How to marry into a crime family?

4,315 Views | 38 Replies | Last: 1 yr ago by BurnetAggie99
713nervy
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How do you think someone can get into a crime family? I don't really want to do the crime, just marry into it. Any pointers?
Tanya 93
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If The Sopranos are correct, strip clubs
Hogties
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Move to Jersey. 50/50 shot if you find a love connection.
Wicked Good Ag
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Hogties said:

Move to Jersey. 50/50 trying to find a love connection you get shot
FIFY
maroon barchetta
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Isn't your last name Italian?
Don't you sometimes not have a job and just go globe trotting or continental United States trotting for however long you wish?

I think we all assumed you were already in a crime family.
superunknown
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Subscribed
Win At Life
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Just go to Delaware and knock on any door of a residence registered to a Biden.
nai06
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713nervy said:

How do you think someone can get into a crime family? I don't really want to do the crime, just marry into it. Any pointers?


I could try and set you up with some of my inlaws. How do you feel about moving to Connecticut?
Slicer97
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Show up at Hunter Biden's doorstep with 3 tons of coke.
713nervy
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I LOVE New England!
713nervy
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maroon barchetta said:

Isn't your last name Italian?
Don't you sometimes not have a job and just go globe trotting or continental United States trotting for however long you wish?

I think we all assumed you were already in a crime family.

Let's just say that running back the mileage before selling a car and having a cable card that gets you all of the cable channels for free doesn't exactly pay the big bucks. I'm seeking more excitement.

I'd like to be married to the man who stands on the back of a truck and hands out frozen hams on Christmas Eve.
Claude!
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Carefully.
713nervy
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I think we'd have to name our son Romeo.
nai06
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713nervy said:

maroon barchetta said:

Isn't your last name Italian?
Don't you sometimes not have a job and just go globe trotting or continental United States trotting for however long you wish?

I think we all assumed you were already in a crime family.

Let's just say that running back the mileage before selling a car and having a cable card that gets you all of the cable channels for free doesn't exactly pay the big bucks. I'm seeking more excitement.

I'd like to be married to the man who stands on the back of a truck and hands out frozen hams on Christmas Eve.
My wife's family moved to Texas to get away from organized crime. When she was younger she was at her uncle's house around Christmas when a bunch of guys in FBI jackets showed up to the house. They ordered everyone outside and started searching the house and tearing down drywall. They ended up finding a bunch of cash hidden inside the walls. Her uncle went away for awhile but apparently never talked.
THATS MY PURSE
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https://inmatemingle.com/

Start small and then move your way up the family.
Claude!
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713nervy said:

I think we'd have to name our son Romeo.


Wherefor is he?
B-1 83
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  • Move to Roma
  • Marry a brown girl from the family in the huge, nice house surrounded by barrio and junky houses
  • $profit$
Being in TexAgs jail changes a man……..no, not really
Swarely
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I jaywalked all over San Antonio this past weekend.

I prefer a spring wedding. Absolutely opposed to having one during college football season.
Kool
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713nervy said:

How do you think someone can get into a crime family? I don't really want to do the crime, just marry into it. Any pointers?
Is it the $$$, the adventure, or both you're seeking?
Alternatively, do you just look good in black and look forward to dressing up for a funeral when your husband gets rubbed out?
Edit: Husband or wife. That was horribly presumptive on my part. Please forgive me.

A friend of mine dated a girl whose Dad was the Italian Consulate years ago. We double dated when he was in town and dinner was quite a show. The chef came out of the kitchen to talk to us, and ask us what our tastes were. No menus. Food and drinks flowed. No bill. Lots of hugs and kisses to the daughter. Quite civilized, all in all.
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Tecolote
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How do you feel about Latin American crime families? Not Mexican cartels but further south. Real nice and polished folks. You won't get your hands dirty. But if your Eyetalian, is Latin too far of a stretch?
EclipseAg
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Just remember ... never ask about the business.
woodyhayes
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I can point you in the direction of Youngstown, Ohio. "Family" there owns malls, shopping centers, race tracks all over the U.S. Owned an nfl team years ago too. Brother says cars still blow up there fairly regularly.
maroon barchetta
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Closest I knowingly got to a crime family:

Gal I had dated relocated to Kansas City for school. She invited me up for a visit and I went.

While there, we went out on the town with a couple of her classmates.

We hit multiple bars and clubs. Everywhere we went, the doorman (if there was one) and the bartenders or wait staff called one of her classmates by name and asked how we were doing and brought us whatever we asked for. I offered to pay at one of the clubs and my ex said "thanks but that won't be necessary tonight".

Our tab was covered by the establishment everywhere we went. I didn't know why at the time.

Eventually we went to a hole in the wall place. Small and dimly lighted. Much older crowd. They served food and had a guy on a small stage that sang Sinatra and other crooner music.

At some point, an older well-dressed gentleman at the other end of the bar came down to talk to my ex's friend and eventually they embraced and he went back to his seat at the bar.

I asked my ex when the evening ended how all of this came to pass. How we went all over town and never paid a dime anywhere.

Her friend's dad owned a lot of strip clubs and some other businesses and was involved with casinos in some way. People did favors for him.

Looking him up later on the Google machine, he's got federal racketeering and money laundering convictions or something of that sort.

He is also banned from all casinos in Vegas. I thought a Vegas blacklist was just for the movies, but it's real.
Furlock Bones
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an ex of mine was from the NE. a close family member married a Genovese. He was 100% on the straight and narrow. the family member passed away, and we went up for the wake and funeral.

the wake was wild people watching. the other side of the family and friends showed up. they literally looked exactly like the Sopranos. most of them were in track suits with gold rings and chains. a couple of them were dressed in italian suits.

that's the closest i've been to the mob.
vmiaptetr
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I have literally told my kids that when my wife and I got married, it joined together two of the biggest crime family's in Texas, and ended decades of violence.
HBCanine08
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Does MS-13 count?
HBCanine08
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This thread now has me researching all sorts of ***t. Currently reading up on the Castellammarese War
Tecolote
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HBCanine08 said:

Does MS-13 count?
Depends on if she's up to the initiation
THE_CHOSEN_ONE
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I have a cousin that cooks meth for a biker gang, I'll hook y'all up
BBRex
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Tecolote said:

How do you feel about Latin American crime families? Not Mexican cartels but further south. Real nice and polished folks. You won't get your hands dirty. But if your Eyetalian, is Latin too far of a stretch?
I thought those were mostly reserved for a particular type of German crime family. The kind that relocated to Argentina or Brazil in the early 1940s.
Athanasius
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713nervy said:

How do you think someone can get into a crime family? I don't really want to do the crime, just marry into it. Any pointers?
You must be compromise-able in some way.

Then it is a matter of meeting the mate, acting dumb, and realizing you're most likely going to sin and support sin.
CW Griswold
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Would you settle for goomar?
dabo man
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If it is at all like the Sopranos, you need be a cousin of someone who is already made. Sorry if bad news.
IIIHorn
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Marry a guy whose last name is Crime.

Duh.

Caesar4
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YouTube videos about abandoned crime family homes:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=abandoned+house+crime+family
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