Craziest thing an ex has ever done to you post breakup?

30,789 Views | 183 Replies | Last: 6 yr ago by Bird Poo
The Wonderer
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Mr.NiceGuy said:

A girl I dated 15 years ago messaged me on Facebook over the holidays letting me know she was coming to town, and she asked if I wanted to meet up for a drink. She's divorced with a kid. Long story short, by the end of drinks she said she wanted to have another child one day, and she made it clear she wanted it to be mine.


When's the due date?
K Bo
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keyed both vehicles I owned at the time, at the same time
80s Guy
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So back in HS, had a girlfriend that was semi-sane. After a while though, it became clear that I was going to be moving on after HS and she was staying in the small town and do the whole wife/life thing. We broke up during the fall of senior year and it was about as clean as a break up in HS can be. Right before graduation, we had a "one more for old times sake" night. One year later to the weekend, I was asked to present a scholarship at graduation. As I walk into the auditorium, I see her standing in the back holding a baby. She walks up to me and hands me the baby without saying a word. I am freaking out since I was sure we had used protection and I am rapidly trying to figure out if the kid is mine. After what seemed to be 10 minutes, she finally says "He isn't yours. I was already pregnant when we did it. Oh, and I was engaged then too, but my husband doesn't know we did it." She took the kid and walked away. Years later, my mom sends me a clipping from the local paper. Guess who is on the police blotter for writing hot checks and stealing a car? And now she is married to a guy she baby sat when she was in HS.
The Collective
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Quote:

She walks up to me and hands me the baby without saying a word. I am freaking out since I was sure we had used protection and I am rapidly trying to figure out if the kid is mine.

chjoak
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80s Guy said:

So back in HS, had a girlfriend that was semi-sane. After a while though, it became clear that I was going to be moving on after HS and she was staying in the small town and do the whole wife/life thing. We broke up during the fall of senior year and it was about as clean as a break up in HS can be. Right before graduation, we had a "one more for old times sake" night. One year later to the weekend, I was asked to present a scholarship at graduation. As I walk into the auditorium, I see her standing in the back holding a baby. She walks up to me and hands me the baby without saying a word. I am freaking out since I was sure we had used protection and I am rapidly trying to figure out if the kid is mine. After what seemed to be 10 minutes, she finally says "He isn't yours. I was already pregnant when we did it. Oh, and I was engaged then too, but my husband doesn't know we did it." She took the kid and walked away. Years later, my mom sends me a clipping from the local paper. Guess who is on the police blotter for writing hot checks and stealing a car? And now she is married to a guy she baby sat when she was in HS.
The way I read this, your fling was right before HS graduation. Was she in HS too? Was she F'n engaged as a Sr in HS?
tford12
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Girl I dated Junior and Senior years of HS. Broke up with her summer before we went to A&M. I start dating a new girl that summer, who lived/worked in my hometown.

Anyways, in the fall, I go home for a weekend and decide to go to watch my High School's football game & hang out with some old buddies. I take the new girlfriend. Ex shows up to the game. Ex comes up to say hi, and ends up kissing me in front of the new girlfriend to stir some **** up. And she was successful.

Weird thing is, the new girlfriend ended up being WAY crazier than the high school ex
The Collective
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I take it you are from the city?
GiveEmHellBill
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Had one that stole the ice cube trays out of the freezer.

What kind of sick b*tch steals the ice cube trays out of the freezer????
chjoak
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80s bringing up actual babies reminded me of a story about my dad. Found out (from my mom) in my mid-thirties that my mom was dad's wife #4. Then also got to hear some of the back story (also from my mom) about some of the other wives.

Not a crazy ex story but a crazy soon to be ex...

Dad was in the Navy for 20 years. Wife's 2 & 3 happened during his Navy years. Not sure exactly how long he was married to wife 2 (from here known as W2) but it ended very quickly after he got home from a 6 month deployment and was greeted at the door by W2 and "his son". See... W2 wasn't pregnant when he left. But her best friend (from here known as W2BF) was. W2BF's baby daddy took off when he found out she was knocked up. W2 convinced her to keep it. When it came time to have the baby W2BF decided that she just couldn't be a single mom so W2 went with her to the hospital, had W2BF check in under W2's name and then put W2 and my dad's name on the birth certificate. Crazy lady even named the baby chjoak's dad Jr. My dad came home and noped the F out of there really damned quick.
chjoak
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CJS4715 said:

I take it you are from the city?
Live in the Houston burbs now but grew up in a town of 60k surrounded by family that lived in small towns of 1-5k. As back wood as my family and their friends are, I never heard of any of them being engaged before HS graduation.
80s Guy
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chjoak said:

CJS4715 said:

I take it you are from the city?
Live in the Houston burbs now but grew up in a town of 60k surrounded by family that lived in small towns of 1-5k. As back wood as my family and their friends are, I never heard of any of them being engaged before HS graduation.


