10 man Home Depot battle royal

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superunknown
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10:14p, 10/18/11
Apologies if you've seen this before, or even read it today on Deadspin.

quote:

You are chosen to compete against 9 other people. All ten of you are locked in a standard Home Depot. The place is dark except emergency lights above exits. The goal is to kill one another to become last man standing. Last person alive gets to leave.

You are allowed to choose 3 pieces of equipment to aid you. Anything with a bar-code counts as one piece of equipment. For example, if you choose a nail gun, then a container of nails will be needed, so that would equal two pieces of equipment. You can use only the equipment you choose, no scalping from dead guys.

What three weapons would you choose and what would be your strategy?
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Scooley01
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10:19p, 10/18/11
What possible reasoning could there be to limiting to three pieces of equipment when you're in a store full of thousands?
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42
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10:20p, 10/18/11
Fork lift.

Push shelves over on the other people.


I win.
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rhoswen
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10:21p, 10/18/11
quote:
What possible reasoning could there be to limiting to three pieces of equipment when you're in a store full of thousands?


DON'T BE BRINGING LOGIC AND REASON INTO A SCENARIO THAT IS VERY LIKELY TO HAPPEN

and oh hai super
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Beer Baron
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10:21p, 10/18/11
It's like a dyke version of The Hunger Games.
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GarlandAg2012
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10:26p, 10/18/11
Forklift will not have a barcode on it. They are not for sale at HD.

Riding mower might do it but I suspect the shelves are bolted to the floor just in case.

The correct answer is pesticide, a case of water, and the largest food item they have. Poison the rest of the food and hide.

Edit: highest in calories, not necessarily largest I guess.

[This message has been edited by GarlandAg2012 (edited 10/18/2011 9:26p).]
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superunknown
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10:27p, 10/18/11
quote:
What possible reasoning could there be to limiting to three pieces of equipment when you're in a store full of thousands?


To add another element of danger/planning to this, a Most Dangerous Game. What element of sport would be to perch on top of something well-defensed and mow everything down with a nailgun?

and oh hai rho
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DripAG08
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10:30p, 10/18/11
Chainsaw, Skillsaw, Plywood....Bring it beetches
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42
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10:43p, 10/18/11
Screw it if the fork lift doesn't have a bar code. If my life is on the line, the rules go out the window. And anyone who would stay within the rules is just stupid and would end up dead.
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The AntAGonist
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10:44p, 10/18/11
Bucket o' fertilizer, toilet paper from the mens room, aim and flame, and paint thinner.

Use bucket o fertilizer, pour in paint thinner. Dip toilet paper to create use, light with aim and flame run and hide in the bathroom for the kaboom.

Thats the best I got, right now.
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rhoswen
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10:44p, 10/18/11
it just occurred to me that I should be worried that you know how to blow *****up.
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defroach
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10:47p, 10/18/11
Can you rent a forklift from HD? Because then there would technically be a barcode.
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hbc07
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10:48p, 10/18/11
a better question is what piece of equipment would you use if a velociraptor was loose in a home depot?
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Beer Baron
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10:48p, 10/18/11
Easy. Velociraptor repellant.
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42
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10:49p, 10/18/11
BB
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hbc07
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10:51p, 10/18/11
wrong. traffic cone.
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EFE
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10:55p, 10/18/11
Bottle of propane, roofing torch(think pear burner), three flint striker

Bring it on
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Kentucky Mustangs
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10:56p, 10/18/11
hatchet/nail ripper combo

some form of pole with end useful as spear

metal trash can lid (industrial strength)


problem with nail guns is limited range , plus nails, plus caps leave you with no secondary weapon
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The AntAGonist
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10:57p, 10/18/11
Or if you need mobility for ambushes,

Aim and flame, Insect Repellant, and I would go with a machete, or it's closest relative at home depot. Ambush the enemy spraying the insect juice whilst lighting it with the flamer. Then go for the kill with the other weapon. Move out quickly.
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Beer Baron
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10:58p, 10/18/11
I'd probably just hide in a refrigerator.
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The AntAGonist
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11:00p, 10/18/11
I'd booby trap the bathrooms. Someones gonna have to sh*t, and no one is thinking of using their sock.

I'll edit that for ya!

[This message has been edited by The AntAGonist (edited 10/18/2011 10:01p).]
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Kentucky Mustangs
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11:05p, 10/18/11
Ant, the machete is good, but the ones they sell in home depot are no good. cheap handle, and no weight in the blade, plus when you buy it, the blade is to dull for safety reasons. If they sold gurka knives that would be much better.

It is why I went with the hatchet / hammer / claw combo

The blade is already sharp and the hammer side can crush skulls pretty easily.
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Keegan99
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11:07p, 10/18/11
Items seem secondary to tactics. Definitely need to go vertical. Get up on top of those shelving units.

Lots of ways to attack from such an elevated position.
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hunterntexas
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11:07p, 10/18/11
Do they have some sort of barcode machine? Find that, put a barcode on the forklift and go back to that plan.
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Sea Pony 07
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11:08p, 10/18/11
I shall have to ponder this, but a battery operated fully powered metal bladed weedwacker has potential.
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The AntAGonist
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11:08p, 10/18/11
True on the hatchet. Im not sold on going vertical. You give your position away. and you have to turn your back to climb up those things.
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Sea Pony 07
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11:08p, 10/18/11
The way I read the rule is if it doesn't have a barcode, you get to use it without it counting against your items.
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Kentucky Mustangs
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11:09p, 10/18/11
Keegan99,

I though about that, but then I might swap the pole for a rope to make a snare.
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shafter
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11:10p, 10/18/11
Axe, framing hammer, oxy fuel torch kit.

You're all going to die.
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EFE
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11:10p, 10/18/11
Can you still call it a win if you lure everyone in and go the 72 virgins route?
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42
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11:10p, 10/18/11
Sea Pony can be on my team!!!



I call skins!!
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Keegan99
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11:12p, 10/18/11
quote:
You give your position away. and you have to turn your back to climb up those things.


The climb is a risk, true.

But what's the concern about giving your position away?

Someone coming over to try to get you is pretty much the best thing possible when you're out of their range and have gravity on your side.
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Kentucky Mustangs
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11:13p, 10/18/11
Sea Pony, if that is the case you could steal the TP from the bathroom to make flaming things to throw. same with janitors supplies to make aerosol flamethrowers.
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The AntAGonist
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11:14p, 10/18/11
What if they have the nail gun and spot you up there? You're limited on where you can run to. Plus if you happen to climb up the turpentine aisle, now you can potentially become bbq.
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Sea Pony 07
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11:14p, 10/18/11
If you go vertical and make it up (I think you'd want to stick to the perimeter), does the metal sheeting you're hiding behind count as an item?


I like the idea of going up, but I think you'd be too limited in options for long distance weaponry - you don't have enough items to make flaming arrows or enough distance for other fire options.
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