Synergy is also often used in an M&A context. "We created $5,000,000 in synergy with this merger" means "We're laying off $5,000,000 of staff."The Chicken Ranch said:
"Synergy". Different from Buy In. Synergy is a top down phrase that is designed to force you to accept corporate and management inabilities and ineptness, and parrot false accolades. The CEO or VP comes in at TCR's next meeting for the project he is quarterbacking and says, "I'm Wowed with the synergy that this project has created with our corporate values."
We've had the unnecessarily meeting thread, how about annoying corporate jargon?
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Last: 4 mo ago by Ghost of Bisbee
MouthBQ98 said:
EBITDA. The C suite types get off on that acronym I swear.
I agree with the distaste for heavy dependence on acronyms.
But I support the use of EBITDA because the alternative is earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation and amortization which is a lot more to say.
713nervy said:
"Open the kimono" means to share the inner workings of a project; to be fully transparent; to not keep anything hidden.
Example: To gain client trust, we need to be forthcoming but let's not open the kimono and give away all of our secrets.
You might end up with a call from HR. It is not an appropriate thing to say.
I am HR. And I think the right way to say this is let's not "pop the hood" and give away all of our secrets.
"Blocking & Tackling" is one that has been coming up in our place. It means to focus on the basics of the business. What's sad is that we are a global company now, and our international folks have no idea what blocking and tackling means since they don't play/understand American football.
Run it up the flagpole and see who salutes it (military)
Uncork the bottle of talent we have here
It's not a problem we have to solve right now (said before massive layoffs)
Let's grease the wheels before we submit this for review
(Imperfect product OR bribing the review team)
Uncork the bottle of talent we have here
It's not a problem we have to solve right now (said before massive layoffs)
Let's grease the wheels before we submit this for review
(Imperfect product OR bribing the review team)
“If you’re going to have crime it should at least be organized crime”
-Havelock Vetinari
-Havelock Vetinari
713nervy said:lotsofhp said:
Can you use "boil the ocean" in a sentence for me?
Hold on, Chad. Let's break it down into phases so you don't become overwhelmed by attempting to boil the ocean.
I am so stealing this one.
"Pop the hood" is a much better alternative!
Note:
"Rattle their cages" is not an appropriate bureaucratic response when working for a correctional facility.
"Rattle their cages" is not an appropriate bureaucratic response when working for a correctional facility.
“If you’re going to have crime it should at least be organized crime”
-Havelock Vetinari
-Havelock Vetinari
I 100% agree, and some may not even know what it stands for when they say it.MouthBQ98 said:
EBITDA. The C suite types get off on that acronym I swear.
Isn't the goal of a business to make money and generate cash flow? EBITDA is hardly something to get mad about.MouthBQ98 said:
EBITDA. The C suite types get off on that acronym I swear.
"Reaching out." No, you are not reaching out to me, you are bothering me.
"Best" when signing off in an email. It seems incomplete and snarky.
"Transparent."
"Best" when signing off in an email. It seems incomplete and snarky.
"Transparent."
Take him to the train station.
It's more how very frequently they say it juxtaposed against how very awkward and clunky of an acronym it is and how small the percentage of their audiences understands it's meaning.
It's not a problem until it's a problem; that's my favorite line
Silo.
Work/life balance.
Work/life balance.
Ahhh….work/life balance. I love how we pride ourselves on that!
yeah asking someone to (or not to) open the Kimono sounds like a sure way to meet with HR.The Chicken Ranch said:713nervy said:
"Open the kimono" means to share the inner workings of a project; to be fully transparent; to not keep anything hidden.
Example: To gain client trust, we need to be forthcoming but let's not open the kimono and give away all of our secrets.
You might end up with a call from HR. It is not an appropriate thing to say.
I am HR. And I think the right way to say this is let's not "pop the hood" and give away all of our secrets.
"We got to figure out a way to add value"
River banks (my finance team LOVES this)
Bandwidth
Circle back
Touch base
Front run
Price advantaged (Cant say cheap or expensive)
Bandwidth
Circle back
Touch base
Front run
Price advantaged (Cant say cheap or expensive)
What is River Banks?