Well, she says she was engaged. I don't recall a ring but that was a long time ago. It is not uncommon for verbal engagements in small towns but not actually have the ring until after graduation. Funny how it is accepted to be knocked up but not to be engaged as a HS aged kid...
Mmetag10
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I had one that was pretty crazy. Had her navy seal wannabe boyfriend drive nails in the sidewall of my tires one summer. The next summer she put a dry ice bomb on my porch. (which is now a felony in case you were wondering) FBI showed up and everything (We had judges living next door on both sides and they freaked thinking it was for them i knew better). And stalked me any time i've returned to town for about 5 years after i graduated high school.
Dr. Faustus
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Unthought Known said:

That or she aborted your baby.


99% sure that wasn't the case.

Ags4DaWin
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Dated a girl in HS. Her dad was the HS basketball coach. Mom taught AP Classes and had her mom in class. First girl I ever got serious and physical with.

Broke up with her midway through senior year. Made the mistake of doing it during school hours.....yeah I was dumb.

She ran and told her parents. Who interestingly enough never held it against me and sort of took my side, which I think made her even more crazy.

EVERYONE at our school thought I was scum for a few days, even though I didn't cheat on her or anything. She followed me around school for three weeks crying. Came to the baseball pep rallies and our games and sat behind the bench asking me why and to get back together and yeah there were tears until the coach made her leave.

After three weeks of this everyone in school told me that I had made the right decision because she was BSC. The next two girlfriends I had she spread rumors around the school that I was banging her on the side while I dated these other girls...which I wasn't because we never had sex. While dating she had claimed that she wanted to be a virgin...but after we broke up decided to get drunk and bang random guys...whatever.

After I went to A&M she had a few friends that decided to go there...called me up whenever she was in town but I stayed away and found excuses to not be in town when she was. She started calling me up everybody couple of months a few years back when she was drunk and Facebook messaging me when drunk asking why we didn't work out and telling me that I was her true love.
When this happens, I usually spend 10 minutes talking to her and listening to her tell me about her latest loser boyfriend who doesn't want to get married, and then that's that.

She only has my number because I haven't changed my cell number since I got it.I am married and have kids and she knows this. But I haven't told my wife about crazy ex because I feel bad for her for not having moved on.

And she's not violent nor never been dangerous. My mom told me when she and I started dating to be careful how physical we got because the girl seemed "high strung" and would get attached quickly if we got physical. I Found out later that I had given her first orgasm while we had fooled around (no sex though).

And yeah, mom called that one.
Bryan98
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wbt5845 said:

IrishTxAggie said:

Been cheated on before. Trust no one until there's a ring on it. Also, I said 'OR' not 'AND'.

It's not cheating until you actually ARE married. All sex before marriage is just premarital sex.


No offense, but this reads like the mental justifications of a serial cheater who thinks it's okay to manipulate and lie to romantic partners.

On the other hand, the second paragraph (which I didn't quote) sounds like the words of a religious person who believes in abstinence until marriage.
AgEng06
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You should do a search for his past posts on this topic. I think you would see that both of your statements are correct...
who?mikejones
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wbt5845 said:

IrishTxAggie said:

Been cheated on before. Trust no one until there's a ring on it. Also, I said 'OR' not 'AND'.

It's not cheating until you actually ARE married. All sex before marriage is just premarital sex.

You can dress it up with all sorts of names for intermediate relationships something short of marriage - but one night stands and a "committed relationship" are both just premarital sex.


Not this **** again
IrishTxAggie
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He's been saying that for awhile on the GB...
Bryan98
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AgEng06 said:

You should do a search for his past posts on this topic. I think you would see that both of your statements are correct...
He's a deeply religious serial cheater who believes in abstinence until marriage, just not for himself?
80s Guy
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Bryan98 said:

AgEng06 said:

You should do a search for his past posts on this topic. I think you would see that both of your statements are correct...
He's a deeply religious serial cheater who believes in abstinence until marriage, just not for himself?


Yep, clean bride, dirty pecker....
CDUB98
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Bryan98 said:

wbt5845 said:

IrishTxAggie said:

Been cheated on before. Trust no one until there's a ring on it. Also, I said 'OR' not 'AND'.

It's not cheating until you actually ARE married. All sex before marriage is just premarital sex.


No offense, but this reads like the mental justifications of a serial cheater who thinks it's okay to manipulate and lie to romantic partners.

