UTExan said:

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Said after each violent or crazy event which injures members of the public:

"The safety of our customers is our highest priority."

Well, duh, obviously not or you wouldn't be on the news.

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YES

If it was your highest priority, you'd let us all work from home.

Your highest priority is making the shareholders money. Don't lie that it's anything else.

"Deeply saddened" is another one.

For when regular sad just ain't sad enough.

Buck Compton said:

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MouthBQ98 said:

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EBITDA. The C suite types get off on that acronym I swear.

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Isn't the goal of a business to make money and generate cash flow? EBITDA is hardly something to get mad about.

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The goal of business is to make a PROFIT, not make money. The people that sprinkle every sentence with EBITDA don't understand the important difference.

713nervy said:

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How did I forget "open the kimono"? God.

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We really need to get up under the skirt on this one

713nervy said:

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"Open the kimono" means to share the inner workings of a project; to be fully transparent; to not keep anything hidden.

Example: To gain client trust, we need to be forthcoming but let's not open the kimono and give away all of our secrets.

You might end up with a call from HR. It is not an appropriate thing to say.

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if it were me I'd just replace it with "drop our pants or lift our skirts."

Come on this is 'MERICA! No kimonos in 'MERICA!

birdman said:

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Buck Compton said:

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MouthBQ98 said:

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EBITDA. The C suite types get off on that acronym I swear.

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Isn't the goal of a business to make money and generate cash flow? EBITDA is hardly something to get mad about.

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The goal of business is to make a PROFIT, not make money. The people that sprinkle every sentence with EBITDA don't understand the important difference.

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EBITDA is just used because it's a quick and easy proxy for how you're generating cash.its not the end-all, be-all, but you can't have positive earnings without positive EBITDA.

And of course I meant "make money" on the bottom line and not revenue, but you knew that.

Another one that we've heard recently is a "team of teams." Why can't it just be a team?

Buck Compton said:

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birdman said:

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Buck Compton said:

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MouthBQ98 said:

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EBITDA. The C suite types get off on that acronym I swear.

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Isn't the goal of a business to make money and generate cash flow? EBITDA is hardly something to get mad about.

---

The goal of business is to make a PROFIT, not make money. The people that sprinkle every sentence with EBITDA don't understand the important difference.

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EBITDA is just used because it's a quick and easy proxy for how you're generating cash.its not the end-all, be-all, but you can't have positive earnings without positive EBITDA.

And of course I meant "make money" on the bottom line and not revenue, but you knew that.

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I think the point is that the acronym is thrown around in non-financial discussions far too often -- usually because the person thinks it makes them sound smart.

jokershady said:

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713nervy said:

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"Open the kimono" means to share the inner workings of a project; to be fully transparent; to not keep anything hidden.

Example: To gain client trust, we need to be forthcoming but let's not open the kimono and give away all of our secrets.

You might end up with a call from HR. It is not an appropriate thing to say.

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if it were me I'd just replace it with "drop our pants or lift our skirts."

Come on this is 'MERICA! No kimonos in 'MERICA!

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Those are definitely no no's. Unless you are on the golf course and fail to hit your drive past the women's tee box.

The one that makes me want to fight people is when a pointless meeting ends 5 minutes early and the host says, "I'll give you back 5 minutes of your time." You never owned my time and I'll leave whenever I want to.

I have a suite at the Four Season on stand-by

CowtownAg06 said:

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The one that makes me want to fight people is when a pointless meeting ends 5 minutes early and the host says, "I'll give you back 5 minutes of your time." You never owned my time and I'll leave whenever I want to.

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Little did they know, I was multitasking and getting actual work done while they were blabbering on in their meeting.

"Rolled out "

No you didn't roll anything out. You sent an attachment in an email.

few more phrases that really grind my gears"Synergy." It's supposed to mean working together to make things better, but it often just leads to more meetings and confusion."Leverage." Basically just a fancy way of saying "use what we have" or "hope this works.""Bandwidth." Not talking about internet speedjust a way to say "I'm too busy" or "we need more help.""Deep dive." Usually just means we're going to overanalyze something until we've beaten it into the ground."Circle back." Translation: we'll have another meeting about this and probably won't get anywhere."Low-hanging fruit." The so-called easy stuff, but it often just means settling for the least creative solutions

EVERY effing thing which has even a tangential connection to AI is now called "Copilot".
Last year I was at a company and launched its first AI feature. My manager insisted that it be called "Copilot". I didn't like it but didn't want to rain on his parade as he was a my way or highway type. Now everything is called "Copilot".