Basically super conservative case vs high case in economics. For some reason they love that saying.. establishing the river banks, or gotta keep this in the river banks, aka realistic but know the worst case (often unrealistic) and the most amazing case (also unrealistic).
"We looking for someone that can hit the ground running"
Translation: We months behind and need someone willing to forgo their personal life until they eventually burn out or are laid off.
Translation: We months behind and need someone willing to forgo their personal life until they eventually burn out or are laid off.
A new one today:
Hand crafted stories for you from the Washington Post.
Hand crafted stories for you from the Washington Post.
“If you’re going to have crime it should at least be organized crime”
-Havelock Vetinari
-Havelock Vetinari
"Moving Jill, Jane, and John to BBC."
Can have different meanings depending on your industry.
Can have different meanings depending on your industry.
"rat-****ed"
"The meeting ran long and by the time we got out, the support staff had already rat-****ed the deli tray."
"The meeting ran long and by the time we got out, the support staff had already rat-****ed the deli tray."
Aside from BSC Moms (thanks, Tanya) and money saving ideas, this could be one of my favorite Texags threads.
“If you’re going to have crime it should at least be organized crime”
-Havelock Vetinari
-Havelock Vetinari
haha, yeah work/life balance, forgot that one.DamnGood86 said:
Silo.
Work/life balance.
And that reminds me of "quality of life." We had a guy on City Council who absolutely loved using that to justify anything and everything. Finally got tired of it, said it was just his excuse for spending money, unoriginal, and meant nothing. I told him he sounds like a moron every time he says it, and he should stop using it, lol.
"Let's talk about this off-line."
ya'll are the people these cheesy lines were made for.
"put a pin in this" - shut the **** up we are talking in circles/quit *****ing
"Take Offline" - you ****ed up and I am going to be nice and not rip you in public
"Circle Back" - You didn't do what I ****ing told you to and now we have to talk about it again
"touch base" - hey ****er you aren't going your job
"bandwidth" - Stop *****ing about being "so busy", we are all busy
"Silo" - The company is bigger than you **** stick
"Reaching Out" - because if you were cool I would call and say "whats up I need some help with this"
These all come from people being tighter than a bulls ass sewed up with bailing wire.
"put a pin in this" - shut the **** up we are talking in circles/quit *****ing
"Take Offline" - you ****ed up and I am going to be nice and not rip you in public
"Circle Back" - You didn't do what I ****ing told you to and now we have to talk about it again
"touch base" - hey ****er you aren't going your job
"bandwidth" - Stop *****ing about being "so busy", we are all busy
"Silo" - The company is bigger than you **** stick
"Reaching Out" - because if you were cool I would call and say "whats up I need some help with this"
These all come from people being tighter than a bulls ass sewed up with bailing wire.
"Kudos"
"Stay in your lane"
“If you’re going to have crime it should at least be organized crime”
-Havelock Vetinari
-Havelock Vetinari
Using the word "piece."
"...the marketing piece of this strategy involves..."
"...the marketing piece of this strategy involves..."
infinity ag said:
Sleazy CEO: We are all part of the ABC Corp FAMILY
And year end, the turd lays off 30% of the company citing high expenses. Cuts bonus and raise to employees for the year. Then gives himself a 50% bonus for "steering the ship" in the right direction.
Used to work for a large Catholic-affiliated healthcare company. It's the same thing there except they do it all in the name of Jesus.
If only we could drill down into the churn rate and focus on core competencies to maximize a beneficial customer experience.
(We better figure why our employees are quitting and get back to basics or we will lose our a**)
(We better figure why our employees are quitting and get back to basics or we will lose our a**)
“If you’re going to have crime it should at least be organized crime”
-Havelock Vetinari
-Havelock Vetinari
713nervy said:
"Open the kimono" means to share the inner workings of a project; to be fully transparent; to not keep anything hidden.
Sounds kinky
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