On the other hand, the second paragraph (which I didn't quote) sounds like the words of a religious person who believes in abstinence until marriage.


You have no idea.
Eliminatus
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Max Power said:

Eliminatus said:

Been stabbed with scissors. Like full on used like a knife. Looks like I have a gnarly surgery scar on my belly.

Also had my favorite leather jacket (remember when those were a thing) put in a dryer with several broken bottles.

Both done by latinas. This is why I prefer white women. Just throw some Xanax at them and they quiet down.
It must be nice to experience true love, that is the only thing that can bring out such emotion.

A Mexican friend of mine gave me some advice. He said "Whatever you do in life, never get involved with a Latin woman. They are too fertile and crazy to mess with, they will ruin your life."

Words of wisdom.
Thanks, Johnny "I'm Too Late" Advice.

Can confirm. Through trial and error. Lots of error.
LupinusTexensis
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chipotle said:

LupinusTexensis said:

I had a guy tell me he had an STI after we broke up. I freaked out and went and got tested despite using protection. I came back clean. I texted him that, and he told me he knew and that he was trying to scare me.


Why didn't you tell him you were late? I'll hang up and listen.


Because I'm not the crazy ex
agracer
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Gil Renard said:

Texted me a pic of her new born with her husband and said this should have could have been yours
you're gay or bi?
Serious Lee
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i actually kept a jizz rag in my car in HS but one day there just wasnt enough febreeze to freshen up the place so after throwing out the rag, i went surgical on that car to figure out what the odor was. apparently my ex had broken in, cut a hole in the bottom of my seat, and stuffed a trout in the bottom of the seat. insurance co deemed it totaled since they couldnt get the smell out.
IrishTxAggie
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Uncle Gunnysack said:

i actually kept a jizz rag in my car in HS but one day there just wasnt enough febreeze to freshen up the place so after throwing out the rag, i went surgical on that car to figure out what the odor was. apparently my ex had broken in, cut a hole in the bottom of my seat, and stuffed a trout in the bottom of the seat. insurance co deemed it totaled since they couldnt get the smell out.
Dafuq???
Carlo4
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IrishTxAggie said:

Uncle Gunnysack said:

i actually kept a jizz rag in my car in HS but one day there just wasnt enough febreeze to freshen up the place so after throwing out the rag, i went surgical on that car to figure out what the odor was. apparently my ex had broken in, cut a hole in the bottom of my seat, and stuffed a trout in the bottom of the seat. insurance co deemed it totaled since they couldnt get the smell out.
Dafuq???



This story seems a little fishy to me...

quanah
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IrishTxAggie said:

Uncle Gunnysack said:

i actually kept a jizz rag in my car in HS but one day there just wasnt enough febreeze to freshen up the place so after throwing out the rag, i went surgical on that car to figure out what the odor was. apparently my ex had broken in, cut a hole in the bottom of my seat, and stuffed a trout in the bottom of the seat. insurance co deemed it totaled since they couldnt get the smell out.
Dafuq???

What the hell do you do with your jizz when you ejaculate in your vehicle?
IrishTxAggie
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Napkins that get dumped at the Sonic trash can. I don't keep a crusty rag. Thing would be a concealed weapon after enough uses.
Woody2006
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Why are you guys jizzing in your vehicles? You can't wait to get home before jerking it?
Smithjg
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My exwife called the night our divorce was final and wanted me to come over and wanted me to stay the night. I did, because the sex was always great, esp. the beej's.

She moved to Corpus, job transfer and she was lonely, not knowing anyone there, so he kept inviting me to stay when I was off. I worked shift and was off 14/28 days, so I did for a while.....
crowman2010
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What's the crazy part here?
Owner - Mosquito and Pest Authority | www.bugsbite.com
quanah
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Woody2006 said:

Why are you guys jizzing in your vehicles? You can't wait to get home before jerking it?

Have you ever been stuck in traffic? Or on a long boring road trip? Or seen a hottie in yoga pants jogging on the sidewalk? Or had to get a quickie in with a chick you don't want to know where you live and don't feel like she's worth getting a hotel room for?
Eliminatus
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Smithjg said:

My exwife called the night our divorce was final and wanted me to come over and wanted me to stay the night. I did, because the sex was always great, esp. the beej's.

She moved to Corpus, job transfer and she was lonely, not knowing anyone there, so he kept inviting me to stay when I was off. I worked shift and was off 14/28 days, so I did for a while.....


Banging exes.

Might be one of my most favorite past times.
crowman2010
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Fuggin weird dude...
Owner - Mosquito and Pest Authority | www.bugsbite.com
 
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