DrHeadShrink said:

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she dumped me because I didn't use the Oxford comma.

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You deserved it! Sicko!

Smithjg said:

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My exwife called the night our divorce was final and wanted me to come over and wanted me to stay the night. I did, because the sex was always great, esp. the beej's.

She moved to Corpus, job transfer and she was lonely, not knowing anyone there, so he kept inviting me to stay when I was off. I worked shift and was off 14/28 days, so I did for a while.....

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He kept inviting you - was your ex gf a she/he?

Och26-58-87 said:

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Smithjg said:

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My exwife called the night our divorce was final and wanted me to come over and wanted me to stay the night. I did, because the sex was always great, esp. the beej's.

She moved to Corpus, job transfer and she was lonely, not knowing anyone there, so he kept inviting me to stay when I was off. I worked shift and was off 14/28 days, so I did for a while.....

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He kept inviting you - was your ex gf a she/he?

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I read that and was wondering as well.

Mr Global Warming said:

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A long-time girlfriend ex had her friend bring her to my place at the end of a bachelorette party night. There were crazy things done to me.

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Go on....

They had sex.

Before you read this: Please don't judge me... I'm just sharing my story because OP asked.

I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but I guess I'll just write it now and regret it tomorrow.

First of all, just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's ****ed up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my Mom's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so ****ing beautiful that I watched it twice. (probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy **** went down and I had to leave home. (My mom's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to **** her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.

Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.

My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was ****ed up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever ****ing seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.

But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

Brian Earl Spilner said:

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Before you read this: Please don't judge me... I'm just sharing my story because OP asked.

I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but I guess I'll just write it now and regret it tomorrow.

First of all, just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's ****ed up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my Mom's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so ****ing beautiful that I watched it twice. (probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy **** went down and I had to leave home. (My mom's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to **** her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.

Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of an awesome time.

My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was ****ed up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever ****ing seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.

But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

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MonkeyKnifeFighter said:

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IrishTxAggie said:

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They can test off of urine now. No need to have the swab up the peehole

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Hrmf. OK my recommendation now includes transporting the dude back in time however long it takes to get the dipstick treatment.

Good to know though, thanks!

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Thanks to one of my crazy exes, I can tell you that the dipstick treatment was used as recently as 2009. And the false alarm prank disease that she chose was gonorrhea.

A different crazy ex trashed me on a website that warns other chicks not to date certain people. Posted my picture, explained that I dumped her because she was diagnosed with cancer and I didn't want to deal with it (she didn't have cancer), and that I mistreated her daughter (I didn't know she had a daughter and still don't know).

A few months later I was in a wedding, and the bride and groom posted pictures of the wedding party on their website. When I tried to hook up with one of the bridesmaids, she said she recognized me from my photo - not from the wedding website, but from the crazy ex website. I called the ex the next day, and she got a good laugh before deleting my info.

Another crazy ex showed up at my apartment as I was bringing a date home. She banged on the door and yelled at us inside, demanding that I give her back all her stuff (she didn't leave anything at my apartment). When we wouldn't let her in, she called the cops. When they arrived, she told them that it was our apartment, that she was on the lease with me, and that I had locked her out because she caught me cheating on her with the girl inside. I guess that's one way to make me answer the door. The new chick left while I was being questioned by police. I received a call from a random business a few weeks later because she had put me down as a reference on her resume.

Why are women crazy?

Damn.

At least rule 1 on the sister.

PrestigeWorldwideAg12 said:

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Went to high school with this chick but we didn't "date" until freshmen year... Well she turned out to be bad - **** crazy. Worked a summer job away and she broke it off while I was gone which was fine but when I came back she started trying to get back with me while my interest was on others. This happened for a while and this is also when I learned I took her virginity... One night after partying in Huntsville on a Tuesday at Nastys I go home with this chick and we are on her couch and we sleep there. This bad - **** crazy ex fling of mine comes out of one of the bedrooms and turns out to be this chick who I had never met roommate. Oh to have gotten her reaction on video. So she gets engaged senior year to some poor fella and I get engaged almost a year after school. She sent me a clip from their wedding night saying it could have and should have been me.... Yea, no thanks.

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You do know BSC stands for BAT **** crazy, right?

CJS4715 said:

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Damn.

At least rule 1 on the sister.

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She sounds like princess!

CJS4715 said:

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Damn.

At least rule 1 on the sister.

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I thought you grew up with your Dad's family

Brian Earl Spilner said:

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I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

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Way to kill a solid boner.