I stated this in another thread but I rarely do dinner dates on a first date. It's too much of an investment financially and time-wise. And there's a percentage of women that just want a free meal which is a turn off for me.

I usually like meeting at a bar/brewery/tasting room and having a drink to get the small talk out of the way.

A good second date would be dinner and ice cream or something like that.

Third date would be something fun like axe throwing, bowling, or mini-golf, maybe an arcade….where you can be slightly competitive, laugh at one another and yourself, and keep things light and fun with very little effort.

I usually do dinner, and then propose an additional activity if things seem to be clicking between us

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And there's a percentage of women that just want a free meal which is a turn off for me.

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Men always say this. My question is, where are y'all finding these women who are willing to spend that much time with someone they otherwise wouldn't, just to get a free meal? I've not once known a woman to admit to doing that.

Personally, even in my early 20s, I was capable of buying all my own meals (within my means) and I'd have gouged my own eyes out before I would have sat through an awkward meal with a stranger just to eat somewhere that I couldn't afford on my own. These days there isn't a restaurant I would hesitate to take myself to if I just wanted to eat there. No date required.

OP, something that could be short, like meeting for coffee or a glass of wine is ideal. If it's going well, you can extend it. If not, everyone has an easy out. Activities are awesome, but I like to save those with longer time commitments for second or third dates, once I already know that I've hit it off with someone.

Geralt of Rivia said:

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I usually do dinner, and then propose an additional activity if things seem to be clicking between us

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Straight to the in and out. We can hit the DQ afterward if things click before.

maroon barchetta said:

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The Dirty Sock said:

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Straight to the in and out. We can hit the DQ afterward if things click before.

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In and Out Burger?

Why would you go to DQ if you already went there?

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Animal style. Gnome sayin?

First date: coffee for about an hour in a coffee shop I don't use as my regular shop.

Thats the only acceptable answer. Use that as a way to filter through the trash to find something meaningful.

If she has big cans, then a second date happens.

aglaohfour said:

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And there's a percentage of women that just want a free meal which is a turn off for me.

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I've not once known a woman to admit to doing that.

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Here is your key word.

But guys can tell. When you show up and are making an effort and she is on her phone, doesn't engage, and orders the most expensive thing on the menu it's pretty obvious what's going on.

EDIT* See the anecdote below.

aglaohfour said:

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Quote:

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And there's a percentage of women that just want a free meal which is a turn off for me.

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Men always say this. My question is, where are y'all finding these women who are willing to spend that much time with someone they otherwise wouldn't, just to get a free meal? I've not once known a woman to admit to doing that.

Personally, even in my early 20s, I was capable of buying all my own meals (within my means) and I'd have gouged my own eyes out before I would have sat through an awkward meal with a stranger just to eat somewhere that I couldn't afford on my own. These days there isn't a restaurant I would hesitate to take myself to if I just wanted to eat there. No date required.

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It's 2022.
All women are capable of making their own income, providing for their own needs and material wants, and purchasing their own meals. That doesn't mean they all do it. Some women are old fashioned and expect men to pay for everything. I didn't generalize. I said a percentage of women have this attitude. I would agree that it probably diminishes with age.

I know there are women that approach a date with this attitude because I listen and have heard them say, "at least I'll get a meal out of it" or something to that effect - in the office, friends of friends, female acquaintances, etc.. And I remember a specific woman I was talking to who flat out said I had to take her to restaurant A or restaurant B AND pay for her uber to/from said restaurant or she wouldn't go out with me. Spoiler alert! I never took her anywhere.

Most everyone has a dating history. Men have just as much cynicism in dating as women do and they didn't arrive there out of the blue on unsubstantiated reasons.

My last two first dates were lunch dates. Both of those relationships ended with her cheating on me.

Avoid lunch dates at all cost.

There are really only three viable options for a first date:
1. Demolition derby
2. Couple's police ride-along
3. Panning for gold

Claude! said:

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There are really only three viable options for a first date:
1. Demolition derby
2. Couple's police ride-along
3. Panning for gold

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All three of those would be really fun

LupinusTexensis said:

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Claude! said:

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There are really only three viable options for a first date:
1. Demolition derby
2. Couple's police ride-along
3. Panning for gold

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All three of those would be really fun

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Another successful TexAgs hookup!

Claude! said:

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There are really only three viable options for a first date:
1. Demolition derby
2. Couple's police ride-along
3. Panning for gold

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I read the post without paying attention to the poster, but immediately knew who it was! Bravo, Good Sir!



And the answer is Chili's…….but use a credit card because you might not get all your change back.

I still don't buy that there are functioning adult women who go into a date with the mindset, "This guy sucks, but I want a free meal." I think it's more likely that they discovered that the guy sucked during the course of the meal, and consoled themselves with the fact that they at least got a free meal out of it.

aglaohfour said:

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I still don't buy that there are functioning adult women who go into a date with the mindset, "This guy sucks, but I want a free meal." I think it's more likely that they discovered that the guy sucked during the course of the meal, and consoled themselves with the fact that they at least got a free meal out of it.

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You must not know my older half-sister

jwoodmd said:

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aglaohfour said:

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I still don't buy that there are functioning adult women who go into a date with the mindset, "This guy sucks, but I want a free meal." I think it's more likely that they discovered that the guy sucked during the course of the meal, and consoled themselves with the fact that they at least got a free meal out of it.

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You must not know my older half-sister

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Or my younger step-sister.

Or some of my daughter's single friends.

It definitely happens.