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Dear Annie: One of my husband's friends recently became engaged, and I am already dreading the bachelor party, which will no doubt include a strip club. I have been staying awake at night, knowing my husband, "Ben," will be attending. It bothers me that Ben will be seeing live, naked women. I think since he is married, he doesn't need to go to a strip club. I've told Ben how I feel, but he doesn't seem to care. I've told him if he goes, I won't be able to look at him or be physical with him for a while because I will be so disgusted. He knows I mean it, too, because it happened once before.

I am seriously considering going to a bar that night, all dressed up, hoping to meet a man. I don't intend to cheat on my husband, but I want him to go through the same anguish I will be going through. I know this is petty, but what's a wife to do? -- Disgusted in California

Dear Disgusted: A wife needs to decide if she trusts her husband or not. One night spent looking at naked women is not going to hurt a healthy marriage. We understand why you find it objectionable, but your response determines the damage level. Picking up strange men in retaliation is destructive and certainly isn't going to help. You can turn this into a major battle or forget about it. It's up to you.

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I don't mind my wife going to a place where multiple guys are waving their wangs in her face.

Good God. Tell me that is not from a real person.

a) what a weirdo [/billymadison]

b) "It bothers me that Ben will be seeing live, naked women." It must, when it's obvious she is a cold, dead woman.

Best if he doesn't go. He's married.

She definitely shouldn't go out trolling. What a b****.

Because we:

1) Don't really know for sure what goes on there and so we create a worst case scenario in our minds.

2) Think that the reason men go there is because we aren't enough for them, there must be something wrong or something missing in us.

3) Don't feel that we can ever measure up to the physical ideal set forth by the strippers.

IMO

(The "we" should probably be "I"

BTW: the person in the letter is going to ruin her marriage for no good reason. Picking up a man in a bar is VERY different from going to a strip club.

[This message has been edited by twila (edited 3/23/2004 11:46a).]

been there, done that:
http://texags.com/main/forum.reply.asp?forum_id=12&topic_id=222064

men like seeing naked chicks.

men don't want their friends to see THEIR chick naked.

the only way guys can go out together and see naked chicks? strip clubs.

there's always the possibility of an orgy, but men generally don't wanna see one another naked or risk touching each other during said nakedness.

Twila is going get kicked out of the trashy tat club for that post.

i've been to many stip clubs with my guy friends, ladies. it ain't pretty. even the most devoted of men become animals the minute they see the naked ladies.

I think the fear of men wanting to leave their woman for a stripper is a bit exaggerated...the baggage that a stripper brings to the table has been discussed before here.

TCLTC gets it - with the exception of #4. I've never seen, or heard of, an "after tit bar orgy". I have little doubt that some, shall we say "extra jobs" are taken on by some of the workers, but that's not why I go. It's a "Y chromosome thing".

I know someone who wouldn't let her boyfriend go to Hooters when we went to a baseball game in Houston. I would have kicked her to the curb in a second...

I don't think the trashy tat club will abandon me, don't underestimate the sense of loyalty we have.

Besides, at least I'm honest about it. Admitting I feel that way is the first step to getting the hell over it...

i know that the dudes don't want to bring the strippers home to mama, but don't kid yourselves girls. i've seen it every single time i've been. more than just lap dances go on, and that is out in the open bar area. lord knows what happens in the private rooms. (i actually know the answer to that too. while i have not been in there, many of my friends have and they have given me pretty graphic accounts)

i mean orgy in the sense of "swinger" types, not with the strip club employees.

like you and your friend want to see some nkaed chicks. you both have gf's. pretty low chance they're gonna just hang out and strip for both of you without it being a swinger situation (which for most people would be difficult in the first place), but most guys don't want their friends seeing their chicks naked, nor do they want to be around one another naked in a state of arousal.

don't worry twila. while i have seen some hot strippers, most of them have either a busted grill or some serious hail damage.

Twila,

Why not go to find out for yourself? There have been other members of the trashy tat clique that have offered to go, I think...

Believe it or not, I've seen women there with their guys every time I've been to an upscale strip club (not that it's THAT many times...)

Thank you, ninja. I think if it's actually happening, it's not really paranoia so much as awareness...

Slinkyjim, I'm already dancing around an eating disorder, thank you. I don't need to WATCH my boyfriend cheat on me, I'm not sure that's going to fix my self esteem...

[This message has been edited by twila (edited 3/23/2004 11:59a).]

I agree with that. I talked my girlfriend into going and we had a pretty good time there together (even bought her a lap dance). The times I go without her, its no big deal. I always tell her I am going and dont try and hide anything from her.

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even the most devoted of men become animals the minute they see the naked ladies

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define "become animals"?

they obviously aren't the most devoted of men if they decide to partake.
i'd say it's a damn good test of trust.

[This message has been edited by twila (edited 3/23/2004 12:17p).]

Keep going, twila. You've almost posted enough info that with 3 beers and a little sympathy you'd be the easiest lay in texags history.

Strip clubs used to bug me until I went to one a few weeks ago. They are so not a big deal. I was not impressed at all.

WTF???? Where did that come from?

low self-esteem

Swinging isn't really all that bad.

I think twila's about to e-kick your ass

What a jerk. Not worth my time, Skinky...

I would have to agree with ninja...it all depends on the guy, but if they want to take it to another level it is not every difficult to find dancers that will. Ladies, don't think this is just casual touching.

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there's always the possibility of an orgy

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sounds like TCLTC knows what shes talking about

Simple answer: because they are fat, unatractive, asexual wastes that eat bon bons and watch oprah.

Somebody's got deep seeded Daddy issues!

My boyfriend went to a strip club last week with friends, but he told me before he went. If he's honest with me about it, then it makes me feel a lot better than if he's trying to hide something because then it's almost like he's doing something to betray me. I trust him enough to know that nothing too wrong will happen. Go - have fun!

it's "deep seated", not "seeded", you moron

no one has daddy issues, you just like calling people names. your opinion is of no merit whatsoever.