"Vitality index" - success of new product introductions
"Green shoots" - specific areas of growth
"Add some color" - provide additional detail

I just heard "the juice isn't worth the squeeze" twice today in two different meetings.

In an earlier company people loved to say "Let's F@**king Go!" at the end of every mass internal email. Why? Just because one of the C levels loved to say it so everyone else said it to suck up.

infinity ag said:

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I just heard "the juice isn't worth the squeeze" twice today in two different meetings.

In an earlier company people loved to say "Let's F@**king Go!" at the end of every mass internal email. Why? Just because one of the C levels loved to say it so everyone else said it to suck up.

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The LFG people are exhausting. Hype men playing CEO running the company into the ground. "We are thought leaders, game changing tech." With a dozen weekly posts on the echo chamber of dullards that is LinkedIn; a bunch of corporate wannabes who don't actually do anything but love to use word salad like a nominee and show off with posts about "intrinsic synergy between two functional core elements striving towards value minded green leadership."

"Game changer"
"Skrew the pooch"
"Incubate front-end gradients"
"Architect revolutionary interfaces"
"Facilitate productive interventions"
"Synergize adaptive schemas"
"Hybridize open-source models"

If anyone has worked for a company that has tried to implement LEAN methodology and they went way overboard with the LEAN buzzwords, then you will recognize some of these: process improvement, process map, map it out, flow chart, standardized process, metrics, Gemba, Kaizan, continuous improvement, see the work.

I remember I used to just sit through meetings and would hear the leaders just spout out a bunch of LEAN buzzwords and they would often use them incorrectly lol. It was like a contest to see who could use the most LEAN terms when speaking. And this was for a corporate office function, not in a plant or warehouse.

"We are in the lookout for rock star developers!"

Not limited to corporate is "unpack."

"Share Best Practices"
"We only want to go to the woodshed once"
"Long term solution"
"Permission to win"
"30,000 Foot View"

Jack Klompus said:

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Another one that we've heard recently is a "team of teams." Why can't it just be a team?

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So when the project fails it's easier to carve out and blame an individual team.

Bio break, wtf

VP at Pierce and Pierce said:

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infinity ag said:

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I just heard "the juice isn't worth the squeeze" twice today in two different meetings.

In an earlier company people loved to say "Let's F@**king Go!" at the end of every mass internal email. Why? Just because one of the C levels loved to say it so everyone else said it to suck up.

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The LFG people are exhausting. Hype men playing CEO running the company into the ground. "We are thought leaders, game changing tech." With a dozen weekly posts on the echo chamber of dullards that is LinkedIn; a bunch of corporate wannabes who don't actually do anything but love to use word salad like a nominee and show off with posts about "intrinsic synergy between two functional core elements striving towards value minded green leadership."

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perfect description of Linkedin

This isn't rocket surgery.

Yo, OP, what's up with the username change?

You like it? It was time for a reboot.

Haha, sure. I was just trying to figure out if it's a reference to Jimmy Buffett, the Miami Dolphins, or some weird phrase used on a chicken ranch.

Definitely a Jimmy Buffett reference. For sure. I've been a Parrothead since I was 16, dating back to mid 80s. Long before I studied POSC.

Went to 20 shows. And I love the water. I'm older now and I miss the guy!

Funky Winkerbean said:

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This isn't rocket surgery.

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Surgery?

I thought they just gave them boosters.

IIIHorn said:

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Funky Winkerbean said:

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This isn't rocket surgery.

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Surgery?

I thought they just gave them boosters.

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Just keep it in your orbit.

Buck Compton said:

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birdman said:

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Buck Compton said:

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MouthBQ98 said:

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EBITDA. The C suite types get off on that acronym I swear.

---

Isn't the goal of a business to make money and generate cash flow? EBITDA is hardly something to get mad about.

---

The goal of business is to make a PROFIT, not make money. The people that sprinkle every sentence with EBITDA don't understand the important difference.

---

EBITDA is just used because it's a quick and easy proxy for how you're generating cash.its not the end-all, be-all, but you can't have positive earnings without positive EBITDA.

And of course I meant "make money" on the bottom line and not revenue, but you knew that.

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generally put, and EBITDA positive company is workable/salvageable. An EBITDA negative company is on its way to the grave absent changes.

Funky Winkerbean said:

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IIIHorn said:

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Funky Winkerbean said:

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This isn't rocket surgery.

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Surgery?

I thought they just gave them boosters.

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Just keep it in your orbit.

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Very well done!