it, nor do 99% of couples I see. However, we are friends with a couple where the guy does. Always a bit awkward when we go somewhere together and he opens the door for his wife and I don't lol

I otherwise do the normal courteous stuff as far as opening normal doors, maybe giving up a seat when appropriate, etc. But I'm with my wife on the car door thing. They are not ******ed and can open a car door.

DannyDuberstein said:

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What about opening a car door? My wife thinks it is stupid and I don't do it, nor do 99% of couples I see. However, we are friends with a couple where the guy does. Always a bit awkward when we go somewhere together and he opens the door for his wife and I don't lol

I otherwise do the normal courteous stuff as far as opening normal doors, maybe giving up a seat when appropriate, etc. But I'm with my wife on the car door thing. They are not ******ed and can open a car door.

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I do it every time. Whatever makes you, her, whoever happy

DannyDuberstein said:

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What about opening a car door? My wife thinks it is stupid and I don't do it, nor do 99% of couples I see. However, we are friends with a couple where the guy does. Always a bit awkward when we go somewhere together and he opens the door for his wife and I don't lol

I otherwise do the normal courteous stuff as far as opening normal doors, maybe giving up a seat when appropriate, etc. But I'm with my wife on the car door thing. They are not ******ed and can open a car door.

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I get where your wife is coming from. She is fully capable of opening the car door and getting out herself. There is no sense in waiting for your husband to come around the car and get your door. Going to the grocery store or out for burgers, she can get her own door as long as you both walk away from the car together.

But if y'all are out for a night on the town and she is dressed up, that's when it makes sense to open her door and offer her a gentlemanly hand to assist in exiting the vehicle. The gesture fits with the more formal occasion. Not to mention it is low key sexy. The bonus is you get to look down her cleavage.

If that door gets opened every time it feels less special and makes the action more of a chore rather than an gesture.

(All comments above are null and void if the lady is injured or if the truck is jacked up high enough to need a ladder to get in.)

Aren't you a bro who doesn't know what he's talking about?

DannyDuberstein said:

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What about opening a car door? My wife thinks it is stupid and I don't do it, nor do 99% of couples I see. However, we are friends with a couple where the guy does. Always a bit awkward when we go somewhere together and he opens the door for his wife and I don't lol

I otherwise do the normal courteous stuff as far as opening normal doors, maybe giving up a seat when appropriate, etc. But I'm with my wife on the car door thing. They are not ******ed and can open a car door.

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I had a friend whose wife complained he does not open her car door for her like he did when they were dating. His response was, "I still open the door, you just starting getting in on the other side ." Of course, most cars had bench seats in those days.

713nervy said:

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I like that the OP references the opinions of two women he encountered one time without knowing anything else about their lives and then extrapolates those opinions / attitudes as if they represent ALL women.

Your poor egos.

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Stop simping and trying to be a white knight. No one will give you any sex for doing that.

I related what I heard last week which sparked a question that I posed to this group.

taxpreparer said:

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DannyDuberstein said:

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What about opening a car door? My wife thinks it is stupid and I don't do it, nor do 99% of couples I see. However, we are friends with a couple where the guy does. Always a bit awkward when we go somewhere together and he opens the door for his wife and I don't lol

I otherwise do the normal courteous stuff as far as opening normal doors, maybe giving up a seat when appropriate, etc. But I'm with my wife on the car door thing. They are not ******ed and can open a car door.

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I had a friend whose wife complained he does not open her car door for her like he did when they were dating. His response was, "I still open the door, you just starting getting in on the other side ." Of course, most cars had bench seats in those days.

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I am sure she doesn't give him the beejs from when they were dating either.